17) My Heart And I Don't Get Along




Hermione stared at Theodore Nott's proffered hand and shot a quick glance over to Malfoy. Malfoy sat frozen in his seat as though someone had petrified him. She looked back at Nott, trying to decipher why, after so many weeks, he had suddenly decided to approach her.

She didn't exactly remember Theodore Nott over the years, but she was fairly certain he used to be extremely thin and retiring in personality. He had come across as rather faded and wilted, like a cut flower left out in the sun. She didn't think she'd ever heard him speak aside from when he'd dueled Neville.

Presenting seemed to have gone extremely well for him. Dark hair, dark eyes, his features had squared and he'd gone from extremely forgettable to rather attractively memorable. He had a cheeky confidence that had been distinctly absent before.

"Hello, Theo. I'm Hermione." She shook his hand and gave him a pointed look. "We've been attending school together for the six years."

Theo looked relieved that she'd accepted the handshake and didn't seem at all abashed by her reproach.

He grinned as he shook her hand warmly. "I know. I've fancied you for about four years. Not constantly, but rather recursively."

Hermione stared in astonishment and Theo's smiled grew slightly crooked. "Unfortunately there never seemed to be an appropriate time to do anything, what with my father being a Death Eater and all."

Hermione kept shaking his hand up and down as her brain short-circuited slightly.

"You're joking," she finally managed.

"No. He really was a Death Eater." Theo nodded with an expression of false solemnity and seemed thrilled by the fact that Hermione was still holding his hand.

Hermione felt her face grow red and drew her hand away. "I know—about your father. I didn't—I meant about me."

"Oh that part's true too. You have been unknowingly responsible for one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. I was so upset at one point that I challenged Viktor Krum to a duel, but I was really nervous and he couldn't understand what I was saying. I was very short back then and had a god-awful nervous stutter, and when I managed to explain that I wanted to duel him for getting you put under the Great Lake, he laughed and said that Hermy-own wouldn't approve of him dueling first years." Theo's face grew abruptly red and he clapped his hands over his mouth. "I did not intend to admit that. Oh god."

He gave a deep sigh.

"Right. I should probably just mention now, in case you somehow haven't noticed, I'm a nervous talker. I have been overthinking this conversation for months now and I've already derailed it. Please, feel free to hex me at any time."

Theo dropped his head into hands and took several deep breaths as though trying to contain the nervous energy that he was practically vibrating with.

Hermione glanced toward Malfoy and noticed that his head was turned just enough to be able to watch her and Theo from the corner of his eye.

Interesting.

She looked back at Theo. "You've been thinking about this conversation for months?"

His head popped up from his hands and he looked over at her. "Well, I heard you and Weasley had broken up. And the matter of my father was finally dealt with, so—it seemed like the year to introduce myself rather than just admiring you a la distance, but you were uncharacteristically flighty at the start of the school year. Then you vanished for a week and walked into the Great Hall as—" he had the sense not to say the word aloud in a classroom and merely eyed Hermione, "—and it ruined my elaborate plan to finally introduce myself because suddenly everyone was doing it."

Theo looked extremely chagrined. "It didn't help that you and Draco apparently have some sort of thing going on. He's one of my oldest friends, and I'm not the sort who tries anything with my mate's girlfriend."

"We're not—we aren't dating," Hermione clarified hurriedly. "It's nothing like that."

Theo nodded. "He mentioned that. I've tried interrogating him several times and all he'll say is that it's not a relationship, you just have some kind of arrangement. Which, to be honest, sounds like blackmail. If he's blackmailing you, I'll gladly volunteer to murder him. And if you're blackmailing him, well, honestly why?"

Blaise Zabini's shoulders appeared to be shaking with laughter. Hermione stared at Theo incredulously. "No one is blackmailing anyone," she snapped in a low voice. "And if either of us were, do you think I'd admit it to you when he's sitting five feet away?"

"No. But it's really pissing him off." Theo's eyes were glinting again.

Hermione looked toward Malfoy. He appeared to be reading.

"He is?"

"Hard to believe, I know. I'm sure you remember how overdramatic he used to be. He milked that scratch on his arm from the hippogriff for six months. Now, someone could stab him and he'd probably sit and finish whatever he was doing before walking to the hospital ward. Terrible timing, presenting a month after the war, when he was on trial."

Hermione studied Draco. The thing about presenting for Alphas was that it tended to bring out distinct aspects of their personalities. The books discussed it; current stresses and things they wished to be true tended to manifest as dominant traits.

Malfoy's trial had just finished around that time. She wasn't sure whether sentencing had happened. He'd been facing ten years in Azkaban. The situation had to have had a profound effect on how he'd presented. It would explain his almost supernatural level of self-control.

"So that's Malfoy really pissed off?" She stared doubtfully at Malfoy's indifferent-seeming back.

"We've known each other since we were in nappies. Speaking with the authority of someone who spent seventeen years with, I am told, the social personality of a beige wall, and who has therefore gotten in the habit of watching everyone else; he's probably going to punch me later."

"Why?"

"Well, he's scent-marked you in a very 'go near her and I'll murder you' kind of way. So my general proximity is one reason. Also, asking if he was blackmailing you. Not to mention I am a nervous fountain of information about him. You could probably easily convince me to tell you anything about him that you wanted to know, and he is fully aware of that."

Hermione glanced over toward Draco again, her eyes narrowed and calculating. "Anything I wanted to know?"

"Probably. There are certain things I can't tell you, bonds of brotherhood and whatnot. But yes, I'll be particularly generous with you, for the obvious biological reasons. But also because he's been a complete arse for the last month and I'm fairly certain that he at least suspected my crush, but he didn't even see fit to mention to me that he was going to get into a casual relationship with you. And finally, because that tosser broke into my trunk and stole my books."

Theo's tone had remained light, but there was a faint edge of resentment that surfaced as he stared at the back of Malfoy's platinum head.

Hermione wondered exactly what kind of feud she found herself in the middle of.

Theo glanced back at her and laughed faintly. "Don't worry. I'm not going to sabotage whatever it is you're doing. But I am a Slytherin, I'll take the opportunities that come. I was going to wait, but since your—whatever-it-is with him is an ongoing thing, I decided it was time to make some kind of move."

What might have been said next was lost as Professor Dawlish strode in and class began. Theo opened his books, pulled a pair of reading glasses out, and didn't bother Hermione again.

While Dawlish was teaching Hermione took absent-minded notes while turning Theo and Draco over in her mind.

Theo had had a crush on her? The claim seemed somewhat dubious.

It was hard to trust any Alphas when there was a constant doubt in the back of her mind that it was all a ruse; charm like a sheepskin hiding a waiting wolf.

Theo was cunning. The observant type.

She was fairly certain that mentioning Krum had been entirely intentional. He was giving her a reference, an old friend that she trusted. She could write Krum and ask if a weedy-looking Slytherin with a stutter had ever tried to challenge him to a duel because of her. 

She looked at Theo from the corner of her eye and calculated the risk-reward ratio of accepting his overtures of "friendship."

When class ended Draco stood up sharply and then froze, Hermione got struck in the face with his pheromones and it made her mind blank slightly. Theo chuckled faintly beside her but she barely registered it.

Draco stood, and his fingers tapped slowly across the desk as though he were in thought. Then he shoved his notes and books into his bag, and strode out without a backward glance.

Hermione tried to ignore the immediate stab of hurt, and looked down quickly to gather up her notes and Arithmancy presentation and pack them into her satchel. Malfoy hadn't even looked at her when she'd been speaking about their Arithmancy project. Dawlish been dismissive because she and Malfoy hasn't yet figured out a curse-breaking formula; he hadn't cared much about the complexity or detail of the equation they'd crafted so far. There was no love lost between the former auror and herself, or Malfoy; though he was a decent defense professor.

As Hermione slung her bag onto her shoulder and turned to go her eyes landed on Theo, who was looking at her over the top of his reading glasses with a thoughtful expression. Hermione stopped short and stared down at him.

"I haven't decide what I think you, Nott," she said. "All the Alphas have some kind of excuse for why they never had the time to so much as acknowledge my existence for the last seven years. You've just added yourself to that list. I've dealt with a lot this year and I really don't have time to deal with any boys who will stand around and act charming until there's an opportunity to take advantage of. I have no reason to think you're any different from the rest of them."

Theo pulled his glasses off and stared up at Hermione. She noted that he didn't stand up and take advantage of his size difference and her biological impulse to fold for it. She also noted that he'd carefully kept his pheromones under control the entire class and hadn't used even a trace of an Alpha tone when speaking.

Credit where credit was due, but—there was also a part of her that wondered if that was a tactic too.

"I know," Theo said with a serious expression. "I've spent a lot of time wishing I'd gotten the nerve and spoken to you at least once before your birthday. Or some other point in the past. I don't have any excuse for it and even if I did, I realize you've got no reason to believe it. I've never been brave or prone toward risk-taking. However, I always wished I was your friend. My father was—unpleasant, and he regarded me as being something of a failure as his heir. You were all things I wished I was; brave and interesting, and not born purely out of obligation. Liking you started as a secretive way of rebelling and then gradually grew out of my control." He laughed faintly. "All that to say, I would legitimately like to be your friend, Hermione Granger, even if I've got no chance with you. I'll prove it to you eventually, because, in the likely event you soulbond with someone else, I'll still want to be your friend."

He smirked and quirked an eyebrow. "I've been friends with Draco for sixteen years; I'm the patient and long-suffering sort."

The corner of Hermione's mouth twitched and she struggled against smiling. "I'll take it under consideration."

Theo slipped his glasses off and stashed them in his robes, and then stood up and started packing up his satchel.

Hermione walked around him and headed out of the classroom. Theo was surprisingly charming. She couldn't decide if she liked him or not.

She was halfway down the hallway when she was snatched up and pulled a broom closet. 

"Mal—mmmph," she couldn't even get his name out before his mouth descended on hers. He kissed her so hard it was as though there was an explosion as their magic struck.

His tongue slid between her teeth as he began to quite overtly fuck her mouth with it.

Angry. Possessive. Pissed off.

His hands gripped her hard against his body; pulling at her clothes as his tongue continued to delve greedily inside her mouth. One of his hands came up and gripped her hair forcefully, pulling her head back to expose her throat.

She kissed him back fiercely. Relishing the fire until her lungs began to burn for oxygen and the whole world grew buzzy around her.

Draco pulled his mouth away from hers and dipped his head down. She felt his breath hot across her shoulder for a moment before he and dragged a long, hard lick across her scent glands.

Hermione gasped and tangled her fingers tightly in his hair.

"That fucking wanker," Draco snarled under his breath as his lips continued to tease across her sensitive skin. "I can't believe he went near you."

Hermione's brain was lost in a sea of pheromones and sensation. She could feel Draco's hand on her waist and the other tangled in her hair, and his mouth against her throat. His beautiful, possessive voice thrilled through her, causing her clit to throb and making her grow instantly wet. She whimpered and tried to grind against him.

His hand on her waist slid down between her legs and into her knickers, and he cupped her sex. Hermione gave a ragged gasp as he pressed his fingers against the sensitive flesh and brushed his thumb near her clit.

Alpha. Alpha. Alpha. Please.

Hermione whimpered against his shoulder and he sucked hard on the glands on one side. Her vision flashed white and her body went limp in his arms. He pushed her against the wall of the closet as he kept sucking on her glands.

"Please...please...please..." she begged him.

He pulled his mouth away from the glands on one side of her and proceeded to lick and suck the other side of her neck.

"You're mine." He growled the words against her throat as he ground the heel of his hand against her clit. " Say you want me."

"Yes...please—," she gasped. "I want you."

He pulled his hand away and she gave a dismayed wail and forcefully dragged him back toward her, pulling hard on his robes until she felt the fastenings give away.

This. This was what she wanted. For him to pay attention to her. To react to things, and not just keep her in a little box to take out when he felt horny or controlling.

She grabbed his face and pulled his mouth back to hers. Without thinking, she bit him sharply on the lip.

When she tasted blood, her eyes popped open and she let go and jerked back. He was staring at her with an expression of astonishment to mirror her own.

"Sorry," she said. "I'm sorry. I don't—"

He kissed her again before she could apologize further. The words faded from her mind as she wrapped her arms around his neck, rubbing her wrists along his shoulders and dragging her scent glands against his until the air was thick enough with their pheromones to be choking. His kisses tasted coppery and Hermione felt aghast with herself even as her instincts felt smugly vindicated. He ignored her. He wasn't supposed to ignore her. He deserved to bleed a bit.

He was hers.

He pulled her legs up around his waist and she could feel the texture of the castle's rough hewn stones against her back as he pinned her in place.

She traced the curve of his cheekbones under her fingers as she held his lips against hers. She pressed soft, apologetic kisses along his lower lip where her teeth had cut him.

One of his hands squeezed and kneaded her arse. She could feel his long fingers splay across her flesh and then slipped away. He shifted slightly, and she wasn't sure what he was doing. He was panting against her lips, and his pale hair was brushing against her forehead as she kept kissing him again and again, and nuzzling their noses together. Breathing the same air as their lips and tongues pressed together, and she slipped her tongue across his teeth.

Then she felt him pull her knickers roughly to the side and she barely had time to register it before he sank into her.

"Oh god—yessss..." she moaned against his mouth as he slid his hands under her knees, pulling them up as he gripped her thighs and drove into her. She shifted her hips, trying to accommodate him. Feeling pleased with herself at how she could take him.

Was there a reason they weren't supposed to have sex right then? There was—something. Hermione couldn't remember. There was just Draco's cock buried inside her, and it felt so good she thought she must be dying because every neuron in her brain felt simultaneously activated, like an electric surge through her mind. His touch could kill her.

He'd never fucked her against a wall before. It was—desperate. She felt wicked and ascendant; as though they'd slipped the surly bonds of earth. She put out her hand and touched his face as she kissed him hard.

"You're mine," he snarled against her teeth. "My Omega."

"Yes, Alpha..." She tilted her head back submissively so he could access her neck.

He dragged his teeth across her glands.

It was—explosive. Everything went dark and her whole body spasmed. She clenched around him like a vise and nearly screamed from the sensation that ripped through every nerve in her body. Her fingernails sank into his shoulders.

He gave a hoarse gasp and his pace faltered slightly. Then he used the support of the wall to slide his hands to her hips so he could control the pace better. Hermione's knees were drawn higher, making the penetration of his cock even deeper. She wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to him.

His cock was so big that the angle didn't allow him to sink in to the hilt. When he started to swell she could feel his knot outside of her body, pressing against her opening but not stretching her as he started to come.

He dragged his teeth across Hermione's glands again, and her orgasm struck her with the force of a speeding locomotive. Nothing. Everything. She was falling. The whole universe shattered and she thought she might black out from the intensity. She sobbed out her climax with her face buried in the juncture of his neck. Her inner walls were gripping him so tightly she felt like she'd break.

"Good girl—my good girl..." he rasped the words as his hips jerked sharply against her. "Mine. I'll take care of you. I'll always, always take care of you..."

He pulled her off the wall and backed into the door of the closet and proceeded to slide down to the floor until she was seated in his lap. He was still buried in her.

He pulled his arms out from under her knees and cradled her face in his hands, kissing her forehead and cheeks and down along her nose. She shivered against him as her skin prickled from the light touch 

"You're such a good girl," he said, pressing another kiss to her forehead as he stroked her cheeks with his thumbs. "So good."

Hermione smiled dazedly and nestled he head under his chin. She could feel his pounding heart. She pressed her hand over it, so she could feel it under her fingers.

As her head gradually cleared it occurred to her that Malfoy had just shagged her in a broom closet because Theo sat next to her in DADA class.

She lifted her head to stare at him in astonishment. He looked as though the thought had just occurred to him too.

They stared at one another, mouths agape. Hermione tried to absorb the implications, but she was so surprised she wasn't even certain of what they could be.

Malfoy steadily blushed. "I—don't—" his mouth opened and closed several times as though he had no idea what to say.

"Do you—care?" Hermione stared at him apprehensively and felt her heartbeat start to rapidly increase as she looked for an answer in his face.

He opened his mouth to reply but no sound came out. Then his eyes got hard and Hermione felt her heart sink. He pressed his lips into a flat line, lifted her off his lap, and stood up. His cock jutted out, rigid and swollen, the knot at the base was unyielding. He pulled his trousers closed with a faint hiss and muttered curse and then straightened his robes to conceal it.

"No," he finally said in a firm voice, staring past her. "The biology just caught me off guard, I think."

Hermione nodded faintly. She could feel his come sliding down the inside of her thighs. "Oh."

It was just biology. Again.

Of course it would be.

Malfoy was gone before she could say anything else.

She stood in the broom closet for a long time, until the smell of Malfoy's pheromones slowly faded and the abrasive scent of cleaning potions became noticeable. Then she grabbed her satchel from where it had fallen on the floor and pulled a small mirror out. She stared at her reflection as she dabbed murtlap essence on her neck and smoothed her hair in an efficient ritual that had become habit already. Then she scourgified the fluids from her legs and went to Gryffindor Tower. 

She climbed into her disused bed and stared up at the canopy. She had a Runes Translation to work on. She had a star chart to complete. She hadn't finished her potions essay due next month. She had four chapters to read for Transfiguration. She needed to work on the Arithmancy project with Malfoy.

She still hadn't heard back from most of the specialists she'd written to.

She didn't have any more classes until after dinner. Astronomy with Hufflepuff.

Astronomy class was—dull. It was a cloudy night which meant that the entire hour was devoted to reading review. Hermione had read the textbook years before and felt like her brain was melting. She didn't even feel inspired to raise her hand to answer all the questions that no one else knew.

When the class was dismissed, she tiredly checked her watch and wondered if Malfoy would be in their room since they'd already had sex that day. She supposed she could stop by and check.

As she reached the bottom the stairs she caught sight of Hannah, standing next to Susan. Hermione immediately averted her eyes and started walking away at a brisk pace.

"Hermione."

Hermione froze, cringing, and turned reluctantly to face Hannah.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" Hannah looked slightly pale as she walked away from Susan and toward Hermione.

"Sure... what is it?"

Hannah came to a stop a few inches from Hermione. They stared at each other in silence for several seconds.

"I broke up with Neville last week." Hannah said, her head jerking slightly.

Hermione nodded slowly. "I heard. I'm sorry."

Hannah's eyes grew faintly shiny, but her expression was unwavering. "It's not your fault. I don't blame you at all."

Hermione's eyes dropped away. "Still, I feel badly. You were really good together, I thought."

"I think you should date Neville," Hannah said abruptly.

Hermione's head jerked up sharply, she stared at Hannah in surprise.

Hannah just looked steadily back at her. "He used to like you, you know. He said you were the first friend he ever had."

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