Chapter 5: Survive the Night

I love you
You just take advantage 'cause you know I do
I can't wait until I'm strong enough to walk away
I can't wait until your love don't make me feel a way
[Survive the Night: By Chris Brown]

The Present...4 Months Later

April

It's funny how a nigga tells you all these magical words and that he's going to fight for you and sheds a few measly ass tears in front of not only you but your parents and his parents and instead of fighting he does the complete opposite because he damn sure wasn't fighting not from what April could see anyway. These past few months April's reality had changed tremendously and she was officially over Dave fighting for her or getting his shit together. He still wasn't ready to deal with his demons and she wasn't going to continue to push him and tell him what she wanted from him. It was pointless. He was doing everything else but fighting. Sure he wasn't out here chasing pussy and comfort from other bitches but he was out here living his life without her. From April's point of view Dave making it back home to her wasn't a factor. He seemed to just be working on his physical appearance and his career as a rapper, actor, and model or she could be wrong but that's what it felt and looked like to her. His career had been going good from what April could see. But she had long stopped checking for him so she didn't give a fuck what he was up to just as long as they were happily co-parenting and the kids were taken care of then she was straight. As long as nothing interfered with that she was good.

As far as her life she was single...single, on momma duty, and officially back at work. After Charlie's epic first birthday party April focused on her career. Things were still a little rocky because she was finally back after being gone for so long but it was smoothing out pretty nicely. She enjoyed being back at work doing what she loved and being around that whole environment. Everyone in her LA office had happily welcomed her back. They had even had a little welcome back party for her curtesy of Mimi. Besides being a great mother work is where she thrived and with the way media had went in on her and Dave's breakup and yet another epic fail of not making it down the aisle work was her safe haven. In those four walls the outside world didn't matter. Sure she knew that some of her employees gossiped but none of it had gotten out of hand to where she had to address it or felt disrespected. Besides she knew people talked. When the media got wind of their breakup life turned into a shit storm for a second and she was still dealing with the aftermath. Some people were genuinely upset about their breakup because they were so-called #goals. Some were hoping that their breakup was temporary. Some were saying that they knew they wouldn't last and were holding out hope for Dave and Millie to reconcile no matter how toxic their relationship was. If it wasn't toxic then it wasn't real enough because relationships had to be filled with arguments and bullshit.

Some were ready to hop off the bench to come scoop up Dave. Shit even men and women were trying to slide their way to April. Then there were the ones questioning why April couldn't successfully make it down the aisle or keep a man. Something obviously had to be wrong with her since she couldn't keep R&B sensation and GOAT Chris Brown and Harlem's Finest Dave East. No one was really questioning what they had done and why they couldn't keep April though. It was her fault that they left her and not the other way around like it truly was. Social media headlines were the absolute worst. Billionaire software tech April Blackmon ex fiancé/baby mama of Chris Brown and ex fiancé of Harlem rapper Dave East seem to be having trouble in paradise sis can't seem to keep a man. Or Billionaire April Blackmon can make money in her sleep but can't pay a man to stay. When she thought they couldn't get any worse that's just what they did. They got worse. Youtube channels were even making videos reacting to their breakup and acting like they had inside tea and didn't even have as much as a fuckin tea bag or a kettle to heat their luke warm water in. Once again she was painted as the villain because people refused to believe that their faves had fucked up.

Even when Dave and Chris stepped in to defend her it still did nothing for her. But she realized a long time ago that people loved bad publicity and never the good. It was a fuckin mess to the point she rarely posted anything on social media. Granted she was already off of social media but she did post every now and then when it was related to Dave's achievements, tours, or little pictures of the girls and now she did nothing. She hadn't posted anything since Barbados and that was four months ago. If you did see her on there it was because family had posted her up on theirs and if the kids popped up it was the family doing it as well and not her. The only time she was really on social media is when it came to her business page and even then she had someone running that page for her. She just approved what she wanted posted. Talk shows like the Real, radio stations, and podcasts were reaching out for interviews and as usual she had declined all of them. Sure she wanted to speak her peace and clear her name but what good was it going to do. People were still going to talk and assume what they wanted so she said fuck it. Besides she didn't have time to dwell on foolishness when she had been working extra hard on some new software that she had put on hold before she left so she could tend and be there for Charlie's first year. Now since she had been back that had been her main focus especially since she wanted to release it on New Years.

Speaking of Charlie well the kids in general they were doing ok but still adjusting to April and Dave's breakup. They knew Charlie knew something was different but it hit Kairi harder since she was older. It took her a while to compute what was actually going on around her. It was easy while Dave was back in Jersey filming but once he came home and gradually started moving his belongings out of the house Kairi wasn't having it. She questioned everything and even threw a full blown fit until they all came to an understanding. Instead of buying a condo or renting a home Dave moved into April's old place with Errol just so Kairi could still have the amenities that she was use to instead of shelling out more money. So instead of paying for anything at their home he was now paying whatever needed to be paid at the old place which he insisted because he didn't want to live off of April. The home was familiar to Kairi so it was important for her mental to do it that way. Dave along with their parents talked April into staying put at the new spot and although it bothered her some days most days weren't too bad. It also kept Kairi adjusted as well knowing that this home wouldn't change.

With all the new changes they couldn't handle Kairi spiraling downhill so they immediately got her professional help. They always told her that they loved her and where they were going when they weren't in her sight. They told her how long they would be gone and most importantly that they would always return. Whatever the therapist asked and required of them they did it to make sure Kairi knew that they 100% had her back and best interest. It was still a work in progress but for the most part it was working. They still had her in therapy. She went once a week and sometimes she did have a fit where she would act out but they weren't frequent. It was understandable though since a lot had changed around her. All in all the kids were good though. Charlie was officially one, walking, running, and talking. The way everyone talked to her she'd be just like Kairi talking clearly and ahead of her time in no time. She was her father's baby though because they all knew she was going to have his classic lisp and April was already ready to get her into speech classes as soon as possible.

*******

Any who, right about now April was at home with her sisters having a girls' night because now it was mandatory to have an official girls night once every two weeks with her sisters and the two women who were worming their way into their hearts Vonnii and Tesha. This particular girls' night was held at April's place and the mood was lit. She had gotten the family room transformed into a full on spa. They had the masseuse including the massage tables, their favorite nail techs, at home pedicure stations set up, and even eyebrow waxing and threading. The lights were dimly lit, peppermint candles were lit to lift their spirits, R&B music played in the background, and drinks were served. It was a fuckin vibe and money well spent. They all needed this time to unwind from their busy day to day lives. They needed a moment to smell the roses while they could. Between everyone's work day and April and Alaina dealing with kids this day was needed. April's kids were with their grandmothers and Alaina's were back with their parents since the school day was officially over. Once the masseuse and technicians were done and the equipment was of out of April's house the festivities were in full affect. Ebony was fixing jolly rancher slushees, Alaina was passing them out, and April was doing what she does best...rolling blunts because she was officially back in the game.

"I swear I love my baby but this shit right here has been missed dearly" April said as she looked at the wine glass filled with an apple jolly rancher slushy in one hand and a freshly rolled blunt in her other. The girls laughed at her. The first day her ass finally hit the blunt that shit almost took her ass out but now she was back on her shit. Nowadays she didn't OD since she still had children to take care of and she couldn't be high around them. It made her feel like she was lacking or irresponsible when she did. The first day she hit the blunt she let the girls stay with Chris since Royalty wanted to have a sleepover with her sisters. That night she had rolled herself a well-deserved fat ass blunt, grabbed a bottle of Henny, turned on some music, and sat in her she cave wondering what the fuck was going on in her life for shit to be so ass backwards. Let's just say that night she was higher than high, horny as fuck, and frustrated with life. By the next day she was well acclimated and ready to claim her spot in the world of weed.

"Ok so since I have you all here we need to talk" April said as she looked around the room at her sisters before taking a pull from her blunt. Since the girls had found out about her and Dave's breakup and wedding cancellation they had been by her side like the true ride or die they were. They were there for her whenever she needed a shoulder to cry on, to lean on, to talk to, to vent, and just let her know that everything was going to be ok. When she felt like breaking down they had been there to build her right back up. She owed them a lot because like always they had come through for her. Even with Vonnii and Tesha not being around long enough they had been by her side and she appreciated it because they damn sure didn't have to. As far as Alaina, Ebony, and Mimi they were heavy on Dave's heels ready to beat his ass and for a moment April considered it but decided against it because he wasn't worth it but not before they ripped his ass to shreds. They had come for his whole life just like she would come for their spouses over them. Sure they understood why he was going through the motions but it was the whole dragging April along and playing house that bothered them. They couldn't understand how he let things get that far and let alone still wanting to be connected to Millie. To them it was a slap in the face for sitting up in April's face playing games. He had so many chances to fix things and yet he wasn't fixing a damn thing.

"Bout what" they all asked in unison sounding like a damn choir.

April laughed at just how in sync they were. "Well as you guys know my would be wedding date is approaching next month and instead of being down in the dumps I was thinking that we could hop in the jet the week of the wedding and head to Barbados for a girls trip. I already have everything handled so all y'all need to do is say yes, pack ya shit, and we can dip. I need to go show my ass for a minute. I ain't tied down to a nigga. I got babysitters on deck curtesy of my parents. I got my NDA's fresh and hot off the press. I just want to go live life, show off these new tats, get in some good kind of trouble, and possibly get some island dick" she said extra hype. She had thought long and hard about this. She'd rather enjoy her new found singleness. She wouldn't allow herself to get depressed over shit she had no control over. She also refused to be down in the dumps when the day approached. So she wanted to go and enjoy Barbados to the fullest with her girls in tow. Instead of it being a bad memory she wanted to make it a good one and what better way then have an all-expense paid girls' vacation with her favorite girls. She had the villa, chefs, and everything else they needed to have a good time. Shit even if the girls couldn't make it she was still going.

"Bitchhhhhhh sign me the fuck up. I already had those days off for the wedding anyway" Alaina said all hype just like April knew she would even though she was still pissed that there wasn't a wedding.

"Some fun in the sun with my favorite bitches you already know I'm in" Ebony said twerking in her seat always down for the cause. She was glad that April wanted to make a good memory out it.

"Well since my boss is back at work I need to see if I can get those days off but then again since you are my boss and I am ya sister and PA then you need me so I'm there" Mimi said hype as well with her tongue out before sipping on her drink.

"Well in that case you know traveling is my job and traveling is what you want to do then count me in. It's a win, win for me. I'm a need some good footage for my vlog and website though. So that means we'll have to really indulge in the island" Vonnii said willing and ready to go.

"Count me in too. I kept those days free just in case a miracle happened between you and dumbass" Tesha said not even trying to hide the fact that she was pissed. Not only did she hate that shit for April but that was supposed to be a big moment for her and her company. Low key they were all waiting on that miracle to happen but Dave hadn't stepped up to the plate at all. The only thing he had done was fuck April good on Charlie's birthday then went about his business. But oh well April damn sure wasn't dwelling on it anymore. At the end of the day she got some great goodbye dick that quenched her thirst for a spell and now she was just living her life.

April looked at Tesha and then around the room at the rest of the girls and laughed. "Aww boo no worries shit happens. I gave up on that miracle. That's a miracle that's just not happening" April said and shrugged her shoulders then took another hit of her blunt. She had held out hope as well but nothing ever came into fruition so she let it go. "But now that I know we're all free Mimi I'm a need to go through my schedule with you and see if I need to reschedule anything because come hell or high water we're out that week. Shit especially me. I just want to have some fun in the sun with my girls, enjoy the island, dance, and drink, blow it in the wind, eat Barbados cuisine, possibly see what their night life is bout, and just make that day a good memory. I refuse to sulk and harp over a man that ain't ready for me or cry over a wedding that's not meant to be" April said. She was really over it. It took some time but she was more at peace with it then she had been when they had first broken up. Sure some days it bothered her because yet she was human and had gotten her heart broken again but such was life. No matter how much we desire shit it doesn't always go in our favor and this was a lesson she had been constantly taking a course in. Guess this time she needed a refresher course. So now she was going with the flow and wherever life took her then so be it. She was going to enjoy it and whatever was for her then she'd accept it with open arms. Until then Dave was the last person she was checking for.

"Hey I'm here for it. As long as you're actually good and not fake smiling and depressed then we're good. Shit happens for a reason. I know you love Dave and wanted this wedding but it wasn't y'all time. You'd a got married and been stuck with the bullshit he was holding back" Ebony said eyeing her before downing her drink. She couldn't do another fake smiling depressed April anymore especially after seeing her so happy and full of life. Let alone she would hate to see a version of April who had gotten married and ended up not being happy in her marriage.

"No more fake smiles for me that shit is a wrap. That shit is too much hard work for me to maintain. If I'm happy I'm happy. If I'm sad then I'm sad. If I'm pissed then I'm just pissed. It makes no sense to be fake with my emotions if it's gonna cause me more harm than good. I'm human and we have emotions so I'll deal with shit as it comes" April said. She had been talking to her therapist lately just so she wouldn't get stuck in her dark place and so far so good. She had no time to back track especially not over a man again. She wasn't about to prance around acting anyway to appease anyone if she felt a certain way then so be it. If she was sad, a little depressed, or pissed she'd live in the moment for a second before handling her emotions properly. "I believe David was around for reason and only for a season. He helped me get back to me but he was never going to be for me" she said and shrugged.

When she had sat down by herself and really thought about everything she was happy to stumble upon Dave because he helped bring her back to life. But knowing what she knows now she just knew he was only around for the reason and that reason only. He was a seasonal love and would continue to be a seasonal until he addressed his issues.

"Do you miss him" Vonnii pretty much blurted out before taking a sip of her drink. She thought they were so cute together she stanned them. She saw the love in their eyes every time they looked or talked about one another. She still saw the look in their eyes even though now she could see the hurt and pain mixed in them.

April laughed then put her attention on Vonnii. She didn't mind the question at all. She knew they all wondered the same thing. "I'd be lying if I said I didn't. How could I not? We'd been together for a year plus, started raising our kids together, and bought this damn mansion together" April said as she motioned her hands around the house. "Shit we were five months away from our wedding. I miss his big goofy ass following me around, loving on me, making me laugh, and just being there in general. Those booty rubs with those magical hands I crave at bed time but I rather be single because what I don't miss is coming in second place to someone who shouldn't even be eligible to compete with me. I don't miss feeling like an afterthought. I go to sleep better at night knowing that I chose me and my peace of mind this time around. It's taking some time to get used to it but I'm ok with it" she said truthfully. This time around things were different. She was choosing herself and it actually felt damn good to make herself a priority for a change. Being stingy felt so damn good!

"If he got his shit together would you give him another chance" Tesha asked while grabbing a hot wing and placing it on her saucer. April had gotten an assortment of wings along with sides of fries, mozzarella sticks, potato skins, celery, and carrot sticks. It was regular wings, hot wings, lemon pepper, and honey barbecue. She had a whole spread of finger foods and desserts for when the munchies kicked in.

Between Tesha and Vonnii they didn't know the full story or extent on what April and Dave were going through. They just knew he was on his shit and that Millie was part of the problem. They just didn't know what Millie had done. What Tesha had asked had been a question that April had thought long and hard about. It was a question that she thought about constantly in the beginning of their breakup. She was on the fence about it.

"If Dave actually got himself together and properly dealt with his baggage I would love too but honestly part of me is on the fence bout it. I'm afraid to end up right where I am right now...heartbroken and alone. I'm afraid to give him my all and fall on my face again. I trusted him twice with my heart and each time he broke it so would it really be different the third time around" she answered and asked as she put the bud of her blunt in the glass ashtray that sat on the table in front of them. She had no problem being vulnerable or sharing how she felt. So many women walked around hiding their true feelings or thinking what the feel aren't warranted. "He's given me something that I never had to deal with when it comes to him and that's trust issues. I've never once had to question that but now I do. How can I trust him not to do the same thing again? How can I trust him with my heart again? My shit was already fragile when I first placed it in the palm of his hands. So he'd have to do a lot to get me back" she answered honestly. She wouldn't fold so easily this time around and that's IF there was even a next time. She had faith in him once before but that dwindled when they broke up. If she couldn't have all of him then she wanted none of him and that was something she was going to have to live with. He would never be completely hers if he didn't rid himself of his baggage.

"That's understandable. Y'all have been through a lot separately and together" Alaina said and nodded before folding her legs into the couch she had been holding down since after they had been pampered. "I want to deck him so fuckin bad but he's still my brother. I know he fucked up bad but I'm rooting for him. I have faith in him. I know I use to root for you and Chris and that was a mistake on my part. Lawd knows I shouldn't have. I should've been telling you to run for the fuckin hills. Do not pass go and do not collect two hundred dollars. But you and Dave hit different. Y'all have something special. Y'all are in sync and the love y'all have for each other can't be matched. Dave just needs to deal with his baggage. I have faith he'll come to his senses sooner or later because he's definitely lost without you"she said. She had spent enough time around Dave to know that his ass was absolutely miserable. Sure she knew what was said in the blow up he and April had and he damn sure needed his ass beat for the one time but there was no denying that he and April had been made for each other.

"Yea his ass be looking and walking around like someone stole his puppy" Vonnii agreed. Every time she saw him now he looked sad. He looked like something was missing and until he found it he would never be the same.

"Word" they all said in unison besides April.

"Sounds like a Dave problem to me. He can't even say someone stole his puppy either because he has Teddy B staying with him too" April said and shrugged and the girls laughed. That shit wasn't her problem anymore. Yup Teddy B was now living with Dave because April wanted Kairi to have him by her side. She didn't want her to be lonely. She still saw him though when Dave brought him around with Kairi.

"He's a mess though. He be walking around pouting and mugging at the same damn time and I'm still wondering how he can do both at the same damn time" Mimi said making them all laugh.

"Like I said that's a Dave problem" she shrugged. "Trust I understand how y'all feel La" April said focusing back on Alaina. "The ball is in his court and so far he hasn't dribbled shit my way not even a damn alley-oop. We co-parent peacefully but anything else nothing. If it isn't bout the kids we have absolutely nothing to talk bout. I told him what I needed from him and he can't deliver that shit and I refuse to hold his hand while he gets himself together"

"What bout marriage" Ebony asked as she glanced at April over her wine glass about to take a sip of her drink. After two failed weddings she needed to know how April felt about marriage in general.

April sighed. "Marriage isn't high on my to do list anymore. It's one of those things that if it happens it happens but I'm not on it like I was before. Getting burnt twice has changed my perspective bout certain things. Sometimes I feel like long term relationships aren't for me and marriage may not be in my cards. Trust I'm not saying it won't happen because I can't predict the future but I'm not heavy on it anymore. When I think bout marriage now it doesn't feel the same anymore I don't get giddy or excited. I get a lil depressed" she said keeping it real with them. Every time she thought about marriage her heart felt heavy. She thought about how her wedding dress was sitting in the closet that she never got the chance to do her last fitting and all three of her babies dresses that hung alongside hers. Or how they went all the way to Barbados to see the venue and the very next day Dave had broken her heart and their relationship was over and done with right along with their highly anticipated wedding.

"I'm sorry but I'm pissed the fuck off that marriage and relationships have soured for you. Just to get a glimpse of how happy and excited you were to now hearing that it's pretty much whatever sucks. It's like they sucked the joy out of it for you. What was supposed to be a moment for you has been tarnished and that's not right" Alaina said. She was upset that this is what had come of her sister when marriage had always been what she wanted and now it was pretty much an afterthought.

"Aww babes don't be sad for me. I don't want a pity party. Shit happens just don't let what's going on in my life affect ya feelings on relationships and marriage. So when my lil big brother asks for ya hand in marriage you better say yes" April said smiling at Alaina. She wanted her to do and be better than her. She knew that August loved her sister and marriage was definitely in their cards. Let alone like she said she didn't want a pity party. She didn't want anyone to feel sorry for her. If anything just take her life as a lesson learned.

"Shittttttt" Alaina dragged. "You ain't gotta worry bout that just make sure my ring fits my amazing personality because we all know he's gonna ask you to help him pick it out" Alaina said cheesing and making them all burst out laughing at her antics.

"I gotchu" April said in between laughing. She knew that August would definitely call her up to help him even though he'd probably choose the right ring himself.

"So are you open to dating or ya gonna try the single thing" Mimi asked curiously.

"Now that's an easy one. I'm single as a Pringle and ready to mingle. I don't want to do shit but have fun so nothing serious for me this time around. I mean did y'all bypass me saying my NDA's are fresh and hot off the press and I'm on the hunt for some Barbados dick. You know a nice piece of caramel or chocolate with a mandigo swinging between his legs" she said dead ass serious. People might've thought that she would be moving too fast but she didn't care she was living for herself. Besides everything she did people talked about and honestly time was too short not to enjoy herself. Let alone she wasn't looking for a permanent fix.

The girls laughed. "So absolutely no waiting on Dave" Vonnii asked.

"Absolutely not I've been there and done that. Y'all have just missed out on that chapter" April answered with conviction. She was way past waiting on a nigga to get his shit together especially when she gave him a chance the first time around. The next man that entered her life had to be past the bullshit, worthy, and only for her. "Granted I'll probably forever love his bitch ass and I know he's my person but waiting on him to get his shit together ain't it. He wouldn't do that shit for me. When we first started getting serious he told me I needed to handle my shit with Chris and I gave him the chance to do the same but it never happened on his end. So no I'm not putting my life on pause like that especially when there's no telling when it'll even happen. It's already been four months and still nada. I'm a continue to live my life as I see fit and not what I see fit in a man or how others think I should live. Fuck around and be waiting forever and a day because from my window that nigga is moving at a snail's pace" April continued while she grabbed a honey barbecue wing and placed it on her saucer along with some fries.

"I know I can't rush or push him to do what he needs to do. He needs to do it when he's ready. That wouldn't be right or fair to him so at this point he can do as he pleases and I'll just do me. I just know that the next time someone gets on bended knee it won't be a relationship that I've been in for less than a year. I need my next nigga to learn me and for me to learn him and put in that time to get us to the point of where we need to be. The next nigga can't be afraid to reach out for help or shut down on me. The next nigga gotta know his worth and knows what he deserves because yes love has screwed me over time and time again but a bitch needs love just like the next" April said and laughed. The next nigga had to come correct.

"And let the church say amen" Mimi said as she put her plate down and raised her hands in the air.

"Amen" everyone said except Mimi.

"I don't think y'all heard me. I said let the church say amen" she repeated.

"AMEN" they all shouted and laughed.

"But for real all jokes aside how are you really doing? It's been what four months since the breakup then he moved right out as soon as he came back from filming" Alaina solemnly asked.

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-Hey boos happy reading I hope y'all enjoyed. Stay tuned for part 2 😊
-I really don't have much to say at this point. I'll save most of it for part 2. As you can see it's been 4 months since Dave said he'd fight and so far he hasn't done anything...well from April's POV.
-How are you guys feeling? What would be some questions y'all would ask April? How are y'all feeling about that girls trip and April living her single life?
-Any, who sharing is caring so tell a friend to tell a friend. Don't forget to comment, vote, & add to your libraries 🥰
-If you are reading & not commenting no problem just make sure you color the ⭐️ please & thank you 🥰