Chapter 6: Cleaning Out my Closet

The greatest wisdom comes from learning to move forward by letting go of the past. Real power is gained when your focus is on the future, not the baggage of the past.
[Author Unknown]

Dave

He didn't know why he was here. His brothers had warned him not to come but before he knew it he was up on his feet walking to the front door with his keys in his hand. Now here he was home of all places if he could even call it that anymore. He knew April didn't want to see him but he wanted to see her. He needed to see her. He missed her and not just the juice box between her delicate chocolate legs. He missed her as a whole. He missed his home. Everything about her he missed. Her presence and her scent that damn cocoa and shea butter mixed with her natural scent sometimes mixed with expensive perfume and body sprays. He missed how she loved him, loved on him, cared for him, supported him, and was just there for him. The way she looked at him like he was everything and the only thing in her world. Her laugh and the way she fit perfectly in his arms even if she was shmedium small. The way they had a king size bed but she always ended up on his side with her head nestled on his chest, arm wrapped around his stomach, and leg draped around his waist.

He missed coming home from a long night at the studio to find her in the bed with nothing on but one of his shirts. He missed how she would immediately wake up and greet him as if she hadn't just woken up out of her sleep. He missed her petty ass ways when it was directed towards someone else. He missed unlocking new parts of her and seeing things he never thought she'd do. He missed it all. He missed coming home to his woman and baby girls and waking up to home cooked meals. He missed hair days where they would all bond as she would wash, shampoo, condition, grease, and style him and the girl's hair. He missed her going out to get her nails and toes done then coming home to get dressed all sexy to go on date nights with him.

He missed lying up in bed talking about any and everything with her. He missed talking and planning their future together. He missed hearing and seeing her excitement about going back to work. He missed talking about their future children. She'd always say she could do one more but he knew from the way she talked and the way her eyes twinkled when they talked about babies that she'd at least give him two. He even missed her calling him Papi. Sure other women called him Papi but it meant so much more and did something to him when April called him Papi. It's like she spoke to his soul. He never knew Papi could sound so good coming from the one he loved. Now life wasn't like any of what he was used to or imagined it would be. This isn't how he thought the LA move would be. He was lonely, miserable, and low key sad. He was working on himself but he knew he wasn't putting in the extra effort that he needed but he wasn't ready to deal with the real issues yet. He felt like talking to Millie would destroy him like whatever else she had to say would do him in like it would be the final nail in his coffin.

Ding Dong

He rang the bell again getting antsy hearing their fancy doorbell sound off. He was like a fiend chasing his next high and she wasn't opening the door fast enough for him to get to it. He knew she was home. He knew she was having a girls' night just like he knew that their baby girls were over at Chris's place for a sleepover curtesy of their grandmothers. Chris was on the road so Joyce had summoned all of the grandmas and snatched up all of the girls. Besides she could act like she wasn't home all day long but since the girl's cars were all parked outside he knew they were all inside. He still had her locations on his phone as well so yea she was definitely home.

"Who is it" he heard the voice he had been dying to hear on the opposite side of the door. He could've used his key but since he wasn't there for the girls he knew ringing the bell would be more appropriate especially since he hadn't called her to say he was stopping by.

He knew she knew it was him. Her ass stayed looking at the camera just to make sure no one had bypassed security. "Me"

April opened the door with one hand on her hip looking up at him annoyed. Even her annoyed expression he missed. "How can I help you Brewster" she asked as she kept her eyes on his face. Now instead of calling him David she was calling him Brewster and he hated that shit just the same if not more than when she called him David. These days she was paying his ass no never mind. She paid him dust and always kept her eyes on his face never once taking him all the way in. She had been serious when she said she wasn't fucking with him anymore especially since she assumed he wasn't really getting himself together. The more time he took the more she let go of him and it hurt. It sucked ass. He thought she would've had a little more faith in him.

Granted he was indeed taking care of himself physically and trying to gather himself mentally through his healing journey. But he knew he needed to be doing more for not just her but himself. He had low key found a good Masjid in the area and had been spending time there just trying to restore his faith and get some guidance. He had even been having private talks with his father about not only marriage but family and being a stand up man. He also knew he did indeed need therapy because he had experienced a lot of trauma and not just from Millie. He was a work in progress but he was trying.

He knew that the kids weren't there and since they weren't she wasn't going to want to hear him out but luckily tonight he wasn't looking for any type of play. "I" he started not even trying to remove his eyes off of her as he scanned her body from head to toe. It didn't matter how much time apart they spent he was going to do it regardless. She was on her TLC shit tonight dressed in a yellow silk pajama set but instead of a pants set it was shorts and boy he couldn't understand how her coochie was eating up the front of her shorts. All he could see was a fat ass pussy print. She had to be free balling because it was just no way in hell that it should be looking like that.

"Words Brewster...how can I help you" she asked snapping her fingers as her eyes followed his then immediately fixed her shorts.

Dave gulped as he slowly focused his eyes back on her face. She was killing him without doing anything. "Uh can we talk" he asked as he placed his hands in his jean pockets on some nervous shit. It was something he often did around her now. He didn't know if he was actually nervous or trying to stop himself from reaching out and touching her.

"You do know the girls aren't here right. They're with their grandmothers. It's Friday so I have a free night so I'm chilling with the girls. You and I have nothing to talk bout especially not at this hour" she said as a matter of fact.

He didn't care that the kids weren't there he still needed to talk to her. He didn't care what time it was even though it was way past ten. It might've seemed like he was there for a booty call but being between her thighs were the least of his worries right now. "Look I know ya still not fuckin with me and you don't even have to talk but I just need you to listen" he said seeing the Taurus in her coming out to play with her stubborn ass. But right now he didn't care about any of that. He just needed to talk and he needed to talk to his best friend. He just needed a moment with her. Being apart for four months wasn't sitting well with him. He honestly didn't think this journey would take this long. He thought he would've been back home by now.

"Hey sis you good out here" Dave heard Alaina ask April as she made her way beside her at the front door. "Oh it's you" Alaina said once she looked and saw Dave standing there.

"Yea I'm good even though y'all jinxed me but he was just leaving" April said still with her eyes on Dave ready to dismiss him.

"Bet, call me if you need me" Alaina said and rolled her eyes at Dave before she walked away causing Dave to inwardly groan. She hadn't even muttered a simple hey or hello when normally they would do their little handshake. He hated how his and Alaina's relationship was now. It was strained and hella rocky. They had a love hate relationship now. When she had first found out that he had broken up with April and the wedding was off she literally pulled up on him and approached him like a nigga in the street and lit his ass on fire with a tongue lashing just like she had promised she would if he had ever fucked up. She had even left his ass with a silent threat that he damn sure wasn't tempted to find out about. He knew if he had been a woman she would've damn sure threw hands at him. Yet he had no choice but to eat that shit because he did what he promised he wouldn't do. Nowadays the girls only tolerated him because of the boys but they damn sure weren't off him. The crew's dynamic was far from a vibe. He could feel the tension radiating off of all the women when he entered a room. Luckily chilling with the crew as a whole wasn't frequent and most of the time April did whatever she could to avoid him when all he wanted to do was reach out to her and change things back to normal. Her favorite excuse was work these days so she never stayed long. She just came to show her face and he knew it was because of Shooter. But Dave respected it. He respected Shooter even more for making sure April knew that she was still welcomed no matter what had gone down between them.

"Look ma I just need to talk. You don't have to say anything I just need you to listen and hear me out" Dave somewhat pleaded. Although that's all she had been doing lately because talking to him wasn't a necessity anymore.

"Is it bout Love Bug or Triple B" she questioned as she now leaned against the door frame clearly aggravated with a frown on her face. He couldn't blame her he just did a random ass pop up and interrupted her girls' night.

"No" he answered and already knew what she was about to say next.

"Then we don't have shit to talk bout" she said plain and simple. "Now if you'll excuse me I need to get back to the festivities" she said getting ready to walk off and close the door.

"Wait" he said as he absentmindedly grabbed her wrist then paused as he felt that all too familiar surge of energy run through his hands and throughout his body. It was the same electric shock that he had felt the first day they had ever chilled together although this one seemed much stronger. April looked at him then down at his hand on her wrist and for a few seconds he could see a twinkle in her eyes and just before he could blink the look was already gone. She immediately yanked her wrist away and rubbed it as if his touch had burned her flesh.

"Why do you have to make this so damn difficult for me? Why can't you just let me be? Haven't you done enough" she fired off frustrated looking like she was seconds away from throwing a full blown fit.

Dave sighed. He hated this shit. "Can you please just hear me out? All I need is a few minutes" he asked just hoping she would spare him a few minutes of her time.

April sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes which he still didn't like but he couldn't do shit about it. "Give me a second" she said then closed the door on him.

He thought that she wouldn't come back and he was prepared to walk away defeated but a minute or so later she came back and joined him outside making sure to close the door behind herself. She leaned against the door frame then lit a blunt making him groan. This is what he had been waiting for but sadly they couldn't share that moment. She had officially stopped breast feeding Charlie after weening her off of breast milk and putting her on whole milk and now she was back to her regularly scheduled program which was blowing it down. He still wanted that wild and freaky night with no limits filled with mind blowing passion with her blowing it down while she rode his dick into the sunset as they got fucked up off of a bottle or two of Henny. Shaking the thoughts from his head he tried his best to get his thoughts together before the head between his legs started thinking for him. Thinking a bit more clearly that was something he should've done before marching his ass over here. He had no plan. He hadn't rehearsed any lines. He was unprepared as hell and now standing in front of her he really didn't know why he was here in the first place besides just wanting to be in her presence.

"Any minute now" April said as she looked at her wrist where she normally kept a watch. "I have a kid free night and weekend after a long week and my sisters are here for a girl's night" she reminded him before she took a pull from her blunt then let the smoke camp out in her mouth before releasing it through her nostrils.

"I didn't think this through" he said and scratched his head.

"Then maybe you should try again another time" she said clearly annoyed with him.

"Ma I can't go on like this" he said and wiped his hand over his face as he continued to blurt out how he felt. "Ok so we're not dating and we're only co-parenting but I hate this shit. We started off as friends why can't we go back to that. It's been months and yea you let up some but why can't you give me a chance to be ya friend again. Shit is still the same I come and you go. I walk in you walk out. If I'm in a room you're across the room. Why can't we be like you and Chris? Y'all are friends and co-parenting why can't we do that shit? I miss my fuckin best friend and yes I know it's my fault but can't we at least try to be friends" Dave said and asked. He hated to bring Chris into the equation but he figured he would since they were somewhat in the same boat. He couldn't understand why they couldn't be friends and why was it so difficult to share the same space.

April looked at him before blowing out a cloud of smoke. "You don't get it do you" she said and shook her head in disbelief as if she was tired of explaining herself over and over again. "First off I need you to stop comparing what we have with the relationship I have with Chris the sooner you do it the better off you'll be. It's not the same. Sure we've been through some shit together but it's not what I went through with you. I'm not in love with Chris. I have love for him as the father of my children and my friend so it's easier to be cordial with him. Most importantly what I keep reminding you is that we got the closure we needed so now we know where each other stands" she said and paused. "But I can't do that shit with you. Everything is too fresh and too raw. I can't be your friend right now when I'm still in love with you. It's not that easy for me to switch the shit off. Ya ass doesn't even realize that my ass would've still been by ya side if you had opened up to me...which you still haven't" she cut her eyes at him. "We could've gone through this shit together" she stressed fed the fuck up with him and his shit then passed him the blunt. "Looks like you need it more than me and you can keep it because I don't know where the fuck ya lips been" and then there was that petty side of her seeping out.

Dave happily took the blunt while mugging the fuck out of her before taking a big ass pull. "My lips ain't been on no one and nowhere. The last time they touched anyone on that level was when I was with you" he spoke truthfully. The thought of getting with anybody other than April hadn't even crossed his mind. He wasn't on that type of time. He was busy out here just trying to make it back home.

April shrugged. "Hey I don't care what you do" she said and he knew damn well then to believe that shit. He didn't give a fuck what they were going through he knew that him being with anybody else other than her that she'd be pissed off just like his ass would. She could fake the funk all day long but he'd never buy that shit. He refused to. He would have to see it in order to believe it.

He didn't even bother to acknowledge the shit. He knew that she knew that he wasn't fuckin with anybody. If he had that shit would've been out by now. "Ma I really want to tell you what's going on and how I'm really feeling bout all the shit you asked me but I'm just not ready to bring that shit to ya table. I'm not ready to unload all of my baggage on you" he confessed. "I know you understand some of the shit I'm going through because you've been through it but it's just too much"

"Here you go messing up my high" she said and rolled her eyes. "Look since we've been broken up all you've been doing is saying ya gonna fight and you haven't even raised a fist. From where I'm standing you haven't even made an effort to bring ya ass back to me or our home. Career wise and physical appearances you've been doing ya thing but mentally and emotionally you haven't done anything from what I can see. I low key hoped you'd handle ya business by now and we wouldn't have to cancel the wedding but you've done nothing and that's something you have to live with. I prayed you would get it together but you haven't so we're still stuck in this bullshit ass gray area where ya pushing and I'm pulling away. I bet you've told the boys exactly how you feel and yet you can't even murmur half of it to me. If you needed me all you had to do was tell me but you threw everything we had away including me" she freely and truthfully spoke. "You want this shit" she said pointing between the two of them. "Then you work for that shit but instead all you've been doing is running from the shit. I need actions not words. Ya words don't mean shit to me anymore. I can't take what you say for face value"

That shit stung. "I haven't been running I'm just not ready to address any of it" he quipped. No one besides his father and Imam knew that he had started his healing journey. He had wanted to tell April so bad but he wasn't at that point. He didn't feel like he had made it far enough in his journey to voice anything.

April chuckled and shook her head. "So why are you here? Ya not telling me anything new. You want to be friends but that's something I just can't do. So if that's all you wanted to discuss then you have ya answer so now you can go" she said almost as if she was shooing him off.

Once again Dave wiped his hand over his face frustrated then took another pull from the blunt before tossing the bud of the blunt in the ashtray he kept by their front door. "I just came to see if we could work on our friendship while I worked on my personal life. I'm struggling over here with knowing how I ended shit and how I did you. None of this shit was supposed to go down this way"

"How the fuck do you think I feel? Look you don't think us being friends would bother you? It would bother the fuck out of me when I know what we were. I can't handle that shit right now. Maybe one day but not today. I just can't. With you I want more than a friendship and I know that's something I can't have because that's something you can't provide. Nor am I checking for you. I gotta let you go. Why would you try and put yourself through that kind of torture" she said and questioned as she took a seat on the porch then placed her head in her hands.

Just hearing her say that she had to let him go wasn't sitting right with him. How could she let him go when all he was doing was trying to make it back to her? How could she let him go after everything they had been through? "I just want any part of you that I can get right now" he confessed then took a seat beside her. He knew he couldn't have all of her right now but unlike April he'd take some of her rather than none of her.

Head still in her hands April muffled a scream. "I need more than a friendship with you. I don't want to be just ya friend. When is it gonna click for you" she asked. "You lost everything. You lost me, ya family, and the house with ya name on the deed. You wake up and go to sleep alone. You enter an empty house. You take Kairi to school in the mornings. I pick her up afterschool and after we've had dinner you come and pick her up to take her home with you instead of walking her upstairs to her fuckin bedroom. Charlie whines and sometimes throws tantrums every time you and Kairi walk out this very same door" she said and pointed back towards the front door. "Kairi walks out all sad that y'all are leaving home to go to a place where me and Charlie won't be. You've hit a huge milestone with filming Wutang and you know my ass would've been all over the internet shouting you out, plugging you, giving you credit, and being ya cheerleader and now you don't have that. Your modeling contract same thing. Unlimited amounts of mind blowing toe curling raw spine tingling nasty ass sex. My body was yours. My mind and soul belonged to you. My heart you held in the palm of your hands. So how could you even be comfortable with being just my friend? I can't do that shit" April said as she kept her eyes straight ahead not even trying to look at him. "You can't be friends with someone you just wanted so badly to have a baby with"

Dave groaned as shit finally and fully clicked for him. He was so pissed at himself. How could he be just friends with her? He couldn't. He needed more of her. Yet here he was still not ready to make the biggest leap in his journey.

April finally looked over at him. "Being friends with me sounded cool but you didn't really factor in all of that did you"

"Nah I didn't" he admitted defeated once again.

"You've lost enough to set a fire under ya ass to motivate you enough to handle ya business but you keep pussy footing. I don't know what else you have to lose to make you get the help and the closure you need. Whatever it is I just hope it doesn't cost you too much more than it already has" she said sincerely.

Dave thought about it for a second. He did lose out on a lot and just like his brothers had said too what else did he have to lose before he actually got his shit together. He didn't know and didn't want to find out either because to him he felt like he had damn near lost everything. "I gotta get my shit together" he huffed more so saying it to himself.

"That you do" April said and patted his back. "Any, who I'm pretty sure it's been more than five minutes and if I stay out here with you any longer my new nigga might get a lil upset" she said smirking then stood up from the step.

Dave's head jerked to the side so damn fast it could've snapped. "Ya what April don't make me fuck you up out here" he exclaimed and stood to his full height not here for the jokes.

April bust out laughing. "Ouuu you said my name you must be big mad. Remember Brewster we're not together anymore so I can do as I please and trust you won't do shit but he will" she taunted and teased him.

"Let me get the fuck outta here before I bend ya ass over this railing and show you what another nigga can't do for you. Keep playing with me you can say ya single all day long until ya black and blue in the face but we all know that this" he said and cupped the fuck out of her fat ass pussy. "And this" he removed his hand and placed it on her racing heart. "Belongs to me" he said then bent down and kissed her forehead then walked off mugging nothing and nobody.

"My nigga not gonna like that shit you just pulled Brewster" April said in between laughing. "The disrespect. By the way my heart and pussy belong to no one but me and at this point I can get dick from anyone" she winked. "As far as my heart no one gets to hold that again but me"

"Yea aight fuck ya nigga or any other nigga tryna come ya way. We both know what it is" Dave said with his whole chest before hopping inside of his Bentley truck and watched April as she laughed her ass back inside of the house and closed the door. He couldn't help but to take his anger out on his steering wheel as he punched it a few times looking like a mad man. All he could hear was his brothers warning him not to pull up on April. They kept telling him but he just wouldn't listen. Bro leave her alone she chilling tonight she doesn't need you interrupting her shit. Bruh until ya ready let her be. You go over there and fuck around and get ya feelings hurt then what. Leave her alone. He could hear them all telling him that popping up on April was the wrong move and now he had to agree with them because it was indeed the wrong move. He knew before he stepped out of the house that nothing good would come out of it but he needed to see her and be close to her even if it wasn't the outcome he wanted.

"Fuck ya nigga" he repeated out loud before starting the truck. He knew what he needed to do and he was determined to get it done. He'd be damn to let another nigga step into his territory and claim what he knew belonged to him. First things first he needed to talk to his father. He needed to get his thoughts together and he needed some guidance. He wanted so bad to tell April that he was working on himself but like she said she needed actions and not words so he was taking heed. He knew his words no longer held weight with her so he wanted to make sure he was actually getting his shit together before stepping to her again. The next time he came to get her back he wanted to be 100% ready so that there was no chance that she'd brush him off or walk away. It felt like it was crunch time like time was slipping through his fingers and all he was trying to do was grasp it.

April was right though he had been pussy footing when it came to getting closure with Millie. But now it was no way around it. He was working on everything else and getting closure from Millie was now his top priority. Besides she was the main reason why he was stuck in this predicament to begin with. So yea operation put his big boy briefs was on and finally get closure was in full effect. Come hell or high water he was going to finish doing whatever he needed to do to heal him-self and get his woman back.

Making his way back home he parked, turned off the car, hopped out, locked up, and made his way inside of the house. He was still getting use to this place but even being here he still felt a little closer to April. Bypassing his brothers who were most likely still in the basement he made his way upstairs and straight to what he now called his bedroom which was the master bedroom aka April's bedroom. He slipped out of his kicks and clothes, grabbed the blunt out of the ashtray that he had from earlier then picked up the phone and called his father. He was back in Jersey. Neither he nor Ian had come down with his and April's mother. Just thinking about Ian made Dave groan. Ian had respectfully came for him and told him to stay away from his child until he was 100% certain and ready for her and that type of commitment and now he had already went against his words.

"Hey Jr" Senior answered on the third ring.

Dave sighed. "I think I fucked up pops and I need help well I just need to talk" he said not even attempting to beat around the bush. Going to see April and trying to mend a friendship was like losing at playing a board game. Instead of moving five steps forwards he was bouncing five steps backwards when all he was trying to do was get ahead and win.

"Whatcha do Jr" he asked already knowing it had to be something to make him backtrack. Dave could hear him shuffling around most likely going to grab a beer, go take a seat in the living room, and kick his feet up in his recliner.

"I derailed from my plan" he answered. Going to see April like he did was a big no, no in his self-healing journey.

Senior sighed then chuckled. "So you went to see her knowing damn well she was having a girl's night and the kids weren't there" he just knew his ass couldn't stay away from her to save his life.

"Pops"

Senior chuckled again. "Stop setting yourself up for failure. You knew nothing good would come out of popping up on her. I told you to let her be. If it isn't about my grandkids leave her alone. She's not about to rush and jump back into your arms just because she loves you. She needs actions and until you can show her that you're ready you aren't gonna get anywhere but on her bad side"

"But I am working on it. I'm not just talking bout it" Dave quipped and took a pull from his blunt. The weed he was smoking on was his next project so he was testing it out to see how he liked it. So far so good but he needed his shit to be superb top quality Grade A before he put his name on it and put it on the market.

"You are but did you tell her that" Senior asked and Dave just knew he had his brows furrowed.

"I wanted to but I don't think she'd believe me and you and I both know I haven't done the hardest part of this damn journey yet. She knew I told the boys how I was feeling and I still couldn't talk to her bout it. I just feel like I already piled enough baggage on her as it is and I'm not ready to drop the rest of the bag on her" he felt like if he told April everything that it would probably make her stay away from him forever. Like talking out loud would dampen what they had and maybe make her think that they shouldn't even try getting back together. It would seem like it wasn't worth it like he wasn't worth it.

"You and I both know that if you would've told her everything she would've understood where ya coming from. If that woman isn't anything else she's definitely understanding. Everyone who enters a relationship has some type of baggage. It might not be the type of baggage you have but it might be mommy and daddy issues. It could be a list of things. It doesn't have to be a shit load of baggage it could be some lil shit but everybody comes with something. Like that quote goes 'Everyone comes with baggage. Find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack'. That's what you have in April. Tell her how you feel. You know like I know if you opened up she'd be right there beside you. But I advise you to hold off on telling her until you handle your business"

"One day I will tell her. I just need her to know that I'm fighting. Hearing her say that I'm not fighting for her hurt like hell she has no faith in me anymore"

"Son you've been fighting since the day you told her you would. The first thing you did was come and talk to me about everything. Then you went back to Jersey to film and on your free time you went back to the Masjid. You've been moving in silence and I like that shit. You haven't broadcasted any of it which makes it more personal and meaningful to you. You're not out here boasting about fighting you're out here fighting and I know it's hard but you are fighting. I still think you need to get some therapy but the fact that you've been coming to me venting and talking when you need it shows you're willing to put in the work. You have been putting in the work" Senior reminded him that he was indeed making moves. To everyone else it might look like he was bullshitting but he wasn't. With how the boys felt about his relationship with Agnes he felt like this was a move he needed to make all on his own without the influence of any of them.

Dave sighed and released a cloud of smoke. "I know Pops I just want her to know that she's still my end game" he said feeling so damn defeated. He couldn't help but to.

"And you will let her know when the time is right and right now isn't the right time because you're still not ready to let her in. When you get to that point and you talk to Agnes then you step to her. Until then you finish what you started"

Dave nodded as if his father could see him. "I need to see Agnes. I can't keep pushing that shit off. The longer I do the longer it takes me to get back home and I need to get back home. Ma out here thinking I'm not fighting for her and I can't have that shit"

"Are you ready for that" Senior questioned wondering when he'd actually be ready to get the closure he needed.

"Ready as I'll ever be. I feel like in order for me to be real bout everything with ma then I need to talk to Agnes and get the answers and closure I need to move forward. Honestly she's the only thing really holding me back. Physically and spiritually I'm good. It's the emotional and some of the mental that I'm struggling with" Dave admitted. He hadn't taken anything that April had said for granted. When he told her he was going to fight that's exactly what he did.

"And what if you talk to her and she doesn't have any answers to your questions"

"I'd be frustrated but at the end of the day I know I spoke my peace and let everything out. She needs to know what she did to not only me but my family. Kairi, ma, and I have all been mixed up in her bullshit. She needs to be held accountable for that shit. I no longer wish to hold onto the bullshit she caused and keep her safe. She tossed her own flesh and blood into some bullshit not thinking bout how it would affect her and it's time to let her know. It's time to let her know that I have to break all of those promises because they aren't worth keeping just like she isn't" Dave spoke with conviction. It was way pass time to take off the gloves when it came to Millie. Everybody was paying for her bullshit except her. Dave's whole family had been tossed upside down and around because of her and he finally wanted out of the bullshit that was called Millie.

"That's what the fuck I'm talking about Jr" he said proud and happy that Dave was finally ready to take off the rose colored glasses. He was ready to let go of what had been holding him back for years before April had even stepped into the picture. "Only one thing left for you to do"

"And that's call Unc" Dave said finishing his thought. Something had to give because he was tired of not being home where he belonged. It had been four months without his woman and four months without being home with both of his baby girls. Four months of sleepless cold nights. Four months of being miserable and sad. Four months with a constant pain in his heart. Four months too long to be without the one he loved and four months of what ifs.

He knew exactly who and what he wanted and now looking back even if they hadn't broken up he still wouldn't have been ready to be April's husband. He realized if they had jumped over the broom that it wouldn't have been fair to him or April because he had that constant dark cloud name Millie floating above him wherever he went. The trauma she caused would've sunk its teeth so deep into their marriage and collapsed it from the ground up. He didn't want to bring that baggage, trauma, and those insecurities into what was supposed to be his forever and happy ending. So yes Dave indeed knew what he was missing out on and he wasn't trying to take that or this time away from home for granted...not anymore. He didn't care if he had to crawl back to love. Whatever he had to do he was going to do even therapy and he wouldn't tell anyone about that until need be including his father. That one he was doing all on his own.

"What if I do all of this and I get the closure I need and ma still doesn't want to fuck with me" Dave questioned and leaned back against the bed after putting the bud of his blunt out.

"One step at a time Jr. But I'm not gonna lie to you, you got some work to do and it damn sure won't be easy to get her back. You'll have to fight for her just like she asked you to. You have to start from the bottom like the day you first met her. You broke her heart and her trust so you have to earn them both back. You know what she likes and dislikes so be yourself but be open and honest with her. No more secrets, no more lies, and most importantly no more hiding your feelings. You say she's your best friend so give and show her your all. Do shit just because and not because you feel obligated to do it. Show her that you're here for her and only her. Sounds easy but it won't be. She needs to see and feel that there's no doubt in your mind that she's the only one for you. She needs to know that there's no more Agnes holding you back"

Dave nodded once more. "Heard ju Pops" he was going to kick his shit up a notch. April's ass wasn't one of those women who liked fancy shit. Sure she enjoyed the fruits of her labor but fancy shit didn't impress her. She wanted thoughtful gifts. Shit that you had to think about and held meaning because she damn near had everything and if she wanted something she'd go ahead and buy it herself.  "She mentioned having a nigga and I know her ass was just being petty to get under my skin but I hope she ain't giving someone else her time and attention"

Senior laughed a little. "If she is you can't do shit about it. She's single and free to do whatever and whomever she wants. If she does you'll just have to really come with you're a game and sweep her off her feet. You can't be mad either because you dropped the ball on this one. But don't beat yourself up. Let her live her life and you just remember to take things one step at a time. Worry about that part when you get there. Remember healing takes time and there's no time limit on how fast it takes someone to heal so don't rush it. Take your time so you can properly heal your mind, body, and soul during this journey" Senior wanted him to take his time. Sure it had already been four months but if he didn't heal all the things in his life properly rushing back to April still wouldn't work. He still wouldn't be ready. It would be a false start and another failed mission.

"Heard ju" he sighed still hating the idea of April being with anybody else besides him. But most of all he hated that she thought he wasn't out here fighting for the both of them. He had heard everything she said loud and clear the day they hashed it out with their parents. The words she said resonated in him. They had become his new mantra. Every day before he started his day and every night before he closed his eyes he repeated them out loud to himself. "You David Lawrence Brewster Jr deserve to be loved. You deserve to be happy. You deserve peace of mind. You deserve to be cared for. You deserve to be cherished. You deserve the love that I pour all over you. I need you to see your worth. Let me love you the way you deserve". He knew April genuinely meant those words but she didn't know just how much those words had fueled him because he knew that he was worth way more than what he had dealt with, with Millie and now it was time to set him-self free. He was going to clean out his closet.

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-Hey boos happy reading I hope y'all enjoyed. Sorry for the late update but I've been busy 🥴🤷🏾‍♀️. Shoutout to my good sis @issimplyaamazing for literally sending me this pic of Papi today because Papi is looking damn goodT 🤤.
-Now y'all know it had to be Dave at the door just like y'all know I couldn't have Papi out here not fighting for his woman and his family. He's working on it. Sure it's taking him some time but he is working on himself. He's been working on his faith. For those who don't know what an Imam is it is the person who leads the prayers in a mosque. He has been pussyfooting when it comes to Agnes but he's finally ready now 🍾🍻.
-I know a few of you mentioned that Dave needed to go get help and not even talk to his father about what was going on but I think that was the right person to talk to. If a man can't have a real conversation and seek advice from his father then who can he talk to. Luckily they both know that Dave needs therapy and now Dave is actually ready to seek help. Therapy should do him some good.
-I'm sorry I don't know about y'all but I love when April be on her petty shit 🥴. If y'all were in her shoes would y'all be willing to be Dave's friend 🤔.
-That conversation with Millie though lawd I can't wait to see what my mind comes up with for that. If y'all were Dave what would y'all ask her 🤔.
-Any, who sharing is caring so tell a friend to tell a friend. Don't forget to comment, vote, & add to your libraries 🥰
-If you are reading & not commenting no problem just make sure you color the ⭐️ please & thank you 🥰