❛ chapter thirteen! ❜

thirteen | devil in me—halsey

       Savitar has started messing with Wally and anger is a word that barely describes what I feel. We had been off to a simple fire alarm and got sidetracked when Kid Flash was 'attacked' by Savitar, even though the self proclaimed god wasn't there; Wally told us that he's been having visions of Savitar for almost a week and this had made Barry's blood boil ending in a slightly heated discussion in the Cortex and razor sharp words being shot from his mouth, words he now regrets saying.

       We know that future Barry trapped Savitar somewhere and we know that he manages to get out of wherever he is at some point, all we need to know is his location to make sure he doesn't escape and the only way to know it is by asking him. So we've set up yet another séance with the god of speed—something Julian is not very fond of, I don't love the idea either but that's the only way. Even though we don't have the stone to do so, Cisco tells us that we can do it by using Savitar's spatial frequency from the last time we plugged Julian in. That night, we gather in the speed lab where Cisco has set up everything to make it happen and Julian is already in the chair closing his eyes and waiting for Savitar to take over.

        It doesn't take long for it to happen. A loud gasp coming from Julian's mouth echoes in the room, taking everyone by surprise, announcing it's worked. Unlike that last time, I'm not scared when I hear that demonic voice coming from Julian's mouth, I'm enraged. I want this to be over, for all he's doing is tearing the team from the inside, making them argue and fight each other and I won't let this team to be torn apart; I keep quiet during most part of the séance, my knuckles white as I try not to smack the smug smile off his face with the mug in my hand every time his eyes fall on me during his little speech. Him messing up with Wally won't stay like this, him messing with any of them will not stay like this.

       Savitar tells us that he's been imprisoned in the only place we could've think of, the only place that could actually hold him and that he's been there long enough to lose his mind several times over and boy can I see that. Questions are put in my head when he suggests we haven't gotten rid of the Philosopher's Stone, I know we did. We were propelled to the future and saw him killing Iris because of that, unless the stone was part of a larger piece that doesn't make sense to me. He keeps talking and the mere sound of his voice is making my blood boil even more.

       "Every step, every move that you make, it only brings me nearer to my freedom. I only need a couple more things—" the sound of breaking glass encroaches upon the room, stopping Savitar from continuing; all eyes follow the sound of the pieces that hit the floor, soon they take in the scene I'm part of; I look at the blood oozing from my tight closed fist, pieces of glass diving in deep into the reddened and burnt skin the piping hot coffee within the mug provoked, it should hurt, but my mind is clouded by rage so it remains numb. Before I can register it, I'm making my way towards him, leaving a trail of dark, sticky blood behind me. A low laugh escapes Savitar's throat, "The mighty Guardian," he purrs as I brush past Barry and stand just inches away from the deranged man, "the only one that can match my greatness and she lets her emotions get the best of her. I thought they had taught you how to use them, control them."

       "Yeah, they did. Do you want me to show you what happens when I use anger? I hiss, my teeth gritted, "Do you want to pull the trigger?"

       "You're my perfect match, Violett, always have been, join me and we will rule together," he tells me, his eyes never leaving mine and mine never leaving his, "your potential, the perfection you were created with is being wasted with these people who would see you just as a monster if they saw what I've seen, if they saw what you become. They still don't know about the merciless and dehumanized mercenary you are deep down, the one you were born to be, they haven't seen you in your full glory, I have. You are a goddess on this an any other earth, Violett Hale. The Goddess of War."

       "Shouldn't you be scared if deep down I'm what you say I'll become?" I know what I am, I know what I'm capable of, he doesn't have to remind me that. His eyes narrow, studying my face.

       "Why the change of heart?" I grab him by the collar with my good hand.

       "Speak clearly!" I seethe quietly.

       "Sheltering with this people won't erase all the atrocities you've committed, all the blood you've spilled in the past, all the people you've killed," I see his lips twitching into a grin.

       "All bad guys, villains, call them what you want; I take them out," the way I say the last word sends a shiver down my spine, "and you happen to be one of them; I'd keep a close watch on my back because one of these days, I'm coming for you," he laughs and that makes me go off, I let go and rise my hand at his face, I want to hurt him so badly, but every fiber of my body screams to stop, reminding me that who's actually in front of me is Julian, someone I don't want to hurt; heavy breathing and anger fuelled up by that grin, I know I'm real close to lose it, but a hand is placed over my shoulder easing my mind a little, by quickly glancing over my shoulder I see it's Barry's. I turn my attention back to Savitar. The palm of my hand spreads over his face, trembling as it begs to do harm, "Mess with my friends one more time and your wrath will be nothing compared to mine," I brush his face rather harshly and stomp out of the speed lab before doing something I'll regret.

       The cold water of the tap against my burnt skin makes me hiss quietly. The pieces of glass make a pretty rhythmic sound when they hit the sink, which is smeared with blood. The way I carelessly pull the pieces from my palm only makes me bleed even more and all I can do is grit my teeth at the pain. For the first time in years, I've felt the same rage I felt when I saw a nuclear wave wash over my city as I stood there unable to help the city that became nothing but blood stained rubble and fire.

       "Violett?" I hear Barry say from the wide open bathroom door, I didn't even bother to close it. I roll my eyes and keep on pulling glass fragments from my hand—a piece of the size of a quarter comes out along with more blood that trickles down my arm. I feel Barry getting closer, in this moment I want him as far as possible. My whole body screams to get all this anger out but I can't just yet and I'm scared to take it on him right here right now. All I want right is face Savitar and put an end to all this, make him stop.

       "What?" I say, more like snippet at him; the nice and friendly Violett I've been all this time eclipsed by the old me, "Did you come to ask me what the hell happened back there? Well, I'll tell you what," I gush, looking at him through the mirror and rinsing the never ending rivers of blood coming from my hand, "we are not doing shit here, we're trying to change the future based on some silly headlines from the future, we might be changing it but it's too slow, Barry, too slow; we need to take action now, real action," he's standing next to me at this point and I step back, "we need to find him, we can't let him get to Wally like that again, we have to stop playing with Julian like he's some human Ouija board to have a chit chat with that мудак, we need to find him now. He's made his move, it's time for us to make our move too."

       He nods; I see him move around in the small bathroom and open a few drawers, he pulls a towel from one of them and without a word he takes my bloody hand in his own, examining the wounds.

       "What are you doing? I'm fine, you know I'll heal in a few," I grumble, feeling the crease between my eyebrows harden, "Did you even hear any of what I said?"

       "Violett just shut up," he says quietly and I stare wide eyed at him. He dabs at the many wounds, cleaning and getting the last bits of glass out of them with his own fingers. I look at his face and find out that he doesn't look grossed out at all; his green eyes inspect my hand, the concentration frown working on his face starts to soften and his kind eyes look into mine before he speeds out of the bathroom, leaving me beyond confused. I'm about to grumble a few more cussing words to myself once again, he's back, holding my hand and wrapping gauze around my hand. Why is he doing this? He knows I can make the wounds disappear in ten, or less, minutes, I don't need gauze and bandages nor I know what shocks me the most, that he's doing all this, or, that he told me to shut up and I actually did. We need to find Savitar and here we are playing doctor.

       "Barry," I growl his name again; he ignores me. I take in a deep breath and do what he's told me to do: shut up. I stand in silence, watching him. I need to calm down or I know I'll take off and look for Savitar on my own and rip his head off. I know going after him alone is risky and it might take more than one try to end with his life, but I still feel the urge to do it. I want him dead and I'll gladly add him to my list.

       "I'm sorry," Barry whispers when he tightens the gauze and I let out a small hiss, "there you go," he says quietly.

       "Thanks. . .I guess," I say, admiring his handiwork, quickly returning my attention at him, "why'd you do this?" I add and he shrugs as he cleans his hands with the towel.

       "My life hasn't been normal in a long time," neither has mine, "sometimes it's hard to remember what my life used to be," he adds, his voice small, my expression softening and the tempest inside me decreasing as I listen to him, "right now. . .I just, I just want to be a guy helping out a girl with her injured hand in a tiny bathroom, not the hero that has a whole city to protect and a future to change, I want that, just for a moment."

       That longing in his eyes, I've seen them before. I've seen them in mine—wanting a normal life; but that's impossible now more than ever.

⚪⚪⚪

       H.R. offers me a cup of mint tea, which I accept this time, and he jokes about not breaking the mug this time. He's been keeping me company for a while now, cracking silly jokes and telling me one or two stories from his earth in an attempt to put me in a good mood and I'd say it's kind of worked.

       Right now, Cait, the guys and I are in the breach room, trying to vibe Savitar. I went out and tried to track him but there was nothing, I could feel his Speed Force, but it felt like it came from everywhere this time, just like the readings we got when we tried to track him during another quick séance with the speed god. I take one last sip from my tea and my eyes get caught in the gauze in my hand, my hand's healed already but I've left it there for some reason and that has me thinking.

       "Can't see anything," Cisco's voice makes me look up at him, he's sitting in front of Julian and me, just failing in another attempt to vibe Savitar.

       "Are those things even working?" H.R. questions and grabs Cisco's funny sunglasses and starts hitting them against the concrete, Cisco frantically trying to stop him, "I just wanna see if they're working!" H.R. justifies himself with a little shrug, everyone's patient starting to run thin under the pressure of succeeding or at least finding out something helpful. I'm not a very patient person myself, so whatever god is listening, he's gotta help us all if we all lose it.

       "They are working!" Cisco hollers, snatching the device from the tall man's hands; Julian and I share a look as we listen to the commotion, "I'm seeing these white—flashes, it's like—I don't know," he sputters and I place my mug on a table, scrambling my feet at them.

       "You said flashes? Like what? How does it look like?" I blurt out the questions, my eyes on him and my heart racing as a bad feeling sets in the pit of my stomach.

       "Yeah, it's just like misty and filled of flashes everywhere," he states, "it's like Savitar speeding through, like, a storm."

       "Oh no," I breathe out in a whisper, my hand on my forehead, "that is no storm, Cisco, that's the Speed Force," Barry and Iris rush into the room, the speedster stating the very same discovery. That's why only speedsters were able to see him all this time. I should have known this, but it was too easy to even consider it as a good guess. That's where future Barry traps him, that's where he puts him in.

       "That's why Savitar only appears for a few moments at a time," H.R. voices and I find myself pacing around with my arms folded, "because the Speed Force just sucks him back in," and he's right.

       "But we threw the Philosopher's Stone into the Speed Force," Caitlin's soft voice calls.

       "We did exactly what he expected us to do," I hint, "that's why you don't use the Speed Force as a trash can, we could've come up with another idea, we took an incautious decision."

       "And we gave him the very thing he needed to escape," I hear the defeat in Cisco's voice.

       "Except, he said he still needed a couple more things," Barry says, raising an eyebrow, "I don't think he can come out because he doesn't have the whole Stone," I close my eyes, heaving a sigh of relief just like everyone else. As long as we have it, everything's gonna be alright. Just in that wonderful moment of relief, a very worried and agitated Jesse Wells speeds into the room, all eyes on her. The girl tells us that Wally's gone after Savitar after he made him see his late mother. We all know that wasn't his mom, that was Savitar. I can literally feel my heart picking up when she tells us that. The boy's adoptive brother questions for his whereabouts but the light eyed girl doesn't know much about it.

       "He was freaking out. He said that he needed to stop Savitar from getting out and he sped off," she gushes out whilst my heart feels like it's going to burst when we all figure what Kid Flash is going to do. There's a part of me that refuses to believe so, so I flash to the Cortex to check up on the remaining piece of the stone. My body grows numb and almost languid, causing me to grip at the edges of the table when my eyes meet the empty box. In a second Barry and Jesse are standing next to me, followed by the rest of the team.

       "It's gone?" I hear Caitlin ask and get an answer from Barry through the blurriness in my head. I start pacing around with my hand clasped over my mouth, thinking of the only thing my racing mind can process right now: Savitar's gonna kill Wally. We need to find him. If Savitar gets ahold of that tiny piece of stone, he'll escape for sure and—a gasp heaves on my lips.

       "Fuck me," I mumble under my breath when I realize where exactly is Savitar. He's in the Speed Force Prison, he's not gonna kill Wally but he'll use him as a replacement to get out, he'll get out and Wally will take his place, "For eternity. . ."

       "I can't find him," I hear Cisco say in a voice thick with worry, "he turned off the suit's telemetry," that snaps me out of my reverie, I rip the gauze from my long healed hand and I hit my bangle with it, my suit materializing over my body.

       "He can't turn off the Speed Force radiating from him," I say, right after my suit is on, I don't think they see me, because the time it takes them to look at me I use it to speed off the labs, tracking Wally. I cross the city following the faint trail of Speed Force Wally has left behind. Then I feel it. I feel the power of a portal to the Speed Force being opened and I follow it, I know that's Wally. I want to face Savitar, but not at this cost. I come across an old factory and I see him. I see Wally running in circles, the last piece of the stone in his hands. I scream his name and tell him to stop, but he won't listen, I see him throw the stone into the portal. My mind races as it tries to come up with an idea and the only thing I can think of is me taking his place.

       "Get out of the way!" I shout, but the portal has started to suck him in. I grab his hand and hold onto it for dear life, I see the fear in his eyes while all I can hear is myself grunting and the humming and whirring that comes from the portal, all its power making me feel dizzy.

       "Violett, I can't!" Wally cries out as the portal drags us closer to it. Our hands locked together, holding one another's with all the strength we can muster up.

       "I'm not letting you go, I'll get you out of this," I tell him, while my feet slide over the pavement. I hear the boy beg and myself attempting to calm him down. He's almost into the portal and tears start to dot my vision when I realize I can't pull him out. I can't bear the sight of the Speed Force itself wrapping its tentacles around him. I hear myself sob a loud no as I keep pulling from his hand with my face contorted in pure agony, pure excruciation. I see how the raw Speed Force starts ripping his suit. He calls my name just like a little kid would call your name when scared and that breaks me.

       "Help me, Barry!" The boy suddenly cries out and I manage to look over my shoulder. Barry's standing at least ten feet away from us and he only stares like he's glued to the ground.

       "What the hell are you doing!" I yell at him, "Don't just stand there! Barry!" I struggle not to let go of Wally's hand. His screams fill my ears and I think of Joe and Iris, they can't lose Wally, they just can't, "I'll take his place!" I shout as loud as I can, hoping that my close connection to the Speed Force will help me get Wally out of all this, "I'll take his place, please let him go! I'll stay, I'll be a Guardian for all eternity, I'll never stop if you want, but please, please just let him go!" I beg, with tears spilling from under my mask, but the way the Speed Force grabs ahold of Wally's body, the way it violently drags him in is the answer; he's going in.

       I feel the energy starting to wrap around my hands and going up my arms, I don't want to let go, but the Speed Force is slowly and painfully making my hands loosen their grip. I cry out his name one last time and I see the boy being swallowed by the portal, the latter closing without leaving any signs of having been there as if it has melted into the darkness. I sink to my knees, staring into nothingness with my face stained by hot and sticky tears and my heart hammering against my chest. My eyes fall on the only thing Wally has left behind, a piece of his suit. Barry has joined me and the two of us remain in silence for a moment. I feel a quiet sob rack my body as I press the piece of leather against my chest, looking up at Barry thought clouded eyes.

       "He's gone. . ." I say almost to myself, pausing to register my own words and the cold truth hits me, "Barry, he's gone. . ." I add aimlessly, the speedster crouching beside me.

       Another portal starts to open, zapping and whirring. Hands wrap around me, lifting me up to get me out of the way of the portal. Barry holds me close as I stare almost hypnotized at what's crawling out of the portal, growling and roaring like a wild animal. There he is, the monster that's tearing the team from the inside, the monster I swore to protect these people from: Savitar

       This is it.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

that sad stuff just happened. i hope i depicted the especial connection wally and violett have and how painful seeing him go into the speed force like that was for her. awe, he's like the baby brother she never had. this is where shit gets real y'all.

how'd you like it? let me know in the comments! thanks for reading! 💞