Chapter Four | Part II

Chapter Notes: Caleb's POV

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'. . .we will stand tall, face it all together.' -

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     I had barely managed to make it out of my apartment before Kane laced into me. "Don't tell me that you're actually planning on claiming her, brother." Kane, who usually knew better than to question or argue, chose at that exact moment to make his feelings known. His expression was serious but his tone had carried traces of concern.

     "She's his mate, Kane. Whatever he does with her is his business." Chase challenged Kane, his tone defensive. Chase stepped to him but Kane didn't back down. With my back pressed against my condo door, I simply watched as my betas enforced their dominance on one another. However, the scene in front of me failed to distract me from what laid behind that door, the sleeping body I had left curled up in my bed.

     "And what about the pack, Chase? Or have you forgotten about what him claiming her will do to us? It's nothing against her, you know me better than that, Caleb. But you've heard the whispers of the yellow. This," he pointed towards my condo, "this will only give them another reason to spark a war."

     "It's not like you to be frightened by whispers nor the threat of a war," Chase replied. "Have you gone soft on us, Kane?"

     "Careful, Chase. I'm still hard enough to keep your ass in check!"

     "Enough!" I finally intervened, and without having to be told twice, the two separated. "I didn't call you both here to discuss my love life." Love life? "What did you find out about the pup that attacked her?"

     "Not much," Chase forced himself to break his staring contest with Kane and turned to face me. "He hasn't been claimed, so you were probably right about him being a rogue. Most likely a T&D. The area is too domesticated, free from any real wild life. He must have known the area, maybe even knew Ava-Rain. That, or he probably smelled your scent on her."

     T&D stood for 'turned and deserted', the appropriate term for a human that had been turned into a wolf and then left on its own. As bad as it is to say, his death was the best thing for him. He had not been given the chance or opportunity to learn about his new nature and had not been taught how to to tame and control his beast. Had I not put an end to his life, he would have surely received the gift from another. After your first shift, both your senses and emotions were heightened. It was an overwhelming experience and the degree of difficulty in possessing and maintaining control was extremely high. The help and assistance of older and more experienced wolves was vital because they were the only ones that could teach you how to become one with your wolf.

     The pup had not been given the chance to learn how to maintain a balance with his wolf, a quality especially necessary for a human turned wolf, which in itself was a rarity. Even if he had known Ava-Rain, the boy and the wolf were two different entities. The boy had been too far gone and in his place was the wolf, who had probably viewed Ava-Rain as nothing more than a meal.

     "How is she doing?" Chase asked.

     "She's good at pretending," I admitted and thought back to the day's earlier events.

     Words could not explain the feeling I felt when Ava-Rain ran straight into my arms after being kicked out of her house. I must have felt everything ranging from surprise, concern, confusion and ultimately anger as she cried in my arms. I knew something had not been right minutes after she entered her house and it was why I had remained parked in her driveway. I felt faint traces of her anguish and despair. It was like my whole being was linked to her just like the night she had been attacked.

     She had been hurt. Somebody had hurt my mate and in my world that was deemed the ultimate offense. When she told me what had happened with her grandmother, I knew, without having to think twice, that I was taking her back to my condo. She was mine to protect without question. Mine to have and to hold and. . .to love? I didn't know what it meant, what it entailed or if I was in the position to give or receive love, but I was going to love Ava-Rain and I wasn't going to accept anything less than her love in return. I was prepared to fight for her until my last breath.

     "She doesn't like being vulnerable. I just want her to know that it's okay, that she doesn't have to pretend with me. But I have to remember that in her eyes I'm still just some guy she met at a club." However, I knew that she trusted me. Ava-Rain had absolutely no right to trust me but she did. I valued it more than anything and the only way to repay her would be to not take that trust for granted. To not give her a reason to regret that decision.

     "And the guy that stalked her," Kane added, which earned him a deadly glare. "And the guy that kidnapped her."

     "She'll open up to you in her own time. She trusts you, Caleb."

     "She must. She's in your bed as we speak," Kane smirked.

     "Alright. Time for you both to go." I shook my head at Kane's bluntness, but a smile had managed to escape my lips. I knew my beta better than anybody, so I knew that he had not been alluding to anything crude or demeaning in regards to Ava-Rain. Kane and his sarcasm seemed to have been a packaged deal, and since there was no way of getting rid of him I had grown to accept it. Even if it made me want to strangle him most days.

     I reached out to Chase, who had been closest to me at that point, placed a hand at the back of his head and touched my forehead to his. It was a simple gesture, an act of endearment. An alpha and his pack were one. A family. Every single one of my pack members were nothing short of my brothers, wolves that would die for me and wolves that I would die for. Showing affection, even in the form of a gentle head but, was a common way to express our loyalty, gratitude, our bond, anything.

     I did the same to Kane but lingered a bit longer. There was absolutely no doubt that Kane bled the red, if his dominant personality and temper were any indication. His outburst moments prior was not a display of ill feelings towards Ava-Rain, but more along the lines of his concern for our pack and for me and his desire for our protection.

     "Caleb, you know I didn't mean anything against Ava-Rain, right?"

     I pulled my head away to look at him. "I know." Kane was never the best at expressing his feelings and putting them to words, so I knew how hard that simple admission must have been for him. Just as I knew that was his best attempt at an apology. "But she's staying, understood?"

     Kane nodded in response as Chase joined his side.

     "I need her here. I need her safe. As far as claiming her goes, my wolf would love nothing more, but that's not even close to becoming an option right now. She knows nothing about us or our world and I refuse to keep the truth from her longer than necessary. And once she does learn the truth, she's going to need me even if she wants nothing to do with me. I will fight for her, and although I don't exactly need permission, the opinions of my pack matter a great deal to me. Are you with me?"

     "Even in death," Kane and Chase replied simultaneously, their vow undeniable and unquestionable.

     "I know what this means, the possible outcome if the yellow gets ahold of this information. The last thing I want is to put the pack through a war and I pray to Luna that it doesn't come to that. But Ava-Rain is mine and I accept her. I claim her."

     "Then she is one of us," Chase said. "And we protect our own."

     "Always," Kane added, but lowered his gaze for only a fraction of a second. I knew why he had broken eye contact, knew just how heavily that single word-that promise-weighed upon him.

     After my betas left, I headed back inside the condo with a cloud of guilt hanging over me. I had meant every word I said about laying claim to Ava-Rain despite it not being the smartest or best decision. I couldn't fault her for being human but I could fault myself for indulging in the thoughts and possibilities of having and keeping her. Although I was prepared to love her, I had not loved her yet. I loved my pack-my brothers-and it was that love for them that should have given me the strength to convince my wolf to deny Ava-Rain and stay as far away from her as possible. I should not have been walking towards her but away from her. Far, far away. I should not have been wanting her but, instead, denying her and my feelings.

     Yet, when I walked into the living room and took in the sight of her standing in front of the large window overlooking the city-in only one of my freaking t-shirts that stopped just above her knees-every single conflicting thought and all of that guilt seemed to have completely evaporated. The view of downtown Toronto was amazing at night, but it did not hold a candle to the sight of Ava-Rain bathed in the moonlight.

     Hell freaking yes, she was mine.

     I wanted her. Only her. Always her. Right then and there, with her back to me and her arms wrapped around herself, I vowed that no other man would ever touch her. No man would ever comfort her or hold her as she slept. No man would ever kiss her, make love to her. No other would claim her.

     I had the urge to walk up to her and take her in my arms but fought very hard against it. Instead, I leaned against the wall next to the breakfast bar across the room, folded my arms over my chest and simply stared at her in silence.

     "It's quite a view you've got up here," she said softly. "You can see everything from here and nothing at the same time." Minutes ticked by before she spoke again. "I keep staring at people, watching them walk by then disappear and I can't help but wonder if they're walking towards or away from something."

     Her voice, which had started of firm and full of amazement and wonder, had become shaky and full of sadness. She was trying to keep it together but, second by second, she began to lose the battle.

     "Do they have a home to go to, you think? Do they have people that love them waiting for their return?" I swear to Luna, something inside of me broke when I heard Ava-Rain sniff, a tell-tale sign that she was on the verge of tears. My body was immediately consumed by anger as the need to protect and comfort her intensified. "Because I don't."

     She dropped her head and I knew then that she was crying. My wolf thrashed around inside of me, angered at her pain and vowing to give her all of the happiness in the world if it meant that no tear would fall from those eyes ever again. I walked over to her, placed my hands on her shoulder and slowly slid them up and down the side of her arms before settling them on her waist. I did not wish to frighten her or give her a reason to think that I was preying on her weakness. My only wish was to comfort her and let her know that I was there, that I would always be there to take away or, at the very least, lessen the pain.

     "You have me," I whispered. "No matter what, Ava-Rain, you will always have me. I promise."

     I slid my arms around her waist and held her tightly, wanting her to know that I wouldn't mind taking the reins. That she didn't have to pretend. Though I hoped for it, I didn't expect her to relax in my arms and melt into my embrace. But when she did, I held her tighter and didn't want to let go. Her body was warm against mine and her scent had me floating further and further away from sanity. The feeling of having her so close, to be able to hold her and to be needed by her, was indescribable. It was more than beautiful, beyond and bigger than amazing. It was earth shattering, ground breaking, life changing, and mind altering all at once.

     Of course, I knew how much of a big step she had taken by allowing herself to be vulnerable. It was obviously something she did not do very often, if ever. But she was connecting with me. It was more than I ever could have hoped for or expected that early in our undetermined relationship.

     Feeling invincible with the strength that she had unknowingly given me, I buried my face in between her neck and shoulder. I was not quite sure how she would react. Would she think that I was moving too fast? Would it suggest something that she was not ready to deal with just yet? Ava-Rain was a flame that I was certain harboured the power to set my whole being ablaze. But as my lips pressed against the soft skin of her neck, I could not bring myself to regret the simple action. And if she had felt uncomfortable in any way, she did not show or voice it. She simply accepted it. She accepted me.

     "Never forget where you came from, the people that came in and out of your life or the situations that got you to where you are today. Every hardship, every heartbreak or heart ache; every smile, every laugh; every tear and every scream; every memory and every experience; your joys and your fears. All of it, they are all pieces of your life. The puzzle of your life. Every person has one and every puzzle forms one giant masterpiece. Worlds apart or worlds alike, the beauty along with the ugly, we're all one, Ava-Rain. A part of a whole, a part of a greater picture. Don't ever let your puzzle become incomplete."

     Ava-Rain placed her arms on top of mine, leaned her head back against mine. "Wolves and mysterious, gorgeous boys will both tear you to shreds," she whispered, and unbeknownst to her, I smirked. "Half of that theory has already been proven. Is it stupid of me to trust you, Caleb? Stupid of me to want you-a virtual stranger-to hold onto me and never let go? Is it only a matter of time before. . .before you hurt me?"

     I pulled away from her and turned her around so that our bodies faced one another. I hated that she thought that I may just be one more person in her life that would end up hurting her. However, I could not blame her for her inquiries or her reluctance to let me in completely. In all honesty, I was sort of content in knowing that she feared me. She was human; it was important for her to be cautious. She was feeling things that she could not fully comprehend, so she needed that fear as a security measure to ensure that she did not end up being hurt again.

     She looked directly into my eyes and I stared right back into hers. I saw her sadness, her confusion, her concern and her caution. "I can't tell you what to feel or how to feel, but I can tell you what I feel, Ava-Rain. I was raised to be strong, to walk tall, to always be in control and never allow your emotions to betray you. As a result, I lived my entire life being guarded and cautious, viewing every stranger as an enemy. I kept people at an arms length, even the ones who I cared deeply for."

     She listened intently, her eyes never once departing from mine. I could tell that I was connecting with her, bonding with her on a more personal level. "We may come from two extremely different worlds, but you know something about that too, don't you? The only difference is that you had to learn it on your own, as a defense mechanism against people that you cared for, from people who were suppose to care for you. You had to teach yourself how to hide what you felt inside, how to be strong, because even though you felt like it at times, you never wanted to be viewed upon as weak.

     "But I want you to know, Ava-Rain, that you never, ever, ever have to pretend with me. And whatever it is that you're feeling right now, whatever you feel towards me-confusion, uncertainty, whatever-I want you to know that it's okay. That you can talk to me, with or without restraint, with or without feeling like you need to be guarded. Do you understand?"

     "You promise you won't tear me to shreds?" A slight smile crept onto her lips, healing the ache her pain had stirred within me.

     I smirked and lowered my head until our foreheads touched. "Depends on how 'mysterious and gorgeous' you think I am," I joked in reference to her 'theory' and wiped away that last of her tears before taking her face in my hands.

     "You're such a guy," she playfully rolled her eyes and laughed. "I thought we were having a moment. A tête-à-tête. I just poured my eyes out to you. You owe me."

     My eyes trailed from her eyes down to her ridiculously tantalizing full lips. As much as I wanted to kiss her, I restrained myself from doing what I wanted to instead focus on what Ava-Rain needed. "Name your methods of payment."

     She took a second or two to think about how I could repay her before her eyes lit up and a smile spread across her face. "Chick flicks and ice-cream."

     I literally laughed out loud, something I had not done in a while.

     Yes, Ava-Rain was, without a doubt, mine.

     "I see your chick flicks and ice-cream and raise you a night of being held in my mysterious and gorgeous arms." Those said arms wrapped around her waist once again and nothing had ever felt so entirely and completely right. I lowered my head and moved my mouth to her ear. "You better hold on just as tightly, Ava-Rain, because I'm not letting you go."

     Ever.

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