CHAPTER 5

I can't believe this is happening. Why does it feel so unreal? Last night I was talking to Raf, and we shared a kiss, and now I'm stunned with this unexpected news.

That my friend is dead. I don't want to accept it. It seems impossible that an accident like this could happen if Raf was driving—he was always so careful behind the wheel.

I just can't accept it... I'm having a hard time believing that he's really gone. He was my only best friend, and now it feels like they're taking him away from me so suddenly. Only heaven knows how I will survive without him... I will be very sad.

"We brought you here right after you lost consciousness," It was the girl who helped me earlier, speaking softly.

I turned to her. She was sitting on a plastic chair, looking at me with an innocent and gentle expression. She sat upright and her hands resting neatly on her lap.

"T-thank you..." I replied, and my tears welled up in my eyes again.

I sat up and looked directly at her.

"Is it true? Is it really true that Raf is gone? Or could this just be some joke?" I asked, my voice breaking as I cried.

She smiled sadly and nodded slowly.

"Raf was declared dead on arrival when he and his parents were rushed to the hospital," she replied.

The sobs I had been holding back broke free at her words. She moved closer and showed me a picture of the accident. I could only imagine that this was what we'd see on the news, especially since Rafael's family is famous in our barrio.

The front of the car was completely crushed, particularly his seat, and the glass was shattered. I couldn't bear to look at it for long.

"I think you should go home later this evening, Sarah. The reporters might be waiting for you outside."

I nodded unconsciously, my chest tightening with despair. An uncomfortable silence settled between us.

"Or if you want, I can have my driver take you home. He's picking me up too—"

"Oh, you're awake! Aren't you going to come out?" a nurse suddenly interrupted as she entered the room, the tone of her voice sound rude.

We both turned to look at her.

"Ms. Nurse, I think she's not feeling well right now. Perhaps we can stay here for a little longer?" the girl suggested, her tone soft but assertive.

The nurse took a deep breath and placed her bag on the table before leaving.

"I'm Iylla Ein, but you can call me Ei," she introduced herself with a warm smile.

She extended her hand to me. I looked at it for a moment, hesitating before shaking her hand.

"S-sarah. Nice to meet you," I stammered.

"Nice to meet you too!" she replied cheerfully. "Finally, I have a friend now. We're friends now, right?"

"Aren't you embarrassed?" I asked softly, almost in a whisper.

She furrowed her brow in confusion. "Huh? Why would I be?"

I scratched my head nervously. "Well, because I'm dark and not conventionally attractive—"

"Hey, don't ever say that, Sarah. You should love yourself and embrace your flaws. No one is perfect, okay?"

"What do you mean no one's perfect when you look perfect to me?"

She chuckled softly and shook her head. "Even if you think I look perfect, there are parts of my body that I don't like either," she replied.

I fidgeted with my arm, looking for something wrong with her body. Her skin was obviously well cared for—smooth and fair.

"It's already afternoon. Where do you want to eat? Let's go together?" she asked.

"Just in the garden—oh, maybe the reporters are still there."

"Rooftop? I'm friends with the student council president. I can borrow the key from her."

"Yeah, sure."

I stood up and straightened myself. We both left the clinic and walked down the hallway. Everyone seemed to be watching me, likely due to the news about Raf. Most people offered their condolences, and each time I heard those words, I would break down again because Raf was truly gone... I should have told him how I felt... I should have expressed that my feelings for him went beyond friendship.

"Wipe your tears," Ei said gently.

I took her handkerchief and wiped my tears. I even smelled her expensive perfume.

"I know you're really hurt because of what happened to Raf," she said.

I nodded and cried harder as memories of our time together flooded my mind. There were so many joyful moments, and my chest felt tight from the weight of my grief.

Meanwhile, Ei stayed by my side, trying to comfort me.

As I cried harder my chest was tightening to the point I couldn't breathe. I was in shock... This was the most painful experience of my life, especially since we never had a chance to talk one last time. Even a simple conversation or just hearing his voice would have made it easier. Our last meeting last night wasn't enough but deep down, I had a bad feeling this would happen.

"Thank you so much, Ei. I appreciate your kindness," I said gratefully.

"You're welcome, Sarah," she replied with a sweet smile.

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-

When our class ended, Ei offered to take me home since her driver would be picking her up. She mentioned she could drop me off before heading to her condo unit, so I agreed.

"Thank you, Ei," I said, offering her a small smile. I also turned to the driver. "Thank you, Sir. Please drive safely."

"You're welcome, ma'am," he replied.

I waved goodbye and entered my house once their car had left. I hesitated at the gate when I heard my mom arguing with someone again. Sighing, I pushed it open and went inside.

"What did you say?! I thought you paid that debt! Damn it, Hillary. We have so many debts, and now I find out you haven't even settled the one with your mother-in-law!" Mom shouted angrily.

"I used it for my baby's milk, Mo—"

"That's why you're so dumb! If you hadn't gotten pregnant so early, where would you be now? Maybe you'd be abroad, living a good life!" mom shouted.

"Hernand hasn't done anything either! All he does is gamble! Gambling! Can we eat that? We'll starve because of the money you waste on gambling!" Mom yelled at Hernand.

"I win there, Mo—"

"Idiot! You win!? How much did you really win? Ten thousand? If you think how much you bet to get that ten thousand, you're so idiot! Get your act together, Hernand!"

I took a deep breath and stepped further into the house. My mother was panting from all the shouting, while Hitsy sat on a wooden chair, listening to their argument.

They all turned to look at me. Hillary's expression changed as Hernand left the house. Hitsy walked to her room, leaving just me and Mom.

"Drink some water, please. You might get high blood pressure—"

I didn't finish my sentence before she suddenly slapped me. My face turned to the side, and my cheek went numb. I touched it, bewildered.

"Mother... Why?"

SHANGPU