Mikey's POV

It's dark. Still so dark. I can hear voices. Pete. I can hear Pete. I remember our fight, running after him, the car, the lights. The darkness.

I hate this. I'm in so much pain and I know he is too. This will spare us both. I'll be in no physical pain and his greivence will admonish his emotional pain. I hope he gets help afterwards. No matter how much he tries to deny it his mental health will be fucked.

I love him but now I have to leave him. Leave him with nothing but memories. Our memories. All we have left.

Pete's POV

It's all my fault. "Is he gonna make it?" I ask the doctor tentatively. He shakes his head. Tears well up and fall silently down my face. Beside me Gerard sobs uncontrollably. Above his sobs is the sound I've never wanted to hear. The long beep as he flatlines. "Time of death...9pm" He's gone. It's all my fault.

The legs of my chair screech and fly across the floor with the force I pushed it back with. Frank gives me a questioning glance but goes back to comforting his boyfriend. I want my boyfriend to comfort me but he can't; he's dead. Pushing past everyone and running out I find myself by a very familiar tree. I take a deep breath and start to climb. The whole way up I list things about myself that make me worthless.

"I'm worthless because I'm depressed. I'm a mess. I'm suicidal. I'm selfish. I'm stupid. I'm careless. I leave everyone behind." I reach the highest branch and stand right at the edge. "I'm worthless because I lost the man I love the most. I'm worthless because I stood here and now he's gone. Because of me." Here's where it all started. Here is where we died. I will see him again. I close my eyes and take a deep breath...but not today.

I scream and stamp my feet. "FUCK YOU! WHY DID YOU TAKE HIM FROM ME? MIKEY! MIKEYWAY I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH! I HATE YOU FOR LEAVING ME! YOU'RE SO SELFISH! ARGH! BRING HIM BACK OR TAKE ME WITH HIM!" I yell and shout and scream until I cling to the branch, throat hoarse and tears streaming.

Gerard's POV

"Shh baby it's ok." I yell and push him off me. "No it is not ok! He's fucking dead Frank! It will never be ok!" He looks shocked and hurt. "I just want to help." He whispers. I shake my head. "You can help by leaving me the fuck alone." Without a word he leaves and my heart breaks even more. I need him right now but I can't bear to be around him.

I'll apologise tomorrow but I'll stay somewhere else tonight. Maybe with Pete. I'll have to find him first though... "I love you Mikes. I miss you so fucking much. I hate that you're not here anymore. I'll never drink coffee in the same way," I laugh a little "but yeah. We'll all be pretty fucked up for a while. Pete definitely will. I'll watch him for you. If he gets too bad well...at least you'll see him again." My voice cracks but no more tears can fall.

I place a kiss on his forehead and hug him tightly. "Love you Mikes." Without looking back I leave, unable to stay in that room any longer. I wander out the hospital and try to figure out where Pete might've gone. "Where the Hell is he?" I ask myself. I think about what I would've done if Frank had died. I remember Mikey telling me about these places they went to. I walk to their favourite coffee shop, nope. Their favourite cinema, nope. The mall where they would play 'how many shops can we get kicked out of?', nope.

Exasperated I trudge to one last place. Where they had their first ever date. It's the same place where so many amazing memories have happened, they had their first date, got back together, Brendon bit Ryan, they got super drunk then ran here, pretended to be five again and then threw up everywhere. The park. I sit on a swing and watch the sun start to set. I can r believe he's really gone. I know I need to make sure Pete's ok and I pissed off Frankie but...my little brother just died! I...I can't. He's saved me from so much. He helped me with addictions, he's always let me stay with him if I had nowhere, he was always there through Grandma Elena's death and...no he's gone. He was there, and now he isn't.

He hasn't dissapeared, I know where he is, but he's still gone. How am I gonne tell mom and dad? How am I gonna tell anyone? I don't think I would be able to. I can't just go up to someone and go "hi Mikey's dead, coffee?" That's just not something anyone can do. It just isn't. I wasn't there. I wasn't there for him when he needed me. Pete was calling me and telling me he was hurt but I was on holiday. I told him I would see him when I got back. How fucking horrible am I?

I fall off the swing and drop to the floor. My entire body is racked with sobs and salty water erupts from my eyes. It pours hot and free down my face onto my clothes and the, now muddy, ground below. My face contorts in pain and my wide open mouth emits loud screams of nothing into the darkness. My heart physically aches and shatters. I feel every single piece drop to the floor of my ribcage and just lie there. Never to be fixed.

Fingers outstretched and clawing at the dirt as if I can dig down into the pits of Hell for what I've done. As if I can claw my way to him. As if I can see him again. There's only one way I can. What's the point in living if I don't have the ray of black sunshine beside me? I need Mikey. I need him so bad. Life is nothing without him.

Slowly struggling to stand up, my legs totter and waver. I know where I'm going and I know what I'm going to do. The water still flows, my chest still aches and my screams still echo but I'm walking with a purpose. I remember Mikey telling me something about a tree, Pete too. Pete told me that's where Mikey...Mikey died. It looms into sight and towers over my shaking, fragile body. Damn that's a big tree. I stumble as I walk, trying to navigate through the darkness. From somewhere nearby I hear sobs, getting louder as I near the tree. Stood underneath, I hear the sobs even more and can make out some words.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Branches and leaves rustle. A dark, muttering blob walks to the end of a branch. "Don't jump!" I shout. It turns to look at me with wide eyes. In the orange hue of the street lights I can make out who it is. "Pete! Get down!" I yell, my voice hoarse from screaming. "I can't Gee! I need Mikey!" He yells back. "So do I! I was going to do the same thing as you but Mikey wouldn't want us to! He'd be pissed as Hell and probably hate us for the rest of eternity. He wouldn't smile and you would'nt get ghost married."

He looks down then back at me. He shakes his head. "I can't do this." He jumps.