Removing pain
and suffering
 is not the purpose of life,
 for life will always
 break you in half
in order to reveal
the contents of
your heart.
 Life will always give you
endless agonies
 to reveal
 who you are. 

/24/ When the Abyss Stares Back

[...]

THE night was still young and the neighborhood remained quiet. Usually, Raven doesn't care about the evening news but that time, while the place remained filthy, her eyes were glued to the television. As a matter of fact, Raven cared about the current events of society, she needed to stay informed, however, she was never particularly interested in the show business part of the news program.

Louella Starling, a famous influencer, mysteriously vanished without a trace six days ago. Natatandaang biglang naglaho sa mga mata ng publiko ang nasabing influencer at napag-alaman na lang na nanirahan na ito sa ibang bansa at may bali-balitang magkasama sila ni Lysander Vireo. Subalit isang araw, bigla na lamang pumutok ang balita na dineklarang nawawala ito.

Hindi pa alam ng mga awtoridad kung anong nangyari pero malakas ang hinala nila na dinukot ito dahil napag-alaman ding mayroong bodyguard si Louella ngunit bigla na lang ding itong nawala. Humingi na ng panawagan ang pamilya ni Louella sa publiko para sa panalangin na mahanap na ang dalaga.

Mabilis na nag-viral sa internet ang balita tungkol kay Louella na umani ng samu't saring reaksyon mula sa netizens. Kanya-kanyang post ng mga dasal, komento, at haka-haka ang mga tao. Karamihan naman ay panalangin na sana mahanap na ito.

Kung malalaman nga lang ni Louella na pati ang mga dati nitong mga basher at hater ay nagsasalita na ng mabuti sa kanya, sapagkat sumasabay lang sila sa agos, tiyak na mapapailing ito. Pati ang mga dating kaibigan ni Louella ay nag-post na rin ng mga panalangin, na may kasama pang picture na nito upang ipakita sa mga tao na may kunwaring pakialam sila sa nangyari.

Sadyang nakatutuwa ang mga tao sapagkat kung makapagsalita sila'y akala mo ay namatay na si Louella. Kung tutuusin ay karamihan sa kanila'y wala naman talagang pakialam, ang iba'y tila natutuwa pa nga sa trahedyang nangyari sapagkat may mga tao talaga na nakukuha pang maging masaya sa ka-miserablehan ng buhay ng iba.

Raven remained still as she watched the so-called influencer 'friends' of Louella, the same people who talked shit before about Louella and now saying the good things about her because they're just taking the chance of the spotlight.

Noon na lang ulit nagkaroon ng pagkakataon na makapag-isip si Raven, dahil karamihan sa mga naging araw niya'y wala siyang tigil sa pagkilos. But then, the smell of busted veins prevailed in her senses, she realized that she needed to clean up the place immediately.

She swiftly finished her job and quietly fled the area without being seen by anyone or even getting caught in the cameras outside the street. Nang makauwi siya sa kanyang tinutuluyan ay kaagad niyang inekisan ang mukha ng isang lalaki na nakapaskil sa bulletin board na halos hindi na masulatan dahil sa dami ng mga nakadikit doon. Pinagmasdan niya ang kabuuan nito saka nakita na may natitira na lang na dalawang larawan na wala pang ekis.

For the past six months, this is what happened to her life after gaining a supernatural gift from the little gods. Unlike Ellon, whose life became pleasurable with riches, Raven turned into something she thought she was always meant to be. A hero.

Lahat naman ay may kanya-kanyang depenisyon kung ano ba ang totoong bayani. Ang bayani ay nagliligtas, it's simple explanation for what she thought she is. But reality is not as colorful like in the movies, reality is darker, and sometimes a hero does not always mean a good person.

Katulad ni Ellon, kinalitis din ng mga nilalang kung ano ang nasa puso ni Raven. And her heart revealed that she wanted to be strong, she wanted to take justice into her hands—a hero for the helpless. She wanted a society where no children will suffer because of evil adults.

The spirits granted her the power she needed to fulfill that desire, and she became strong, so powerful that even a bullet won't kill her. For Ellon, money became his god, while for Raven, she became her own god.

The first time she took down a syndicate leader, she felt fulfilled when she released the captive children from oppression. The blood in her hands doesn't matter as long as she can uproot the weeds in society. It doesn't matter for her to fight evil, even if unknowingly she's becoming evil herself. 

Hindi gano'n katagal bago niya masanay ang sarili sa pakikipagtunggali, kung paano magtago, at kung paano tapusin ng malinis ang 'trabaho'. Noong una'y nagsimula siyang maghasik sa mga kalye hanggang sa unti-unti niyang sinuyod ang siyudad para sa 'hustisya'.

The police were puzzled by the incidents but they cannot find evidence to prove that all the murders of the wanted criminals were linked. The authorities managed to control the information, that's why it wasn't sensationalized in the news. But it doesn't mean that there are no rumors.

Maraming mga napanatag sa pagkawala ng mga kriminal, marami rin ang nagpapasalamat, at may mangilan-ngilan ang natakot. Somehow, Raven became a legend, but she did not care to be known at all. All she wanted to do is to vent out the anger in her heart, she's willing to dedicate her second life to this cause.

Kaya naman walang oras si Raven para isipin ang iba pang mga bagay, kabilang na si Louella, dahil para sa kanya'y may mas importante pa siyang dapat gawin—ang iligtas ang mundo mula sa kadiliman.

The next day, she assassinated the remaining drug lords of a criminal organization she's been trailing for months. Pinalabas ni Raven na nagka-away ang dalawa kung kaya't hindi ulit nagkaroon ng suspetya ang mga awtoridad.

Then she moved forward to find her next target.

The assassinations continued until she could no longer control herself. Raven wasn't aware at first that she's no longer attached to the idea that she's doing it for justice, she's just doing it to fill the endless void in her heart.

She grew restless. Hindi na niya kayang tumigil pa lalo't hindi nauubos ang enerhiya sa kanyang katawan na patuloy na binibigay ng mga diyos-diyosan. Nanumbalik si Raven sa mga kalye at isa-isang pinaslang ang mga umaanib sa kadiliman. That's how the terror spread in the community, fear reeked in people's mind, the same people whom she swore to protect. She thought she could remain in the dark but due to her slow descent to madness, she gradually lost her clarity and became reckless and sloppy. 

One time, when she killed a street addict, a bystander accidentally saw how she flew away, though her face wasn't clearly identified. Doon nagsimulang kumalat ang kababalaghan tungkol daw sa 'aswang' sa siyudad.

The authorities started to look for her and finally accepted that the past murders were actually linked. It became riskier for her but she couldn't control herself, she needed to kill.

Tuluyan lang siyang natauhan nang isang beses siyang may iniligtas na babae mula sa panggagahasa. She almost ripped the rapist's body into two because of her anger, but then she saw how terrified the woman she saved was. For the first time, Raven saw her reflection in someone's eyes and the realization finally hit her—she stared in the abyss for too long and it stared back. She became the same monster.

Raven totally missed this part,  'Be careful of who you are fighting because we might become like those we fight against.'

It was also that moment when it all came back to her, she remembered all the lives she took and how filthy her hands became. Raven, due to the grace of the One, felt ashamed when she also realized that she only wanted to fulfill her lust for blood, like an addict. 

Raven repeatedly told herself that she wasn't like this before, that she never planned to become a monster. Unfortunately, the affirmations didn't work.

And with all the remaining morality inside her, she managed to gather the strength to restrain herself.

Nagpasyang umuwi si Raven sa kanyang dating bahay sa pagbabakasakaling doon nyia mahanap ang natitirang bakas ng kanyang pagkatao.

Subalit naging bigo siya nang muling nabuhay ang kipkip na galit mula sa kanyang puso nang makita ang ina na umampon sa kanya. Bago pa siya nito makita ay kaagad din siyang umalis bago pa siya mawalan ng kontrol sa sarili na saktan ang ina. 

All this time, it was the hatred in her heart that fueled her power. Raven was deeply disheartened when she thought that it was too late to fight her own monstrosity. No matter how many evil lives she took, she knew she'll never be satisfied.

And so, Raven just decided to end it all.

But then, death is no match for her, because she became the death herself.

Somehow, she knew the only way to finish her agony, she just needed to let go of her soul and be dragged into the depths of Earth, to be burned eternally in the sea lakes of fire. At first, she was afraid, until she accepted her cruel fate.

Ngunit bago pa man sumuko si Raven ay bigla niyang nabalitaan ang isang balita na makakapagbigay sa kanya ng rason na magpatuloy pa. Isang balita na nakapagpagising sa kanyang kalooban—that Lysander Vireo, due to severe depression, killed himsef. 

*****

BEFORE Lou went missing, Lysander was supposed to surprise her that day. He was about to call her but he hesitated because he wanted to give her space. Napagtanto niya na masyado niyang binigla ang dalaga nang mag-propose siya noon.

At nang biglang mawala si Louella ay isa lamang ang salarin na nasa isip niya, ang pinuno ng rebelde na tinakasan nila noon na si Professor Jomari Silang, ito lamang ang maaaring magpadukot kay Lou. Kaya naman hindi nawalan ng pag-asa si Lee na mahanap ang kasintahan sapagkat ginamit niya ang resources na mayroon ang pamilya niya upang mahanap ang dalaga. 

Unfortunately, it was all in vain. Lou was still nowhere to be found. Huli itong nakita sa CCTV footage ng coffee shop na pinagtatrabahuan nito subalit nang umalis ang dalaga'y wala ng ibang bakas ang nahanap bago ito mawala.

Lysander's family did also what they can do to help him, but to no avail. Kahit na wala silang mahanap na ebidensya'y malakas pa rin ang paniniwala niya na dinakip ng mga rebelde si Lou. Kaya naman nakapagdesisyon noon si Lysander na ibulgar lahat ng mga nangyari sa kanila upang magiit si Professor Silang.

It must be the fate catching up to him. Lysander thought it was like a karma to him because he's the one who insisted to leave everything behind. Kaya naman dumating si Lee sa puntong sinisi niya ang kanyang sarili.

Habang patagal nang patagal na nawawala si Lou ay unti-unting nagkabitak ang klaridad ng kanyang pag-iisip. He became angry at himself for what happened because he felt he was the one who's responsible. Inosente si Lou at walang kinalaman sa politikang buhay ng kanilang pamilya, pakiramdam niya'y siya na lang dapat ang dinakip ng mga 'to.

Lysander had no idea where Lou might be. Tama naman siya sa hinalang nagmamantyag pa rin ang mga kaaway nila. All those times they were actually being watched by spies, but what he didn't know was, Professor Silang never made an order to kill them both. Bukod sa may security na nagbabantay sa kanila ni Louella, the professor just wanted to make sure that they won't reveal his secret.

Lysander descended into depression when he was beginning to think that Lou might not return, but deep in his heart, he still believes that he can find her.

The only mistake he did was to act by himself. Gusto niyang ilaglag ang secret organization ng mga rebelde ni Professor Silang upang mapilitan itong ibalik si Lou at huwag saktan. Pinipigilan siya noon ng kanyang ama sapagkat hindi magiging madali para sabihin bigla na si Professor Silang nga ang nagpadakip kay Lou. But Lysander was not thinking clearly anymore.

He returned alone in the Philippines, armed with truth and a bit of bravery. Mabilis na nakatunog ang mga rebelde sa balak niyang gawin kaya naman nakakuha sila ng pagkakataon para tuluyan siyang patahimikin.

They tricked him by sending a message that they will release Louella if he'll go alone to a certain place. Lysander's mind was clouded and he did a grave mistake by believing the letter. In the reality, the rebels never kidnapped her girlfriend.

Hindi na naging mahirap pa sa mga rebelde na palabasing suicide ang ginawa ni Lee. They managed to make it look like he hanged himself and even left a note behind, saying he could no longer bear to live without Louella.

Lysander probably had forgotten about it, that he was the one who made the first pact with the little gods.

Dahil sa dugo na inalay niya noon sa bundok ng bundok Itum, dininig ng mga nilalang ang kanyang saloobin. Katulad nang nangyari kina Ellon at Raven, Lysander also gained his wings from these fallen beings.

And of course, he was not an exemption to the rule. The moment they resurrected him, the spirits immediately scrutinized Lysander's heart.

But alas, they found something strange. Unlike the previous humans whom they bonded with, Lysander's heart was almost empty except for one thing—his love.

The spirits were baffled. They already saw his heart when he did the ritual, they knew there were bitterness and pain that they could manipulate but now it was gone. Even though Lysander was grieving and full of regret, the one behind it all was the highest of all.

Love.

Before meeting Louella, Lysander only wanted to be accepted by society. But when all those events happened, though it was full of hardship, Lee's heart was healed by love. He truly broke free.

The little gods couldn't accept it, still, they gave him a new life and a power like Ellon's and Raven's, to prove that he's corrupted like every human being on this planet.

One of the truths about life is that desire is the root of all suffering and misery. The spirits grinned when they awakened a new desire in Lee's heart, he only wanted to find Lou. And so, the little gods granted him the power he need to find her.

In a single blink, Lee saw in his mind where Lou is. And the little gods felt they succeeded when Lysander was angered when he saw the one who abducted the love of her life. Just then, he decided that he will make him pay for his suffering, Lysander wanted to kill Ellon.

"See? There's no such thing as pure love in your beloved children's heart," one of the little gods mockingly said to the One.

But the One remained silent, for these little gods didn't know that every event in the universe, including the evil acts of humanity, had the permission to transpire. Not only to test every human's heart, so that the One could lift the veil of darkness in their hearts, for the world has become the little gods' kingdom.

The One believes that despite how corrupted Ellon and Raven became, there's still hope for redemption. To welcome them back in the rightful kingdom of eternity. 

The One is the wisest above all, the Most High and unseen string-puller of faith who gives the true freedom. For the One is the one and only real Alpas.

The next question is, will Lysander pass the test?