Tutis

Latin

Safe

-

yet my tongue

freezes

and

beneath my skin a fire rages

and...

my eyes are empty but

my ears are full.

-

Trigger warning: implied mention of past attempted abuse later in chapter

-

"What's wrong, Ed? You never call meetings." Lucy asked, both worried and confused as she and her siblings joined Edmund in one of the council rooms later that day, long after the joyful and tearful (though none would admit it) reunions had subsided.

He looked confused and accordingly made a face, "I always call meetings."

"Actually, you always tell me to call meetings, you very rarely call them yourself." Peter shrugged, taking a seat. "Seriously though, what is it? I thought you said the situation with the giants was under control as of now."

"It is." He assured them. They had elected not to go and storm the giants' shelter, for the mountainous terrain was very difficult to travel through, and fighting giants in their natural habitat? Not a good decision. If the giants did cause any chaos, or if they descended into the area of Ettinsmoor which was Narnian territory, it would be war.

"Then what?" Susan asked, looking to him.

"Some hags and banshees are looking to resurrect the White Witch." He said, half sheepishly as he knew how it would be taken.

"Oh, for Aslan's sake."

"We literally just destroyed her a year ago!"

"Well, Sanya did, but yes- it's getting annoying now."

"It's not that because of that plan that I called this meeting." Edmund said, exasperated. "They want fae blood- maybe even royal fae blood- and godly blood too. I was thinking they wanted the Faerie Queen- but then I remembered she's well protected and isolated in Neráida. So-"

"Jem- oh, and Sanya too." Lucy ended, looking grave and worried. "But they're safe here- aren't they?!"

"Yes, Lu, they are." Peter said comfortingly, shooting his brother a look for frightening their baby sister.

"What else did you learn?" Susan asked, after putting her arm around Lucy's shoulder.

"Well- they need these two kinds of blood because they don't have her wand. If they had her wand, all they would need is human blood- and not even pure human blood- to bring her back, fully corporeal."

"Thankfully, we have her wand very much locked up and secure." Susan said at once, looking to Peter for confirmation and he nodded. "What else?"

"Nothing, then I got attacked and chased off by about a hundred vultures, who followed me until I was starting to approach Cair." The Just shrugged, and gestured to his new and clean bandages. "These aren't just for show, you know."

"I thought they were to impress Sanya." Peter said teasingly, and his sisters chuckled.

Edmund, however, glared fiercely.
"I have no inclination towards impressing her, not anymore. I've had time to think, and I know now that this whole marriage was awful and I consider it to be an insult to be her husband."

"Eddie, I ask this in the kindest and most loving way possible, but what the hell is wrong with you?" Susan asked, her face turning scary.

"Nothing in this regard, Su, except that I'm finally becoming logical like you. And don't call me Eddie, Susie."

She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Oh, but she- Sanya, I mean- she has f-" Lucy started but was immediately silenced by his hand.

"Please, Lu, I don't want to hear."
Of course he didn’t want to hear! He had resolved and he meant to keep his heart forever withdrawn and locked up, far away especially from Sanya Reza- Pevensie, so that he would never again feel the fear and pain that came with the hope of giving it to someone.

"We'll double security around Jem and Sanya when they're in the grounds, and have guards stationed outside your bedroom. And- well, Sanya was saying that you'd wanted Jem to be shifted to his own bedroom when he turned three- which he is now, so-" Peter started hesitantly.

"No, no, not anymore. He stays with us." He said decisively. "I want one of the four of us with him at all times."

"Five of us." Lucy corrected. "Surely his mother is the most appropriate person for protecting him!"

"Not to mention, she has water powers and is wicked good with a sword." Peter added.

"Of course she's part of it, I didn't think I needed to say it." Edmund made a face at them. "But still- she might be in danger too, and it wouldn't be conducive to the union between our countries if she's killed, you know."

"Just say you don't want her to die, Ed." Susan rolled her eyes, Peter quite sympathising with her. "Well, is that all? Because I've still got some details about a very special birthday ball to finalise."

Lucy beamed- it was her eighteenth birthday in two days and she was beyond excited about it.

"Right, yes, I have a question about the Ball." Edmund began, apparently very serious.

"What is it?"

"Do I have to attend?"

-

"Can I ask why you've been following me around since July?" Sanya turned and frowned down at the tiger who dogged her every step. "I've been patient for- for one whole month now, but it's too much."

"My apologies, Your Majesty, but it was King Edmund's wish and command that you have someone with you at all times- for your protection." The tiger, Tolland, said earnestly.

"Protect- I'm just going to get my son a glass of milk! Not to mention, I can take care of myself quite well, as His Majesty knows." Oh, drat her husband. She was sure he'd chosen an animal for her guard because she wouldn't be able to bring herself to be rude to them. She couldn't believe she'd ever entertained the notion that she could have feelings for him! She was an utter moron, that was well and truly confirmed.

"I offer my sincerest apologies, my Queen, but I cannot flout King Edmund's decree."

"Well-" She was starting to rather like the feline creature, so the company didn't bother her too much, but she liked her solitude. She didn't want to lose that! "Can you at least tell me why His Majesty has sent a guard-dog- well, guard-cat after me?"

"I am not privy to that information, I'm afraid." The tiger said, licking her paw. "I understand your irritation- some of us cats too are usually solitary animals, but keeping you safe is the duty I have been given and I will do it."

Ugh. Duty. She truly loathed that word now. It was because of that simple word, that she was being caused so much pain- granted, she wasn't showing the pain- apart from a small blubbering session in the bath and being even more aggressive during training (none of the fauns wanted to spar with her, and hence she had to continue with her decimation of dummies) and nor was she acknowledging it most of the time, but still. Physical pain she could deal with just fine- but emotional pain wasn't even a quarter as easy to handle. And she didn't have much practice with the latter either.

"It's alright." She attempted to smile. "Just- don't bother me much."

"I shall try my best." Tolland bowed her head. "If it helps, my brother Salland has been assigned to guard duty of Prince James."

Sanya's eyes widened, "Oh, no! Jem is scared of cats- especially big ones- for some reason."

"Oh- oh, then I shall get a fox to be with him instead." Tolland said, looking panicked.

"Yes, that's better." She nodded, relaxing a little and remembering the milk bottle. "Well, after you."

"I'm meant to guard you, so I must walk behind you."

She refrained from rolling her eyes with great difficulty, only saying, "Right. Come on, then, behind me."

And as soon as she'd started walking, with her back turned towards the felid, she did roll her eyes.

--

"Don't get angry, Peter-"

Peter's eyes instantly narrowed. Susan never had cause to say this to him- Lucy usually did, and Edmund had very many reasons to say it, but never did.

"What did you do, Su?"

"Well, you remember the letter I was writing?" Susan asked hesitantly.

"What letter?"

"The one I wouldn't tell you about."

"Oh, that letter." He nodded intelligently. "What about it?"

"It was to Prince Rabadash, of Calormen- we met when I went to visit Corin, he was a guest there-"

"Please don't tell me you're betrothed to him or something!" Peter was aghast- why, oh, why was all this happening to him? Prince Rabadash had a reputation of being very silly and very haughty.

"Of course not." His sister scowled at him. "But we did get to talking- and he isn't as bad as some people say. He didn't flatter me about my looks once-"

"He was just being sly, to get into your good graces." He crossed his arms, seeing past the Prince's ploy. He was surprised Susan hadn't. "But what about him? Why would I be angry?"

"Well, I might have mentioned a few letters ago that I'd be delighted to entertain him at Cair, and-"

"Spit it out, Su."

"It seems he's accepted the invitation."

"So much for being logical, Susan!" The eldest Pevensie frustratedly ran his hands through his hair. "Oh, for- well, when's he coming?"

If possible, her face turned even guiltier. "Actually...he's already here."

--

Sanya was so shocked at the sight in front of her that she forgot her usual awkward politeness, "What are you doing here?"

Prince Rabadash turned and gave her a smile, which was more like a leer, "Why, hello, Princess Sanya."

Her jaw clenched, but she managed to speak, "Answer my question."

"Ah, let me admire you first, Princess. You've truly grown up- all curves and breasts and hips now- not that you were exactly underdeveloped before. Not pleased to see your ex-fiancé?"

"You were never my fiancé." She hissed at him- Tolland growled beside her and the Calormenian looked at the tiger nervously.
It must be said, however, that her words were not technically completely true. "And I'm no longer a Princess, thus I outrank you. So answer my question."

"My dear friend Queen Susan-" the Savage Queen, Rabadash mentally giggled to himself, "invited me to visit her beautiful home. And I, of course, jumped at the chance- and it has been quite a few years since we've seen each other, hasn't it?"

"Thankfully. You tried to- you almost-"

"All that happened was that I wanted was a kiss, and you overreacted."

"I was thirteen years old- and I was alone in my bedroom at night." She always blocked out that incident, always. She hated it, she'd hated how scared she had felt. She herself repressed that- that memory, never wanting to think of it. She hadn't thought about it in so long. "It wasn't just a kiss you wanted."

"Well, you were going to be my wife, I just wanted a little advance on the benefits." He shrugged. "But, as it appears, it's King Edmund reaping those benefits now. You do let him bed you, or do you slash at him with a sword too?"

"You should be glad I don't have my sword right now." She glared fiercely at him, hiding the chill she felt within herself. "Leave."

He raised a dark eyebrow at her, before laughing his stupid and affected laugh, "That's hilarious, truly. I'm not leaving, little girl, just because you told me to."

"I'll have you thrown out-"

"And what reason would you give, pray tell? You can't bring yourself to tell anyone about our dalliances- or our relationship-"

"We didn't dally and we do not have a relationship!" She shouted, her heartbeat going dangerously high before she heard voices behind her, and she forced herself to swallow and calm down.

"Mumma, why you yelling?" Jem, holding Edmund's hand, asked curiously as he reached his mother.

"I- I-" She gave the smarmy-looking Rabadash a quick glance before looking at her son and picking him up in her arms. She needed to hold him. "Prince Rabadash had some problems with the hearing in his ears, I was shouting to see if he could hear properly now."
Her lie was idiotic, but children would believe anything, and her husband didn't care anyways.

"Welcome to Cair Paravel, Your Highness." Edmund ignored his wife completely, instead stepping towards the foreigner and extending his hand to him, diplomatic as always. "I hope you will find your stay delightful."

Rabadash smugly looked at Sanya for a quick, imperceptible second before turning back to her husband, smiling even wider, and saying, "I have no doubt I will. Now, where be Queen Susan?"

--

"Hey- why're you hiding out here?" Lucy asked softly as she approached her sister-in-law, who was stood in the balcony, eyes glued to the waves below her. "Is everything alright?"

Sanya turned in surprise and worry, but her face relaxed when she saw who it was, "Oh, yes- it's all fine. I'm just- not up to social interaction. There's a lot many people here."

"Animals too, Your Majesties." Tolland interjected, her head on her paws. She quite liked the fact that she didn't have to run after Sanya much- she might be a tiger, part of a mighty predator species, but she still got tired.

"Yes, them too. Edmund's not enjoying his birthday ball." The younger Queen giggled. "I think he's about to make some excuse on Jem's behalf and escape to his room."

"I understand that." Sanya laughed quietly, doing her damnedest best to not think of Rabadash- who was still here, even after almost a month of his arrival, having wormed his way into Susan's affections. "I don't- I don't suppose he's mis- asked for me? This evening? Or any other day?"
It was almost astonishing how pathetic she sounded.

"He- he doesn't really mention you, sweetie." Lucy rubbed her arm soothingly. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright." She smiled at her kindly. "Probably a good thing that I didn't ask you to look after Jem for tonight, I don't think he would look upon birthday sex very favourably at this time."

Lucy squirmed a little- it was her brother being talked about, after all- before shrugging, "He is a man, though."

Sanya smirked, always enjoying to tease, "You don't have to remind me of that fact twice."

"Ugh, Sanya, that's disgusting." She made an appalled face. "Kindly avoid talking about your relations with Edmund in front of me, his little sister."

"No promises." She shrugged in a non-committal manner before adding hastily at the look on her friend's face, "I'm joking, Lucy, I swear."

"It's fine, just a bit icky." She waved her off. "Now tell me, why are you hiding out here?"

"I told you, I'm not feeling up to socialising." She repeated, and for good measure, also said, "I think I'm getting a headache."

"Hm." Susan would be able to tell if that was a lie, Lucy thought- Sanya was too good a liar for her to be able to see through the lies. "Let's say I believe you. Will your headache be able to handle my presence here?"

Sanya laughed, sitting down on the comfortable stone floor of the balcony, and Tolland lifted her great head onto her lap, "My headache would be delighted at the company."

"Are you calling me a headache too?" Her sister-in-law raised an eyebrow at her but sat down as well.

The Rihaayan Queen shrugged, stroking the content tiger's orange fur, "Take it however you want it."

"I take it as an insult." Lucy said primly before sticking her tongue out at her.

-
Shahid Kapoor as Prince Rabadash

-

-✧･: °*✧*°:･✧-
-

I know people have a lot of different Rabadash fancasts, but I wanted my version to be a little weaselly, but rather fox-faced too, with a cunning look but silliness in his face as well and I thought of Shahid Kapoor (in Padmavaat, in particular) and it fit well!!!

If you're seeing this, I humbly and unashamedly beg you to vote on the chapters, please. (Yes, this will now be my customary ending to every chapter, because yes, I AM that pathetic)