I woke up to Gerard screaming.

Startled, I shot up and found my way through the dark to his bed.

He was throwing himself around and clawing at his own throat as if somebody was choking him. I grabbed his wrists, trying to stop him from hurting himself and turned on the light.

"Hey, hey Gerard!"

I tried to calm him down, but he didn't seem to see me. His wide eyes stared at the ceiling, he was breathing heavily and still wouldn't let go of his throat.

"Gerard it's okay. I'm here."

His terrified gaze shifted to my face.

"Frank?" His voice was rough and barely audible.

"I'm here. Please let go."

He took a shaky breath and slowly unclasped his fingers from around his throat.

"I-someone was- I couldn't breathe I-"

"Calm down. It's okay. Just a dream."

He sat up and I let go of him.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have fallen asleep."
He mumbled under his breath.

Oh.

"That wasn't the first time, right?" I asked quietly.

He nodded and ran a hand through his long black hair.

"I'm sorry for waking you up."
"Gerard you hurt yourself! That wasn't just a nightmare that-"

"Night terrors." He cut me off, a pained expression flashing across his face.
He looked ashamed, examining his folded hands in his lap.

"They- They keep getting worse."
I noticed that he was crying.

"Hey... hey can- can I hug you?" He looked at me and then barely shook his head.

"Sorry I'm not- You're my friend but... I can't." he wrapped his own arms around his body like he was cold.

"It's okay. But I'm here if you need me."

He sniffed and gave me a thankful look. I smiled back.

"Do you wanna talk about it? Maybe it helps."

He looked unsure, but then he nodded, clutching his blanket for comfort.

"It's always the same. I'm in a big house. It's dark and I-" he disruped himself with another shaky breath.

"I can't find a way out. I run through the corridors and I know- I just know that there's no way out. It's like it's pulling me deeper into the darkness and it gets worse and worse.
Sometimes there's- there are shadows and it feels like- like somebody is gripping my throat and... squeezing and-" he lets out a quiet sob.

I want to hug him so badly, I want to take him into my arms and tell him that everything will be okay, but I know that touching him would make everything worse for him, so I sit quietly and listen, picking on the skin around my fingernails.

"Most of the time I just wanna get away I just want it to end- the worst thing is that I can't wake up. I can't stop it. I'm so helpless. I don't want to sleep. I can't sleep."

He looked up at me, blank panic on his face. He still was terrified of what he saw, and it broke my heart.

"I'll stay awake with you."

His eyes went wide.

"Really? You- you don't think it's weird? That I'm a freak?"

"Gerard I've been an outcast my whole life. I'm so happy to have a friend, you know that? And you're honest with me, that's important. You won't go through this alone, ya hear me? You're important to me, that's the only thing that counts, allright?"

"Okay."

A small smile curls his lips. He looks like he wants to add something, but remains silent.

I wish I could tell him... tell him what I felt for him.
That he stunned me from the first moment I had looked at him, so concentrated on his drawing he didn't even notice me staring.
My heart has been falling for him from that moment on, and it doesn't seem like it's gonna stop soon.