NESSA

I couldn't remember the last time I was this frustrated with Grayson. Probably never. Not legitimately. Like fakely, maybe. Like how I used to convince myself that I was frustrated with him but never really was.

That wasn't the case this time. He was legitimately driving me up the wall.

Pacing. All he had done since we'd gotten home from class earlier was pace. And even before that, he'd been acting weird. Tense. Short.

Not Grayson-like.

His pacing went back and forth across my bedroom door, blocking it, and every time I suggested we leave for the football party at his house, he stalled.

There's probably no one there yet. There's no rush.

I'm waiting for Jules to text me that he's back from the liquor store.

Maybe you want to pregame here first?

"Grayson Wilder Everett," I finally snapped after the third time, throwing my purse on the bed and collapsing onto it.

He blinked at me, his expression clearing from some sort of haze. It told me that he couldn't possibly imagine a reason why I would be yelling at him. He was so in his head that he didn't even realize how he was acting.

"What's going on?" I asked, softer this time. Poor guy looked like a deer in the headlights.

He raked a hand through his hair, and I watched his throat work up and down.

"I just don't think we should go to the party."

I frowned, a sort of sadness coming over me. Leaving the team had been hard on him, and watching him go through that had been hard on me. I'd tried to talk to him about it, but once he made up his mind, it was a done deal. He'd go back next fall, he said.

"They would want you to be there," I said, keeping my voice gentle. "They're your friends, baby. Your team. They're still your team." Then with a bit of a lighter tone, I added, "Besides, it is your house."

I grinned, but Grayson didn't return it. My smile faltered.

"What else is wrong?"

He shook his head. "Nothing."

I sat up straighter in bed. "Since when did Grayson Everett tell bold-ass lies?"

Grayson didn't hesitate from returning my stare, his grey eyes steely. "Since he thought it would keep Nessa Elez from getting hurt."

Something dropped into the pit of my stomach like a bomb detonating. That would be the only reason he'd ever lie.

"Trust me," he said, laughing without a touch of humor. "It's killing me."

Walking over to one side of my small bedroom, Grayson pressed his head against the wall and muttered, "I was hoping he would just be gone by now. But from what I hear, he won't fuck off. Like a pesky goddamn fly." He groaned. "I should have hit him harder."

I'd never been more confused, and the rock in my stomach grew heavier.

This didn't have anything to do with him leaving the team. Or if it did, it was more complicated than I'd initially thought. Hit? Who had he hit? Had Grayson been in a fight, and I had no idea about it?

"Who...who are you talking about?"

My first thoughts went to Quinton...but he was in jail. And Brodie and I... we'd come to an agreement of sorts. Grayson wouldn't hit him, either. So who?

Grayson lifted his head away from the wall and leveled his gaze.

"Let's just not go to the party," he pleaded.

The urge to wrap him up in a hug and say okay, baby was so strong. But not stronger than my need to know what the hell was going on.

"We can stay home if you want," I said, trying to keep my voice steady, "but you gotta tell me what's going on."

He grimaced.

"Grayson...who—"

"I've always said that I'd kick your ex's ass, Nessa," he cut in. "And honestly, I was happy to have the opportunity to shove him around a bit. Wish I would have done even more. But still, I didn't think it was gonna go like this."

Dread settled in my bones. Oh no. Oh no no no no.

"My ex?" I repeated, my voice breathy.

"Jasper," he croaked.

I knew it had to be Jasper; he was my only ex. But that didn't make hearing his name any easier. It had become like a curse to me, representing so many things that I wished I could delete from my life's story.

"You saw Jasper?"

Grayson's tone was flat, full of repressed emotion when he answered. "He took my spot on the team."

"No."

No. Definitely not. That definitely didn't happen. Couldn't happen. Wouldn't happen.

In no world could Jasper take any spot of Grayson's.

But Grayson nodded his head slowly. And even though I didn't want to believe it, he was convincing me with his eyes that it was true.

"And he wants you back," he added, his face twisting in pure, physical disgust that I felt all throughout my body.

There was a long pause while I tried to get words out of my mouth. "There's no way that's true."

"Why...Nessa, why wouldn't that be true?" He asked the question slowly, carefully. His tone was different, a bit sidetracked from the mood he was in a second before.

But wasn't it obvious? "Because he flat-out dumped me, Grayson."

Taking that in, Grayson nodded. He took a step toward me, kneeling on the end of the bed as I curled up by the pillows. His eyes were adorably soft. And concerned.

"But you know you're worth fighting for, right?" he asked. "You believe that about yourself, right?"

"I—" Did I?

Grayson inched his way up the bed.

"If for some reason we ever broke up, I'd do anything. Anything to get you back, Adler."

My heart leaped into my throat.

"But Jasper is nothing like you," I said in a small comment that seemed bigger than this whole room. Than the whole world.

Grayson liked it. I could tell by the twitch of his lips.

"And I've always deserved more than him," I added. Because that was something I definitely knew.

A grin broke out onto Grayson's face. "Damn right you do."

I shook my head. "But I just don't see him wanting me back. He lost interest the second that we slept together."

A muscle in Grayson's jaw tensed. His smile quickly flattened.

"Nessa, he made it very clear that he picked OSU because he wanted to get his ex back."

Despite feeling sick to my stomach, I shrugged. "Maybe it's someone else."

"He said your name." Grayson pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. "I almost lost my shit."

I leaned forward on the bed, disbelief threading through all my veins and arteries. It mingled with my blood, pushing all that emotion straight into my heart. "What?"

Grayson didn't seem to want to expand on it, settling with a curt nod that told me everything I needed to know.

"Oh, hell no."

After jumping off my bed, I grabbed my purse and marched toward the door.

Jasper Monroe didn't get to do that. He didn't get to just show up here after over a year and talk about me in the locker room like we still meant something to each other. He especially didn't get to say those things to my boyfriend, who looked like he was all but ready to throttle someone. Someone named Jasper.

Yanking Grayson with me, I fled out of our apartment and onto the street, ready to speed walk the three blocks to the party. But as we got closer to Grayson's house, I started to lose some of my bravado.

The thought of seeing Jasper again was...well, I didn't know what it was, but it didn't leave me with a good feeling. No matter how pissed I was, my anxiousness began to fight for control over my anger. Jasper was someone I had clearly labeled as being in the past; he wasn't allowed to simply show up in the present.

When I slowed my steps, Grayson's hand came to hover over the small of my back.

"Do you know for sure that he's going to be there?" I asked, hesitant.

He shook his head. "I don't. The team hasn't exactly been...welcoming to him. But he still might show up. I don't know. Jules said he was explicitly invited, but you know how word gets around."

My feet stopped moving, and Grayson sighed, trying one more time to sidetrack the night.

"Why don't we go back to your place, baby? We can watch a movie with Beau and Collins and pretend it isn't weird between them."

I wanted to laugh, but I couldn't.

Taking a step closer to me, Grayson muttered into my hair. "I really don't like the idea of him being in the same room as you."

Honestly, I didn't either. But...

"I'm not going to let him do this, Grayson." I looked up at his all-too-handsome face. "This is your house. These are our friends. He doesn't get to come here and drive me away. I was here first."

The urge to stomp my feet on the ground and stake my claim was strong, but somehow I resisted.

Even though I could tell Grayson was apprehensive, there was also a spark of something that appeared in his eyes. Pride?

"Are you sure?"

"I'm sure."

I didn't need Grayson to kick Jasper Monroe's ass. I'd gladly do it myself.

💗

will he be there? 🙈

so based on your comments in the last chapter...what I'm hearing is that we want a julian book? 👀

xoxo amelie