HE WAS INSANE. IT was something she had already been well aware off, but now, with a smile stained with blood and a corpse by his side it was even more blindingly clear to her. He seemed euphoric at the sight of her, knocking one of the guards out with a clean hit against the neck without even bothering to look away from her. Was it an obsession? If not that, why else would he have this expression on his face, the one that told her that before this nothing had mattered, that the only thing he cared about was seeing her?

Three guards slammed him to the floor, but he didn't even glance at them. There was no way he was going to win this, not when all the guards in solitary were on edge as well, many already having their weapon ready. Shooting him would be the last resort considering how much of a high profile prisoner he was and how vast his criminal network, but that didn't mean none of them would succumb to their fear and pull the trigger. None of them wanted to end up like their colleague.

They didn't need to be afraid of that. After he had killed him, Nathan had kept his gaze on her, as if waiting for her approval to continue. In a sick way, he probably thought he was doing this for her. To be honest, she wasn't much better. Even after all her talk about trying to minimize the damage, the true reason she was here was because a part of her empathized with him. She didn't see him as a monster, even though she knew she should have. Besides, wasn't this exactly the reaction she should've expected from him?

"Don't look guilty, Helene," he smiled," none of their blood is on your hands. If you hadn't come, I would have killed them all anyway."

"Nathan," she said softly," why did you do that?"

"You know the answer," he said, looking at her with such warmth that it was hard to be angry," for you. I would do anything for you."

"You think that reason is justified?" one of the guards holding him shouted," don't pretend it was for anyone but yourself, you bastard! Landon had a wife, three children -"

"So do you," Nathan said," do you feel bad for him because he reminds you of yourself or simply because he was in close proximity to you? Do you think that selfishness makes you a better person?"

"Selfishness?" the guard exclaimed, pressing him harder to the ground," how dare you say something like that when you don't even have a conscience."

"A hundred thousand," Nathan said," that's how many people die each day. Do you mourn for all of them? What's the difference between this man on the floor right now and another a country away?"

"The difference is that you killed him in front of me," the guard snarled.

"So things only matter when they personally affect you?" Nathan asked," is that not the definition of selfishness?"

The guard parted his lips, but no sound came out. His conviction seemed to be wavering, but Nathan always had had a way of doing that to people. No one liked admitting they were selfish, even though every human was, at the core of their being. They pulled him up and dragged him off towards solitary, Nathan complying well to their surprise. Though they all were on edge, none of them seemed to expect he'd pull something again so close to his cell. Of course they wouldn't, not if he was sane.

And then, in the fraction of a second before they passed her, he suddenly grabbed a few locks of her hair, pulling her closer at once. His lips almost grazed past, but Dante already pulled her back before he could do so, the guards immediately slamming him against the wall. Even though Dante tried to made sure she was okay, she couldn't keep her eyes off Nathan, his gaze flicking from Dante's hands on her shoulders back to hers.

"You changed your shampoo," he said.

Her hand flew to her hair, the blood from his hands still warm in the gold of her locks.

"I did," she said.

"Why?" he said," for whom?"

After her last encounter with Zion the honey scent of her shampoo had made her sick, his face the only thing she could associate it with. So she had gone to get a new one at the break of dawn, the unfamiliar bottle feeling like a trophy of sorts in her bandaged hands. How had he noticed so quickly? The feeling of his hands in her hair was still there, surprisingly gentle despite the blood staining them. Why was this man such a paradox to her?

"For myself," she said.

At that he smiled.

"I like it," he said," I'm happy you came to see me, Helene."

"Didn't you expect me to?" she said.

"No," he said, expression undecipherable," people tend to disappoint me."

The guards had opened his cell, already ushering him in, but Helene stopped them before they closed the door.

"Can I have a moment with him?" she said," please."

"Doctor Amsel," they began, hesitantly," our orders -"

"Fuck your orders," Dante said," I'll take care of this."

"You've seen what he did in the hallway, Dante," one of them said.

"I have," Dante replied," get him off that dirty floor and bring him to a funeral home. Grieve. Allow him that respect. If you chain Parker to the wall, I doubt he'd do much."

"Finally," Nathan smiled," a man of reason."

"Don't speak to me," Dante snapped at him," the only reason I'm tolerating you is because you're Helene's patient, otherwise you'd be dead."

The guards had chained Nathan so tightly to the wall that he could barely move, his arms restricted behind him, but still he pulled forward, the dimmed lights of the hall placing an almost crazy sheen in his eyes.

"You think you can kill someone, Zarowski?" he laughed," you think you're up for that? Please do it, place your hands around my throat and choke the air out of me. Come on now, I'll even guide you how to do it best, where to place your fingers. It'll be an experience you'll never forget, I promise."

"What's wrong with you?" Dante said, voice filled with disbelief.

"Everything," Nathan grinned," nothing. Depends on who you ask. Either way, the truth remains the same. Killing is easy, but it's the aftermath that poisons people. You'll feel my heart stop beating and then every night, like clockwork, you'll see my face in front of your eyes. I'll haunt you forever, in the form of an insomnia you'll never shake, a guilt which will eat you alive from the inside. You won't like being that righteous anymore when the weight of your sins follows you everywhere. So please do it, it'd bring me more joy than you could imagine."

All the guards had paled, clearly uncomfortable by Nathan's lack of regard for himself and the world around him. Helene turned to look at Dante, who was barely restraining himself from shouting back. She pulled him along to the side to calm him down, out of Nathan's line of sight. The guards who had escorted him here immediately took the chance to leave, the others spreading out in the hallway to the solitary cells. Though she had only intended to speak to Dante briefly, the sound of Nathan's chains clanking loudly resounded through the place as he spoke, no amusement in his voice.

"Why are you wasting your breath on someone like him?" he said," come back to me, Helene."

"Why do you even bother talking to a monster like him?" Dante whispered at her, frustrated," let him rot in here, Helene, he deserves it. There's no saving him."

Once her mother had said there was no saving her either and in a way, Helene supposed she had been right. Still, it wasn't because she had some unrealistic idea of saving him that she was doing this. No, she just liked the feeling of losing herself in the process. She never had much time to think about her own problems when she was off solving those from others. Besides, there was something about Nathan, the way he talked and the way he looked at her — no, she shouldn't think about that.

"It's no use convincing you," Dante sighed," I know that too." He carefully took her hand in his then, squeezing it as he looked at her. "You're too kind, Helene."

She smiled up at him, not knowing if that was because he was seeing the way she projected herself to the world or the real her. Not that it mattered, in the end.

"Thank you for your concern," she said," truly, Dante. I'll be right there, so you can wait in the hall. He's chained to the wall, like you said, so it's not like he can do much. I don't want you to be his target, especially not after what he just did."

"Helene -" he began to protest, but she cut him off.

"Please," she said," I'm asking a favor, from a friend to a friend."

That made him stop, his piercing eyes locking with hers, as if trying to see if she truly wouldn't mind him leaving. After a moment he nodded, asking the guards to confirm that Nathan was locked once again, before glancing at her.

"From a friend to a friend," he said.

"Thank you," she smiled.

She took the key to the solitary cell, closing the door behind herself so no one in the hallway would hear her. Sounds would only go through if she screamed, they had told her. Hopefully she wouldn't have to find out how soundproof it was. Slowly she slid down against the door to sit, watching Nathan on the other side of the small room. He was on his knees, arms chained behind his back and blood still dripping down his face, but somehow it suited him, tragedy only elevating his beauty.

"Helene," he said," we're finally alone."