NESSA

I kissed Grayson back.

I didn't think about it, didn't second guess it. I just felt it, gave into it. Finally.

And oh god, it felt good. So, so good.

He kept alternating the way he kissed me, switching between softly brushing his lips against mine and ramming our mouths together like I was his lifeline. And it drove me wild. Absolutely wild. But I doubted he was doing it on purpose; it was almost like he kept reeling himself back after getting too possessive, too bruising.

I wanted that, though. Bad enough that I seized both sides of his face to keep him from pulling away.

A slight growl told me that Grayson approved. One of his hands still cupped my cheek, and he used it to tilt my head to the side, angling us so he could kiss me even deeper. His tongue slipped between my lips, and soon it was tangling with mine.

"Fuck," he muttered, muffling my moan with his curse.

The way the word filled my mouth made me shiver with desire, but it was nothing compared to when Grayson dropped his hands to grip my waist, twisting me around until I straddled him.

Our mouths parted briefly in the process, and Grayson didn't like that, tangling his fingers in my hair as he brought us back together again.

"Never stop, Adler," he breathed against my lips.

All I could do was whimper in reply. Because our tongues flicked together, and I didn't want any of it to stop. Just like I suspected would happen if I kissed him.

When Grayson seemed confident that my mouth wasn't going anywhere, locked securely with his, he trailed his fingers down the column of my back until two large hands rested on my waist again. And then with a tight tug, he urged my body closer to his. Close enough that I could feel everything.

My mind reeled, completely and wholly drowning in Grayson. In his musky scent and hard chest and soft lips. And if that wasn't enough, his palms drifted to my legs, skating over my tights. I felt his warmth through the sheer fabric as he plucked at it, and I wanted more. I wanted so much more.

"I fucking love these."

His husky voice caressed my lips as he continued to kiss me.

"What, tights?" I gasped, trying to slow my breathing as Grayson's hands made their way beneath my corduroy skirt.

"Yeah, and your skirts," he added gruffly before grabbing onto my hips and gently rocking them against his. A finger toyed with the band of my tights, tickling my bare skin.

Oh, god. I should stop him. I should really stop him.

But I didn't, I couldn't. Especially not when the things he was doing caused goosebumps to erupt up and down my arms while something white-hot and boiling pooled right where he was grinding us together.

"Grayson," I whined, and he chuckled in a delightfully sinful way.

"I knew you wanted to kiss me again," he murmured, and there was a sly, smarting tone to it.

My stomach sank, and I wrenched my lips away from his.

"Timeout. Is that the only reason you're here?" I gasped as I grabbed his shoulder to steady myself.

His lips were only an inch from mine, and they were wet and soft. And shit, looking at them teased me. I knew the way they could make me feel. That and everything he was doing with his hands.

But I really needed him to answer that question first.

Grayson frowned and switched to running his palms soothingly up my back. "What?"

I blinked down at him and tried to talk slower. I tried to talk like I hadn't just finished running a marathon; that was how breathless he'd made me. "Did you only come here because you wanted to see if I'd kiss you? To see if I'd finally give in?"

Like a game. It was always a game with these guys.

Both hands stilled. "Of course not."

I swallowed, nodding my head. But I wasn't done with him yet, because I knew I needed to ask. Just ask like my dad told me to. And then we could go back to everything we were doing before.

"What do you want, Grayson?"

He laughed lightly. An arm wrapped around me, pulling tight until I was pressed against his chest.

"I think it's pretty obvious that I want you, Nessa." He lifted his hips—enough for me to feel just how much he wanted me. In inches.

I bit my lip to keep a groan from falling out of my mouth. Because even though my body yearned for everything he was offering, my brain was on full retreat. What part of me did he want?

"You're right," I managed to say after fighting through a wave of desire. "But what if I told you that there was no chance in hell that I'd sleep with you?"

He chuckled, shaking his head. And it bothered me to no end because he seemed to be having the time of his life while a war battled inside me. He grabbed my chin, tilting it down so I'd look at him in the eyes as he replied.

"I didn't come here tonight for sex if that's what you're asking."

I let out a sigh. His hands fell down again, flirting with the hem of my skirt. My brain and heart were slightly appeased by his assurance, allowing the feel of him to take over once more.

At least until Grayson opened his mouth again. That mouth I desperately wanted to kiss and nip and—fuck.

"I mean, I assumed your family would be here. And they're right downstairs," he added, lips curving upward.

Alarms sounded, calling for another hasty yank on the reins.

I shook my head. "No, Grayson. What if I told you there was no chance of sex at all?"

His smile faded. He looked confused—like my question was incomprehensible. But I waited anyway. Because what I'd asked was pretty damn clear.

He leaned in, letting his lips drag over the curve of my ear. And when he spoke, it was with a breathy seduction that made me roll my eyes. But not in irritation.

"I'd call bullshit, Adler."

It took me a second to get myself together before pushing back and holding my hands up between us in a T, signaling that we were still in a goddamn timeout. "Excuse me?"

His steely eyes sparked as they traced my face.

"I'd call bullshit," he repeated, keeping his voice low. "I'm not saying it will happen tonight or even next week or next month. But hell, I know you feel what I feel. And how fucking long do you really think we're going to be able to resist that?"

I stared at him, stunned. I did feel. He did make me feel. And I honestly didn't want to resist it. But what happened after we finally gave in?

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked with a groan. "Don't even try to deny it. You keep trying to push me away even though you just told me how you feel."

"Yeah, I said I want to kiss—"

One huge palm flew to the side of my face, cupping it as he cut me off. "You and I both know we want a hell of a lot more than a kiss."

That was true; we did want a hell of a lot more. The only difference was that Grayson wanted an experience, and I just wanted him. Shit, I really did want him. I wanted his flirty texts and soft touches and sweet gestures. I wanted to watch him play football with my brother and strum the guitar for me. I wanted him, and I hated that I'd ended up here again, pinning for a guy who I knew would probably hurt me.

Grayson was growing frustrated by my silence. His hand dropped from my face to rake through his short hair, and I knew it was only a matter of time before he started to tear it out.

"Stop trying to hate me, Nessa," he said, a bit of a growl to his words. "We both want the same things. I know we do."

"I'm not so sure about that," I mumbled before trying to push off his lap.

He wouldn't let me, though. The grip on my hip only tightened, and his other hand flew back down to help hold me there. His voice was low and taut, pulled like a string ready to be plucked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," I sighed, "I haven't been agreeing to hang out with you because I was trying to get into your pants. But apparently, that's all you've been trying to do."

When I tried to get up this time, he let me, his hands falling away. I felt empty as I strode across the room, turning to stare out the window. There wasn't anything to see, but at least I wouldn't have to look at Grayson and second-guess his reaction.

"Nessa, that's not what I—"

I whirled back around, throwing a hand into the air.

"You might be in it for the long haul, but it's still just a game to you, isn't it? What happens when you finally score, Grayson?"

His jaw clenched, maybe because he realized he wasn't going to score at all. "It's not a game. You're not a game."

Biting my lip, I shook my head. But Grayson wasn't done.

"Christ, Nessa. I'm not the player that you think I am, so cut it out. I'm tired of it. I'm so into you, but you keep calling a timeout because you're scared of admitting that you're into me, too."

A dry laugh flew out of me. "Wrong."

"What?"

"You're wrong. I called a timeout because I'd already admitted defeat when it came to fighting my feelings for you, Grayson. And I wanted to know if that loss was gonna hurt."

The expression on Grayson's face was a mixture of hopefulness and pain. "You think I'd hurt you?"

"I honestly didn't think so. But then I also thought that maybe you wanted me for more than just sex."

Grayson jumped up from the bed, stalking across the room toward me. "You're twisting my goddamn words, Adler. I never said that's all I wanted."

When I began to back away, afraid of what I would give into if he touched me again, he halted. His breaths were heavy, and so were mine, and it took me a crazy long time to find my voice.

"I'm not twisting your words, Grayson. You just said the wrong ones."

He stuffed his hands into his pockets as his face settled into a rigid grimace. "Well, I'm not going to lie. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to tell you that I don't want to fuck you when I do."

"Thanks for that." The lava in my veins had hardened now, and so had my words. "Now I don't have to worry about making the same mistake twice."

"Nessa—"

I spun around, waving at him. "Just go, Grayson."

There was a weighty silence while I stared out the window again, waiting to see if he would keep protesting. A weighty silence while my heart deliberated if I wanted him to.

But then the door opened and closed, and I had my answer.

Because my heart broke just a little bit to hear him go.

💗

Sorry! but also if you've read the fire we started, you had to know it wasn't going to be that easy. because as we move into the next part of this story, we are coming to those scenes between Nessa and Grayson that we got hints of in TFWS. and every little thing Nessa wouldn't tell Madie. Do we recall? 😉

xoxo amelie