" i loved you, and i still do
just wanted passion from you "

— the greatest, billie eilish

𝚓𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝟸𝟶𝟶𝟽.

It had taken Cherry Doose a week for it to sink in the fact that she and Jess were officially over. Done. Broken up. No longer intertwined in the way she thought it was. She had been waiting for him to chase after her, to convince her she was wrong and that he truly did care about her.

She was being foolish, though. It was illogical and silly, allowing these fantasies to run away with her. Waiting for him to show up again was just prolonging the pain. Every time the wound of losing him began to sink it, Cherry would peel the scab away and let the bleeding begin anew. To live in denial 

But a week had passed, and with no word from Jess, Cherry had no choice but to swallow the pill of her decision. 

Yet she couldn't stand being in New York. It had been the city he had introduced her to, and she began to question whether she even belonged there to start with. So packing a small bag with her, Cherry left Jacqueline a note saying she was going to Stars Hollow for a bit. 

This wasn't much better. The small town reeked of all the moments between her and Jess when they had been just friends. If they had ever been only that to start with. 

Bethany Doose had put up with her daughter's moping in bed for a week—she understood the pain she was feeling all too well. But when Cherry hadn't physically left her bed in five days, she decided an intervention was to be had. 

Pushing the bedroom door open, all Bethany could see of her daughter was a mop of blonde curls peeking from the thick blue duvet. She stood there, waiting for some sort of greeting, but Cherry remained silent. However, she could tell she was awake by the sharp inhales that were trying to not turn into sobs.

Sighing sadly, Bethany perched on the bed and brushed her hair up. Cherry decided to glance at her mother, blue eyes swimming in unshed tears. "Will it always feel this way? Like I'm drowning in a tsunami with no vision of the shore."

"No, it won't. I promise." she added, when Cherry seemed unconvinced. "One day, it'll feel like a bruise. And you'll forget it's there, and occasionally you'll brush it against something and you'll feel a dull echo of pain, but it won't be anywhere as painful as how you're feeling now."

The words seemed to sink in as Cherry nodded, pushing herself to sit up. Her pale face seemed sunken in, lips red from being gnawed on. 

Bethany hesitated, wondering if it was the best time to ask. "What...what exactly happened between you?"

Since she had arrived to Stars Hollow, not an explanation had been given from Cherry. Bethany hadn't pressed, half scared herself to find out. She had also seen Jess as an extension of the family. 

Cherry's chin quivered, as she stared at the ceiling. At first, Bethany thought she wouldn't say anything. "If I've being truthful, it's been going on for months. We have just been so . . . disconnected. Out of sync. And when I got the job in Paris, I thought it'd shake him up and make him fight for me. For us. And when he didn't . . . I had just had enough."

Bethany mulled over these words. As Cherry wiped her tears away, she knew there was not much to say to console the girl. Cherry had made her mind up, and the only way to change it would be if Jess came through to prove her otherwise.

She wasn't sure if he had it in him.

"Look, why don't we do a film marathon?" Bethany offered. "Get your mind off things, a distraction. If it's only momentary."

Cherry couldn't think of anything less she'd rather do, but she knew her mother was trying her best. So she nodded, accepting. "Sure. Let me take a shower first."

"Please, you stink"

Agape and offended, Cherry swung a pillow at her mother, who laughed and left her to get ready. As soon as she was gone, she felt the threat of tears sting under her eyelids again.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Jess Mariano still hadn't accepted the breakup. He was still somewhat waiting by the phone, for a message from Cherry, to confirm that he had somehow just dreamt the fight and they were still together. 

When she had said those words and left the apartment, Jess had stood frozen. He wasn't sure for how long, but after some time he had sworn loudly and thrown a glass across the room, its pieces shattering all over the living room carpet. Poetic, really. 

For the following week, he glued himself to his laptop, pouring out every feeling he had for Cherry onto his book: guilt, shame, pain, undeniable love. 

Troy and Marcus worried over their friend. Jacqueline had told Marcus, as the two were now on their verge of becoming a couple, and now it made sense to the boys why they had hardly seen Jess for the past week, the dark haired boy hiding in his room.

They had given him some space to process, but it was getting ridiculous. Convinced he wasn't eating, Marcus dragged Troy over to the front of Jess' room and pushed him to knock. When there was no answer, the boys glanced between themselves. "Hey Jess? We're worried about you, we haven't seen you in a week. Jacqueline told us . . . what happened."

Well, only that he and Cherry had broken up. The details were unknown to all of them apart from the two parties involved. 

"What if he's dead?" Troy harshly whispered at Marcus. Marcus scoffed, but suddenly looked dubious. "Maybe he overdosed over his grief."

"Right, Jess, open up or we're knocking the door down!" Marcus announced loudly, banging on the door. As he raised his fist to knock again, the door swung open, and the two boys stared perplexed at Jess.

He looked. . . awful. His hair had not been brushed, poking all over the place, and his eyes were bright red with dark bags beneath them. He hadn't shaved, so stubble was poking from his chin, further emphasising the sharp edge of his cheekbones. 

"So . . ." Jess' voice croaked, raspy from not having spoken for a week. "She told Jacqueline then?"

Marcus nodded, the words failing him. Jess gulped, his mouth suddenly dry. He knew what he meant. If she had told Jacqueline, then it meant he hadn't dreamt it. It was real. He had fucked it up, and Cherry had decided to leave. As he knew she would. 

He could choke on the pill.

He headed back inside into his room, followed by a preoccupied Marcus and a tense Troy. When they smelt the stench of his room and the drawn curtains that kept it hidden in darkness, they glanced at each other.

"Jess, you can't coop yourself in your room in agony."

He stared blankly at his friends, like he wasn't processing their words.

"Let's go for some drinks, yeah?" Troy offered. "We can get completely drunk if you want. Drown in your sorrows, or whatever."

Marcus glared at him, and Troy shrugged. "What? I don't know how heartbreak feels."

When Jess realised they were awaiting his answer, he shrugged, and then agreed. The sudden urge to feel the burn of whiskey crawling down his throat felt better than this sinking dread that he had lost something he could never get back.

And this scared the living shit out of him. 

hiyah! know this has been a while (oops) but i'm determined to finish! 2025 resolution lol

anyways how this act is gonna work is the first four chapters are before cherry goes off to paris

then the following ten will take place the same day of each year for a decade before A Year In The Life ( a bit like the book/tv series 'one day' if you've seen it)