❛ chapter twelve! ❜

twelve | anti-lover—satellite stories

       I look at the boy in the eyes all the time, maybe I shift my gaze to my hands from time to time when I show him how his fists should go—both pulled close to his chest and relaxed. His big brown eyes look attentively at my every move and he focuses on mimicking them. If there's something this team lacks of is the hand to hand combat, Wally more than anyone and I thought our training could be a little different today. I've extended a cushioned mat in the speed lab and the energetic music was Wally's idea.

       "Just remember," I tell him and do a recap, "less dominant hand; jabbing and blocking. Dominant hand; punching your opponent. If your opponent's bigger than you, you gotta use their strength against them," I raise an eyebrow to know if he's following and he nods, "right, now, fists pulled close to your chest and be sure to let your whole body relax. If you fail, that's alright, we're learning here, okay? It takes practice until your body gets used to it, but once you catch the hang of it it's like you say on this earth, a piece of cake," I tell him.

       "Okay, I think I can do it this time," he takes a deep breath and I smile.

       "Okay, then," I say, tightening my ponytail in the process and then holding my hands in front of my face, "give me your best punch," he hesitates for a moment before getting in position and fixing his eyes on my hands; his fist makes contact with my palm and it's a pretty good punch, swift and solid, "now let's see how you block and dodge," I throw a series of punches at him and he blocks most of them, we spend the next few minutes repeating it almost as a choreography so that he gets used to it.

       I can feel the Speed Force radiating from Barry, his presence confirmed when my apprentice looks over my shoulder for an instant. I move swiftly and my fist, softly yet roughly, makes contact with the boy's cheek, I grab his arm and pull it to his back, making him groan out of surprise and my eyes fix on the distraction standing at the door; a bottle of water in his hand, a white towel hanging from his shoulder and a sweaty hoodie.

       "All your attention on your opponent, getting distracted will only get you killed," I release Wally and give him a smile, "other than that you did pretty good; go hit the showers, that's enough for today," he smiles, walking off to the treadmill where he's set his stuff. Out of the corner of my eye I see Barry approaching, "Wonderboy."

       "Why'd you call him that?" I hear Wally ask between chuckles.

       "Oh, I found out about Flash Day, he's obviously the city's Wonderboy, so it fits," he chuckles again and we earn a slight roll of eyes from Barry.

       "I thought you guys were out practicing phasing," the brunette voices and I catch the bottle of water Wally flings at me before saying goodbye and walking away.

       "And I thought you were at work," I reply.

       "Day off," he tells me and I answer his first question.

       "He already knows how to phase, you taught him well," he smiles, "I thought the kid needs a little hand to hand combat training and also a little change," I shrug, "he lacks that very important skill; he's a speedster, but he won't always get to run away, he'll have to fight the baddies every once in a while and he needs to know how to do it," I see he agrees.

       "I taught him the punching," he says cockily and I cross my arms over my chest while looking at his sweaty face.

       "Oh, really?" He nods, proud of himself, "It was pretty good actually. Maybe you're not as bad at it after all," I tease.

       "You think I'm bad at combat?" I don't say a word, only give him a little smile, "I'm good at it, just haven't really gotten the chance of teaching him," he goes on and a hum sounds in my throat. But I believe him, we've been busy with Savitar and then going to Earth-2 with those hideous gorillas that almost killed us in a coliseum, very Planet of the Apes like, my long healed broken arm and ribs hurt with the mere fact of remembering the massive slap one of those creatures hit me with; we've been trying to change the headlines too. I know Barry's good at combat, but he could be better. I hold my hands in front of me and smirk at him.

       "Punch me," I say, his lips twitching into a smirk too and he places his bottle of water on the floor along with the white towel while I fix the strap of my sports bra underneath the crop top I made out of a slightly oversized tee with the labs logo on it. Barry's fist pushes my hand with the impact but it's not as strong as I thought it'd be, "You call that a punch?" I push his fist away, tilting my head.

       "I don't want to hurt you, that's all," he shrugs, maybe looking as innocent as a puppy with his big eyes on purpose. If I had asked a man from my earth to attack me he wouldn't have thought it twice; he wouldn't have thought: oh, she's a girl, let's not be too hard on her; that didn't exist on my earth.

       "What a lame excuse," I say, shaking my head and dropping my arms on my sides, "come at me."

       "Come at you?"

       "Yes, didn't you hear? I want you to come at me, no powers, not holding back, Oliver Queen style; show what you can do without your powers," I see something shifting in his eyes that tells me he's gonna do it, "get in the ring, Allen."

       I see him charge at me and his fist cuts through the air effortlessly, trying to find its home in my face, but I duck and my leg knocks him off his feet and to the mat, he groans with the impact and stays there for a moment. He pushes himself up on his elbows and I stretch my hand at him, waiting for him to take it and catch him off guard, but I'm the one caught off guard when he uses his leg to make me fall, landing next to him. I close my eyes and can't help the smile creeping on my lips, I like the fact that he's actually not holding back.

       "You didn't want to punch me, but you do want to wrestle," I mumble, moving quickly to him before he stands up. We roll on the cushioned mat beneath us a couple of times, struggling to get on our feet but the two of us try to stop one another. I elbow him in the stomach to get myself free from his arms, he grabs my foot with a playful smirk dancing on his lips. My hair falls wildly over my face and I realize my hairband is nowhere to be seen and now my hair is sticking at my sweaty skin. I manage to kick him in the chest with my free leg, it only stops him for a second. Next thing I know is that he's pinning me against the mat, both his hands around my wrists and I hear myself yelp, that little yelp echoing in the empty speed lab distracts him and I see worry flashing in his eyes, immediately loosening his grip on my wrists, which only allows me to smash my forehead against his, making him grunt. I grab him by the collar and force him to the mat, hurrying to crawl up to his chest and immobilize him by sitting on his chest, my knees on his shoulders, his face quite red at this point, "I hear you like boxing," I say out of breath.

       "I hear you're ticklish," he says and his hands reach for my sides and I manage to grab his hands on time and now he's the one pinned against the mat, my hair ticking his face.

       "You don't want to do that, Allen," I slowly shake my head as an extra warning and I let go of his hands. Trusting he won't do it, unless he wants a black eye. His hands grip at my legs hard, I can't register what happens next, I only know he manages to push himself up despite all my weight on his chest, he grabs me by the shoulders and pushes me backwards again and I curse under my breath when he pins me against the mat again, his knees on the outside of my thighs.

       "Looks like you're losing," he says in a smoky voice that triggers something in me. His face just inches away from mine; I see my refection in the black of his dilated pupils, the short laugh that sounds in his throat snaps me out of my daze.

       "I wouldn't be so sure," I grunt as I wrap my legs around his waist and my hands grip at his biceps, allowing me to roll him over before kicking him in the ribs, not using all my strength else he'd be pretty beaten up by now. I crawl on top of him, wearily, my knees on the outside of his waist, I punch him playfully on the chin and he chuckles, "I have a few tricks up my sleeve and you have to do something else than pinning on top of people," I say breathless before giving up and collapsing next to him, hearing him laugh under his breath.

       I wish for this moment to last longer and I don't really know why. Lying next to him on this rather comfy mat makes me feel whole somehow and today more than any other day; I know it's not my Barry, I don't have to remind myself about it anymore, yet his mere presence puts me in a good mood every time now and it's as if all my sorrows were washed away by it. I let my head fall to the side and look at the man beside me, he sighs and opens his eyes not taking long for them to find mine; I think I must look disgusting right now, wild hair, flustered cheeks and sweaty. Still, I feel comfortable with him seeing me like this; he's already seen me in my worst moments and with puffy red eyes, I bet a little sweat won't do any harm either.

       "Barry, I've been calling you for the past hour!" Iris calls out at him from the entrance and the boy sits up immediately. Guess the moment ends here, "Dad told me to make dinner tonight and I want to know what dish are you up for, Grandma Esther's noodles or chicken in mushroom sauce," she says as she walks up to us, slipping a greeting for me.

       "Noodles, obviously," he says and I feel my mouth watering at the thought of food. He gets on his feet and I follow.

       "Cool! Just a jump at the supermarket and you will help me to chop the vegetables," she chirps, the speedster rolls his eyes at her. The pretty girl scrunches her nose lightly as she eyes us, "Oh my god. What have you two been doing?"

       "Training—" we chorus, more like blurt out.

       "Go hit the showers, you two smell," I can't help tugging at my clothes and well, she's right.

       "Yes, ma'am," I tell her playfully, gaining a grin from her, "you heard her, Barry," I add, starting to walk, leaving the two behind, hearing the two best friends discuss something in a low voice. I comb my hair with my fingers and pull it into a bun, using my own hair to keep it in place, for my band vanished into thin air.

       "Vee, why don't you join us for dinner tonight?" Barry suddenly questions and I turn back at them, Iris nodding her head, a warm smile on her red lips, "Noodle dish. There'll be plenty for everyone."

       "Uhm—" well, Caitlin is having a casual-just-friends dinner with Julian before he leaves for England and I'm not supposed to tell anyone, and I'll probably eat the leftovers of last night's lasagna and I'm a sucker for noodles, "—sure, why not?"

       "Great!" The pretty girk chimes, "Be there at six."

⚪⚪⚪

       Sitting at the table I realize this is my second time coming to the cozy West house. The first time was back at Christmas and just like that time, the table is surrounded by laughter but without the heavy hearts of recently knowing about Iris supposed future this time. They've told me stories of when they were kids, how they always stuck together at school. Their friendship reminds me of Ward and I and for a moment I wish I knew how he's doing on Earth-38, it's been a couple of weeks since he left. I know Kara said he'd be fine and that her sister had said he could land a position in the D.E.O. and technically become part of team Supergirl, but I'd just like to see how he's doing by myself.

       Iris and Barry start talking about their childhood movies and they're beyond shocked when I tell them we didn't have Disney movies back on my earth. Fantasy movies along with cartoons are a big thing on this earth, back on mine, those kinds of things had been banned by the government hundreds of years ago, just like any other thing that was considered a bad influence for the warriors they were hellbent on raising. Even thought the government had changed through the years, my mother would panic every time she found me reading the old fantasy book we had out in the swing my father made for me in the front yard, not because she didn't allow me to read that kind of book, for I could as long as I stayed inside, but because it was against the law. Most people would normally turn a blind eye but if someone decided to report it to the authorities, they'd take me away from my parents.

       "But I'll make sure I watch those movies before I return to the Speed Force," I say nonchalantly and with a grin, returning to my food. I notice the sudden silence invading the room. My eyes meeting theirs, sensing the slight tension fluttering and growing in the air by the second.

       "You're leaving?" Iris asks, the cutlery in her hands touching the plate producing a loud clink. She glances at Barry, who sits in silence across from me with a befuddled glimmer in his green eyes.

       "When we defeat Savitar, I'll have to go back," I say, grazing at my lower lip, "that's how it works," my stomach churns, the laughter is gone and I don't think it'll be back for the rest of the evening if I don't fix this.

       "Are you sure you can't stay?" She inquires and my eyes meet Barry's once again. I didn't think they'd care this much. Something inside me hurts when I realize I don't want to leave the only place I've felt loved and appreciated again. I slowly shake my head.

       "I'm afraid I can't," I say almost in a whisper. I look down at my plate and wish I hadn't said anything.

       "But you could come back, right?" Barry finally speaks. Shifting his gaze from me to his best friend almost frantically. I don't want to answer because I know the answer is exactly what they don't want to hear, "I mean, it's—it's possible, isn't it?"

       "I could," I lie, forcing a smile and their dull faces are washed over by hope, I know that one day, when they realize that I'll never come back, they'll hate me. But that's my curse, being a wanderess, "I don't see why the hell not," I add and I'm surprised by how convincing I actually sound, I try to convince myself, but deep down I know that I'm just a comet crossing their sky, the next time I do it could be in another million years.

       The mood seems to go back on good track for the rest of the evening. I help Iris with the dishes and I bombard her with questions about what is it like to be a journalist and I'm fascinated by how entertaining and amazing it sounds. She then does the same questioning about how it was to be a fighter pilot back on my earth. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have remembered how great it was. I could have stayed there all night talking about aviation with her, but I had to leave. I really thought I was going straight to Caitlin's apartment when I shuffled to the door and opened it, but there he was, leaning against the porch banister. I knew finding him there wasn't an accident when he beamed at me like that. I give him a somewhat shy smile and close the door behind me.

       "Thanks for inviting me," I tell him, pacing towards him.

       "You're always welcome here," my smile grows wider at those words. He straightens himself and inches forward so that were standing face to face, "I actually invited you because I had something to tell you," I try to hide the frown in my face.

       "And, what would that be?" I ask and suddenly I feel worry creeping in me, "Is it about Savitar?" I ask alarmed and crossing my arms, nervously gripping at my upper arms.

       "No, no, it's not about Savitar," he says, trying to conceal the smile my reaction caused, "I wanted to tell you— well, more like give something to you," I look down at the plain envelope in his hands; he nods for me to grab it and I hesitate, glancing at him and at the envelope a couple of times before actually taking it.

       "What is this?" I question, a tiny smirk tugging at my lips and I open the envelope, my fingers sliding inside and pulling out some sort of plastic card from it. A frown sets on my face when I see there's a picture of my face, my name is there too, "I don't understand. . ." I fade out and look up at him.

       "Caitlin mentioned something about you wanting to be a little more independent," he says, shoving his hands into his pockets, "and that you've talked about wanting a job and walk around the city without having to feel like a ghost, so, I talked to Felicity and had her make this ID for you," he sucks in a breath, "it was actually easy since you don't have a doppelganger, maybe she hasn't even been born like Cisco said, you know, with all the being born a hundred years from now thing you have going on," he lets out a small chuckle and pauses, his eyes falling from mine to the ID in my hands, his shoulders going up and then dropping, "I didn't know you had to leave when I had it made. I thought I'd give it to you anyways, you know, for the few months you'll be here," he says quietly.

       "Barry," I begin, "you better than anyone know that 'a few months' is a lot of time for a speedster," I dedicate him a small smile and he reciprocates; I take a look at the ID once again, "I loved it, thank you so much."

       "You're welcome," he voices and I return my attention to the ID. So this is why Cisco bugged me about taking a picture of me, what my second name is and then my birth date a couple of weeks ago. I shake my head as I go through the personal information not being able to stop a chuckle because this is the name I usually go by but is not my real name and they don't know that.

       "Violett Catherine Hale. Born on February 10th, 1992, in Central City," I read, "that makes me over a hundred years old, but I guess that's alright," I shrug, hearing the boy chuckle, "actually I was born in Stalingrad; listen, that is not my real name—"

       "I know, I mean, we know," he tells me and takes me by surprise with his words.

       "You do?"

       "Well. . .see, when you came to the labs unconscious, you were so weak and covered in mud; Caitlin got you cleaned up and hooked to an IV; when you woke up you would just lay in bed staring up at the ceiling muttering things to yourself. We had to keep a close watch on you, otherwise you'd roam the hallways and get lost; Caitlin would stomp into the room in a fright, telling everyone to start searching for you," I raise my eyebrows, this is the first time I'm told what happened during that particular period of time I cannot remember, "we'd find you mumbling things to yourself and sometimes you'd switch to what we thought was Russian, and you'd say the name—"

       "Violetta Volkova," I say almost in a whisper, he nods.

       "That name amongst other things we didn't quite understand."

       "Oh," I utter, "you're probably wondering why I don't go by that name. It's quite a long story, I was—"

       "No. You don't have to tell me, Vee," he tells me in a soft voice.

       "Really?" He hums an answer.
      
       "Yeah. But, I was wondering if you—I mean," he stutters a little, whatever he's trying to say stuck in his throat as a faint pink hue takes over his face, "uhm, are you sure you don't remember anything? Like at all?" He asks, his eyes slightly narrowed.

       "Should I? Hell, I did something bad, didn't I?"

       "No, you didn't. . .it doesn't matter. It was—uhm, don't worry about it," he tells me and I sigh quietly, feeling the soft nocturnal breeze caressing my face. I tug at the strap of my purse, not knowing what to say now. The feeling of uneasiness plunges into my chest by not knowing why I can't remember any of that. I look up at Barry once again and flash him another smile.

       "I should be going, it's getting late," I voice, "tell Joe I said hi, didn't see him today," I go on as I make my way down the steps, Barry following up close.

       "Will do," we come to a stop in the pathway and I fidget with the envelope in my hand, seeing how Barry leads his hand to the back of his neck, "uh, I guess I'll see you at the labs tomorrow, then," I hum a reply and feel my awkwardness show when I rock back and forth on my feet.

       "Yeah, I'll see you. . .there," I bite my lip, ordering myself to calm the nervousness that racks my body all of a sudden, "thank you once again," I brandish the envelope in my hand, "you made my night with this," my hand sets on his shoulder, the soft breeze making his hair brush on his forehead, "goodnight, Barry."

       "Good night, Vee."

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

they're my babies and i'm the captain of this ship. so sad vee will have to leave, poor barry. i'm so excited for you to see what's to come, you have no idea. what do you think of this chapter? let me know in the comments!

also, thank you for over 3k reads! i'm really surprised this book is considered somewhat good and is getting more support than i thought it would, i'm forever grateful. ilysm! 💞