A few days pass. I mostly just hide in my room or at the docks with the voice looming over me, telling me to write. I also chat with Whitney and Morgan until I'm at the docks one day at the same time as Lily ends her shift,  looking out at the lake, admiring it with a smile, the sun reflecting off the water in a beautiful display.

"Hey Richard," Lily sits next to me.

"Don't you dare," the voice hisses.

I put my phone away to write more later.

"God dammit!" The voice exclaims.

"How you doing?" I ask.

"Good," Lily smiles, "you?"

"Can't complain," I reply, "my parents have been chill. I just hope they stay that way."

"I do too," Lily replies, "anyways, my shift just ended. Wanna go grab dinner?"

I think about my weight. I already skipped lunch today. Why stop there? Maybe I won't be fat after a while.

"I'll pass," I lie as my stomach growls, "I just ate."

Lily looks at me for a moment then asks, "what did you eat?"

"Uhhhhhhhhhh..."

Well shit. She called my bluff.

"Richard," Lily asks, "you are eating, right?"

"If I don't eat I don't become uglier," I retort, "I can't afford to be fatter than I am."

"Richard," Lily asks, "are you... purging when you eat?"

"You better lie," the voice demands.

"Well shit," I sigh, "uhhhhhhhhhhh... I... I..."

"Richard!" Lily exclaims.

"It's fine it's fine," I reassure her, "it's not like I'm gonna... gonna..."

My vision grows hazy. My legs suddenly give out as I feel a ravenous hunger and the next thing I see is the wooden docks approaching my face. I hear only one last thing before it all goes dark.

"Richard!" Lily exclaims...

The next thing I remember is waking up to cold water splashing my face and someone shoving food in my face. "Eat this," a voice demands.

I open my eyes to see Lily looking at me with panic in her eyes, shoving fries in my mouth.

"Chew and you'll get fat," Purity reminds.

"I know I know," I reply, but it comes out as, "mphf."

"Richard you have go eat," Lily pleads, "please." Lily takes my hand and looks me in the eye with a sweet, soothing smile, "do it for me."

I chew the fries and ask, "what happened?"

"You passed out at the docks," Lily explains, "I brought you here, got you some food, and woke you up."

"Oh," I reply, "sorry."

"Richard," Lily asks, "how long has this been going on?"

"For a while," I admit, "I just keep thinking maybe if I'm skinny and look a little better, people will like me. Girls will stop rejecting me on account of my repulsive personality. I'll finally have some sort of value."

"Richard why are you saying these things?!?" Lily demands, intense concern in her eyes.

"Lily," I sigh, "what have I done with my life? Like, really, what have I done? All I've done is sit on my fat ass and write shitty books no one will ever see. It's not like I have any worth. Any value to anyone. If I were just gone, never born, everyone would probably be better off."

"Richard," Lily almost looks to be on the brink of tears, "that's not true..."

"Hey hey," I wipe a tear from her cheek, "whatcha crying for? It's OK. If you want me to leave I can leave. Just don't cry Lily. It's OK."

"I want you to stay!" Lily actually gets frustrated for some reason, "that's the God damn problem!"

"Hey hey calm down," I reply, "it's OK. I'm still here, right?"

"But you don't plan to stay do you?" Lily asks, "Richard this not eating thing, it's not OK. Please, promise me you'll eat. We can go grab waffles. Come on. Do it for me."

"Ho don't do it," the voice demands.

"Alright," I reply, "let's go."

"Oh my God," the voice sighs.

With that, Lily starts the car and smiles at me as we begin down the road. For a while, we sit in silence, unable to start a conversation. How would you after something like that?

Eventually Lily asks, "when did this start?"

"I've never liked my appearance," I explain, "my brother gets teased a lot by my parents and he's only like 150 pounds or something like that. They already hate me enough so I stay thin. Then there's my acne and all that other stuff I've told you about. There's these bags I always have under my eyes and my skin makes me look like Dracula."

"You're exaggerating," Lily chuckles, "your skin isn't that bad. None of that is bad. You're a real cutie Richard. Trust me."

"If we're comparing looks," I sigh, "it's no contest between the two of us. You're physically fit, tall, have long, silky hair, caring eyes, and so much more than I could ever dream of."

Lily turns away with a smile, "thanks." Her face goes red and she snickers.

"What's funny?" I ask.

"Oh," Lily replies, "nothing important."

Why is she blushing? Did I miss something? All I did was compare how we look and tell her she looks better than me. What's the big deal?

With that, we arrive at Cool Cat Waffles. I get the door for Lily as we go inside, the pleasant smell filling my nostrils, the aroma filling me with a desire for bacon. 

"What do you want?" Lily asks.

"Just a little bacon and eggs," I reply.

"A little?" Lily asks as we sit down next to what appears to be a letter board, "Richard you just passed out."

"Hey I'm OK now," I smile.

"Look," Lily sighs, "you know how I mentioned Bertha is in college?"

"What about it?" I inquire.

"She's majoring in psychology," Lily explains, "wants to be a therapist. I want you to talk to her sometime, OK? Not right now, she's probably in class, but, maybe next week?"

"Sure," I shrug, "why not?"

A waitress comes to take our orders. Lily orders her usual, and I prepare to order a small meal, but then I see Lily look at me. The look on her face, I can't describe it. It makes me want to see her smile. It makes me want to eat, for her. In that moment, I want nothing more than to make her happy. So, I make my order, knowing I will have to cleanse myself of it later, but it's worth it to see Lily happy. Now if only I understood this feeling I have... 

"I want a huge stack of waffles. Like, the largest you can get me..."