Ebonywind padded behind Ashblaze, Frostdapple, Redhawk and Pinestone. It was Frostdapple's first experience of leading a hunting patrol.

"We'll go around the swamp, it's too cold to get wet paws," Frostdapple ordered. "Spread out and look for squirrels."

Ebonywind dipped her head and partnered with Ashblaze, while Frostdapple went with Redhawk and Pinestone. They rounded close to the RiverClan border, and Ebonywind wistfully thought of Amberclaw.

Her problems hadn't been becoming better, and she envied Amberclaw for having it easy.

"Hey!"

Ebonywind turned around guiltily, seeing two squirrel's dead in a pile, and Ashblaze standing over them.

"Sorry," she muttered before focusing on hunting.

A mouse scuttled between her paws and she pounced for it, slapping down its tail with a deadly paw. She nipped its spine, and it fell limp, dead.

"Skinny," was all Ashblaze commented. She wrinkled her nose.

I'm trying my hardest!

Ashblaze had caught three squirrels, and her only a skinny mouse, and he was a new warrior! Ebonywind gritted her teeth and concentrated harder.

A large, plump squirrel caught her eye. She signalled with a tail flick to let Ashblaze know she was hunting. He dropped into a crouch beside her and crept to the squirrel's back. He crunched a leaf and the squirrel went bolting towards Ebonywind's hiding spot.

Ginger fur snapped her head towards the RiverClan border. Amberclaw! She looked hungry and Ebonywind felt sorry for her. ShadowClan was doing quite well at the moment, so she ignored her loyalty to her Clan and let the squirrel run past her and into RiverClan land.

"What was that for?" Ashblaze hissed, furious.

"What happened?" A light mew stopped Ashblaze.

"Frostdapple!" the tom growled. "Ebonywind let this huge squirrel cross the RiverClan border!"

Ebonywind risked a glance towards RiverClan's territory and saw Amberclaw catch the squirrel and look at her gratefully.

Redhawk and Pinestone glared at her while Ashblaze kept hissing.

"I'll be telling Rowanstar about this," Frostdapple said, puffing out her chest. "We'll head back now."

Ebonywind dragged her tail through the dust and entered the camp, where Frostdapple and Ashblaze immediately went to Rowanstar's den. She saw a patrol leaving the camp, and quickly volunteered to join.

"We'll be going to the ThunderClan border," the leader of the patrol, Cloudstalk, informed her.

As they neared the border, the cats let out their scent marks before preparing to head back to camp, when ThunderClan scent drifted towards them.

"What are you doing so close to the border?" A cat, that Ebonywind recognized to be Foxclaw, barked at them.

"Setting new scent marks," Ebonywind replied warmly, thinking of her mother's Clan.

"Huh?" a brown tabby she-cat said questioningly. Ebonywind guessed she was an apprentice.

"ShadowClan is the worst Clan, they are so rude and vicious, why isn't she so mean?"

Skyheart answered for her. She was probably the apprentice's mentor. "I don't know. They usually try fight us every time we talk to them," she snorted.

"Fox-hearts!" Speckleflower hissed.

Don't insult ThunderClan!

"Back down!" Ebonywind told the older she-cat, before addressing ThunderClan. "Sorry for my Clanmate. I think someone made dirt in her fresh-kill."

"I'm the leader of this patrol," Cloudstalk said warningly. "But you're right. Speckleflower, we don't want a fight."

"But I do," Speckleflower showed her teeth, leaping across the border.

The ThunderClan patrol reacted immediately, rounding on the she-cat.

"Stop fighting!" Ebonywind desperately tried to stop the skirmish, afraid for Skyheart, who was Luckystar's granddaughter.

She watched the fight, frozen and unable to move, as Skyheart was injured heavily by Cloudstalk.

Eventually, ThunderClan won. "Go back to your side of the border!" the brown tabby she-cat taunted before padding after the patrol.

"What was that for?" A nip on her tail shot pain through her body.

Speckleflower stood beside her, eyes lightened with rage.

"You didn't help us!" Cloudstalk said accusingly.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't want to cross the border," Ebonywind lied, hiding her real reason. "I don't want to break the warrior code."

I can't let them know I have other loyalties and other bonds.

"The warrior code is for fools!" Speckleflower snarled before Cloudstalk hushed her.

The other members of the patrol shifted from paw to paw nervously. "We should go."

Ebonywind drooped back to camp. She had messed up twice in a day!

"What's this I hear?" A loud voice said coldly. "You gave up prey for RiverClan?"

"I'm sorry, Rowanstar," she apologized.

"You seem to be saying those words a lot lately," Speckleflower sneered. "Rowanstar, she didn't help us fight when ThunderClan taunted and jeered at us."

Shut up! Shut up!

"ShadowClan crossed the border first," Cloudstalk interjected but Rowanstar didn't seem to hear.

Thank you, but its really my fault. I appreciate this, Cloudstalk.

"Ebonywind, I already warned you. This is your last chance." Rowanstar sneered before heading back to the center of the camp, where he had been addressing the Clan.

"As I was saying," Rowanstar continued smoothly. "Oakspark and Redhawk have been talking to me, and they have decided both to move to the elders' den."

"Oakspark! Redhawk! Oakspark! Redhawk!" the cats cheered the two cats.

"I would like to remind you all not to be too noisy in camp, we have a nursery with two queens and two kits. If you didn't know, Brookblaze has moved to the nursery." Rowanstar slid his gaze to Ebonywind.

"Brookblaze! Brookblaze!" Ebonywind cheered feebly, unhappy.

Why do I always mess up? I just want every cat to be safe, but I can't protect everyone! I need ShadowClan and my family to be happy, healthy and full. Its too hard, StarClan, help me! I'll go mad!

She kept watching herself for the next few days, careful not to mess up, jumping every time someone called her name, making sure that she didn't betray her Clan, all while keeping Amberclaw fed.

Ebonywind had never felt such stress, and she knew she was going to break soon. Her secret, which she had only known a couple moons ago, was going to break her life. It was going to break her. And if her Clan knew about it, Ebonywind suspected they would exile her, at best, or kill her, at worst.