Don't throw away your shot
(these first ones are going to be obvious)

Me: *Gets double espresso shots at Starbucks*
*drinks one*
*Is already extremely hyped on caffeine but has another shot and can't through it away cuz Hamilton told me so*
*Drinks it*
*Yells at trash can "I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT!" then runs off to victory"
*crashes into 3 trees and a pole*
*thinks* Is this the North Pole? No I'm in North America
Me: *yells* I FOUND THE EAST POLE!

(Okay idk where this is going anymore so I'm just gonna stop)