Forty
Bella stepped out of her car with her handbag in one hand, the car key and a bottle of chocolate peanut butter protein shake for Lyric in the other hand.
"Huh-uh." She said into the phone wedged between her ear and shoulder bone as she struggled to shut the car's door with her hip. She succeeded but lost the balance of her shoulder for one second and the phone slipped out. On reflex she pressed her lower body against the car to salvage the fall but it was useless, her phone tumbled to the ground and flipped under the car.
Bella hissed in annoyance. Too much stuffs in her hands and what was she even carrying the handbag for? She was just picking her daughter from school and that was hardly an occasion that called for handbags.
Re-opening the car, she tossed the offending bag in the backseat. "There, simple logic." Bella said to herself, feeling lighter. She squat down to retrieve her phone and tapped on the screen to see it still worked and her call was still ongoing. Talk about miracles.
"Hello, Todd? Yeah, sorry about that." She continued her call as she walked out of the parking lot. "I need to get that property. I promised my client they'll be able to move into their new home by September and that house is exactly what they need; big enough for a family of five and in a modest environment."
"I know." Her assistant' voice flittered through the phone. "I gave the dealer a good offer, they're just holding but they'll call us back. You'll see."
Bella hoped so. She hated disappointing her clients, especially ones who have families to shelter. "Listen," She started saying when her eyes drifted to Victoria, the woman from the group session stepping out of her own car too. They made eye contact and shared a familiar smile.
"If they didn't call us back by tomorrow noon, please check with them and make another negotiation. It's still a good deal if you up the current one by ten percent." She reasoned with him, feeling Victoria walking closely behind her.
Bella ended the call after coming to an agreement with Todd and slightly turned to offer the woman behind her another smile. "Hey." She greeted, slowing down for her to fall in steps.
"You know," Victoria started with this strange curious look on her face and Bella could just guess what would come next.
"I've been meaning to ask you this and it's none of my business so feel free to tell me to go to hell but where is Lyric' father?"
"Go to hell." Bella said without missing a beat, watching in amusement as Victoria's eyes went wide and the woman quickly threw her hands up in apology.
Bella laughed. "I'm kidding, I just couldn't resist saying that because you asked me to."
It wasn't surprising, she got asked this question a lot. At the hospital, the Academy, even random strangers at the mall or children's park. Like a woman can't just give birth for herself, because she want to.
Her answer was always either that she didn't know who Lyric' father was and she'd let them form their opinion of the kind of woman she was. Or she would simply glare at them until they got the message to back off her business.
If she told anyone that the famous Clouds was Lyric' father, they'd probably think she was some delusional fan. Or with a luck like hers, the press would get wind of it and decide to have a blast turning hers and her daughter's life upside down.
"Her father really doesn't know about us." She found herself telling Victoria. Bella felt a kindred spirit with the woman, plus she missed having friends.
Lyric was her only friend, God knew she's told the girl more than a child her age should know about their mother.
Since Bella left Metropolis she had been either too disrupted or too occupied to make new friends, not to mention that the first four years after Lyric' birth they spent more time in the hospital than they do outside of it.
Still, there were days she desperately needed someone, other than the nurses and doctors in the hospital to tell her, 'It's gonna be okay. You're not alone'
"I'm sorry, did he pass?"
Her eyes snapped to Victoria's. "What? No, he's very much alive. It's just...I don't know, it's complicated." She sighed without elaborating and Victoria didn't push. They slowly made their way to the school building in silence except for the crunching of gravel beneath their feet and a few 'hellos' to other parents getting out of their cars.
The Shooting Star Academy was a school purposely made for rehabilitating kids of different age and various illnesses, the teachers were trained paediatricians and the school was in liaison with World Health Organization. Every year, a costumed charity ball was held to raise money, not just for these kids but children all over the world and people with shiny wallets were invited to come give back to the society.
Art and crafts by the kids were also auctioned and proud parents just have to dig inside their own pockets too. This was Lyric' second year and the event was as important to her as it was to Bella. Anything that made Lyric happy was of grave importance to Bella, which was why she volunteered to be an usher for the event. So she was probably more involved than most parents.
"I'm in awe of you." Victoria said after a while, dragging Bella out of her thoughts. "I can't imagine going through all of these alone, without my husband."
Bella let out a scratchy, defeated laugh at that."We weren't married, we were barely dating." She sighed again.
"Our relationship, if you could even call it that, was fuzzy at best and I guess he had plans that didn't involve a baby or getting tied down to this crazy woman." She pointed a finger at herself, her mind going over everything she put Iverson through.
At some point, she'd stopped blaming him for leaving and not looking back and she'd learned to accept some of the blames too. In all honesty, she didn't give him much to look back to. At least he gave her a baby.
She couldn't help occasionally wondering what would have happened if she had gotten the chance to tell him though.
Would he have given up his dreams for her? For them? There would be no Clouds today and that would have been a shame, he was a real talent.
What about the struggles and challenges of Lyric's health? Would that have brought them closer or made them drift further apart? Just having an unplanned baby and at that young age when they were still trying to figure out who they were as an individual, would have definitely taken it toll on their relationship. How much more having a baby with heart defects.
The conclusion she came to and made peace with, was that this was how it was meant to be. The slightest hope she had about them was washed off when he got engaged.
It didn't matter that it was called off six months after for reasons unclear to the public but the point was that he found someone he loved enough to want to spend the rest of his life with and that someone wasn't Bella.
Not all love story end in happily ever after and clearly, theirs was only meant to be a once upon a time.
She won't lie, some days were harder. Even though she knew he was thousands of miles away, she still sometimes found herself looking for him beside her, wanting to hold his hand whenever Lyric had to go through another surgery or suffered a relapse.
Her heart filled with longing sometimes when she watched his musical videos, life performances, paparazzi pictures or award shows. But those feelings lessen by the day as she watched him keep living and enjoying his life without her.
Now, she most definitely didn't hate him, he was the father of her treasure. But she didn't love him either, that would be silly. She just...nothing him.
"I admire your strength." Victoria smiled kindly at her. "And I hope everything turn out well for you."
Bella was about to reply when the school bell went off and kids filed out of the class rooms under the supervision of their teachers and some of the kids were being wheeled out by their nannies.
Bella's eyes searched the mob of heads for the golden blond curls that belong to her daughter and when she found it, she halted mid-stride. She still get overwhelmed by the wonderful sight of her daughter from time to time, the thought that she had a hand in creating something so beautiful and precious was mind blowing.
There she was in her pink and baby blue uniform, hair richly cascading down her shoulders in soft waves, with colorful ribbons and clips here and there. Her thumbs were hooked in the straps of her small backpack and she was intently staring at her right side even as she walked forward. Victoria's son was on her other side and appeared to be trying to get her attention but she just gave him the back of her head.
Bella could tell she was mad about something. One of the many traits she got from Iverson was keeping quiet and ignoring you when she was upset.
Bella was known to be quite the opposite, she over talk when she was upset and end up saying thousand of things she'd regret later. So she was really glad that her daughter picked after Iverson in that.
When their eyes finally met, Lyric's sulky face instantly lit up and Bella's heart soared but quickly turned into panic when Lyric took off running towards her. Bella ran forward to meet her halfway, dropping into a squat with her arms opened for a hug she welcomed her daughter's tiny body slamming into hers.
"What did we say about running, Lyrical Danielle?!" Bella chastised, pulling back to look into twinkling barbie-round blue eyes.
"Don't run, don't shout, don't be normal." Lyric counted off of her tiny fingers.
Bella's jaw dropped open. "I never said that!"
She giggled dismissively and reached out for her protein shake in Bella's hand. She uncapped the bottle and latched onto it with her mouth while still watching her mother with mischievous eyes.
"Oh Aiden, how are you?" Bella called as she stood up and saw the boy standing to the side with his mother, still sulkily looking at Lyric.
Aiden met Bella's eyes for a second before quickly looking back at Lyric. "She won't talk to me, I don't know what I did wrong." He said, almost as if he was about to cry.
Bella exchanged an amused look with Victoria and they all looked at Lyric. "Honey, why won't you talk to Aiden?"
She lazily closed her protein shake bottle and turned to face Aiden with one narrowed eye, that was Bella's personal favorite. The act never fail to remind her of Iverson's infamous one narrowed eye.
"I saw you give your coloring pencil to Bethany, you like her." Lyric threw the accusation at him and he gasped, taking an unconscious step towards her.
"I gave it to Bethany because she didn't have the green one...."
"I don't have the green one also." Lyric interrupted him. Bella and Victoria kept staring at each other, pretending they weren't listening to the kids and trying not to laugh.
"I didn't know. You should have told me." Aiden reasoned wisely, taking more steps forward until he was standing in front of Lyric. "I don't like Bethany, she...she's not you." He added quietly.
Bella looked down at the both of them, feeling her heart squeezed. She had seen a lot of Iverson in their child and physically Marie Ivy would pass for Lyric's mother than Bella ever could, it was the first time she'd see a bit of herself in Lyric and she couldn't say she was proud.
Lyric's smiled shyly at Aiden, obviously pleased with his words and the boy couldn't be more happy as a grin lit his young face. After he and his mother bid their goodbyes, Bella squat back down to Lyric's eye levelled.
"Listen honey," She started, gently running her hands up and down Lyric's arms. "I know this may be hard for you to understand right now but never forget, mommy told you to believe only half of what you see and nothing you hear, okay?"
Lyric nodded with a cute little frown. "Mommy said believe only half of what I see and nothing I hear."
"Good girl. Remember what I told you about Clouds and Valeria?"
Again Lyric nodded. "You believed what you saw but you was wrong."
"That's my girl!" Bella beamed proudly. "Now let's get you to the mall and get another set of those colored pencil, so you'll also have the green one."
Hand in hand they walked back to Bella's car, while she subtly tried to stop Lyric from swinging their joint hands. The little girl had impossible energy sometimes and Bella didn't want her exerting herself for obvious reasons.
"I went to see Dr. Silver today." Bella informed her and Lyric gasped dramatically.
"Did he change his ringtone again?" She asked and Bella nodded vigorously with a suppressed laugh. "Oh gosh, what song? What song?"
Bella's laugh bubbled out at her enthusiasm. "Rejuvenate." She replied as they got into the car and she fixed Lyric's seat belt for her.
"Right, I'm not allowed to listen to that song." Lyric pouted, her enthusiasm dying down.
"And you know why. I told you it has bad words."
"It makes your cheeks turn red." Lyric grinned at her cheekily.
Bella gave her a mock glare, feeling her cheeks warm over yet again as she began to drive. That song definitely wasn't meant for younger audience.
Lyric relax into her seat, uncapping her bottle to drink more of the shake. "Daddy is naughty, naughty." She said, as if to herself and Bella tried not to choke air.
She didn't teach her that, she promised.
"Mommy why did you go to see Dr. Silver without me? Are you sick?"
Bella almost burst into tears right there and then, Lyric's intelligence genuinely left her speechless on occasions. "No honey, I'm fine. I went to speak with him about you." She told her sincerely.
"Oh." Lyric whispered softly.
Bella reached across the console to grab her daughter's hand. "You're going to be okay, you hear me? You're going to be fine, I'll make sure of it." She vowed.
Lyric tiredly rubbed her eyes with her other hand. "I'm not scared." She said sleepily.
Her words made a lump form in Bella's throat, the hardest thing she's had to do was keep her daughter in the loop of her condition as advised by the professionals. Lyric knew everything there was to know about her health, they've even had to talk about death once before.
"I know honey, you're the strongest person I know. You give me strength, you know that?" Bella said but Lyric was already fast asleep before she finished.
A tear ran down Bella's cheek as she alternated between watching her baby's sleeping form and the road ahead. Her tear was closely followed by another and then she was full on crying before she even realized it. Nothing will happen to her daughter, she won't allow it.
Daniel's death, then Jacob-hers and Daniel's father's death right after Bella found him, was enough to last her a lifetime. She would rather join them than watch her daughter go.
She needed to do something fast before it was too late. Dr. Silver won't listen to her, she doubt the team would agree with her without thinking she was depressed and being irrational. She needed to take matters into hands.
Wiping her tears with a decision made, Bella called her lawyer. "I need you to ensure my daughter is handed over to her father if anything happens to me."
"Isabella? Is everything okay?" The lawyer asked confusedly.
"If anything happens to me, I need you to make sure Lyric is handed over to her father." She iterated impatiently.
"Uhm okay, you should probably come to my office to file this formally but who is Lyric's father."
Bella took a long deep breath, this would be the first time she would say this out loud to someone that wasn't Lyric herself.
"His name is Iverson Benson." She let the air in her lungs out slowly. "You most likely know him as the famous musician, Clouds."
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