The promise
of tomorrow
will only come true
if we stand up 
and grab
the chance of
taking risks. 

/16/ Nobody Will Save Us

[LOUELLA]

FAR from the usual trope in telenovelas, Lysander's family is very warm. The Vireos are an old rich family and a well-known line of politicians and business magnates that's why I'm expecting them to be somewhat like an aristocrat.

Lee's mother, who insisted to call her Tita Lorisa, is a petite small woman is also very bubbly. Hindi na niya ikinaila ang labis na tuwa na makita kami.

Well, Lee introduced me as her girlfriend, katulad nang napag-usapan namin kanina. Saka ko lang nalaman na kaya naman pala tuwang-tuwa ang mommy niya ay dahil ngayon lang daw may dinala at pinakilala ng personal sa kanila ang anak nila.

Nagkatingnan na lang kami ni Lee dahil alam namin parehas na hindi naman talaga 'yon totoo. If only they knew how badly the situation we're in.

Sinalubong din kami ng dad niya na si Mr. Alexis Vireo, ang kasalukuyang vice-governor ng probinsya nila. Like his wife, Mr. Vireo also got an upbeat energy, abot tainga ang ngiti at halos hindi na makita ang mga mata nito.

I also met Lee's younger sister, Allie, who seems very sweet. She innocently asked me what I liked about his brother and all I can answer is a shy smile.

After the introductions, kaagad kaming dinala sa dining area kung saan naghihintay ang tila isang piyesta. Paniguradong may expert chef sila dahil karamihan sa mga putahe ay hindi pamilyar sa'kin.

"Hay, I wish, Cassy's also here," sabi ni Tita Lorisa.

"She's very busy," komento naman ni Mr. Vireo. "Working in the law firm is her priority right now. Should we set her up? Baka mamaya mauna pang mag-asawa 'tong si Lysander." Sumulyap siya sa anak saka sabay silang natawa ng asawa. I awkwardly smiled while Lee didn't say a thing.

Katulad nang inaasahan ay nagtanong sila tungkol sa'min. Kung paano ba kami nagkakilala? Anong nagusuthan ko sa anak nila? Gaano na kami katagal? Kamusta ang family ko? At ano ang mga hobbies at interests ko.

I am no writer but I was also surprised at how I weaved a fake story about us. Kinuwento ko na nagkakilala kami ni Lysander sa isang minor class, I told them he first approached me to get my name. And the rest was fake history.

Ang tanging totoong kinuwento ko lang sa kanila ay 'yung tungkol sa family ko at sa influencer career ko. Hindi ko maiwasang mapangiti nang purihin nila ang achievements ko. How I wish my own family was happy like that for me.

Pagkatapos kumain ay nagpaalam si Lysander para kausapin ang dad niya. Habang si Tita Lorisa naman ay nagpaunlak ng house tour or should I say mansion tour.

Akala ko ang bahay nina Raven na ang pinakamagandang nakita ko pero may mas hihigit pa pala roon. Hindi man moderno ang design ng ancestral home ng mga Vireo, this place is unique and cozy at the same time. The exterior and interior design was heavily influenced by Spanish and Elizabethan Architecture according to Tita Lorisa. Idagdag pa ang mga paintings, sculptures, at iba pang furnitures na paniguradong mamahalin lahat.

After the brief tour, nagtungo kami sa courtyard ng mansion at naupo malapit sa fountain. Naglaho bigla ang ngiti ni Tita Lorisa at napalitan ng pagkabahala ang itsura niya.

Hinawakan niya ako sa kamay saka napabuntong-hininga.

"What's wrong po?"

Napatingin siya sa kawalan saka nagsalita, "We're really worried for our son. On the outside he looks strong and fine, but sometimes I wonder kung ano ba talagang nararamdaman at nasa isip niya. That's why I'm really happy that you're with Lysander, at least I know he got someone to rely on."

"Wala po ba siyang ibang kaibigan?" I regretted to ask that. You're her 'girlfriend' and you didn't know?!

"I'm not really sure, hija. But I know Lysander is the type of kid who prefers to be by himself. I'd like to ask that question to you . . . How's my son in school? Does he frequently hang out with his friends?"

On that moment, saka ko lang napagtanto na hindi ko talaga lubusang kilala si Lysander. I only knew him because of his infamous reputation. I remembered that he's severely alienated and bullied but he didn't fight back. Wala palang kaalam-alam ang mga magulang niya sa totoong kalagayan niya sa university.

Tita Lorisa, actually . . . everyone hated him to the point they're hurting him physically. Hindi ko magawang sabihin 'yon dahil paniguradong ayaw ding ipaalam 'yon ni Lee. Maybe that's one of the reasons kung bakit bihira lang din siyang umuwi rito.

Her mother couldn't possibly know about the mental and physical abuse. He was really brave to fight it alone by himself.

I also remembered Lysander's ritual of courage, how he told us that despite everything the hate he received because of his family's name—he still loves them no matter what. That's the reason why he's strong because he loves this family

Napakuyom na lang ako ng mga kamay saka pilit na ngumiti. "Oh, Lysander, he's really cool. We mostly hangout with our friends, Raven and Ellon.".Sinikap kong huwag magpakita ng kahit anong pangamba sa dahil naalala ko ang trahedyang nangyari.

"Really?" Napanatag ang itsura ni Tita Lorisa nang marinig ang sinabi ko.

Muli, unti-unti akong nilamon ng kadiliman ng loob ko. Tila umalingawngaw ang boses sa isipan ko. Kasalanan mo ang lahat, Louella.

The reality is fucked up.

*****

[LYSANDER]

DAD left.

Still, I didn't have the courage to ask him the question I've always wanted to ask. Was it all true?

As usual, kinamusta niya lang ako. He's trying to be the cool dad, unlike my grandfather who was strict with him. He also tried to tease me about Louella. She's a great catch, your mom likes her. You know how mothers can be selective to their son's future wife.

I dismissed what he's trying to say. I am well aware how badly they wanted to have grandkids but my sister doesn't have plans about marriage and bearing children. Kaya sa akin tila napasa ang bola na ipagpatuloy ang lahi ng mga Vireo.

"It's too early to talk about it, Dad," that's what I said earlier.

Though I'm honestly thankful dahil hindi niya ako hinihikayat na sundan ang yapak niya sa larangan ng public service. If marriage and grandkids are the only things he could ask from me, then I can tolerate it.

After the small talk, when I was left alone in my old room, saka ko lang naalala kung ano ba talagang pinunta namin dito. Hindi kami nagpunta rito para magbakasyon. I need to find something in order to save Raven. I need to find evidence.

Lumabas ako at tumambad ang tahimik na hallway. I carefully traced my steps towards the old office of my grandfather. They converted it to a library now, pero nandoon pa rin 'yung mga desk, cabinets, at iba pang old furnitures ni lolo. It's still the same, malinis din ito dahil palaging mine-maintain ang paglilinis.

My feet automatically took me here because I remembered something from my childhood. My grandfather used to tell me stories of myths and legends here. We were close because I'm fascinated by his stories. He even told me the tale of Alpas and his regret of shooting it because of his desire to take it home, I thought he just made it all up. Until I met Louella.

Lumapit ako sa bookshelf at kinapa ang pamilyar nitong porma. Hinanap ko ang isang lumang encyclopedia sa ikatlong baba ng shelf at hinila 'yon, dahilan para umangat on nang bahagya. It's a secret tiny door leading to a small secret room.

I used to hide here when I was a kid. My parents didn't know about this secret room kaya nagagawa kong makapagtago sa kanila.

One time, when I was about to hide in my secret place when I saw my grandfather arguing with someone on the phone. May mga narinig akong bagay na hindi ko pa maintindihan noong mga panahon na 'yon. Pagkatapos ay binuksan ni lolo ang secret door at may tinago roon sa loob.

Noong lumaki na ko at napag-isip-isip ko ang mga narinig ko noon ay saka ko lang napagtanto ang katotohanan. My grandfather was not a good person.

Noong namatay siya ay saka lang ako nagkaroon ng tapang para kalkalin ang mga lihim na kinubli niya sa pamilya. I first found out about his secret affair to another woman, he kept her pictures in that storage and their secret letters to each other. I don't know why it pains my heart to find out that he didn't actually love my grandmother.

Nang pumasok ako sa secret room ay tila hindi nagalaw ang mga gamit doon, it means hindi pa rin ito nadidiskubre nila dad. I covered my mouse and nose using my handkerchief.

Second, there's a ledger. That's the thing I could use to save my friend.

I easily found it and instantly remembered that old conversation. My grandfather was talking to the late president, he was his former executive secretary and allegedly the mastermind behind the great conspiracy.

Was it all true?

It just hit me now. All along I know the answer. Maybe.

I don't know.

I don't know what's real anymore.

*****

[LOUELLA]

NAGLALAKAD-lakad ako sa labas sa pagbabaka-sakaling makita ko siya. At hindi naman ako nabigo.

I stopped strolling when I saw him approaching him. I gave him a faint smile when he arrived.

"Hey."

"Hey," he greeted back.

"Paano mo nalaman na nandito ako?" tanong ko. Sa laki ng bahay nila' y namangha pa rin akong nahanap niya ako rito sa labas.

"Mom said she saw you here, mukhang namamahay ka raw," sagot niya.

Naglakad kami ulit hanggang sa marating ang mini bridge. Huminto kami ro'n para panoorin 'yung mga isda sa pond.

"Your family's nice," basag ko sa katahimikan. He just smiled, as if saying I know.

"Bukas babalik na rin tayo ng Maynila." Well . . . I'm not expecting to hear that sooner. Gumising ka, Louella.

"N-nakahanap ka na ng evidence?"

Tumango lang siya. "I messaged them earlier. They said we need to meet Professor Silang as soon as possible to verify the ledger."

"Ledger?"

"It's a book of accounts of transactions of bribery. That's the only thing I could find."

Natahimik kami parehas matapos niyang sabihin 'yon.

"Lee . . . I-if that goes out your family . . ."

"It's true. My grandfather and great-grandfather were corrupt in their own vicious ways."

"Y-your father—"

"He's trying to redeem the family name by slowly climbing back to the top. So far, he's doing well. He promised my grandfather."

I just stared at him. Sinubukan kong hanapin ang anumang kahinaan pero katulad nga nang inaasahan ay nagawa niya 'yong maikubli.

"You don't need to worry about my family, Louella," sabi niya ulit saka tumingin sa malayo. "Besides, all politicians are corrupt. They just don't admit it. Kahit na sabihin pa nilang hindi sila nagnanakaw, ginagamit naman nila 'yung position nila para mag-take advantage sa mga sitwasyon. It's a dirty world where everyone uses each other, friends were granted special favors, enemies were bought to become an ally. Don't you think so? It's not a place for good people, kahit pa ginagawa nila 'yon para sa kabutihan ng mga mamamayan, there's always a hidden agenda. Some are sincere in helping, but they're willing to dirtied their hands to work for good. It's all gray."

Halos mapanganga na lang ako nang marinig ko ang mahaba niyang sinabi. I couldn't disagree with him.

"That's weird because that's what I've been thinking." Napatingin siya sa'kin. "I've been chastised by the internet people before for not supporting who they believe will save this nation. Because I believe that no matter who will sit on the throne won't fix the mess that the system created. It's the system that must be changed but no one's willing to speak about it because people were always waiting for a messiah." Huminto ako saglit. "Maybe the rebels were right. They're trying to take down the system."

Umiling si Lysander. "They take it down then what? Sila ang maghahari-harian? They'll burn everything on the ground because of their hatred to the higher class, you know—the likes of my family. They might even kill us, strip our rights just because we're born on with a golden spoon on the mouth."

"Then, who will save us?"

"Ourselves. Nobody will save us, not even a god." I was stunned to speak. "That's why I'm willing to betray my own family for my friend because at least that's what my conscience is telling me. It's the right thing to do."

Napayuko ako at hindi na napigil pa ang luhang kanina pa nagbabadya. Lysander softly called my name and held my face to meet his gaze.

"I'm sorry for getting you, Raven, and Ellon in the mess I created. I'm sorry if because of my stupidity, you had to betray your family."

He shook his hand and gently caressed my cheek.

"You came into my life for this reason, Louella." He leaned forward and his lips met mine.

I closed my eyes even it doesn't feel right.