BY THE TIME Alec and I had made our way to my car, the sun had begun to set and the sky's colour had transitioned into the gilded blue of evening.  A comfortable silence floated between the two of us. 

He stared up at the clouds that were gradually darkening, heavy with rain. His hair was lightly mussed from the chilly breeze and his hands were full with plastic shopping bags. 

"Did you love him?" Alec asked suddenly, turning to me. His eyes held a world of hurt.

I took a deep breath and shut my eyes, feeling the icy air caress my face as I pondered Alec's question.

Oddly, I realised that I hadn't thought about that before; whether what I felt for Elijah had really been love, childish infatuation or a mixture of both. You would assume that after two years of dating someone you'd know how you felt about them.

"I don't know, Alec," I replied sadly, feeling guilty for my pathetic response. 

Had I really loved Elijah?  

A memory floated to my mind. It was a cool winter's afternoon, a few months after Dad had died. I'd been feeling especially down that day because Mom had decided it was time to pack away Dad's things because looking at them hurt her too much. Elijah had been in the house that day and I remember him holding me as I cried and cried into his arms the entire night because all I wanted was for Dad to come back.  And when I woke up the following morning, still cradled in his arms, I remember looking over at him and thinking that there was no one else in the entire world that I would have wanted right next to me in that moment. 

Maybe I did know the answer to Alec's question. 

Maybe I was just too afraid to admit it: that I had wholly given my heart to someone who had played me like a puppet on a string. 

"I don't think it matters, anymore." I added curtly, my heart beginning to ache. "What's clear is that whatever I felt wasn't mirrored." 

"Sadie..." Alec began softly, gently grabbing my arm, "I'm sorry for what he did to you. You didn't deserve that. No one deserves that." 

I squeezed his hand, grateful for him. 

"Have you been okay?" I questioned as I looked up at his troubled face. 

He looked to his feet, his face unreadable.

"Well...I don't know how much Athena has told you...or if she's even mentioned it but..." He hesitated. "I've decided to move back to Greece."

Shock overcame me. A thousand questions flitted through my mind at lightning speed as I tried to comprehend what he was saying. 

"But...Alec...WHY?" 

"I think it will be good for me. You know...getting away from everything for a bit. Trying something new. Besides, I miss Greece a lot. I know Athena prefers it here but I miss my old friends and the rest of our family there."

A part of me felt like that he wasn't telling the entire truth about why he wanted to leave. Alec had always been someone who hated change. And moving to another country was one hell of a change. 

He paused before continuing, "I just think I'll be happier there. Surrounded by the people I've grown up with, you know?"

I fought to keep my tears at bay. Just when I'd thought  we were rekindling our friendship, he was slipping through my fingers once more. 

He looked to me, expecting me to say something, but I was still processing what he'd just said. 

"Last year was really tough for me, Sadie," Alec added, his eyes finally meeting mine. "I was in a really bad place and I didn't tell anyone about it because I was afraid it would change their view of me. I didn't want to be a burden to anyone either.  Both Mom and Dad were always so busy at the restaurant and Athena...well... she was barely ever at home. I just felt so...alone. Like everyone had their own lives to move on with and I'd been left behind."

His eyes were sad and empty, the light in them engulfed by this looming darkness. All I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him and apologise. Apologise for not being there when he needed someone the most.

"I've been thinking of moving back for a while now, actually. I was just always too afraid to tell Mom, Dad and Athena because I was terrified of what they'd think of me."

He paused, gauging my reaction before continuing, "But I think I was most scared of telling you."

This stunned me. I would never look at him differently for something like this. 

"Alec, I-" I began, but he quickly cut me off. 

"Not because I thought you would judge me - I knew you would never. But because...well..." He took a deep breath, "I didn't want to have to say goodbye to you."

"Alec..."

"How I've felt about you for the past four years has never been a secret, Sadie." His words were thick with emotion. "And I know you've never felt the same about me but the thought of being a whole continent away from you..."

Deep down, I knew that if I pleaded with him to stay, he would. But I also knew I couldn't ask that of him. If moving to Greece was going to help him, make him happy, then I wasn't going to stand in the way of that. 

"When do you leave," I asked, my voice breaking slightly. 

"Three weeks."

We fell back into silence. This time though, the silence that floated between the two of us was tense and painful and full of unasked questions. It was as though I could hear his thoughts and all the words that wanted to spill from his lips. 

Especially the three words that beat so loudly from his chest that they reverberated in my ears.

I love you.