G R A Y S O N

—
S O P H O M O R E Y E A R

a grayson pov of chapter thirty in
we fall like ashes

Julian wasn't drinking.

I couldn't remember another time in the last year and a half when there had been a party and Julian had passed on alcohol. This was the guy who won every drinking game that had ever been invented, who could shoot tequila like water, who had the tolerance of a goddamn ox. And tonight, he hadn't even touched his beer. Which was otherwise known as piss water if you talked to Beau.

Not that anyone was really talking to Beau tonight. He was understandably distracted with Collins, making himself busy by glaring at any guy within a five-foot radius of her, Bren and myself excluded. Had no idea Beau could glare until recently, but here we were.

Honestly, I was proud of the dude. Took him long enough, but he made it happen. After that night in the hot tub, I knew it was only a matter of time. Any passerby would have thought they were dating, and the silence on the way home the next morning when Collins insisted to the rest of us that she and Beau were just friends was....palpable.

Friends? Literally no one believed you, Collins.

But the denial period was over, and now everything was right in the world. Everything, including the gorgeous girl standing in my arms as I surveyed the crowd. Nessa leaned into me, dragging her body down my front in a little dance move that stirred parts of me that I'd been trying desperately to tame tonight.

"Adler," I groaned. "You can't do that right now."

"Why not?" she said, a coy smile spreading on her lips as she looked up at me. Whiskey fire was in her eyes, and it was a dangerous thing. Tonight felt like an important party to be at, with Julian on the verge of some kind of weird breakdown and with Beau's ongoing relationship declaration. Still, I wanted nothing more than to drag Nessa to my bedroom.

She was wearing a skirt. A really fucking short skirt, and I wanted to get beneath it.

It wasn't just the skirt, though.

She'd been nervous about tonight—her first time at a party since Jasper fucking Monroe released that video of them from high school. It took confidence to show up like she had earlier, standing tall and looking stunning to the core. She radiated all that beautiful Nessa energy, and I selfishly wanted to keep all of it.

"You know why," I muttered in her ear, scraping my teeth along the back of it.

"I'm just dancing," she protested before deliberately grinding her ass into my crotch. Next to us, Madie giggled, which honestly only served to urge Nessa on instead of convincing her to stop. Since there was clearly an audience.

But the audience in consideration was tipsy as fuck. Bren glanced over at us, raising his brow while tipping his beer bottle toward me. A smirk graced his lips before he whispered something in Madie's ear. And the way she bit down on her lip told me I should be thankful the music was too loud to catch whatever Bren said.

The two of them were so gone. Nessa had taken no more than a sip or two of her drink, but she buzzed regardless. It was her spirit more than anything. And Julian was still stone cold sober, sulking next to me.

Leaning toward him, I hissed in his ear. "By the time I get back, I hope the stick is out of your ass."

All Julian did was grunt in reply, his eyes tracking the movements of his sister and his sister's best friend, both here visiting this weekend. Gemma and Juniper were across the room as they chatted with our other roommates.

"Back?" Nessa questioned, turning around in my arms to face me. "Where are you going?"

Her adorably sad expression was enough for me to cave in and scoop her up into my arms, enjoying the tight gasp she made when I plucked her off the ground.

"We are going up to my room," I said before taking the stairs two at a time, eager to get Nessa alone.

"Grayson!" she squealed, pounding a fist against my shoulder hard enough to make me laugh with her fiery strength. God, I loved her.

"This is your fault, darling," I said, putting her down as soon as I'd closed the door behind us. My room at Julian's place—now my place—was small and basic. I had a few pieces of OSU football paraphernalia and some instruments in cases stacked next to my keyboard. Most importantly, though, I had a very comfortable bed. Comfortable enough that I could usually convince Nessa to stay in it every morning for as long as possible. "I gave you plenty of warnings down there."

"I don't want to miss out on anything," she whined.

"You consider coming upstairs with me missing out?" I cleared my throat. "Ouch, Adler. I think you just might have to pay for that."

That seemed to pique Nessa's interest. She raised a coy brow at me before waltzing over to my bed and dropping onto it, crossing her legs. It was a sultry tease, and I was here for it. Now that we weren't surrounded by a crap ton of people, I could let my mind have at her.

I imagined uncrossing those legs again, dragging my lips over her skin. She didn't have tights on for once, and thank god for that.

"Oh?" She smiled. "How so?"

I chuckled, walking across the room to slip a finger beneath her chin and tip it up, forcing her to look at me. "Suddenly not so interested in what's happening downstairs, huh?"

My finger slid down her throat and between the valley of her breasts, ending at the waistband of her skirt. Nessa's breaths were visibly harsh, and she bit down on her lip.

"Not interested at all," she said breathily.

You have no idea how glad I am to hear that, Adler.

"Well, that's too bad. Because we'll be heading back down there in a second." Dropping my hand, I walked toward my nightstand with purpose, wondering if I was just a little bit out of my mind for this plan. Opening the top drawer, I found what I was looking for before turning to drop to my knees in front of Nessa. "Take off your underwear." When she hesitated, I added, "Now."

"I'm not going down there without underwear, Grayson," she said hotly. "This skirt is far too short for that.

I shook my head with a wolfish grin. "You think I'd risk any one else seeing what's mine? No, darling. That isn't what's happening."

Though confused, Nessa lifted her hips and wiggled her underwear from beneath her skirt. When they were stretched over her thighs, I helped her out, tugging down.

"Then what—oh."

Nessa cut off as soon as she saw what was in my hands, what I'd slipped into her underwear.

"Grayson..." she started, her voice a wisp of desire.

"You said yourself you didn't want to miss out on anything happening downstairs. And I think you need to learn what it's like to be teased. What do you think?"

I patted her hip, indicating for her to lift it again so I could slip her underwear back into place. Nessa obeyed, even as indecision danced in her eyes. I could see that she wanted it, but it was wild, even for us. Not that I thought anyone would notice—they were all long gone by now, drowning in their other halves.

"Yes," Nessa breathed, crossing her legs again, almost as if she could squeeze the wanting she felt away. She looked up at me, and with a blink of her eyes, they became clear. They were begging. "Yes, Grayson."

"Yes?" I asked, cocking my head to the side. You know, just to make sure I heard her correctly. Unlocking my phone, I flicked to the right app while waiting for her reply, which I just knew was going to be—

"Yes, Grayson," she pushed out with annoyance.

Yep, there it was.

"God, I love you."

"I—"

Nessa's whole body immediately responded to the low vibrations that I'd turned on with a press of a button. Her back arched, her legs clenched, her head whipped back. What a gorgeous sight.

"I hope you were about to say that you love me too."

"I was," she cried, her throat scratchy. "Even though you're so fucking ridiculous."

My smile would crack if it got any wider. "I am?"

Nessa moaned, her hips lifting up to signify that she wanted more. So I gave her more.

"Yes," she sighed, and I wasn't sure if it was an answer to my question or just a signal that she liked what I'd given her.

Fuck, I knew this was supposed to serve as a tease to her, as payback for downstairs, but I'd be damned if this wasn't making it worse for me, too. I could barely move because I was so stricken by how much I needed her.

But that would have to wait. There was a party downstairs to attend, after all.

Turning off the vibrator, I slipped my phone into my pocket and watched Nessa's body relax again. Melt. Her expression fell with irritation.

"Let's go, Adler," I said, jerking my head sideways toward the door.

Nessa scowled. "You're such a—"

"Tease?" I finished for her.

Rolling her eyes, Nessa pushed off the bed and walked toward the door. But right when she was about to slip out into the hallway, she looked back at me and gave me a private smile. It was my smile. The one she gave me and me alone.

"Are you coming, Wilder?" she asked softly. Ah, my secretly soft girl.

"I'm coming," I replied, matching her expression with a grin of my own. Reaching out, I managed to wrap an arm around her waist before she stepped into the hallway. Brushing her hair out of the way, I nipped at her ear. "And soon you will be, too."

Nessa laughed breathily at that. No protest or indignation, which told me she wanted it more than she'd ever put into words.

****

"You're still doing it."

Julian didn't even look at me. "Doing what?"

"You're still sulking in this corner."

With Nessa in the kitchen with Madie, I'd taken up my post next to Jules again.

"I am not sulking," he grumbled. "What I'm doing is trying to restrain myself from punching fucking Noah for having the audacity to hit on my sister in front of me."

I trailed my gaze across the room to where Gemma and Juni were still chatting with Noah and Jonah. Did Noah look interested in them? Hell yeah, he did. But in a polite way. He was engaged in their conversation, laughing and purposefully keeping his distance, sitting on the arm of the chair in the corner of the room while the girls stood around him. To say he was hitting on Gemma went a little far.

"Chill, Jules. He's not doing a damn thing. They're just talking."

"Just talking, my ass," Julian growled, crossing his arms over his chest as he continued to glare.

From my point of view, it was hard not to notice how his eyes kept flicking to Juni more than his sister, and I tried to hide my smile. It became increasingly hard as Juni broke away from the group to walk toward us, and Julian suddenly straightened.

He didn't uncross his arms, though, and his expression remained sullen when she stopped in front of us. Nessa came up next to me simultaneously, and I glanced down to see her looking in my direction. Hesitation lingered in that look. I chuckled, fiddling with my phone and watching as Nessa kept her eyes on it, biting down on her lip.

I couldn't decide if she was drugged more by anticipation or desire, but her eyes shone bright.

"Do you have a bathroom?" Juni chirped, pulling my attention away from Nessa.

"No, no bathrooms. Just an outhouse in the backyard." Julian rolled his eyes. "Of course we have a bathroom, Lily."

Juniper sighed, also rolling her eyes—though I suspected it was more because of Julian's insistence on using any name but her correct one. "You knew what I meant, Julian."

"If you're going to be a lawyer, you have to say what you mean," he grumbled. "Words matter when you're sitting in a courtroom."

"God, you're unbelievable," she said with an exasperated sigh. "I can't believe you're lecturing me at a party." Juni narrowed her eyes. "I am one hundred percent positive that I'll be a better lawyer than you'll ever be, Mr. Briggs."

"Not a lecture. Just a friendly reminder," Julian said. But he stiffened when Juni pushed past him, muttering beneath her breath about how she'd find the bathroom on her own.

Jules was hot on her tail, though, cursing as he took off. Rushing up behind her, he put his hand on her lower back to guide Juni in the opposite direction of where she'd been heading, pushing her toward the bathroom down the same hallway as Julian's room.

And then he settled up against the wall there, loitering outside his room, arms folded over chest.

"Well, that was interesting," Nessa said with a laugh before she went still, realizing I'd unlocked my phone.

"Not as interesting as this will be," I said before pushing that little magic button and watching Nessa grow as taut as a plucked string. She grabbed my arm, digging her nails in before hiding her face against my bicep. I felt her moan vibrate against my skin, washing delicious heat through me.

The hand that held her drink was anything but steady, and whiskey coke splashed over the cup's rim. It had still been completely full; Nessa was apparently too busy with other things tonight to actually drink it.

Chuckling, I punched the button again to turn it off and waited for Nessa to peek up at me.

"Grayson," she whispered before looking around, almost as though she was afraid someone would notice.

But no one was paying attention to us. Beau was dancing with his new girl, and Madie and Bren were nowhere in sight. Julian, well....Julian clearly had his own problems in the form of a spunky brunette.

"Yeah?" I kissed the top of Nessa's head. "Still worried about missing out on the party, or do you want to go back upstairs?"

"Back upstairs," she murmured, but then Juni and Julian took that moment to sweep in front of us again, bickering about god knows what while they tracked off toward Gemma and Noah.

Nessa's eyes followed them, and I took her moment of distraction to slip my fingers into my pocket and press go.

This time the noise that Nessa made almost tore me apart from the inside out, and admittedly, it was a little loud, even with the music thumping around us. Her nails pressed into my skin again, hard enough that I'd have tiny half-moon marks decorating my arm, and I decided that enough was enough. Plucking her drink out of her grasp to set it down on a side table, I grabbed Nessa's hand and let her squeeze mine while tugging her back toward the stairs.

In seconds, we were in my room again, Nessa was back on the bed, and my body hovered over hers.

"Please, baby," Nessa whimpered, and that was more than I could fucking handle.

My mouth took hers with a hot and heavy kiss. Nessa was everywhere. All around me. Her hair tangled between us, her sweet scent floating around like a cloud. My tongue tangled with hers, and I got lost in the onslaught of sensations, both new and familiar. It was entirely smothering, yet I felt like I could finally breathe for the first time tonight.

Pressing my hips down, I pulled back and watched as Nessa's eyes flew open wider. Grinding my erection between her legs only drove us further into wild oblivion, but God, I couldn't stop. The vibrations tore through my own body like a heatwave, and I grabbed Nessa's thighs to urge them around my waist.

"Come for me first, and then I'll fuck you," I groaned.

Thankfully, that groan got lost in the thumping of the music and the crowd downstairs, and I knew that no matter how loud we were, no one would hear. But even if they did, I wouldn't care. Not right now.

Nessa wound her fingers into my hair, gasping in what I took as approval. I rocked slowly into her, letting the vibrator do the work and reaping the benefits, which was getting to see Nessa's sweet face transform.

"I know this is a little lazy," I muttered, getting a real good look at her. Her cheeks flushed, her tongue darted out to lick her lips, her eyes hazed over. "And it's all but killing me not to touch you myself, but damn, Adler. There's nothing quite like this. Nothing quite like getting the chance to sit back without distractions and watch you light up."

Her mouth fell open as if on cue, eyes falling back as she searched for something. And I didn't like that it wasn't me.

"Grayson," she moaned, closing her eyes tight for a moment.

"You know better, Adler," I chided, grabbing her legs and hoisting her higher around my waist so she could feel every inch of me. Shit, I felt like I would explode any goddamn minute, so it really was all of me. "Where are you supposed to look when you say my name like that?" Her eyes flew open, finding me. "There's my girl. Eyes here, baby."

Her fingers twisted in my hair almost painfully as she looked up at me. Full-out desperation was in that look. Those brown eyes sparkled in the most beautiful way. They always did when she let herself open up to me like this. Like a shade had been pulled down, and I got to see all of her. Goddamn, I loved it.

"You know what to do," I whispered, sensing that she needed some encouragement. And then I lowered my voice. "Let go, baby."

Nessa sucked in, but she didn't come. If anything, she grew even tighter, wrapping around me like she could squeeze an orgasm out.

"I'm trying," she gasped.

A low chuckle rumbled through my voice. "Don't hurt yourself, darling."

She dug her nails into my scalp, a deep scowl forming on her face, breaking through an expression of agonizing pleasure. "Can you not laugh while I'm over here—"

Her words shredded down into a moan.

"I'm not laughing," I insisted, smirking. "I take your orgasms very seriously. Pride myself on them, Adler."

"Then finish what you goddamn started, Grayson Everett," she forced through gritted teeth. "Maybe since you're so good with your hands, you should do something with them."

My heart damn near skipped a beat. Which in any other circumstance would have been concerning. But in bed with Nessa, it was a regular occurrence. "If you insist."

That was all it took to have Nessa stripped down to nothing, protesting when I threw her underwear onto the floor. Even without the vibrations, though, her body shook slightly as I undressed. Oh, fuck. This was going to be fun.

I started by molding my hands up Nessa's sides. I soaked in all those little quivers, all the squirming her body did to find any sort of satisfying touch. When I traced a fingertip lightly around her nipple, Nessa bit down on her bottom lip and glared at me.

"What?" I raised a brow. "You wanted me to use my hands, didn't you?"

"Not what I meant," she said, arching beneath me.

"Then what did you mean?"

My hands lowered, using the opportunity to urge her legs around my waist again before getting a good grip on her ass. A nice little squeeze. Too little for Nessa.

"Grayson."

"Yes?"

"Touch me," she begged, and that was when I knew she must be desperate. I'd barely had to put in any work at all to get her spill what she wanted.

I kissed her gently, breathing across her lips. "You want my fingers in your pussy, baby? Fingering has always been my forte."

I took the strangled, exasperated sound she made as a yes. But instead of giving that to her, I swallowed down another chuckle and gave a different option. "Or maybe you want more than my hands right now. That it?"

"Yes," she breathed. "Anything. Just stop playing games and—"

The second she'd said yes, I'd drawn back, slid my tip through the wetness between her legs to test how ready she was—very ready, by the way—and thrust inside her.

"Does this feel like a fucking game to you?" I groaned, breathing harshly against her skin.

How had I forgotten how goddamn good she felt? It was a rediscovery every time I sank inside her.

Nessa cried out at first but then grew silent, something I knew happened when she was so close to the edge that even the slightest movement would send her reeling. Her eyes raced, but her body stayed still, lips parted, heart thumping.

"Let's try this again," I panted, slowly pulling back out in preparation. Fuck, her walls were already squeezing in on me, and I knew I wasn't going to last any time at all. But neither would she. "Come, Nessa."

I slammed into her, and heaven help me, she fell apart. I fought the urge to freeze and enjoy that delicious tightening on my dick, but I rode her through it, making it last as long as fucking possible. Until she started muttering my name like she didn't think she would make it through another thrust.

"I know you can handle more, darling," I gritted out, and she nodded, inflating beneath my praise. "You always do. Just a little—"

Nessa, deciding to take things into her own hypothetical hands, clenched around me, and I lost it. I lost myself in her, and my entire bedroom grew fuzzy for a long, earth-shattering moment. Nessa had no mercy on me, smiling with payback in her eyes as she continued to absolutely destroy me with tiny, controlled spasms that I felt everywhere.

Finally, I collapsed onto the bed beside her, and she immediately rolled into me, tucking herself close. I tried to catch my breath, but man, it was hard.

"If that was a game, I think we're both winners, baby," I sighed.

"I think so, too." I felt her nod, her smile sweet against my skin. "I love you, Grayson. I love you so much."

"You're my whole world, Wednesday," I whispered.

She peeked at me with a playful smile. "That mean you love me, too?"

"That means I love you more."

Nessa scowled at my response, and I honestly fell in love with her all over again.