T h i r t y  T w o
This one is for marshmallowssprinkle
:)

When your heart is breaking and your pain makes you fall;
Remember,
Just remember;
Allah sees it all.

☆

Mashal

Ever since I started going college again, I feel like I'm a robot. I used to love routine before I came across Alnihayya. I used to love waking up at the same time each day, going to college, studying, coming back home, eating and sleeping after packing my bag for the next day as if tomorrow was promised for me.

But now that I've realised nothing is promised in life except what Allah has promised, I don't like my heedless routine anymore.

Going to college, coming back home, sleeping.
Going to college, coming back home, sleeping.
It feels so ridiculous.

Maybe not for everyone, but for me knowing that people are dying out there, my own dad and love are risking their lives, I feel so selfish to stay here and do nothing about it except pretending that everything is alright.

Even in college, seeing Zeyara's chair empty pains me. There's a constant nagging in my chest that I should do something.

But that's the question. What should I do?

"Hey do you mind if I sit here?"

I jerked my head up from my chemistry notes to see the person who had addressed me.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw him.

(Muskaan: Comment here if you thought it was Zeyara. 😂)

Nathan was the last person I would expect to talk to me. He was the official playboy of our college with half of the girls drooling over the chance to date him.
I wouldn't disagree that he was good looking but he took advantage of his looks for wrong things.
And I hated that.

"Sure. I was gonna leave anyways."
I closed my books and stood up, ready to leave the library. I had a lot of work to do there but sitting with Nathan was something I wouldn't want on my resumè.

"Actually I wanted to talk to you." He smiled wide, staring directly at me with his blue eyes that had charmed hundreds of girls.

"About?" I asked hastily.

"Well....there's this party we are having before the finals. Everyone else is going so I thought it would be rude not to invite you just because you wear this...mask."

Wow.
I never knew I wear a mask.

"Thank you. That's very thoughtful of you but I don't think I'll have time for that. I have to study." I muttered dismissively and turned around to walk away.

"Don't worry. You won't feel left out. You can go as my girlfriend." He said from behind me.

I immediately came to a halt.
He was surely up to something. Throughout the whole year they had numerous parties. He didn't care to invite me then. Why is he doing this now? And not only inviting me to a party, he's asking me out.

"Cool offer but I'm already taken." I replied without turning to face him and stormed out of the library.

I had missed so many days of college and the finals were about a month away. My whole career depended on these exams but whenever I sat down to study, I just couldn't concentrate. I had to stop thinking of Alnihayya and start thinking of my own life for some time. That's why I decided to stay in the college library after the classes had ended, instead of going back home to Zeyara's room where all I could think of was him.

But now, even in the library Nathan's strange behaviour was becoming a hindrance to my studies. This year, forget about A, I think I won't even be able to get a C grade.

I had to relax my throbbing nerves and it was about time for Asr as well so I walked over to the biggest gossip hub of my college, aka the washroom for wudu.

I was just about to open the door and walk in, when I heard a girl's voice from inside and I couldn't help but listen to her conversation with her friend.

"I think Nathan's going to win the title of dating all the girls in the college."

"Yeah but for that he will also have to ask out that veiled girl."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at their stupidity. That was the reason Nathan wanted me to come to the party as his girlfriend.

"I'm sure she'll agree. No boy even wants to talk to her so when someone like Nathan will ask her to be his girlfriend, then she would die with happiness."

That's when I clicked the door open and walked in interrupting their chat. They immediately stopped talking and fixed their eyes on me while I walked over to the sink casually and started my ablution.

They whispered something in each other's ear before walking off, leaving me alone in peace.

I feel pity for such girls. Their life goals consist only of dating a handsome guy, being rich, looking pretty, attending parties etc etc.
I'm glad Alhamdulillah that I have bigger things in my life. I have real goals like attaining jannah, defeating those terrorists, meeting my father, getting back with my husband.

Just like my normal routine that I had been following for more than two weeks now, I reached home at seven, had dinner with Uncle Suleiman while watching the news. The news always consisted of Israeli terror in Palestine, bomb blasts in Iraq and Afghanistan, the hunger in Yemen and corruption in Pakistan.
It was more tension than entertainment.

However I had learnt to cope with it just for Uncle Suleiman's sake. Now that more than two weeks had passed since my arrival in Manchester, Uncle had finally started worrying about Zeyara.

"Mashal do you have any contact with Zeyara?" He asked one night, while we were having dinner.

I gulped, not knowing what to tell him. I knew he was alive for sure and I didn't want Uncle Sulaiman to get upset. "He called me yesterday Uncle. He's pretty busy these days. He said he'll be back soon in sha Allah." I lied.

That convinced him and the worry washed off his face and was replaced by his usual smile.

Even though my lie convinced him, it didn't convince me. I had to find a way to talk to Zeyara. Maybe I should contact Ibrahim and let him know that Zeyara is alive.
But....then I'll have to tell him about that secret base in Zeyara's room. If Zeyara didn't want Ibrahim to know about that, then I shouldn't let him know either.

Ugh! Does Zeyara not have any feelings for me or even for his family? Why isn't he contacting us? I know it's a part of his 'secret job' but just a simple phone call won't hurt him. It makes me feel like he doesn't care at all while I am dying to talk to him.

I let that day slip by without doing anything about Zeyara. The next day, however, it was Saturday and we were having a good laughter on Marwa's comparison of noodles with Zeyara's hair when Uncle Suleiman asked me that dreaded question.

"Mashal can you please give me Zeyara's contact number. I want to talk to him. It's been more than a month since I last talked to him."

That's why Islam tells us not to lie. Now I'll have to come up with another fake excuse. "It was his friend's number that he used to call me because his own battery was dying. I don't think It would be appropriate for us to call his friend at this time uncle." I replied, not looking at him but at my bowl of hot steaming noodles.

Now that I think about it, Marwa was right. The spiral noodles do look like Zeyara's curly hair......before he cut them off.

"Okay....." he murmured, sounding quite disturbed. He had probably started thinking that I was lying to him. "If not today then tomorrow in sha Allah."

"In sha Allah." I replied, my smile masking away my inner horror.

Now I really needed to do something.

When Uncle Suleiman went to nap for a while and Marwa was busy kicking her punch bag, I finally got the time to be alone in my- I mean Zeyara's bed room.

I locked the door and pressed the headboard as if I was a peofessional at this secret agent stuff.
In less than a minute, the room converted into the secret base with all those machines and that huge touch screen.

This was the second time I had converted this room but this time I won't leave without finding a way to contact Zeyara.

I put in the password to start the touch screen thingy and it powered up with the same icon 'Next Task Summary' on display. I clicked it open. I wanted to see that video message again to find a clue or something useful but this time it was a completely different video.

I sat down and watched It with complete concentration, not to miss out a single detail.

Once again, it was dad. My own father who carried upmost confidence on his face and the same black eyes like me and Ibrahim. This time, I also noticed his high symmetrical cheekbones, the ones that Ibrahim has. He was wearing a white Oxford button down and spoke in an American accent.

"Good work MZS0. You did it again. We finally received the evidence against the US aiding Israel who in turn funds the terrorists. Now we just have to present it in the United Nations. If they accept it, our mission will succeed. Palestine will be free again but remember if that does not happen, then we will have to use force. You do know the consequences right? It can get very dirty so pray we don't have to go through that.
All of Alnihayya, the Palestinian army and rebels will launch a final attack on Israel. Our final fight for freedom.
Oh and I got your message asking me for permission to contact your wife. I knew marriage would become a barrier in your profession. Don't forget that she's my daughter. My own daughter whom I haven't seen since she was one, who thinks that I am dead.
Like I said previously, you shouldn't have got married. I did that same mistake as you, fell in love and got married young. I used to be away for Alnihayya and couldn't see my wife for months. She ended up cheating on me and I ended up divorcing her. I got married again though, but this time my wife died in a terrorist attack. I'm not trying to scare you off, I'm just trying to tell you that this isn't the kind of job you would want if you want a family." Dad let out a sigh and I could almost see the ends of his eyes clicking as if he was about to drop tears but he continued speaking in his same professional manner without any hint of emotion on his face. "Khair, the next time would be do or die in sha Allah."

I wiped off my eyes with the back of my hands as the video ended.
Even though I already knew that my parents were dead, when I saw dad on these video messages I had started thinking that my mother is alive too but now that I've been told that she's not, I feel like something has been snatched away from me.

I don't want to be ungrateful, I just can't get over the fact that just by smiling at your mother, you get the reward equivalent of a Hajj, and I would never be able to do that. I would never be able to talk to the woman under whose feet, my jannah lies.

Sabran ya nafsi.
Jannah is not far.

I inhaled sharply to try and focus on the rest of the message leaving the sad parts aside. The parts which told the tale of Ibrahim's mother, the parts which took me back to dad's room at Alnihayya where he had my baby picture; the only one that exists.

The parts that were like a dark cloud ready to rain out tears and cover the sun of happiness in my sky.
Then again, rains bring rainbows, I just had to focus on the rainbow and forget about the rain.

The rainbow for example, would be that Zeyara misses me just as much as I miss him. He wants to contact me but he can't.
That made me relax a bit.

When I set all the puzzle pieces I knew of, dad's mission, I figured, was to free Palestine since the very beginning. He created Alnihayya to train people like Zeyara. The world thought their main goal was to end ISIS but their main goal was to actually dig down the roots and figure out who funded the terrorists. Now that he has evidence against Israel, he can present that in the United Nations and that will put an end to both, ISIS as well as Israeli occupation of Palestine.

But.
I highly doubt they will accept that. Why would Israel want to accept that they are guilty and leave Palestine alone? They would never ever do that.

And just like dad said, if they reject the evidence there would be extreme bloodshed.

"Metal!" Marwa's scream and banging of the door, panicked me instantly. I ran over to the button to convert the room back to its normal state.

"Are you alive or have you become a sheed?"

Once everything was perfectly normal again, I rushed over to open the door.
"Marwa it's shaheed not sheed and no I'm alive Alhamdulillah." I was losing my patience with her child like behaviour. Yes okay she was a child but she wasn't four or five. She was at least seven and now she was getting on my nerves.

She giggled, her brown eyes shining from under her dark bangs. She was wearing a blue 'finding nemo' t shirt on black tights.
I wanted to be angry at her, but her million dollar smile calmed me down.

"Metal abbi is asking for you downstairs! We're going to watch finding nemo after his boring news."

I bent down, plopping one knee on the floor to reach her level.

As soon as I did that, her hands flung to her mouth. "Are you going to propose me like sheikh proposed you?!" She shrieked in excitement.

I couldn't help but chuckle. You can never be angry at her.
"No I just wanted to talk to you. And your sheikh called me a continuous fitnah while facing my back, he didn't bend down on one knee and say I love you."

Marwa frowned. "He called you a fitnah and you married him?"

I simply nodded but didn't tell her that if he had bent down on one knee and said 'I love you', I would've never married him.
I married him for his piety and if he did that, he would've ruined his image in my mind forever.

"Marwa I just wanted to say that it's wrong to make fun of other's names. Not me because I love you too much" I said pinching her cheek, "but someone else might."

She stared at me while in deep thought for a few seconds before replying. "But isn't it sunnah? Our prophet (SAW) used to give good names to his companions right?"

"Yeah." I chuckled, "but good names means good names. It doesn't mean that you change Mashal into metal."

"But I studied metals in science. They're good and they're like you!"

"Oh really?" I raised my brow, "What's so good in being a metal?"
I couldn't find a single similarity between me and a metal.

"Metals are found deep in the earth and miners have to work hard day and night to dig them out. They're very difficult to find. Also, metals are hard but soft at the same time. We can always bend them and make wires out of them and they are required to builld the base of all the tall buildings like skyscrapers. And some metals are very precious, not everyone can afford them."

"So?" I asked after hearing a science lecture that I still remembered from when I was in year five.

"So that's just like you!" She exclaimed as if it was obvious. "You are precious, hard to find and not everyone deserves you. You're also strong but weak at the same time just like metals! Oh and the way metals are required to make the base of the tall buildings stable, I need you to keep me stable."

I stared at her appalled and speechless. I had always imagined her to be a naive little girl but she seemed to be even more mature than me.
I knew at that moment, I had the best nick name ever.

"JazakAllah khair." I hugged her gently and kissed her forehead. "I would never mind you calling me Metal again."

She grinned, teeth like white pearls aligned in a beautiful curve. No one could tell that this little girl had lost her mother. She carried herself with so much confidence and soared in the sky, her wings spreading love wherever she went.

If we both were birds, then I was a crow and she was a pigeon.

"If my nick name had such a deep meaning then surely Zara should also have some meaning to it." I said.

Marwa started laughing sheepishly at my comment. "Zara is my cousin from Syria. She is about sheikh's age. Don't tell this to anyone!" She mumbled and leaned in closer to my ear. "Abbi told Zeyara that he should not talk to her because she's not his sister but I caught him talking to her once. He said he would give me everything if I didn't tell Abbi and I agreed."
She retired to her previous position away from my ear. "I keep on calling him Zara to remind him that I still know his secret and I can tell abbi so he better bring me everything I want."
She chuckled as she said the last part.

"Oh...." I gulped the lump of an unknown fear mixed with pain.
So that was what Zara meant.
I wanted to say something but it was way too difficult. I was in a state of bewilderment.

"Come on now! Finding nemo is waiting." She screamed almost bursting my ear drums. Marwa was back to her immature form when she grabbed my wrist and dragged me down to the living room.

I didn't say anything or resist her till she literally pushed me on the sofa. Uncle Suleiman diverted his eyes to me for a brief second and smiled before locking his eyes on the screen again.

It was the same boring news channel and I couldn't care less. It was a political talk show of some kind. I wasn't even looking at the screen but then the host said something which caused my entire attention to be fixed on the TV.

"The supposedly anti terrorism Muslim organisation Alnihayya has claimed that they have evidence of Israeli funding to ISIS. They have summoned a UN conference which will be held this Tuesday.
On this regard, the American president Donald Trump says that;"

And then a video clip of Trump started playing on the screen. The blonde haired president of the States started speaking, "Alnihayya was just an anti terrorist organisation and the whole world along with the USA appreciated it's efforts but now it has shown it's true colours. It is an anti American and anti Israel organisation and I am hundred percent sure that their evidence is fake."

I felt my heart thumping at this. He has clearly rejected the evidence even before it was presented in the UN.
Oh no.
A war is coming. So many people are going to die again.

Trump's clip ended and the host appeared again on the screen. "So that was Mr Trump's statement. Now let's see what our senior analyst Mr. J Roberts has to say on this regard."

"It's crystal clear Martha." Mr. J Roberts began speaking. "You see if the UN rejects the evidence provided by Alnihayya then there will be a blood bath. Israel will be at risk of losing its complete power over Gaza, and other occupied major regions of Palestine. And if that happens, the United States might intervene resulting in something close to a World War 3."

World war 3.

☆

I know it's late but college has started again and my mocks are nearing. 😢
Pardon me!

-Muskaan.