NESSA

That did not just happen.

I did not just orgasm in front of Grayson Everett from a little bit of ice—okay, a lot of ice—and the perfect amount of pressure. There was no way. No way that his voice calling me darling was what got me off in the end. No way that he groaned loudly afterward and told me that I was perfect before pushing away from me like I'd burned him.

Water sprayed at the ground, splashing our feet. I was panting, chest heaving as I tried not to sink to the floor of the shower. My hand was flat on the wall as if that were enough to hold me up.

My body tingled, still. The mixture of heat and ice and Grayson had sent me over the edge. And it felt like I was still falling.

He was gripping the walls, too. Grayson stood at the entrance to the shower, head down as he held onto the stall with white knuckles.

Without him next to me, I felt cold. Without his eyes, I felt empty.

"Grayson."

He shook his head, hair damp and dripping.

"Look at me," I rasped. "I want you to look at me."

I didn't care that I was naked except for my sports bra. Part of me wanted to shed that, too, and then watch his gaze roam over me. Right now, after being told I was fucking perfect in that low, husky voice, I was confident enough to want that.

I wished he'd let me touch him. I mean, come on. That wasn't even part of the deal. Grayson was hard and wet and hot, and at this very moment, I'd do just about anything to be able to touch him.

But he shook his head and turned abruptly away without even glimpsing in my direction. He raised his arms as he walked, lacing his fingers behind his head like he was trying to catch a breath after a race.

"Stop, Nessa," he finally choked out. "I can't."

I didn't bother asking why because I knew why.

A war battled within me, a push and pull between the things I wanted. Because the truth was that I couldn't have it all, and I needed to decide. But before I could do that, before I could measure and weigh my choices,  words slipped out of my mouth.

"It's okay, Grayson," I whispered, tentative and barely audible above the spray of the shower. "It's okay to touch me."

He froze. For one split second, he froze. Heat and hope swelled in equal measure. But then he shook his head again, and all of that disappeared.

His body turned to the side so he could talk over his shoulder without looking at me. "I'm not doing a damn thing until you're positive you want something more. That already went way further than I'd meant for it to. I'm sorry, Nessa."

"But I—"

"No, I need you to sound a hell of a lot more sure than that before I get my hands on you." He exhaled heavily. "I'm going to get changed. Take your time cleaning up."

When Grayson walked away, my legs finally gave up, and I slid down the shower wall, hoping to God that I didn't end up covered in athlete sweat and body fluids.

****

I didn't see Grayson over the next few days. And I wondered if I'd finally pushed him too far. Maybe he'd grown tired of waiting for me, or he needed to turn to someone else to—

No, I refused to believe that. Not after he so firmly told me that there were no other girls. I needed to trust that he was busy. He did have a ton of commitments, and it was nearing midterms. That was all. It had to be.

I knew it wouldn't be too long before I saw him again, but what I hadn't expected was to return from class one afternoon to find Grayson sleeping in my bed.

He faced the door, lying with one arm tossed behind his head, propping him up. He had on khaki chinos and his favorite football quarter zip, and it looked like he'd dozed off while waiting for me.

Something lurched annoyingly in my chest.

Madie was nowhere in sight, though, which made me frown. I knew her class schedule, and she should have been here.

After tossing my bag by my desk, I walked over to Grayson and bent down to cup his face. A five o'clock shadow bristled against my palm.

"Wilder?" I whispered.

I felt him jerk a little as he woke, but his eyes stayed closed as one giant palm came to cover mine, holding it against his cheek.

"There you are," he murmured, a sleepy smile growing on his face. "Fucking longest class ever."

I laughed and tried to move my hand away. He wouldn't let me, though, holding it tighter.

"I had to talk to my professor a bit after lecture." I paused. "Why are you here?"

Giving in, he released my hand and opened his eyes.

"Waiting for you."

"Well, obviously. But why?"

He sat up and patted the bed, expression suddenly serious.

I frowned. "What?"

"Just sit down, Adler."

"Why?"

"Just—" He sighed, impatient. Grabbing my hips, he plopped my ass onto the bed and then didn't let go. I ignored the bit of thrill that ran through me. "There."

"Was that really necessary?"

He nodded, still solemn. "Yes."

"Why?"

"Jesus Christ," he muttered beneath his breath before clearing his throat and finding my eyes with his. So pretty. So blue. "I ran into Brodie in the hallway earlier. He was with Madie."

I immediately tried to push up from the bed, but Grayson held me fast. "What the hell did he—?"

"He didn't do anything," Grayson cut in. "Not really. Actually, Madie deployed her little keychain taser on him when he walked up to her, and he was complaining like a little bitch."

A grin made its way onto my face at that. But it fell as I watched Grayson bite his lip worriedly. He was always so calm, so sure of everything. And the Grayson before me wasn't displaying any of that usual confidence.

"It turns out that Brodie's mom," he began slowly, "is dating Bren's dad. And he was telling Madie about it."

He paused, waiting for that to sink in. Which it didn't really, because what?

"Bren's dad is uh...a bit crazy, right?" Grayson went on to say.

I nodded. Murderer, crazy, possessive, stalker—it all fit.

"Well, I guess he hates Madie, and he's been blackmailing Brodie to harass her. Saying he's gonna fuck with his mom." After swallowing, Grayson lowered his voice. "I know it was shitty of him, but Brodie's mom is the only family he has."

All I could do was blink, trying to make sense of this. I looked around the room.

"Where's Madie?"

His grip on my hips tightened, and I didn't like it. Not because I didn't like it when Grayson touched me. But because I was worried about what it meant.

"Beau's driving her to Fresno. To see Bren."

Oh, well, that wasn't so bad. Even if I felt a little left out that they were all going without me.

But then Grayson licked his lips to add, "I guess Bren has a sting operation planned with the cops to arrest his dad. Tonight."

I sucked in a breath. Madie told me that Bren was hoping to pull something like that off, but—

"Bren is going to kill her for being anywhere near Fresno when that goes down."

Grayson nodded, but really slowly. In a way that made me narrow my eyes at him. He blew a breath through his teeth.

"Brodie said that Bren's dad knows about the cops. Bren's walking into a trap. And he wouldn't answer his phone when Madie tried calling."

Dread, sickly sweet like poison, rushed into the pit of my stomach.

"So all of my friends are off to rendezvous with a murderer? And I'm here?"

For a second time, I tried to shoot off the bed, but Grayson was ten times stronger than me, and I barely moved.

"Yes, you're here. And you'll be staying here. With me," he said firmly before adding, "Madie's orders."

"Grayson, I can't just—"

"Yes, you can."

"But—"

"No."

Tension, anxiety, and anger swirled in my gut. Grayson was Mr. Easy-Going. Not Mr. Dominant. And it was pissing me off because Mr. Dominant was making the world's worst timed entrance.

I huffed in silence for a few minutes, stewing in my helplessness. I couldn't just wait around my dorm and do nothing.

"I need some water," I said, annoyed by the massive lump in my throat. Pointing at the water bottle over Grayson's shoulder, I nodded at it.

He sighed, and I knew he felt bad for me. But that wasn't what I needed right now. And so when his hand disappeared from my hip to grab the water, I didn't waste a single second before bolting off my bed and running to the door. Whipping it open, I darted into the hallway, ignoring Grayson as he yelled, exasperated, after me.

"Nessa, you don't even have a car."

Well, shit. He was definitely right about that.

Maybe if I ran to his car, he would take me.

Footsteps raced up behind me, and before I knew it, large hands were flinging my entire body into the air. After tossing me over his shoulder, Grayson slapped a palm on my ass to keep me there. A little yelp escaped my lips as a poorly timed surge of arousal flooded me.

Pushing that away, I pouted as I stared at his backside. I knew better than to try to get down from here. I'd probably break my neck. And ugh, Grayson's pants were doing nothing to hide how nicely shaped his ass was.

"It's better that we go to my room anyway," he grumbled as he stopped to open a door, which I assumed was for his dorm instead of mine. Pushing his way into it, I recognized his backpack on the floor, sitting next to an OSU sweatshirt.

"Why is it better?" I asked, feeling all the blood rush to my head.

"Because there's a madman who hates your roommate, and if anyone comes looking for her, where do you think they're gonna go?"

I rolled my eyes even though I supposed he had a point.

With me still over his shoulder, Grayson kicked his shoes into his closet.

"Are you gonna put me down?"

"Actually, I'm a little annoyed," he said tersely, ignoring me. "Madie has danger coming at her from all sides, and—" He paused, giving his shoe an extra kick for no reason. "And did you know about it? About Bren's dad stalking her and shit?"

I shrugged an upside-down shrug. "Yeah."

"Fuck, Nessa. You're with her all the time. You could have gotten hurt, too."

With that, Grayson tossed me down onto his bed. Which I knew immediately was his bed because the spicy cologne he always wore filled my nostrils. And even though it felt so comfortable, so much like home, I tried to pop up immediately.

But Grayson was quicker than me. He bent over me, taking my wrists and pinning me to the bed. He was breathing heavily, which surprised me since I figured he ran around tackling people all the time. But then I realized there was a spark in his steely gaze as it roamed my face.

"You're enjoying this."

"The fact that your friends are in danger, and I'm trying to keep you out of it?" He raised a brow. "No, absolutely not."

Then his voice dropped, and those eyes of his flicked over me. "The fact that you're in my bed? Definitely."

If I was honest with myself, I was enjoying it, too. But before I could say anything, Grayson swore beneath his breath and pushed off me. He turned toward the door, raking a hand through his short hair. But when I moved to sit up, he glared back at me.

"Usually I adore how stubborn you are, Nessa. But today is different, and you better not move your ass from that bed," he threatened.

I glared back at him. "And if I do move from the bed?"

Grayson just stared at me, jaw ticking. I could tell he had a comeback on the tip of his tongue, but he was trying to decide if he dared to say it.

So I said it for him.

I cocked my head to the side. "Will you find a way to keep me in it?"

At that, he looked at the ceiling, shaking his head. The room was silent except for a light howling of wind outside.

Grayson eventually lowered his gaze again. "Are you testing me right now, darling?"

I shrugged, ignoring the surge of butterflies in the pit of my stomach.

"Maybe."

He stared at me for another long, heated moment. I dared him with my eyes to cross the room. To follow through with all of the unspoken thoughts that neither of us dared to say. Well, I didn't dare. He undoubtedly would if he could.

Giving up, Grayson looked back at the ceiling, probably wondering what the hell he'd gotten himself into with me.

"Just stay," he said softly. "Please."

I heaved a sigh, falling back against his bedpost with the heart-swelling realization that I would have loved it if he'd made me.

💗

a surprise update for you.
i've looked forward to writing that lil bit
ever since Nessa told Madie about it on the phone in TFWS.

xoxo amelie