F i f t y
This one is for prncs_of_islam
:)

"I am not this hair.
I am not this skin.
I am the soul within."
-Rumi-

☆

Mashal
Zeyara gathered all the fighters, both male and female in the cavern, two days after everyone had chosen their weapons.
No one had the slightest idea of what he was going to talk about, not even Saddia.

Once everyone had been seated, he began speaking in his inspirational, rhythmic manner.
"Assalam o alaikum. The war is nearing brothers and sisters....and my wife."
Giggles spread across the cavern and heads turned to see me. Zeyara was no longer hiding our marriage. In fact, he mentioned that at every chance he would get. My face flushed red as his eyes met mine.

"In case you're wondering why I only called the fighters and no no one else, it's because you are the ones who are going to suffer the most. You are the ones who are going to be face to face with death. I hope you all have learned to conquer fear by now because, let's face it, fear is your strongest weapon against your opponent. Either make him fear you, or pretend that you don't fear him."

"Your husband is a great speaker." Zara mumbled in my ear, our eyes still fixed on the stage where Zeyara was speaking.
I wanted to reply to her but my lips preferred to be sealed, rather than speaking and missing even a single word that Zeyara uttered.

"MZS was going to lead the male forces and from the females, the woman who would've defeated MZS in a one to one fight would've lead the force. Unfortunately, MZS isn't among us anymore. He's at a much better place and now we will have to select new leaders, one male and one female who will lead the fighters." Zeyara paused, his eyes darting around the cavern, inspecting his audience. His face was covered by the balaclava mask which also extended to his head so not even his hair were visible. "We will use our old infamous way to select those two leaders. Kashf. Whoever desires to lead the forces will go through Kashf, including myself. The last man and woman standing will be the ones to lead the fighters in battle."

"Kashf?!" Zara cried in disbelief, next to me. "He can't be serious."

Not only Zara, the entire audience was glancing around at each other, gasping and ear whispering at the mention of Kashf.

I recalled Kashf to be that hall I had heard someone screaming from, the hall Zara had told me about when I first went to halba. I swallowed the horror in my veins remembering the explanation Zara had given.

"I know why you're all concerned but the truth is that the real battle is going to be twice as worse. Kashf will not only test your fighting skills but also your time management, ability to make decisions and to lead. So whoever is willing to lead the Alnihayya forces, be prepared. Today after isha in sha Allah."

Saying this, Zeyara walked away, leaving the crowd stunned and distressed.

"How can he do that?" Soha dejected, eyes full of anger as we all walked back to Zanjabeel for our regular training session.

"He can." Saddia let out an exasperated sigh. "But I don't think many people will be up for it."

"Why does everyone think of it as difficult?" I finally moulded the courage to ask Saddia once we were back in Zanjabeel. "You can't die there... Right?"

"No you can't." She answered, rather gloomily. "It's all fake, nothing in there is real but it seems so real and people can't handle the shock Mashal. It tests all your weaknesses. I tried it once, failed miserably."

I gave a weak nod even though it was hard to believe that someone as skilled as Saddia couldn't do it.

We continued our normal training. I was running on the track, contemplating whether it was worth going to Kashf or not. Beside me, Zara was running as well, both of us not saying anything while everyone else in Zanjabeel kept talking about Kashf and the challenges it held.

"Hey Mashal!" A girl came up to me, along with two of her friends. I recognised her to be the same girl who had teased and laughed at me a number of times in Khawlah when I couldn't even punch properly.
I stopped running and faced her. "Yeah?"

"He's your husband right? That fake MZS with the face of a burnt kebab?" She said with a sardonic grin, her friends giggling behind her.

I don't know what happened, six women fighters had to pull me off of her and her face was a bloody mess. I had punched right into her face.

"Mashal what are you doing?!" Zara had to shake me to get some sense back into my mind.

"I- I am sorry." I stuttered uncertainly, regret rising in me as I saw the girl's blood on the floor and a few other girls trying to stop the bleeding.

I ran out of Zanjabeel, tears sprinkling out of my eyes and astagfaar on my lips. I hadn't even stopped to think about my fast before punching her. Anger was controlling me.

I went straight to the masjid, cried and cried until I finally had peace.
Before I knew how to fight, I could only scream to express my anger, but now my anger had become lethal. It could do a lot of damage.

That is when I knew I had to go to Kashf. If it really does test one's weaknesses, it will surely test my anger control.

*

I never knew it was going to be such a celebrated event.
Everyone had gathered in the cavern and huge screens were put up, one for each contestant. The people who were not competing would be able to see everything the contestants went through.

The two female seniors Aymur Aga and Maryam Amjad, Saddia, Soha and ten other women including me were going to compete. Zara chose not to go and I completely understood her reason when she said, "Such a lot of struggle for nothing but a worldly concept that doesn't matter at all in the Akhirah. I would rather read Quran during that time."

From the men, almost all the male leaders except for Simayi Wang, the leader from China and Hussain Karim- the Saudi leader were participating.
Instead of competing, both of them took the role of the hosts.

When all the non participants had gathered to spectate in the cavern and all the participants were lined out in front of Kashf, Hussain began speaking. A screen in the halba allowed all the participants to see and hear what he was saying in the cavern.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the final challenge to determine who will lead the male and female forces is about to begin! Kashf has only ever been conquered eleven times in the history of Alnihayya. Ten of those people are our current senior leaders and the eleventh as we all know, the founder of Alnihayya, the highly respected, prestigious Naeem Ansar himself." Cheers and applause erupted as party poppers sent confetti fluttering in the air. The technicians had developed special glow sticks which when pulled, formed holograms of the Alnihayya logo, the red bird in the golden cage. The resulting scene was more of a football match.

"Today not only some of those leaders but also new trainees will be competing." More cheers. "Only two of them will succeed though. One man and one woman. Your task is to survive for three hours. Simple right? No one's going to die, the worst that can happen is a temporary paralysis. May Allah be with you!"

I could hear the uneven thumping of my heart as I glanced around nervously. We were aligned in rows outside the huge gates, all the participants had been given a bag pack with essentials like rope, water, a tent and a torch. On the men's side on my right, my eyes searched for Zeyara. I found him already staring at me. He mouthed a 'best of luck' at me.
I tried to smile back but failed.

How was I supposed to beat Aymur and Maryam-- the female leaders who already had the experience of passing Kashf?

In contrast, Zeyara I knew was going to win for sure. He was the best from amongst the men.

"So...... As soon as the bell rings, Bismillah." said Hussain Karim. "Three- two- one-"

A wild bell rang in my ears as the gates of Kashf opened and the men and women hurried forward into the darkness.
I jogged behind wondering why anyone would willingly want to run into such a frightful place.

My black boots dug into the shockingly soft earth and wind roared into the dark night like a hungry beast, making me tremble with both, cold and fear.

The endless sand dunes told me that I was in a desert. The bluish-purple fabric of sky above was knitted with countless stars but the moon was nowhere to be seen. This immediately gave it away that the ceiling was fake, the whole landscape was fake just like Saddia had told me.

Whether because the others had already hurried away from where I was or because Kashf was designed in a way to keep us all alone, I couldn't see or hear the others as soon as I entered the gate and it closed behind me. The neon green digital timer on my wrist, which every contestant had to wear, showed the time to be 02:59:20. It was the first minute of those three hours.

I hurled out a torch from the side pocket of my bag pack and turned it on to get a better view.
Three hours alone in this desert, the thought shuddered me but it didn't seem too hard. At least there wasn't anything to fight and I was sure I could survive without eating for three hours. What I needed though was shelter and I would be fine.

I pointed the torch ahead of me and it illuminated craggy hills in the distance. I could climb a hill and spend the three hours there. Even if some obstacle comes I would have a better defence being at the top of a hill.

I recited ayat al kursi in a hushed tone before starting my treck. I won't have gone farther than forty yards when an ear piercing howl sent shivers down my spine. My neck rotated to the right and I pointed the torch in the direction of the howl.

A silver-grey wolf, bigger than the biggest dog I had ever seen. The thick pelt of fur around its neck rose and fell as it ran towards me. I stood still, limbs frozen as the distance between me and the aggressive animal kept on decreasing with its every stride.

The beast was less than ten feet away when I realised I would have to do something if I wanted to survive.
I could pull out my gun and fire but we were only allowed one bullet and this was just the beginning. I would rather save the bullet for the worst. The wolf seemed way stronger than me so fighting it was never even an option.

Fear.
Fear is your strongest weapon against your opponent.

I stood still and confident facing the wolf, staring right into its eyes. I sucked in a calming breath before shouting at it. As aggressively and loudly as possible, fiercer than its howl.
"GO!! RUN AWAY."

Mashal you're talking to an animal.
Shut up. I don't have any other option.

Against all my survival instincts, I stepped towards the wolf, still yelling, trying to make it fear me. "I SAID GO!!"

It stopped a couple of feet away, it's yellow fangs glistening in the torch light.
Knowing that animals feared fire, I threw my torch at it, hoping that the light would scare it.

And it all worked out. The wolf watched in horror before turning around and running off in the opposite direction.

Once again, it was just me and the swooshing wind in the desert. I continued walking hastily towards the hills, now more cautious of my surroundings. The strange feeling of being watched grew stronger with each passing second. It was funny how this was all fake and back in the cavern, people were watching me on large screens, as if I was in a movie.

I think I might've walked for a good thirty minutes before I heard the wind change its sound considerably. It seemed like the wind was suddenly all rushing in the same direction. Backwards.

I twirled around in confusion, only to spot a huge brown swirling blur of dust advancing towards me.
Sandstorm.
I panicked, adrenaline rushed to my legs, making me run. My head bobbed backwards after every few feet, but the storm was still chasing me. The distance between us decreasing even though I had been running for quite a while now but the sand dug my feet inside, preventing me from pacing faster.

The desert was infinite without any shelter except for the hills and I knew I wouldn't be able to reach the hills for another hour.

I was tired and thirsty, the storm wasn't going anywhere and I had no shelter whatsoever.

Wait.
I could make my own shelter.

I swung the heavy bag off my shoulder, sunk down to the ground and pulled out the tent cloth that was in the bag. Rolling myself into a ball, I covered myself with the cloth, digging the ends of it into the sand with the tent supports we had been provided with.

The storm hit me with the force of a truck. Dark ash and dust drifted off me, flinging me forward with it. Contrary to my expectations, the tent supports gave up and the cloth flew away. I didn't leave my curled position. The worst I could do was to expose my eyes to the sand and go blind.

It lasted for a good five minutes, tossing me around in the sand before the storm finally passed.

When I opened my eyes, I was no longer in the desert. I was no where. Everything was black except for the neon watch on my wrist. I couldn't even see myself. I took a step, the darkness still prevailed. Boundless, endless darkness, infinite and lurking beyond my vision. I trembled, my whole body started shaking.
"LET ME OUT!" I screamed,

I was dying, the darkness was suffocating. "LET ME OUT!"

If I said it one more time, they would take me out, I would lose. Those were the rules.

I tried holding myself still, telling myself that it was fake but I had always been scared of darkness. Scared that it would envelop me as well.

And then it struck me.
Allah is the Noor (light) of the heavens and the earth.

The verse Ibrahim had recited so beautifully during taraweeh prayer. I sat down, closed my eyes and kept on repeating the words.

Allah is the Noor of the heavens and earth.
And Allah is everywhere, he sees everything. Then how can there be no light when Allah is the one true Noor.

Rabi the only one who is in darkness is the one doesn't have you. Enlighten me, here in this world and when I'm alone in my grave, without any sun or moon.

And for the first time in my life, I wasn't scared of darkness.

The landscape changed again, this time right in front of my eyes. The lights came back on, I was in the cavern but it was empty.

I couldn't understand how the three hours passed so quickly and where everyone had gone.

"Mashal!"

"Zeyara." I turned around joyfully when I recognised his voice. "Where is everyone else?"

Without replying, he walked in closer to me. He was wearing his usual Alnihayya uniform and the balaclava mask. "Your father was a prick. No wonder why his first wife cheated on him." Zeyara laughed.

"Zeyara! Stop it. You're insulting my father." I couldn't believe he was saying that.

"Yeah I am. What would you do?" He chuckled. "Cry? And have you seen your brother? Good for nothing--"

"Zeyara that's enough!" I bellowed at him, my eyes had started watering at the fact that it was all coming from Zeyara's mouth.

"Oooooh! Are you going to cry now? Too sad you don't have a mother to feed you from a milk bottle."

That was it, the breaking point. I couldn't hold myself any longer. Suddenly my fist was slamming into his face. He did nothing to defend himself. My eyes fell on the neon watch on my wrist. I was still in Kashf. This was all fake. This wasn't Zeyara.

"Is that all you got?" He chuckled, stumbling backwards.

My anger was being tested, I needed patience.

"Yes." I chuckled. "You win. I'm too weak to compete."

That's all I had to say and Zeyara's figure disappeared. The scene changed once again. This time it was a plain levelled ground. I was not alone, I could see Aymur and Saddia as well.
They were real, I could tell because of the neon watches on their wrists.

"Congratulations!" Humna's voice echoed. "You are the only three females who have survived this far. Your final challenge is to fight each other off. The one who is left in the end will be the winner."

I gulped, my troubled eyes glancing at Aymur and Saddia. I was clueless about what to do but both of them flung out their guns from their bag.
They had saved the guns for the end as well, just like me.

The problem was, however, each one had only one bullet.

"Guys do we really have to fight?" I asked hesitantly.

"Well honey if you don't want to, you can always shoot yourself and make it easier for me. The bullet isn't going to kill you, just a temporary paralysis." Aymur replied, voice full of mirth.

"Or you could give me your gun Mashal. You know you're going to lose anyways. You can't beat me and Aymur." Saddia suggested.

"I know I can't beat you Saddia but isn't there a way for the three of us to win together?"

"No!" Both of them said at the same time.

"Okay then. You can have my gun." I said out loud, pulling it out of my bag. "Here." I held out the gun in front of me, hoping that my plan would work.

Both Saddia and Aymur glanced at each other before running towards me to get the gun, just as I had imagined.

Saddia picked up a faster pace than Aymur and was about to grab my gun when Aymur shot her from behind. Saddia fell to the ground paralysed.
Now Aymur had no more bullets to shoot me with.
I pointed my gun and shot before she could even understand what was happening.

☆