So, this was actually the first thing that I ever read on Wattpad. I was drawn by an interesting cover, a eye-catching description and the fact that it had won one of the Wattys, the 2014 contest specifically. Looking back on it now, one phrase in particular stands out in my memory, and I think that it basically sums up the entire book. That phrase was "standard issue katana."

I have so many problems with this phrase.

First of all, I should probably tell you a little about my background. I grew up sword fighting. I know how a sword works, from two handed swords to one handed, from sabers to longswords, from katanas to foils. When I talk sword fighting, I know a thing or two.  And I know that I might get some hate for saying this, but the katana isn't all it's made out to be.

There are three things to recommend it in my mind. First, katanas are the best sword in the world for a quick attack out of nowhere. You can draw it out of its sheath and make a kill in one motion, which is unique in the world of swords. So if you're attacked on the highway, and an enemy raises his sword to make a kill, you can thank your lucky stars you have a katana to defend or counterattack with a single motion. There's a martial art called iaido that utilizes this trait.

The second is that it is a curved sword, which means it has less of a bind. A bind happens when sharp swords clash; the edges cut into each other and the blades stick together. Curved swords don't do that as much as straight swords, and I like that because I'm not used to binds.

Third, katanas are beautiful. I cannot deny how epic they look. The only sword that might be better looking is the Chinese jian, but that's a debate for another time.

Beyond these three things, one a very specific situation and the other two personal preference, there is nothing at all to recommend katanas over other swords. It doesn't have the reach of a longsword, the mobility of a saber, or the speed of a smallsword. Shortswords and broadswords would be paired with shields, which would make the cutting action of a katana useless. Japanese steel used in most katanas wasn't much better than European steel; samurai had to carry multiple blades into battle in case one of them snapped (I'm not counting the Emperor's sword which was folded constantly for twenty-six years at a time and can cut through live bullet fire, which is a thing, I'm talking about the ones samurai actually used in combat). I would choose any of the aforementioned blades against a katana in combat, and a handful of others as well (rapier, shamshir, Ulfbert, langschnett, highland broadsword, basket-hilt broadsword, messer, etc.). The only time you want a katana is if you've been ambushed, and that's a rare occasion (unless you're the folks who designed the katana in the first place).

But that's not my only problem. If something is "standard issue," that implies that it's mass produced. That implies factories and industry. And factories and industry imply chemistry and physics, which imply that people understand gunpowder, which implies guns. And if you're able to mass produce katanas, what in heaven's name is preventing you from mass producing guns? Why would you choose katanas over guns? Why would you choose katanas over any other sword? Why does this world include standard issue katanas?

The answer is, I'm afraid, because katanas are cool. And I say this because surprise attacks aren't featured or important in this story, because the existence of massive cargo liners and functioning helicopters confirms my suspicion that guns could be real, and because the author does not tell us that he wants to avoid a bind. This is a world in which looking cool is more important than being effective or logical. That's why I think this phrase perfectly describes Darkness Girl: Trickster God.

Is there necessarily a problem with that? No. Independence Day is a stupid movie that only wants to look cool, and I love it. But Darkness Girl?

Let me step back a pace.

Darkness Girl: Trickster God is the story of Regan, a teenage girl with bright blue hair, one of the most deadly assassins the world has ever known. She's one of the handful in this world with a superpower, called a "craft" here, but who cares that's what it is. It's a world reeling in the wake of an unexplained catastrophe years before that left a fractured society behind to deal with the fallout. Regan is betrayed and captured by her own teacher who wants to steal her craft for herself, an experimental procedure which will kill Regan. And so begins Regan's epic final quest; revenge.

Several bloody chapters later, Regan washes on the shore of a simple land detached from the conflict outside, unconscious and badly wounded. She is discovered by Sarafina, a combat medic, her sister Eva, and friend Gareth. They save her life and welcome her into their home and community, although her intense nature and training as a cold-blooded killer make it difficult for her to relate to them. And then, there's her quest for revenge. Will she put her rescuers in harm's way in order to complete her bloodlust? Can she find it in herself to love? Or does she even care?

Let me get one thing straight; I like action. Remember that rant on swords I just made? There's a reason I know all that. But this book was absolutely nothing else. There were two or three chapters where I was able to take a breath from the constant blood and combat that was the vast majority of this book. I liked those chapters. I was sad when they were over. Those were the moments when Regan seemed human, vulnerable, insecure. For the rest, she was a force of nature, an untouchable, inexorable incarnation of badassery and fury. She was a valkerie with a katana. But she didn't feel human except for in a couple of moments.

Let me put it to you this way. The Bourne trilogy is almost constant action and what isn't action is building to more action. But Jason Bourne is a person. Almost right off the bat in Identity, we see him sleeping on a park bench in Zurich. We see him scared when he's with Marie. We see him injured when he falls several flights at the end. We see him being polite, honorable; when he finds his aliases and money in that Swiss bank account, he leaves the gun behind. Jason Bourne is a human even while he's the most badass man on the face of the earth. Regan isn't human in the same way. She has one goal through the whole story, and though she grudgingly helps the people who saved her, she doesn't care about them. Well, maybe she does at the end, but it's a very minor change, and it doesn't convince me.

Is it badly executed violence? No, it isn't. One does get the idea that the author doesn't really use swords all that much, because the vocabulary is mostly limited to "he struck" or "she swung wildly," and while there's a lot of talk about people's fighting styles and the strengths/weaknesses therein, there isn't much to describe these fighting styles besides that they were slashing or what they were aiming for. I know my fighting style pretty well (a messer variant, if you're wondering) and I could tell you that one of the things I do is to block an overhead cut in parry 5, step under my opponent's blade, and swing under their guard for an outside cut that lands just above the thigh bone. Do I expect every fight scene to be choreographed in that detail? No. But if you're talking about styles, tell me what it is for heaven's sake. My biggest real problem is the absurd bloodiness of every set piece, though. Every scene ends bathed in somebody's blood, which is highly unpleasant when you realize that there are 72 chapters and about 65 of them are filled with blood (I didn't count, btw).

Characters in this book are interesting and well written, though I thought both the protagonist and antagonist were a little cliche. The world is poorly explained, and I've already described the way it treats industrial practices and military equipment. I think that giving people superpowers didn't really work for this story, or the atmosphere it tried to create. The writing was good throughout, though, again, too much focus on violence and not enough on character.

Let me put it this way. If you're a fan of certain animes, this book will probably be right up your alley. I am not a fan of anime. I thought this book was silly. I felt that it thought it was way cooler than it actually was. That's not something I can forgive, especially since it sacrificed so much character growth and world building in order to be cool. It's this sort of thing that makes me so angry at katanas. They're so cool that people think that their mere presence will stand in for characterization. It's like a muscle car. People who actually drive look down on Mustangs and Chargers because they're noisy, they can't corner, they're slow, and they waste gas. People who do like muscle cars either like to tinker with the engine or showing off that they have a muscle car. That's how I feel about the katana.

My final score for Darkness Girl: Trickster God is two-point-five out of five unnecessary swords. I didn't hate it, but I have no desire to re-read it or pick up the sequels. And it pleasantly killed a few hours, so I have that to thank it for.

Do you agree or disagree? Please leave a comment below, and don't forget to vote and add this to your library for more constructive criticism. Thanks, the real jonbrain!