"C'mon Avia, don't be a wuss, it's just me," Her voice taunts from her side of the screen. Lana's smiling at me, but I couldn't help but notice the seriousness of it all. I bite my lip, feeling sick once again. What am I doing? This is wrong, I know it is. But, I stiffly nod, feeling shame ride higher than a tsunami. Only a few more months of this, I'll survive, I have to.

I get up, my heart racing at the speed of light, and I lock my door. I dread walking back to my bed, as the gnawing feeling, the knowing of how disgusting and dirty I was waged a war inside me.

I settle back onto my once safe space, and I see Lana's phone recording me from the other end. Her dark waterfalls of hair is kept tame in a braid, while her wild eyes stay trained on me. I play with the hem of my shirt, feeling anything but willing.

"Go on, give me a show." I could've cried then, bringing the hurricane of tears down on me. I feel a lump in my throat, as I begin to hear music playing in background.

I start the dance of death by peeling my shirt off slowly, letting the fabric cling onto my body for just a second longer. My hips begin to sway, just as my legs being to shake. I let my hands roam my torso, mocking the way her hands touched me just a few hours ago. I could still feel her cold, soothing hand pumping inside of me. I could still hear how many times I whispered no underneath my breath, while she continued to quiet me with her intoxicating kiss.

My face doesn't show on camera, which is the only reason I let tears slip away. As the chorus levitates to my ears, my shorts fall to my ankles. I hear her quiet moans from the other end, making my stomach drop even further. My eyes dip towards the screen, only to see her silk-like legs spread open. Her tanned body, one achieved after going to Malibu one too many times, is completely bare. Two fingers are deep inside of her, causing me to look away.

"Off, I want it all off," She demands breathlessly. I feel my heart completely shatter, as hope dissipates inside me. I'll never get away from her, from them.

I'm stuck.

My shaky fingers unclasp my bra, leaving my tender breasts at the mercy of the camera. Goosebumps crept onto my ebony skin. I push down my lacy black underwear, and I freeze. In between the unbearable tears and the music slowly fading, I'd reached my breaking point.

I sank to the bottom of my wooden floor, naked and all, and I broke down. My tears began to go from a gentle rain shower to a full on thunderstorm within seconds. Lana's moans soon began to turn into deep breaths. Her honey eyes, ones that held me captive, didn't stop watching me. Vulnerability seeped into my body like the blood I bled constantly.

Could I do this?

"Get up, Avia," Her voice thunders from the other end, but I couldn't. I'm grounded in place, surrounded by shards of my heart. And I couldn't feel a single fucking thing. The terror that had inhabited my body so many times is gone, the searing pain of cigarette burns suddenly doesn't hurt, and the faith I once had flew out the window. I'm nothing, nothing but a forgotten barbie buried within the depths of a closet.

"Avia, I told you to fucking get up!"

I don't flinch at her violent shriek, I'm used to it.