Chapter Notes: Caleb's POV

* * * *

- 'A nightingale in a golden cage. . .' -

* * *

I made sure to keep my distance and refrained myself from touching her. Refrained myself from slipping my hand into hers, from wrapping my arms around her shoulder and pulling her against my chest. I was not permitted the luxury of basking in her warmth. The unreasonable amount of space between us was a cruel and torturous punishment, but one I forced myself to endure. It deeply pained me to do so, but it was necessary. It was not what I wanted but everything that Ava-Rain needed.

I stood against a wall in the living room of my condo, my arms crossed over my chest and my eyes focused solely on Ava-Rain. She was seated on the couch with her hands covering her face. We had both remained in our respective spots for over twenty minutes. Minutes that consisted of my inability to look anywhere other than at my mate, and of Ava-Rain refusing to look at me.

I had scared her, that much was obvious. Against her better judgment, Ava-Rain had trusted me, and I had destroyed that very element essential in every pairing. As a result, I was probably going to lose her. This was not what Ava-Rain wanted. It was not what she had asked for. I was not what she needed.

After a few more minutes of silence passed, she finally dropped her hands from her face, and, for the first time since we left the den, her eyes found mine. "Okay. I guess now is as good a time as any. Who are you?"

Despite my urge to turn the broken silent treatment as an invitation to go to her, I remained against the wall and allowed my gaze to latch onto hers. "Do you know what the four elements of nature are?" Even with the distance between us, I was able to make out the confusion that spread across her face.

Her eyes lowered for only a brief moment before lifting to meet mine once more. "Like," she paused, "do you mean, water, earth, air and fire? Those elements?" Her eyes narrowed. "Is that what you meant when you called yourself the 'heir of the four'?"

I nodded, though being an heir of the four meant much more than what Ava-Rain thought. "Legend has it that many, many moons ago, our Goddess, Luna, split each element in half and placed them into four human males and four human females. This act granted each human an affinity for their respective element, a connection that could only be strengthened when they found their other half. When they did-once each half became whole-those four males and four females were what my kind refer to as the Original Four."

I stopped to give Ava-Rain the opportunity to ask questions. To take it all in. To yell at me to stop or to simply just yell at me. To call me crazy. To do whatever she felt she needed to so. But she only remained in place and continued to hold my gaze, offering me her undivided attention. Dropping my arms to my side, I walked over to the couch and took a seat next to her. Confusion still held her captive, but she silently waited for me to continue.

"They were the first children of the moon, and to ensure that their loyalty to her never faltered, Luna cursed them with the ability to shift into wolves every night of a full moon. Once a month they would be forced to turn into beasts, forced to fight through their dark, animalistic nature until they no longer viewed the light of the full moon as a loss of freedom and control but as the grace of the Goddess. But the curse was also a blessing and rewarded them with an everlasting lineage because every single pup born from the pairings would carry a fragment of the element within them. And once they grew and found a suitable mate, that element would then split into two, and one half would latch onto the soul of their mate, and once they found them, they would be bound together as true mates.

"Essentially, all werewolves today descend from the Original Four and the clans they eventually created due to the rising number of werewolves: Air Clan, Fire Clan, Water Clan and Earth Clan. All four of these clans lived in solitude, apart from not only humans but from each other, yet they lived in peace and in harmony because they were still very much 'one' entity. No one element better or worse; no one element stronger or weaker. They managed to maintain that peace for decades. They were not beasts to fear nor demons to be killed. Once they proved to Luna that their nature could be controlled-when they were able to maintain a balance between their human side and their wolf with the help of Luna's grace-she lifted the curse and granted them the freedom to shift at will. And, for a while, they continued to maintain peace and harmony, but, as the saying goes, 'all good things must come to an end'."

I rose from the couch and walked over to the window that overlooked the city. "The four clans eventually grew to hate one another. Each one tried to conquer the others for power and this ultimately led to war. Specifically, the First War. And it was this event in our history that was ultimately responsible for over half of the werewolf population's existence today."

I stopped there, hinting to Ava-Rain that everything from this point on was going to get a lot more detailed and gruesome. I was going to be painted in a very different light—a risk I had no choice but to take—and, as a result, I was only going to give Ava-Rain plenty more reasons to run away and never look back. "Do you want me to continue? And I mean, do you really want me to continue, Ava-Rain? There isn't a lot of sunshine and rainbows but a whole lot of death."

"Really, Caleb? I'm not five. I don't flinch at the thought or mention of blood. I don't duck under my covers at night during thunderstorms and I certainly do not pray every night for a life full of 'sunshine and rainbows'. I do not cower at the mention of death, okay? Continue," she demanded.

A smirk tugged at my lips at her candor. I watched the sun descend slowly over the horizon and marveled in the unfailing promise of darkness that was soon to come. Hours ago, when that sun sat high and shined bright, I was reveling in the knowledge that Ava-Rain was going to be in my life for an indefinite amount of time. Now, I could only wonder if she was going to mimic the setting sun and desert me.

"For starters, you should know that the First War, happened many, many moons after the time of the Original Four. It began on a night of a full moon and ended on the night of the next. It is credited as the First War, not only because it was the first of our kind, but also because it was the first time in our history that our connection to Luna had been severed. The four clans wanted one thing and one thing only: power. But they knew that to gain power-ultimate power-they needed each other to achieve it. So they went against nature and forced elements into becoming one, which proved to be an act of disobedience that resulted in Luna's loss of power over her children. Plans and promises were made, territories were marked and alliances were formed. Air and Earth clans solidified into one, as did their rivals, Fire and Water, and the old ways of mating ceased.

"I'm not sure if you're aware, but the elements have always been associated with traits and meanings. Air—the yellow—is often connected to thoughts; earth—the green—to stability; fire—the red—to desire; water—the blue—to emotions. So, naturally, whichever element a wolf was bred from, the trait associated with that element is heightened. So you can imagine the power birthed from the mixture of thoughts and stability, the Air and Earth clan. Think, a solid mind, the ability to assess situations logically. They were mentally powerful, and those able to successfully push their elements to achieve what we call the 'ultimate balance'—when a wolf reaches its full potential by mastering control over its element to the point where man, wolf, and element are synonymous—they were able to enter their opponents' minds. They believed this to mean ultimate victory. If they were able to enter the minds of their enemies then they could control them. Immediate defeat, right?"

I turned from the setting sun and faced Ava-Rain once more. She was no longer seated on the couch but at the breakfast bar. Even with the distance, I knew she was intrigued, that she had been listening attentively and that she wanted more. "What possible chance did the bearers of desire and emotions stand, especially if those very desires and emotions could be controlled? Hi-jacked? Manipulated? Silenced?"

She shifted in her seat slightly and I could only assume that she wondered if my question had been rhetorical or not. Slowly, I crossed the room towards her, refusing to drop my gaze from hers. "Well, I think," she answered softly, "I think that the power of one's desires and emotions should never be underestimated. I think that if pushed, if really pushed, those desires and emotions will push back," she ended more confidently.

"Exactly. The red and blue birthed fierce warriors. Fire and Water combined resulted in an unstoppable driving force. Imagine, Ava-Rain, a point in your life when you were angry, truly and undeniably angry; an anger so strong and so powerful that you could not see or think straight. You were non-existent. You had become the anger. The emotion."

Once in front of her, I placed my hands on top of the breakfast bar on either side of her, causing her to be trapped between my arms. My face was inches away from hers, close enough that I felt her every exhale against my face. Close enough to see that she was no stranger to being held captive by emotion. "Imagine all of that anger, multiply it by infinity, and add in a whirlwind of other emotions. Aggression, determination, pride, rage, greed, hate, lust. Imagine all of those emotions swallowing you whole, controlling you to the point where there is nothing left of you and certainly nothing left to be controlled by your enemies."

I dropped my arms, straightened up and took up my previous post against the wall. "All those emotions along with their desire for power and honour, made the Fire and Water pack believe victory was within their grasp. They believed that they could force their enemies into submission with little effort, that their power of heightened emotions and desires ranked them as the superior clan. But it did not go the way either clans intended. Both had put too much faith in their powers. The many that were able to achieve the ultimate balance failed to maintain it. To gain the reins of one element is already hard as it is, but gaining control over two was obviously something never heard of until the time of the First War so there had been no precedent.

"Many of the Air and Earth wolves went crazy and became trapped or locked inside their own minds. As for the Fire and Water clan, whose mighty howls were loud enough to block out their enemies' mind tricks, became debilitated by all of those heightened emotions and desires, and became deaf to not only the cries of their brothers but to the cries of their own reason and logic. They, too, failed to achieve and maintain the ultimate balance and those very heightened desires and emotions were their downfall."

"So how did it end?" Ava-Rain asked, intrigue and suspense written all over her face. "After a month of fighting each other and themselves, what finally caused the war to end?"

"There were many casualties on both sides, making both clans in-victorious. The war ended once both sides acknowledged the cries of death ringing in the air; once they looked past their quest for power and noticed the blood stained graveyard they called their battlefield had been littered with their fallen brethren. Then, and only then, had the war ceased. Although the odds were in his favour, the alpha of the Fire and Water pack submitted first. It is said that he crossed over the lifeless bodies of his kin and ordered his pack to stand down. In the middle of the battlefield, he shifted into his human form, intentionally making himself vulnerable. His pain and sorrow weighed heavily upon him, but the love he felt for his brothers greatly outweighed his thirst for victory.

"He was submitting to the alpha of the Air and Earth pack, offering his life in order for the lives of his pack to be spared. He was the ultimate warrior-one of the two most powerful wolves to ever exist-who had victory in his clutches, yet, he knelt in submission. He chose to sacrifice himself for them all, to end the bloodshed on both sides. And he expected death right then and there, but death had not come to collect. Instead, the opposing alpha crossed the field to meet him, shifted into his human form and stood over his enemy as he contemplated victory. But to everyone's surprise, he knelt before his brother as an equal.

"The alpha of Fire and Water surrendered his mind and the alpha of Air and Water obliged by entering it. As a result, the alpha was able to feel his comrade's emotions. He felt the pain, the sorrow and the undeniable guilt. But stronger than those three emotions combined, he felt his foe's overwhelming and undeniable love for his pack. So much so that it enveloped him entirely because it mimicked his own love for his pack. Some say in that moment, both of the alphas' soul split into two, with each half plunging into the other. Remember, this was an act that only Luna herself could commit, which meant the connection between her and her children had been repaired. The alphas surrendered to each other, and in that moment, an unspoken decision was made; a third and final alliance was formed."

"They merged," she whispered.

"Yes. Air, Water, Fire and Earth would co-exist as one, just as they once had. One clan. One entity. One pack. Remember how the merging of elements affected the mating process? Well, that seemed to have reverted back to the old ways as well. A male wolf was no longer appointed a worthy female bred from the same elements, but mated with whomever he was drawn to mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. Whomever Luna deemed fit, just as it once was.

"However, even with the new change-or revival of the original mating process-the old, old ways had not been completely deterred. Even with the rise of mixed bloods, mating between wolves born of one element continued on, maintaining pure bloodlines still present to this day. Though, it's quite hard to determine if mated pure blooded wolves today are actually true or appointed mates. Before and after the First War, many wolves rebelled against the first merging of elements and fled, not only to ensure the survival of their single elemental line, but to preserve the 'old ways'. They feared change, and those who witnessed the destruction caused by the war, feared everything that the merging of the four promised: the unknown."

'And that 'unknown', was me', I yearned to tell her but held my tongue. That was a story-a secret-best left untold.

So, at least for the time being, that was it. The very basic and brief version of our origins. There were thousands of stories of how my kind came to be. How I came to be. And call it selfish, but I chose to hold out in hopes that I would have thousands of more days with Ava-Rain, with every one of those days consisting of a new story to be shared. Perhaps I should have continued. Said more and refused to shut up in attempt to make her stay longer. But the nagging voice deep within me reminded me that I would only be prolonging the inevitable.

The sunlight had long faded and the darkness, I was certain, both Ava-Rain and I appreciated. I was still propped up against the wall and Ava-Rain was still seated at the breakfast bar, her eyes still connected with mine.

It had been a long time since I had to tell anyone of our history. A long time since I had spoken about my ancestors with guilt and fear attached to every word that I said. I had always been proud of my kind's history. Had always been taught to respect, appreciate and cherish it; to live and breathe it. Since my pack and I were pups and old enough to understand, we had been taught to accept the past. To accept the good along with the bad. The highs along with the lows, and the successes along with the failures and mistakes.

Yet, I couldn't prevent or lessen the guilt that had washed over me as I basically explained to Ava-Rain that my kind was everything that she should undoubtedly fear. That my very existence as a mixed blood only came to be as the result of many, many deaths. I couldn't help but feel guilty as I tried to make her understand that our kind was not always good; we were not always fair; we were not always kind or nice. Nor could I have prevented the nagging fear that had belittled me with every word I spoke.

How long until Ava-Rain decided that enough was enough? How long until her eyes no longer held interest and confusion but hatred and fear? How long until she did the very thing I feared the most and made the decision to reject me and walked away?

I thought that I would be able to live my life, content and unbothered with the half soul within me-a punishment I deserved and a fate that I had created for myself due to past failures and mistakes. Yet, there I stood, shaking like a pup, terrified of the human girl that I did not deserve and the power that she unknowingly held over my existence.

And that just did not make any damned sense.

Soon, Ava-Rain lowered her gaze and stood up. It was obvious that she was trying to come to terms with the information she had just learned, probably trying to rationalize the story. I expected and anticipated the attempts to convince herself that everything I had told her was impossible and illogical. Rejection was not something that neither my wolf nor I wanted, but we could never have blamed Ava-Rain for doing what she felt she needed to do in order to protect herself. Even if that meant watching her walk out of our lives.

"You don't look too convinced," I broke the welcomed silence. If our time together was possibly coming to an end, then I would have thanked myself later for utilizing it by committing the sound of her voice to memory.

"Yes, well, it's a lot to take in, Caleb. Just. . ." the battle within her clearly continued on, "give me a second." She walked over to the window, her back to me and her arms folded across her chest. "You're a werewolf, and. . ." she paused, sighing heavily. "What do I say to that? How do you expect me to respond to all of that?"

That was it. It was over.

My wolf started to thrash around inside of the cage I had forced it into, refusing to accept the loss of our mate. He called on the red to help it break free, but I counterattacked with the green and forced him into submission by reminding him that the wants and needs of our mate would always outweigh our own. The choice would always be Ava-Rain's and the fate of our relationship was in her hands alone.

I joined her at the window, stopping only a few feet behind her. "I'm sorry for. . .for everything, Ava-Rain. I'm sorry that you had to find out the way you did. I'm sorry for putting you through all of this confusion and pain. For destroying your world. But do know that if I could do everything over again, starting from the day we met, I would not change a single thing. I cannot, nor will I ever, regret having spent what little time I had with you. I won't regret getting to know you or holding you, nor listening to the sound of your voice and your laughter. I can't force you to accept your place as my mate or for you to accept me as yours, but if all I am to have with you are the memories of the past couple of days-good and bad-do know that I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world. I will always carry you with me, Ava-Rain."

As much as I longed to reach out and touch her one final time, to relish in the heat that always seemed to radiate from both of our bodies by even the faintest of touches, I denied myself the pleasure. As hard as I knew it would be to walk away from my mate, it appeared to be necessary. She did not want this. She did not want me nor the life that I offered. A true mating had to be accepted willingly from both sides, mentally, physically and emotionally.

After my pitiful excuse of a goodbye ended, she turned to face me at the exact moment I had pulled out my keys from my pocket. I unhooked the key to the condo from the ring, grabbed her hand and placed it in her palm.

"What are you doing, Caleb?"

Although I had called on the green to rein in my wolf, the blue chose that moment to break free from its confinements and my emotions came on strong. I was hurt, sad, even a bit angry. But if there was one feeling I prayed to Luna I would never feel again—hoped would stay buried in the past along with the actions and memories that had conjured the terrifying emotion—it was helplessness. "This is not what you want. I see that and maybe I've always seen it but was just too damn stubborn to accept it. For us, there isn't always a happily ever after. The odds were never in our favour, Ava-Rain. I knew that from the moment I felt your presence in that club. It is what it is." It was not my intention to sound cold, but the only way to obliterate the helplessness I was determined not to feel was to harden myself against it.

I closed the space between our bodies and placed my hand on her cheek. "That's one of two copies of the key to the condo. I have the other so you won't have to worry about any unexpected visitors."

You don't have to worry about ever seeing me again.

"This place," I stared deep into her eyes, "it's yours now."

As a look of confusion washed over her face, she pulled away from my touch. I took that opportunity to make a break for it, because, Luna help me, if I allowed myself even one second more of being that close, with her scent doing nothing but fueling the red and making me rethink walking away from my mate for a second time, I would have ended up with a lot more than guilt to deal with. I turned away from Ava-Rain and headed straight for the door.

"How do you know this is not what I want, Caleb?" If confusion was the emotion that should have adorned her question, then imagine my surprise when I heard anger instead. "I'm sorry if I just had the shock of a lifetime dumped on me, and I'm sorry if I didn't handle it in the way that you expected, but that does not mean that I don't-" She paused, cutting off her almost admission.

That was it. That was all it took—all I needed to hear—to keep the flame of hope lit. I stopped halfway to the door and turned back around to face Ava-Rain once again. "That you don't what, Ava-Rain?"

Slowly, I retreated back to where she stood. I knew what she was going to say and my wolf knew it as well. But I needed to hear it. I needed to hear the words come out of her mouth. I needed to watch as she spoke, needed to see every bend and curve of her lips as she voiced the words. The closer I approached, the easier it became to see Ava-Rain's internal struggle with herself. She was fighting to refrain herself from releasing the words, from releasing her true feelings. I can't deny that it hurt to see her attempts to fight her feelings for me, but how could I ever penalize her for simply being human? For fighting what she feared? For fighting the unknown?

I don't think she understood the severity of the power she held in her hands during those painfully silent moments, or that her next words would seal both our fates. If Ava-Rain finally admitted what she could not deny, Luna herself could not have prevented me from closing the remaining space between us to lay claim of my mate once and for all. However, if she did not, then my decision was clear. I would leave Ava-Rain alone forever, continue on with my life and my pack, and continue to be the alpha that they needed and deserved. Remaining friends was not, nor would it ever become an option. We could never simply just be friends; I would rather not have her at all.

When only a few feet remained between us, I stopped, my eyes daring Ava-Rain's to depart from my own. She looked scared, but I don't think it was derived entirely from fear of me but, I believed, from fear of herself as well. But along with that fear, there was an undeniable hint of confidence that lingered within her eyes and was soon conveyed in her body language when she straightened.

"That I don't want you in my life," she said firmly. "That I don't feel something. That I don't want you."

As much as I wanted to take her in my arms right then, I stayed rooted in place. "Because you really, really want me?" I smirked.

"Forget it!" She rolled her eyes and turned away, but I caught sight of a slight smile.

My own smile surfaced as her words replayed over and over in my head. If she had any ideas of changing her mind, or any thoughts that I would, for one moment, even allow her to change her mind after that long awaited admission, she was out of luck. Ava-Rain had just signed, sealed and delivered her fate. She felt something for me and, even if she did not understand it, she had accepted it. Accepted me. Accepted us.

I finally closed the space between us, gently grabbed her by the arm and turned her back around to face me. "Really?"

"Heaven, God or Luna, help me," her eyes locked with mine, "really."

Without allowing another second to be wasted, I pulled her in and claimed her mouth with my own. There weren't any words adequate enough to describe the feelings that evoked from our first kiss. I didn't give her a chance to protest and, to be honest, I think protesting was the last thing on Ava-Rain's mind because she was kissing me back just as thoroughly as I was kissing her. My hands found their place on either side of her head, holding it in place as I deepened the kiss, my lips ravishing hers as they worked diligently to memorize every bend and curve of her sweet, intoxicating mouth.

Once air proved vital for the both of us, I broke the kiss. I leaned in and rested my forehead against Ava-Rain's as my hands settled on her waist. "You should probably get some rest," I whispered. My eyes remained closed as I reminisced over the feeling of her lips against mine. I wanted more but I felt it necessary to give her an out.

I felt her rapid breaths as they brushed against my lips, torturing and daring me to reconnect in another passion filled kiss. "Yeah, I probably should," she whispered back but made no attempt to pull away.

It was impossible not to detect the slight trace of uncertainty in her voice. I lowered my mouth to hers once again, brushed my lips over hers and basked in the undeniable fact that Ava-Rain's mouth was mine and mine alone. Nobody would ever be given the chance to taste her, or be lucky enough to enjoy the softness of her lips. "Do you want me to stay?" Before she could answer, I pulled my head away slightly to look at her and waited until her eyes opened before I continued. "Think real hard before you answer, Ava-Rain, because if you happen to say what I hope to hear you say, then you should know that once you do, I'm taking you straight into the bedroom. That is what's going to happen, Ava-Rain-"

Before I could finish, Ava-Rain's mouth reconnected with mine and her arms wrapped around my neck as her body pressed into mine. In response, I lifted her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist. Without wanting to break our kiss, I managed to blindly and effortlessly navigate our way to the bedroom and gently laid her onto the bed as my mouth continued its assault on hers.

Call it drunk off of passion, or simply drunk off of Ava-Rain, but I had so quickly become addicted to her and yearned for her like a drug. The more I kissed her, the bigger my hunger for her grew. I wanted Ava-Rain. I wanted her in every way imaginable. I wanted to kiss her and only her; wanted to touch her and only her. I wanted to familiarize myself with every part of her, inside and out. I wanted to cover every inch of her body with my scent so that there would be no confusion over to whom she belonged.

But, again, my wants had no choice but to play second fiddle to Ava-Rain's. Kissing her was as far as the night's events would go. Every fibre of my being was wired to claim her—to officially make her my mate—but those thoughts were going to remain as such. I could not allow the yellow to fuel the red into granting what both my wolf and I wanted because Ava-Rain was not ready for that yet.

My mouth painfully dragged away from hers, only to take up residence on her neck. She combed her fingers through my hair, then held my head in place as my mouth feasted on her skin. I felt it the moment she gave in and dived head first into the unknown, and promised with unspoken words that I would always be there to catch her. In the mean time, I would nurture this side of her, a side to her that I'm sure Ava-Rain had not been aware of until then. A side to which only I harboured the power to bring out of the darkness and rise up to the surface towards the light.

Tearing my mouth from its delectable feast, I lifted my head and looked into her passion filled eyes. "You are mine, Ava-Rain," I stared at the beauty beneath me, took in her swollen lips and the look of pure contentment painted on her face. "Bearer of half of my soul. Mine and mine alone. 'It is written in the sky, and what is written by the hand of Luna cannot be unwritten'," I whispered an old saying against her lips. "Remember that and never doubt, question or forget it."

* * * *

Authour's Note: Hey, guys! Wow! Can't believe Alpha has over 1.5K reads & nearly 100 votes! Thank you all so much for reading & ginormous thanks to those that take the time to vote, comment & add this story to your reading lists! It really, REALLY means a lot & I'm so glad that so many of you are enjoying this story! :)