Two hours later

I chose to wear a lace bra with matching briefs, a light-gray sweater, cropped distressed skinny jeans and a pair of black suede flats.

For a good minute, I watched myself in the mirror. I tilted my head, lifted my chin, and then sighed. Logic was not my forte.

I ran my fingers over my body. I felt intact, nothing was bleeding. Nothing seemed broken. There was a bright but empty look in my eyes. Something was missing. I stared at my sad reflection in the bathroom mirror. The loss of moisture from the skin around my small lips seemed more prominent. Those uneven lips were dry, lacking suppleness and cracked. I allowed myself to smile and the middle crack on my lower lip opened and blood ran on my chin. 

I took a quick step back and slipped because the floor was wet. A cross between a spinning sensation and the feeling that I was falling took over. That heart rate of mine and the blood pressure rose to obnoxious levels while a mixture of fear, anxiety and panic bumped through my veins. It felt surreal. The moment I hit the cold bathroom floor a sudden abdominal pain took me by surprise. It was followed by an unexpected chest pain and I began to vomit something that looked like coffee granules.

A throbbing pain in the front side of my head almost blinded me. There was a tingling sensation, like pins and needles in my hands which moved up my arms before affecting my face, lips and tongue. A thin layer of cold sweat covered my pale skin. I tried to keep myself still.

Failed attempt.

I looked around for a stable object, but somehow I managed to see double of everything, so I closed my eyes and began counting backwards from one hundred.

Coughing gained control over the whole miserable situation. Shortness of breath and chest tightness crashed into me at the same time. As my lungs continued to tighten, I realized I was not going to make it out of it. I knew it was coming, but it still hurt.

Lethargy swallowed me whole and I knew I my time had been cut short. Yet I was fading so slowly. I was unable to speak or move any part of my body.

I looked straight into Elizabeth's eyes. She never left. I looked into her eyes until I knew no more. Maybe I should have accepted her offer. Maybe I should have been smarter.

If I had stayed behind this clear inexplicable calm would be lost. The pain was gone and so was I.