[ beep beep beep ]

Hey Anne,
It's almost been two weeks since I
last did this.

chuckles

Still feels like it's been a whole month though.

These few days have been- a lot.
Simply put, it has been a whole lot.
I've had so many sleepless nights and so many times
That I've just randomly fallen asleep
Through various times of the day just because of the
Exhaustion.

I guess, Ryan got to know about
Cal and me and really,
he is a sore fucking loser.

Like I swear- he's on the end of my nerves.

He called me up. A couple of days ago,
I was on a date night with Cal. Watching Frozen again.
I ignored him the first time around but
he wouldn't let me ignore him and called me up again.

I picked up the call.
And boy, do I regret it really.
That son of a bitch, called me just to
Insult me and then proceed to insult Caelum.

I was beyond livid, truthfully.

Like really. Really. How fucking low
could a man be to call his ex and insult her for moving on?

And Anne - Anne, you wouldn't believe it.
I punched a hole in the bathroom wall because
I was so livid after the call.
He had completely shattered me and I really did not have
the mental endurance to live with his bullshit
again.

It had been more or less the same every night.
But I had blocked his number and it wouldn't go through,
so, instead, he sent me messages
through his social media by posting things calling me out.

I said not a thing about it to
Cal, I didn't want to upset him anymore.

Anne, you should've seen the comments
and all the hate everyone was throwing at me.
There were but a few that supported me.

None of my friends said a thing about it.
Either to me or against me,
And to be honest, I don't blame them
For not wanting to be in this drama.

But I know you would've supported me and
Been there for me.

I know you would.

It really did hurt me, but I refused to
say a single thing. I just gave up at that point.

Ryan Stelberg was nothing more than an immature,
arrogant, sore loser and a jerk.

I can not believe that I was obsessed
with him once.
It's humiliating and disgusting to think
That I loved him when he was always such a-
Self-important jerk.

Anyways, the next week had basically been the same
watching hate comments about me during
the day times and at other times
just trying to not think about it.

Two days ago, Caelum had finally managed
to convince me to go to the Collin twins' Spring Bash
and though you've never been to one
You already know from my previous narrations
That these things can go completely out of hand.

And this time, it did.

Everything was perfect before midnight.
I was having fun with Johanna,
the girls and I were playing truth or dare
and Johanna's devil twin and his best friends
were nowhere to be seen.

Then the bell struck twelve.

And in came the boys,
loud and causing a lot of ruckus
completely drunk,
and with a lot of booze in their hand.

I spend most part of my time avoiding
Ryan, because I had vowed that
I would not let Ryan Stelberg
ruin my night this time.

One moment I had not spent avoiding him
and the next thing I knew,
he had cornered me at the pool.
Drunk conversations had never been a
good experience with me
And that was one thing that had not changed.

One thing led to another, next thing I knew,
he had splashed his drink on me and called me a slut.

Ryan called me a slut.

Anne, he called me a slut.

Can you believe that?
Like even for a moment?

He cheated on me, not once, not twice,
but almost seven when we were together for
eight months.
And then, he has the nerve to call
me a slut?

That's quite rich coming from him.

After a bit of degradation,
it had gotten to the point where I was exhausted
of all the hate he had
been through this entire time.

The entire debacle had me turned into
a screaming, sobbing mess.

I had called Cal to come to pick
me up as I changed into one of Johanna's old
garments everyone had seen her wearing
Quite a few times before
but it wasn't as though I had another choice.

Eventually, Caelum got me home.

And I had gotten Caelum to promise me
that he wouldn't go after Ryan.

But even then, I could see the way Cal was
seething with anger.
I told him I needed time to rest,
he respected my wishes and stayed away.

At some point, I picked up the phone
and I could not stop rewatching
that I was the top trending on the internet.

The short of the wine going splash into
me was trending everywhere.
I cried myself to sleep.

I think that had been the worse I had
felt in my entire life ever.

When I woke up, I heard Caelum pulling in
and I knew that something was wrong.
I was waiting by the kitchen door
and I swear Anne, the fight that we
had after, was even worse
than what I felt when I had seen that video
of myself that was trending.

He said that he had called the basketball team
up, and they had beaten up the boys.
He did not hesitate or lie about it.

And I had asked, how he was any better than
Ryan who had been abusing me mentally
and verbally.

He looked so hurt,
I had never seen Caelum that hurt.

He said he was defending me.
Because what Ryan told about me wasn't just
a shitty thing to say because
it was me. It was a shitty
thing to any person.

I said I didn't need defending.

Shit escalated fast.

Pretty soon, everything was a blur of
tears and screams.

He was mad because I hadn't
Tell him about the bullying online.
I was completely livid because he had lied to me,
and attacked Ryan and his buddies
after he had promised that
he wouldn't go.

Eventually, I was crying because that's what I
had always done best. Cry about my problems.

And Caelum couldn't take it any longer.

He held me tight and he apologized
for having broken his promise.
But he made it crystal clear that
he did not regret hitting Ryan. Not one bit.

And truth be told,
I hated the fact that he had hurt Ryan
after he promised he would not.
But I think deep down I was a bit
satisfied that he did.
Ryan really did break me.

Though we had resolved everything by talking it out
after, I told him I needed a bit of time.

And I headed for my own house.

The weekends were spent at my place.
And I studied most of my time,
I had to catch up with my studies anyway.

One very odd thing about life was
when you expect things to be going terribly
and they are,
unexpectedly good things might come your way.

I had made a new friend online,
we exchanged IDs and talked quite a bit.

Tara was her name, and
she lived in India.
We had a good time bonding
Because she was one of the only people
supporting me even when my own
friends did not.

Oh shit, I forgot I left the cookies baking,
I'm not good at cooking but
I've been lending a hand to hermana.

See you next week?

Love ya!

[ beep beep beep ]