"You're doing okay," Emily said to him. "And Talia loves you. It could've been way worse for her, you know."

He stared at the patterns on the wooden surface of the table, tracing the lines with his eyes. Looking at her directly was something he seemed to be avoiding. "It could've been better, too."

Emily felt her heartbeat where their hands were touching. "Trust me," she said. Although it felt like her skin was burning where it touched his hand, she didn't want to let go just yet. "I don't know her that well, but I know you—okay, maybe not that well either, but at least a little." She started stammering. "Anyway, the point is... I know you, and I know you're doing everything you can to protect her and give her the life she deserves. And that's all she needs."

His eyes stopped tracing the lines in the wood, freezing in place, before he looked up and their eyes met. She felt a shiver down her spine when they did, the look in his eyes frightening her. They weren't bright as they had been all day, but instead showed her his soul: sad, low-spirited and desolate. She doubted whether he believed any word she said.

"River?" she asked when they had been sitting there for a while, not saying anything. He hadn't reacted to her previous comment yet, but their eyes locked. The only sounds came from other people in the restaurant, talking or shuffling while finding their way to a table.

His eyes closed and he sighed deeply. "Yes," he said slowly. "Yes, I know." He withdrew his hand from hers and hid it under the table. He turned his head to look outside, where the sun was hanging low and the whole sky had turned orange. Lost in a daydream, he said, "But it's not that easy."

Emily found it difficult that he suddenly avoided eye contact and wasn't an open book anymore. She wanted to talk to him because there seemed more going on than he was letting on. The problem was way bigger than the lack of trust he seemed to have in himself and the guilt he beared.

"Talk to me, then," she tried. "Let it out. Talia's not here, and she doesn't have to know about this."

He remained frozen in his seat, his shoulders tense as he continued to stare outside, not moving an inch.

"I'll leave soon," she said, but the words hurt. She didn't want to go home yet, partly because she didn't want to explain herself to her parents and partly because she didn't want to leave him. "And we'll never see each other again after that." Her tone was soft and kind; she wanted him to know that he could trust her. If there was something bothering him, it was better he let it out instead of bottling it up—and who better to do it with than a stranger? "It can't hurt talking, right?"

She noticed his jaw clenching, but he shook his head, and Emily had no idea what it meant.

"I just..." he started. "It's—" He took a deep breath and his head turned back to face her. "I can't do it by myself," he said then in a deep, quiet voice. She had trouble understanding him, but his facial expression told her enough.

"What do you mean?" she asked him.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I... just can't," he said again. "I can't take care of her. She deserves someone better than me, a life that's better than the one we share."

Emily opened her mouth to say something, but he didn't let her.

"I'm not enough," he continued, and his voice broke. His eyes were watery and suddenly he didn't seem to have a problem with letting all his troubles out. There was a quiver in his voice when he talked. "This is not the first time I've been fired, you know. It's my third job this year and it's only February. My salary is just enough to get by, but I have trouble keeping a job because I'm such a klutz." He shook his head and mumbled to himself, "Why do I have to be such a klutz?"

"Come on, River," she said, and in that moment it was just the two of them, alone. They weren't in a restaurant anymore, all the other people had disappeared, and only they mattered now. "It was not your fault you got fired. Your boss exaggerated; he should've given you another chance."

"He already did," he answered. "It was my fifth chance and I still managed to ruin it." His hand curled up into a fist. "Yesterday, I pushed open the kitchen door and knocked someone out while doing so. Three days ago, I burned the hands of my colleague when I spilled some coffee. She has scars from those burns that will stay forever. What if she wanted to be a hand model?"

"She probably doesn't want to be a—"

"I ruined that chance for her," he continued ranting, raising his voice. "The day before, I came to work wearing the wrong uniform—I hadn't returned the uniform from when I worked at The Coffee Company, a cafe just down the street from The Hot Spot. Atkinson was furious!"

Emily frowned when she heard the name Atkinson, but assumed that it was his boss. Asking River himself however wouldn't give her the answer; he was too fed up to pay attention to her.

"Do you want me to go on?" he said.

"Not really—"

His hand hit the table in frustration. "I ruined it, Emily. There's no employer that will ever want to hire me after this."

He averted his gaze again, staring at a couple elsewhere in the restaurant. At the same time, she couldn't help but wonder if it was really as bad as he said it was. The responsibilities of a job unfamiliar to her, she had had no idea of how important a job was for him.

"I'm just... Over it, you know?" he mumbled. "I'm done." He didn't look at her when he said this. "But at the same time, I can't be done. That's not how it works. My parents died, I have to take care of Talia—and whatever happens, I can't let her down."

There was no emotion in his voice when he said this, and it scared her. She didn't know what to say to him, and that's why she said, "It will be okay." But she knew it wouldn't, and she knew this wouldn't help him. How many times had people told her that everything would be alright one day? She'd never believed them when they'd said the fear would go away.

Sometimes, life just screwed you over and there was nothing you could do about it. That was true for Emily and the trauma she had to live with, but also for River, who was always accompanied by worry.

He slowly shook his head, his eyes still fixed on the same couple as before. "It doesn't matter if it will," he said. "I'm just tired."

Emily bit her lip. "Well," she said, "let's take a break. Today, there's no work you have to go to or jobs you have to look for. Look on the bright side: today is your day." It was something she reminded herself of often. There was no one else, besides Jason of course, who knew what she'd gone through or who could help her. She felt lonely a lot of the time. However, that did not mean she had to give up; she'd been given a second chance at life, so why waste it? "Don't let anyone—not Mr. Atkinson, nor me, nor anyone else—take that away from you."

"But it's—"

"Difficult?" she finished his sentence. "I know. It's not supposed to be easy."

This seemed to confuse him but at least she'd gotten his attention; his face turned towards her again and he titled his head slightly, curious of what she wanted to say.

"You've been given a fresh start," she continued. "Take it! Tomorrow, you'll start all over. You'll have a photo shoot with Talia and you'll have the best of times. After that, you'll start looking for jobs again—and only take it if it's something you're really excited about."

"But—"

"Choosing something because you have to might seem the best way, but it isn't," she said, not even giving him a chance to answer. "You've not been focused, but if you love what you're doing, time will fly by and it will become easier."

He was hard to read, but he didn't seem as hopeless as he had before, which gave her the idea she was moving in the right direction.

So, she went on. "But don't blame yourself—of all the things you can do, don't blame yourself." She leaned forward and put her hands down on the table between the two of them. "You're doing everything you can, and it's enough. It's more than enough."

To that, he didn't say anything. Instead, he just looked her in the eyes, but something was different. The sparkle seemed to have returned; she found joy in those brown irises.

Did that actually work?

Her heart fluttered. She'd never giving a pep talk before, but it felt good to help others. Money wouldn't have helped him and giving him another job wouldn't have either. He needed inspiration to keep going, and although she'd doubted it would work, it did.

She smiled. "There's the optimist I know!" she said. It felt safe for her to smile again. "It's best to follow your own advice now." She remembered what he'd said at the beach clear as day; the words hadn't left her mind since he'd said it. "If it won't matter two weeks from now, why waste any time worrying about it today?"

He chuckled and his lips curled up. "Thanks, Emily," he said. In those two words, there was a feeling of gratitude and relief. This was what he'd needed to hear - and to be honest, it was advice she'd been desperate for too.

"You know what?" she said, trying to hide her satisfied smile.

He lifted up his eyebrows in curiosity.

"You could be a guide."

"A guide?" He snorted.

"I'm serious!" She quickly shot a look over her shoulder, thinking she saw something move in the corner of her eyes, before she continued. "You know the city by heart—you've lived here all your life. And there are plenty of tourists! I'm guessing every company would want to hire you as a guide."

He shook his head, grinning. "You're crazy."

"Wouldn't you want it to be true?" she asked. "You were enthusiastic when you got the chance to guide me around—and because of that, you have experience too!"

He rolled his eyes, but her excitement was contagious and he wasn't immune. When he smiled, everything seemed to go back to normal. It wasn't until then that she noticed the warm feeling that filled her up from inside out which had been there all day. 

* * *