I FEEL A DULL ACHE in my stomach, but I couldn't bring myself to eat. Jolene's words replayed endlessly in my head, never letting themselves be forgotten. I should've been used to it, but her words stabbed into my heart pulling at every insecurity, I didn't even know I had.

The nurturing numbness was now gone, in it's place is a heart-wrenching throb. "Avia, baby, are you coming down for dinner?" I hear my loving mother call out to me. I look down at my thighs with a frown.

"I'm not hungry."

"Are you sure?" My stomach grumbles in response, but I'm big enough.

"Yes, mom."

I slump further into my comforter, letting myself be buried within it's warmth. I doubt I'd be getting any sleep tonight, too many things to think about and so little time to do so. A ring pulls my attention to my phone laying on the opposite end of the room. I begrudgingly get out of my short lived comfort, and I know it's probably Lana on the other end. I pick up my white Iphone slowly, holding my breath at the text message.

FROM LANA
look i'm sorry for being a bitch, i shouldn't have ignored you all day

I close my eyes, hoping I'd wake up in another world. News flash, I don't. I'm still looking at the text in front of me, and I still had to answer.

TO LANA
it's fine

It's not fine, it never was or will be between us. As long as I'm with them, stuck being at the bottom of the pack, I'll never be fine.

But, I'll pretend to and Lord knows I put on a good show.

FROM LANA
alright, meet us at the lake house

TO LANA
k

In all honesty, I didn't want to leave my house. Much less sneak out and be out at all hours of the night, but I had a part to play.