Nascha continued petting Fenrys' fur, even after she was certain he was sleeping. Fenrys' breaths were deep and even. His nose twitched occasionally and his ears were laid back, but other than that, he seemed at ease. His head and forepaws were a comfortable weight in her lap, although she thought her leg might fall asleep soon if he didn't move.

Nascha drew her hand away and Fenrys opened his eyes. She flashed him a sideways grin. "Were you pretending to be asleep so that I'd keep petting you?"

Fenrys sat up and shifted into himself. "You'd be surprised how good it feels. It's very relaxing."

"Is it?" Nascha leaned over and patted his head.

"Only when I'm in my wolf form," Fenrys chuckled. "Otherwise I feel like a patronized child. And truthfully, I was falling asleep. If you hadn't stopped when you did, I would've."

"My apologies."

"Don't lie."

"I wasn't lying. If I said I was sorry, that would be lying. I apologized. There's a difference."

Fenrys raised his eyebrows. "I'm going to remember that one."

"Don't steal my lines, Moonbeam."

"I'll make sure to use it when you're not around, so everyone thinks it's mine."

Nascha grunted in disgust and rolled her eyes. "I can't believe I thought you were cute."

"Cute?"

"Curled up with your head in my lap like an adorable little puppy."

"I see. I think it's cute when you're covered in stardust." Nascha stiffened as he leaned towards her, brushing his thumb over her cheek. Fenrys studied her briefly, his onyx eyes glittering. He drew away and tilted his head up.

Nascha twisted onto her back, letting her head rest in his lap this time. Fenrys glanced at her, a smile ghosting across his lips. "I was...dreaming about someone special to me," he began. "Her name was Seraphina. Sera." Fenrys combed his fingers through Nascha's crimson waves. She didn't protest.

"At first, she was just one of my many acts of defiance, but I fell in love with her. I was stupid and kept seeing her, even when I knew I should stop. I was able to visit her for a few months before Maeve found out. One night, I stayed longer than I meant to and I fell asleep. When I woke up..." His next breath shook. Nascha didn't speak. "They tortured her. Mutilated her. I was asleep beside her the entire time and never even knew."

"How?" Nascha asked.

"Connall kept her still. Lorcan silenced her. Cairn tortured her. I don't know which wound took her life or if she died from blood loss. I tried to heal her, but it was already too late. Connall was the one who dragged me back to Maeve's palace. Gavriel was forced to whip me and rub salt into the wounds. A few healers came and attended to me a little over an hour later. They left the scars, but dulled them slightly." Fenrys jerked his chin over his shoulder.

Nascha rose and moved behind him. She took in the whip scars that she'd noticed before. He tensed as she traced her fingers over the faded marks. "All because you fell in love?"

"Because I was Maeve's property and I gave myself to another." Fenrys lowered his head. "I was forbidden to talk about her and so were the others. After Maeve died, Rowan told me that Connall had returned to Sera's home and buried her. I've never gone to her grave. I don't know how I can, when she was tortured right beside me. She died because of me. Because I was selfish and stupid."

Fenrys swallowed hard. "Cairn began to spread rumors that Seraphina had been pregnant. There was no way to prove if the rumors were true or not. I know that was part of my punishment. Forever being tormented by not knowing."

Nascha hesitated, then asked, "Does it matter?"

"What?" Fenrys' voice fell flat.

"Does it matter if you know? It doesn't change the fact that she is dead. If a child existed, it's dead too. Perhaps not knowing is a small blessing."

"Perhaps, but I still wish I knew." Fenrys drew his knees up to his chest and let his arms dangle over them. "Sometimes, I wonder if she was my mate. I've never connected with anyone the way I connected with her. She was...everything to me."

Nascha felt a twinge of jealousy, but she forced it aside. She rested her hand on Fenrys' shoulder. "I think you should visit her grave, if only once. Maybe it will bring you some sense of peace. Seeing my parents and Van's graves did that for me. It hurts and it will continue hurting, but a little less than before."

"I never want to go back to Doranelle."

"Not even for Seraphina?" He didn't answer. "Maeve is gone, Fenrys. You drove Goldryn through her heart. You helped defeat her. Don't live the rest of your life in fear of her. That means you've let her win."

Fenrys met her gaze. "I will never let her win, but I'm not ready to go back again. Not yet."

"I wasn't ready to go back to Arcelia, but I was forced to anyway."

"Then you can have the satisfaction of being stronger than me, when confronting ghosts from your past."

"I don't think that's true." Fenrys arched his brow. Nascha gave a slow sigh. "Truthfully, I think you were the only thing that got me through that trip. I had to pretend to be strong because I didn't want you to see me as weak."

"I never saw you as weak."

"If you saw me crying, you would have."

"I heard you crying." Nascha blinked in surprise. "I woke up a few nights and heard you. I pretended to be asleep so that you wouldn't feel like you had to stop."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I just told you. I didn't want you to feel like you had to stop." Nascha gave him a prompting look. "And I didn't know what to say. I wanted to try to make you feel better, but I didn't know how to without angering you. That's..." He turned his face away, but not before she saw a furious blush creep into his cheeks. "That's partially why I made that pact with you. I didn't think you would accept anything else."

Nascha's gaze fell to his lips. A shiver swept through her as she recalled the feeling of his tongue. "I suppose that's one way to do it," she replied. "So you were just feeling sorry for me?"

"I wouldn't say that," Fenrys murmured. Before Nascha could reply, he added, "Sera looked a little bit like you, only her hair was more orange than red, and she had blue eyes instead of brown."

"Was she Fae?"

"She was one of the rare Demi-Fae allowed in Doranelle." The affectionate light in Fenrys' eyes dimmed. "She never Settled, and didn't think she was going to. If she had lived and things continued to progress between us, I would have bound myself to her, like Lorcan did to Elide."

Nascha bit her lip, then said, "I'm glad you never had the chance to do that. I think the world would be very dull without you in it."

"Really?"

"No one annoys me like you do. Who would I argue with if you were gone?"

Fenrys smiled. "I don't know. Aelin is the only person who can match my wit, but I wouldn't recommend making a habit out of arguing with her unless you want to end up a burnt husk."

Nascha grimaced. "I'd rather not."

"I thought so."

◦ ~ ❘ ☼ ❘ ~ ◦

They sat in silence until the sky was tinged pink by the first rays of dawn. Nascha's head rested on Fenrys' shoulder. He watched her from the corner of his eye. She wasn't asleep, but her eyes were partially closed.

I think this is the longest we've spoken to each other without arguing, he thought. Heat touched the tips of his ears. And the most we've flirted with each other without Nascha getting mad.

He almost couldn't believe he'd told her about Seraphina, and yet, it seemed like the most natural thing to do. Who else could he talk about her with? Not Lorcan or Aedion. The only time he'd spoken about Seraphina with Rowan was when they talked about her burial. He'd never tried to talk about her with Vaughan. He didn't want to bring her up with Aelin. He knew his Queen would only feel anger and sorrow on his behalf.

"Fenrys?" Nascha called.

"Hm?"

"You're unusually quiet."

"So are you."

"I was thinking about how much sleep I lost and how much training I'll be expected to do today."

"I appreciate that you lost that sleep on my behalf." Fenrys tucked an arm around her waist with a faint laugh.

"Well, I can't have Aelin deeming my supervisor as negligent. She might stick me with Lorcan instead."

"If you can handle me, you can handle Lorcan."

"Maybe, but could I handle Elide as well?"

Fenrys frowned. "Probably not."

Nascha laughed as she stretched her arms over her head. Fenrys' gaze wandered over her, then returned to her face and lingered on her lips. "What?" Nascha asked, noticing his stare.

"I'm going to make use of our pact." Nascha narrowed her eyes. He shook his head, recognizing the look. "I just...I want to kiss you. It won't mean anything. Just another act of defiance. A reminder for me. Maeve is gone and my actions hold no consequences for those I share them with."

Nascha's expression softened. "All right."

Fenrys didn't hesitate. He cupped Nascha's cheek in his hand and drew her mouth to his. Her fingers brushed over his scars as she touched his cheek. Fenrys moved slowly, letting himself learn the curve of her lips. He tightened his arm around her waist, drawing her closer.

Nascha's free arm wound around his neck and she angled her head more to the side, deepening the kiss. Fenrys matched her energy. She slid a hand down his back. His skin tingled in her wake. Fenrys touched her hip and tugged her onto his lap. Nascha's fingers left his cheek and threaded through his hair.

Heat ignited in the pit of his stomach. Fenrys kissed her hungrily, nudging her lips apart. Nascha made a small sound as he let his tongue sweep in. Her canines scraped over his lips. Fenrys barely stifled his pleased growl. He felt Nascha smile. She kissed him harder and caught his bottom lip between her teeth. Fenrys reacted instinctively. He braced his hand on the small of her back and twisted so that she was beneath him.

Nascha opened her eyes as Fenrys did. He understood the smoky look that reflected in them. That kiss meant more than either of them wanted to admit. Nascha licked her lips, drawing in deep breaths. He lowered himself onto his elbows, letting his hips settle on hers. Nascha's breath caught.

"You want more, Sweetheart?" Fenrys asked.

She lifted her leg to his hips. Fenrys grinned. Nascha tensed suddenly, her gaze leaving his. Fenrys heard the wingbeats a heartbeat later. He rolled off Nascha and waded into the stream in an effort to cool the heat that surged through him. Nascha sat up and straightened her clothes. She crossed her legs even though it did very little to mask her aroused scent.

Rowan appeared and shifted into himself. He fixed cold green eyes on Fenrys. "There you are," he snapped. "I've been looking for you for hours. You're needed at the palace now. Both of you. I suggest you get changed." He shifted once more and flew away.

Fenrys climbed out of the stream, smoothing hair back from his forehead. "Shit. He's in a bad mood and that means something happened." He held out a hand. Nascha took it wordlessly and he teleported them back to the cabin.