05th March 2022,

Well, this week hasn't been easy even the slightest bit. One would assume that it would get easier after a while, but through first-hand experience, I can tell - with a heavy heart - that it never does get any easier.

It was supposed to be a good night for Astrid but shit just loves to hit the ceiling all the damn time and that's exactly what happened.

She had not been to a single party ever since we had gotten together and I had been after her for a while now, telling her that it would be good for her to go to a party. But Astrid told me that she did not really enjoy partying - which I knew was a lie. She just wanted to keep me company but she was too nice to admit that.

But this time, I had finally managed to convince her to go. It was a party thrown by two of the loudest people who really knew how to throw a party. It was the Collin siblings' spring bash. And after a lot of persuasion, she finally agreed to go.

There were of course a lot of "you're really alright with being at home alone?" "I could stay with you if you want me to" but eventually, she went. It was around nine PM when she left and she told me that she'd be home around 3 AM in the morning.

I told her that I'd be waiting for her. She kissed me slowly.

And with that, she left. In a golden spaghetti A-line frock and silver heels, she looked as beautiful as ever and I was once again struck by her beauty.

I had spent my time making Astrids' favourite foods in the kitchen - knowing very well that there was a possibility she wouldn't eat them. And when I was finished with that, I decided to binge-watch some Marvel until she got back home.

It was exactly 1.46 AM in the morning when my phone rang, rousing me from my deep slumber. The movie was paused in a very odd frame but I did not have the time to ponder too much about it as I picked up the call without checking out the caller ID.

The first thing I heard when I picked up was sniffling and I asked almost on instinct, "Baby?"

She whimpered as she asked me in a tone I hadn't heard her use quite a lot before, "Can you come and pick me up, Cal?"

"On my way there, love," I told her as I took the flannel shirt off the hook of the door.

I didn't drive the car often. It probably had to do with the fact that I was underage even though I knew how to, but I had never really gone to pick Astrid up from anywhere with a vehicle before. Didn't have to do with the fact that I was nervous. Nope.

But either way, I had to pick her up from the twins' place. And I had a car.

I had taken a while in the garage, debating with myself about whether I should do it or not until I remembered Astrids' voice in my head asking her to pick me up and decided to do it as Astrid would.

'Fuck this' I muttered as I stepped on the gas and sped away.

It took less than ten minutes to reach the house but man, even from miles away I could hear the base of the music thump the whole car. I pulled over right on the opposite side of the road and climbed out.

Almost as soon as I did, before I could even realise what was going on, a slender pair of arms held me tightly around my waist. I might have screamed if it were anyone else but I'd recognise Astrid and her brown hair and its cookie scent even if he were blind.

"Astrid," he sighed into her shoulder as he hugged her tighter, "you alright, princess?"

When she pulled away, I swore my heart broke into a million little tiny pieces. She had tears in her eyes and a drop rolled down her cheek from the corner of her eye. All the kohl she had put in her eyes was smudged everywhere and that beautiful golden frock was discarded in her arm - wet - and instead she wore a red dress I had never seen before.

"Sweetheart, what happened?"

She looked around nervously and then asked me, "Can we get into the car first?"

"Of course, mon cherie," I told her and let her climb into the backseat.

Once we were in, she began her tale and I swear, I had never been more frustrated and on the verge of bash someone's head into their skull by the end of it. I gripped the door of the car so tightly Astrid had almost begged me to drive her home.

And now, to narrate why I had been so livid.

She had gone to the party and it was all merry. Not many knew about us and at the same time, it wasn't that people did not know about us either. It was really great at the start, she said, because she was drinking cranberry juice and it was really fun. Playing Mario Kart, dancing to the music. And then when it turned midnight, in came Ryan. And that's when all hell broke loose.

One of Ryan's friends brought booze and soon, everyone was drunk. Ryan especially more so.

She had tried everything to avoid him. Hanging out with other girls, talking to different people, dodging him all night but worse came to worse and they met in front of the pool just because she hadn't been paying attention to him for five seconds.

He had insulted her. Called her a slut.

And dear god, I was so close to running him over my car in my rage. But she wasn't going to give up. She screamed at him for good to leave her the fuck alone.

And then, he had the fucking audacity to splash the drink in his hand over her fucking gown. That wasn't the end, by the way. He said, "Now, you look like you - wet and needy."

I couldn't hold my shit together anymore. I was storming out of the car, ready to throw all fists even if Ryan would've beaten me into a pulp. Because nobody. got. the. fucking. right. to. talk. to. my. girlfriend. like. that.

But Astrid. God, Astrid, why did she have to be so good, it irked me sometimes. She held me back and asked me to just drop it and take her home.

All the way back, I was fuming. I was so snarky and was ready to backlash curses to the next decade but all went down when I noticed how tired she looked in the backseat. So, after we reached, I took her to our bed and put her down to sleep.

Right before she fell asleep, she made me promise to not go after Ryan for her sake.

This was my attempt at trying to calm myself down but shit is not working. I can't let something like that go just like it is.

You know what? I'll see you next time with updates about how hard I punched Ryan and just how bad my own bruises are.

Ciao,
C.A.L.