Solum

Latin

Alone

-

so,

all those who had never before tasted wine

fell into hating water

-

Edmund was writing in his journal.
It wasn't a diary, all he wrote it in was his account of the work he had done that day- he always sat up in bed, and wrote it in before sleep.
From the other side of the bed, where Sanya was lying down- like she always was- with Jem asleep between them, he heard her say quietly,  "I know we aren't on speaking terms-"

"You're right."

"But I need to know." She went on as if she hadn't heard what he'd said. "How long is Rabadash staying here? It's been two months."

"Up to Susan, and she likes him, so I don't think we'll be seeing the back of him anytime soon." Edmund didn't like the spoilt and foolish Prince at all, but it wasn't like his sister was going to marry him. Hopefully. If he made her happy- hopefully only as friends- so be it.

"Oh..."

He set his journal down on his bedside table and turned towards his wife, "Why? What's your problem with him?"

"Contrary to your belief, Your Majesty, I do not have a problem with everyone and everything. You're wrong about that." She told him, still quiet- Jem was sleeping- but with much more hostility. "I realise being told you're wrong is something wholly unfamiliar to you- but you should start getting used to it."

"Every word coming out of your-" beautiful "mouth is just making me surer and surer about my decision about our marriage."

"Good for you." She replied patronisingly, turning on her side and away from him. "Also, I'm glad you confirmed what I had suspected for years."

Edmund was unable to control his curiosity and, in spite of himself, asked, "And what's that?"

There was a short hesitant pause before her voice came again, softer, "That I'm not good enough. Never have been, never will be- for anyone or anything. And I'm glad you came to your senses on that. So thank you."

But that's not true, he wanted to say. You've been the most worthwhile thing to me, he wanted to say. You are good enough- actually, you're much more than just good enough to me, he wanted to say.
You're everything.

But he said nothing.

Instead all he said was, "You're welcome," before he turned around to the opposite side and fixed his gaze on the wall.

-

"The Gardens of Cair Paravel truly are exquisite." Rabadash commented as he and Susan strolled through there in the dim light of the moon. "Almost as much as you are."

Susan didn't know why- she had heard similar and better flattery lots of times- but there was something in his words, or his tone, that made her blush. "Oh, please, Your Highness, my beauty is nothing compared to the wonder of these flora."

"You might feel that way, but I do not. It really is quite fitting that you've been given to the Southern Sun- you are as radiant as it." He had memorised these compliments and had practised him beforehand, so the delivery was as smooth as possible. "And you are a woman of charm, and intelligence to boot! Narnia is most fortunate to have you as a Queen."

"I do not feel like I contribute as much as my siblings do." She admitted, her usual reserved nature dissipating as she looked into his mud-brown eyes.

"Perhaps your capabilities are not being indulged to their full potential." He said slyly, looking to her as well.

Her brows furrowed, "Whatever do you mean?"

"Well, there are three other Monarchs here- four, if you count King Edmund's dear wife-"
His nostrils flared a little when he said 'wife'- she had been meant to be his! He had been so embarrassed when word had come from Rihaaya, that their Princess was no longer intended for him.
Still, he had another Queen to woo at the moment.
"And you know, too many cooks spoil the broth- as in-"

"I know what the phrase means." She interrupted him, but politely. "Do go on."

"Maybe your efforts should be redirected somewhere else. Ruling somewhere else." He willed himself not to sweat, but his palms were already moist as they clasped each other behind his back. "With someone else."

Susan caught on to what he meant immediately, and had to work hard to not yell 'no!'
Why, she might like him but she hardly knew him! Not to mention, he was an older man, and she had to speak with her siblings as well. She certainly wasn't going to marry him- not now.

"Oh, that's a very kind offer, but I couldn't bear to leave Narnia and my family right now, I'm afraid." She said kindly, before- for the sake of maintaining a cordial political relationship with Calormen- adding, "I would not be averse to revisiting this matter in the future, some years from now, though."

Rabadash tried his best not to stomp his foot and whine and pitch a fit like a child at her subtle rejection.

"Of course, Your Majesty." He inclined his head gracefully, hiding the outraged look in his eyes. "Do let me know as soon as the occasion arises."

She placed her hand on top of his for a moment and smiled, "You'll be the first to know. Now, you were telling me a delightful story about one of the Tarkheenas yesterday, before we were interrupted."

With an enormous effort, he forced a smile on to his face, "Yes, I was. As I was saying, we were in the city streets and my cousin saw a kitten- small, mangy, ugly thing, should be drowned- and then-"

--

"Get away from my son."

Jem looked away from the wooden sword he was holding and a delighted smile came on his face, "Mumma! Look, I sword fight like Daddy!"

"Hello, Sanya." Rabadash smiled- again, more of a leer- at her. "I was just teaching the young Prince here how to handle a sword."

"I am perfectly capable of teaching him to do so." She forced herself not to growl, going to Jem and tugging him close to her protectively. Neither Tolland nor the fox Karllan were there, having gone hunting.

"Teaching fencing is usually a fatherly duty, I thought." Rabadash didn't back down and bent down to adjust the child's grip. "Or is that another duty King Edmund isn't fulfilling?"

"My husband is a very hands-on parent, not that it's any of your business- nothing about us is." She said frostily, taking away the sword and ignoring Jem's cry of indignation. "We just feel he's too young to learn just yet."

"Age should never be a criterion for anything." The foreign Prince said, his voice going low.

Sanya balled her hands into fists as she stared up at him- she had got so good at repressing everything about him too...
"What do you want? Queen Susan already rejected you, I know, so why are you still around? It's almost December now!"

"You know what I want."

"I am a married woman."

"No one who spends five seconds with you and your husband would think so." He shrugged. "Besides, being married is hardly a good reason to say no to my proposition."

"You're a vile and foolish predator, who deludes himself into thinking he is a man, or worthy of being a Prince. And you're almost a decade older than me, and I hate you. Oh, and you hunt animals in your spare time." Sanya deadpanned. "Those good enough reasons?"

"What's a deludes?" Jem, who had cunningly managed to get his toy sword back from his mother, asked curiously.

"It means to think something which is not real." Lucy came up, hearing this last question. "Who gave you a sword, Jemmy?"

"Rabatrash!"

Despite her internal agony and nerves, Sanya laughed out loud, "Yes, Jem, it was Rabatrash who gave it to you."

Rabadash scowled at her, before giving Lucy a funny little spasm which could've been a bow, before he swept off to go and bother someone else.

"That wasn't very nice of you, Sanya." The young Queen frowned, her dagger at her belt- she had been training.

"Yes, well, sometimes I'm not a nice person." She shrugged, before bending down to look at her son. He was still looking at the sword longingly, and so she said exasperatedly, "Oh, Jemmy, you're too young for a sword! Not till you're five, at the very least."

"But-" His lips began to wobble. He wasn't used to being denied much- nor was he used to his mother speaking to him in such a scolding manner- and it wasn't a pretty feeling.

"I'm sorry, baby sweetling, but no sword fighting till you're older." She said firmly, kissing his hair.
Almost instantly, she felt bad- and, so added, "You want to go on a ride on Lexi? I'll take you to the meadows, we can pick flowers..." She said in a sing song voice.

His green eyes gleamed and his face brightened, "Yes, yes, Mumma! Daddy too!"

Sanya faltered.
"Your- your father's busy." Avoiding me, and showing around the pretty young Countess from one of the Islands in the Eastern Ocean, and no doubt warming her bed later that night. She'd refused to react outwardly to it, though she had hurriedly exited the castle once she had seen the two of them walking down a hallway together.
Oh, the Countess was gorgeous- Sanya herself would've swooned if she wasn't married and jealous- rippling hair of burnished gold, hazel brown eyes and a complexion of roses and honey- and according to Peter, she was of a very affluent background and had a very agreeable personality. 

The perfect mistress, she thought bitterly. It wasn't like she herself had anything to give so that Edmund would stay faithful to her- they even had a legitimate child now, even if he wasn't of their blood, so their marriage was utterly useless. It wouldn't even matter if she died now, the alliance between Rihaaya and Narnia was practically rock solid.

Not that she was going to die because of such a thing.
She wasn't that pathetic.
And- with a little jolt she remembered that she had decided she did not care for Edmund in that way.
Not to mention, she didn't need to prove her worth in relation to any man.
All this torturous angst that seeing him with his new future mistress was causing her- it was all stupid and wrong.
If she didn't care, it shouldn't hurt.

Oh, but it hurt.

"Doing what?" Jem asked, pulling her out of her thoughts.

"He's giving a tour of Cair to the Countess of- oh, I always forget the name of that place- and her name is- oh, my memory is worsening-" Lucy said slowly, a frown appearing on her face.

"Her name is Cassia, Your Majesty." The Countess suddenly appeared with a smile, Edmund in tow and Sanya was reminded of the phrase 'speak of the devil and (s)he shall appear'. "And that is a most adorable child. Edmund, he wasn't on our sightseeing tour."

Edmund? It had taken Sanya almost a year to call him by his name! The Countess had known him half a day!

"That's because he isn't an ornament belonging to Cair, but he is a treasure." Edmund smiled radiantly as he crouched down and Jem went running up to him to be picked up. "Countess, this is my- our-" He gave a quick glance to stony-faced Sanya, "son, James. Jem for short."

"Ah, yes, I'd heard." Cassia smiled brightly at the Queen, who tried to smile back, but it came out as more a grimace. "Well, you two've certainly done yourselves proud." And then, apparently remembering that he wasn't their biological child, added, "He seems a perfect little gentleman Prince."

"He is. Say hello, Jem."

Jem wasn't at all interested in the lady who had fair hair like his uncle, and thus ignored the instruction and exclaimed excitedly to his father, "Daddy, Daddy, Rabatrash gave me a sword! He was teach me, but Mumma said I was too baby."

"He is too baby." Sanya said at once, stubborn. "I mean, too young. He's still a toddler- I was more than twice his age when I started."

"Have to agree, he is too young. Doesn't mean he can't have some fun playing with his dad and a toy sword, though." Edmund said indulgently, and Jem happily flung his arms around his neck and held him tight.

Sanya didn't often have to play the bad parent- usually there was none- and she found that she didn't like it at all. "Well, that's your decision, to agree with Rabadash. Jem and I were going to go riding-"

"I was about to head down to the beach with Her Grace-" At least he didn't call her by name, Sanya thought, and thanked the Heavens for small mercies, "so if Jem wants-"

"Yes, beach! I love the beach!"

"It's winter, Ed, it's too cold by the beach-" Lucy said, seeing her friend's face grow sourer and sourer.

But Jem looked simply crestfallen at not being able to go, and Sanya's heart melted completely and she said, "It's alright, Jem, go and enjoy yourself. I'll wait by the stables later-" She added to her husband blandly, "if you can deign to drop him off there. And don't take him into the waters, I don't want him catching hypothermia or pneumonia."

"I know." Edmund replied, ignoring the discomfited look on Cassia's face for being caught in the crossfire between the married couple. "And I'll bring him to the stables, I am capable of that."

"Good." She said shortly, and leaned forward to press a kiss on Jem's cheek. "See you later, sweetling."

"Bye, Mumma!" He waved joyfully, before his father carried him away.

"Lucy?" Sanya asked a few moments later, seeing the three move further and further away.

“Yes?” Her sister-in-law asked apprehensively, looking at the Rihaayan woman.

"Never get married."

"Oh, I don't plan to, don't worry." She laughed, before becoming serious, "Listen, Countess Cassia isn't any competition."

"I know."

"Oh."

"She's far greater than I am for me to be any threat." Sanya said nonchalantly before remembering again that she did not like Edmund and had no reason to be jealous. Heavens, she needed a brain transplant. "Not that I care. Your brother can make her his mistress- even his concubine, if he so wishes."

Lucy stared for a moment before laughing so hard she doubled over, "I- pictured- Edmund- with- I- oh my Aslan- a concubine- I'm- going- to- die- of- laughter-"

"Why is that so funny?" Sanya asked in an offended tone. "It's been common in history for Kings to have-"

"Kings, yes, but not Edmund." Lucy chuckled. "We were all brought up with very prim and proper ideals- and now, despite all four of us having lost our chastity to various humanoids, those ideals remain. Edmund will never have a mistress- it would be too much work, for one, but also because that goes against his morals."

"Lots of moral fibre in your brother, then. My moral-minded husband." She snorted, though admiring the knowledge about him. Not for the first time, she felt immeasurably grateful that the man she had married was someone as kind and honourable as Edmund. "Trapped in a loveless and sexless marriage, yet he won't take someone to fulfil those comforts because it goes against his values. And then there are some who don't care about or respect the sanctity of marriage, just because they have an itch which remains unscratched."

"Erm...you lost me halfway."

"Don't worry about it." She smiled at her. "I ramble nonsensically quite a lot of the time."

"Yes, I know- but it didn't seem very nonsensical." Lucy frowned. "Sanya, are you sure there's nothing the matter with you?"

"Absolutely." She smiled again, forcing it to be convincing. "I'm alright."

-
-✧･: °*✧*°:･✧-
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Ana De Armas as Countess Cassia

Countess Cassia doesn't appear in the story anymore, but I just really like looking for fancasts, and I wanted to give a face to her. And Ana De Armas is stunning, and I can totally imagine Sanya swooning over her (much like I did whenever I first saw her in that Diamonds ad)

If you're seeing this, I humbly and unashamedly beg you to vote on the chapters, please.