Chapter 72.1: Inner Demons continued...
April

"Uh yea my fault I'm good" she answered and nodded then popped a piece of fruit in her mouth while Dave sat there and starred at her. April knew what he was doing. He had been doing it for some time now but she just wouldn't let up so she looked away from him. She knew it was something they needed to talk about but she didn't want to talk about it.

"Ma, don't play with me" Dave said sternly causing April to look at him with her brow raised.

"What"

"Come holla at me real quick" he got up from his seat with his eyes still locked on her. She knew better than to test him at a time like this. April knew he wasn't playing and it wasn't time for games. Helping her up from her seat she walked ahead of him and in the house while Teddy followed behind them and went his own way. Teddy probably knew what was about to go down and he didn't want no parts of it.

"Studio" Dave said.

April knew why he chose the studio. One it was closer and two it was sound proof so whoever was in the house wouldn't be able to hear their conversation especially with the house full of family. April opened the door and stepped fully inside with Dave on her heels closing and locking the door behind them. She went to the couch and took a seat while Dave took a seat in one of the office chairs at the soundboard and rolled himself directly in front of her.

"Ma I ain't tryna upset you especially not before ya big day but I'm done. You been like this for months and any other time I'd a been dead this shit but whatever is going with you is bigger than usual so I've been giving you chance after chance to speak up but you keep burying shit. So I'm done waiting. What the fuck is going on with you. I know when shit ain't right. I know how you get just like I know you've been walking around with that bullshit ass smile" he leaned forward looking like he was fed up and if she didn't speak up he'd snap. She should've known that he was going to pull her card one of these days. She was just hoping that by then whatever was going on with her would be over so she could just brush it off.

April looked at him and sighed then looked away. "I don't want to talk bout it" she mumbled still looking away. How could she tell him how she felt when she was embarrassed to even be thinking the way she was?

"Too bad because I want to and we need to" he said and turned her face towards him so she was looking at him and directly in his eyes.

"Can we talk bout it when I'm ready" she asked and huffed like a child.

"No can do ma you been keeping shit bottled in for months. I thought you'd come to me but you've been on some other shit so we not leaving this room until you tell me what's going on. So I'll wait. I don't give a fuck who comes knocking on this door. We ain't leaving till we deal with this shit" Dave said and leaned back into his seat and got comfortable looking like he had all the time in the world.

"Papi" April whined.

"Nah not happening you can pout, whine, seduce me, and whatever else you have up ya sleeve ma but today it's not gonna work. It's a no go"

"Can we please talk bout it later" she asked and toyed with her hands.

"Nah I want to know what's going on and I want you to get everything off ya chest so come tomorrow you won't be in ya head when you should be celebrating and having fun"

"How do I tell the man I love that my inner demons are screaming at me and everything it's screaming is negative" she questioned but didn't need an answer.

"Ma if you in ya head fighting with yourself unload that clip and let me in so we can solve it"

April took a deep breath and looked pass him. "I feel...I...I" she hesitated not knowing where to start.

"Baby it's just me and you in here. We talk bout everything so let me in" Dave said as he now leaned forward and wiped away the tears from April's face that she didn't know had fallen. This is what she didn't want to do. She didn't want to be that emotional frail women. She had cried enough and been through enough. All she wanted to do was just relax and let shit happen but it was hard. She never thought it would be this hard especially since this pregnancy was different.

"I don't want to say it out loud and put it in the air. I don't want to make something out of nothing. I don't want to lose you and Kairi" she partially admitted.

"Why would you lose me and Kairi" he questioned and furrowed his brow confused yet concerned. She knew he didn't know where any of this was coming from because in his book they were good.

Dave wanted her to unload so she did. "I'm seven months pregnant. I can't see my pussy or my feet. I've gained hella weight and honestly I don't feel pretty. I don't feel attractive. I feel like a lil ass bloated whale" she said and cried while Dave looked at her saddened as she confessed to him.

"Baby ya carrying a baby you're supposed to gain weight. That's part of the process and so what if you don't see ya pussy I do and I keep that shit nice and trimmed for you. That pussy my pussy looks damn good and tastes just as sweet as the first time I tasted it" he smirked and cupped her face. Yes Dave had been making sure that she was lined up and freshly trimmed down below since she had stopped getting waxed. She knew it was safe but she just didn't feel comfortable getting one while she was pregnant.

"You are the most beautiful pregnant woman I have ever seen. You're beautiful period and that's facts ma. So when I tell you ya beautiful every day it's because you are beautiful. You still have that glow and whether you want to believe it or not baby girl makes you look even more beautiful. If you ever thought for a second that I'm no longer attracted to you then ya dead wrong. I still feel the same way I did when I first laid my eyes on you. Trust I get it and I understand it. Ya pregnant so ya going through a lot of mixed emotions and ups and downs but shit ain't change" Dave looked at her square in the eyes. April knew he was being genuine but it was her head that wouldn't let her be.

"Ma if I have to tell you ya beautiful every day for the rest of my life I will do so. Whenever ya feeling some type of way and need some assurance I will be right there to tell you ya beautiful. I check niggas on a daily every time some nigga says some shit bout you looking sexy and acting like they're bout to shoot their shot. I dead that shit all day every day so just know being attractive and beautiful is something you don't have to worry bout" Dave said and playfully mugged her.

April looked at him and smiled. Here he was again saying just the right things to make her heart melt once again. She just hoped and prayed that his words sunk in and filled her head with all of the things she already knew. She needed those words to penetrate through her so badly when she felt like shit like right now.

"What else are you hiding from me" he questioned. "Because we both know that ain't all of it because why would you be worried bout losing me and Lil Butt like we're going somewhere"

April sighed. "The family life that we have going on is something I've wanted and dreamed of for so long. I live for it. I love what we are and what we have. Let alone I love our daughter and I would never want to be without you two" April paused and took a deep breath, looked away from him, and then looked back at him.

"I feel like I'm holding you back from living ya life as you please. I'm pregnant and you literally haven't had sex in months. It's only but so much sucking dick can do for you. You're a man and you have needs and although I fulfill all ya needs except ya sexual ones the way you require I feel like you could or might want to get it from someone who can give you what I can't. You could be out here doing whatever you like instead ya here with me playing house. Let alone I'm dragging you along to be in my child's life. Maybe we should've waited until after the baby was born to work on what we have now" she said admitting more of what had been bothering her.

"Go head and finish. Put it all on the table"

"In two months the baby will be here along with Chris. I know you said it'll be an adjustment but are you really ready to deal with that shit to have another man in our space like that. Then there's the baby shower supposedly a day for the parents more so us women but all of us will be there along with our family and friends including the ones that don't know bout the situation. I already know people are gonna question what the hell is going on. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable or feel like you aren't special when you are. I just want us to work so badly and we do but shit is getting real the closer the days go by. It won't be just me anymore. It'll be me and my child. It will no longer be just you, Love Bug, and me. It'll be us four. Can you really sit here and tell me you can handle that"

"First off, ma take a second and breath" Dave said. "Two I love sex just like the next nigga and sure I'd like to beat that shit down and all out the frame but I can't and I'm ok with that. Ma I'm a grown ass man not a sex crazed teenager. Shit I done been locked up for months on end and couldn't get any and yea the circumstances are different but I'm good. I can go without" he said.

"I keep telling you and I'm tired of telling you that if I didn't want this shit I wouldn't be here. When I walked away when you told me the first time I'd a kept it moving but no I went home, smoked, thought bout the pros and cons, and at the end of the day my love for you outweighed everything" he said and wiped his hands over his face frustrated and she could see why. They didn't have any problems she was the one making imaginary things up in her head. They were legit but he was down for the cause.

"Another thing if I wanted to be with someone else I wouldn't even hold you. I'd a let you know what it is. I don't want anybody but you. Do you really think I just went through all that I did to get back to you just to throw it away? Either way you look at it before or after the baby I'd still have to be around Chris and I'd still claim her as if she was mines especially if I want this family shit. I'm not saying that this shit is gonna be a walk in the park but I choose to be by ya side and I ain't going anywhere so get that shit out ya head and don't be trying to push me into another woman's arms. You know damn well if my ass even attempted to leave you for someone else you'd be trying to whoop me and her ass just like I'd do to you if you tried that fuck shit" Dave said and mugged the shit out of her. He was right April would be all over their asses just like he would. They were both serious when they said they were in and there was no out. You were either in or ya in. It was no take backs.

"Look if this is something I didn't want to do; do you think I'd be uprooting our daughter to move her states away from her grandparents to a new home and school? If I didn't want to do this I wouldn't have went half on a fuckin mansion. If I didn't want to do this I wouldn't have signed my name on the dotted line to make that shit official. Real talk I know we're gonna have our ups and downs during this period but I know we'll come out on top. Ma we pray for this shit every night at dinner and before bed. Allah got us" he said as he grabbed her hands and cupped them in his.

Everything he said was true. He had put out, showed up, and showed out. If this was something he didn't want to do he wouldn't have done any of what he did and does on a regular basis. Dave showed and proved every day that this life is what he wanted to be a part of. April just needed to get out of her head and let things be. Granted shit was going to happen regardless but she needed to have a bit more faith. She had been through too damn much for her and Dave's relationship not to work. They survived a break up; bitches plotting on them and against them, so there was no way they couldn't survive this part of their journey. So she was going to pray about this and see what the outcome would be. She knew if it all failed at least they tried.

"Papi I've been trying my hardest to get this shit off my mind but I'm scared that once the baby comes things will change and our relationship will go left" April pouted and sunk into the couch.

"Positive vibes ma in order for this shit to work we need to be on the same page. Can you do that for me" he asked.

"I'll try Papi. I don't want to lose this" April said and nodded her head.

"That's all I ask lil big mama" he looked at her and smiled. "Don't worry bout the shower I'll let Chris get his shine. After all he's the father and I'm the Pops and if anybody doesn't like what we got going on fuck em. We ain't out here trying to make other people happy so I don't give a fuck what they say or think and I damn sure don't give a fuck how they feel. It is what it is as long as people aren't disrespectful everything will be fine. It's all our close family and friends anyway so it shouldn't be any bullshit"

"True"

"Are you sure that's everything"

"That's it" she answered.

"Good don't let that shit happen again. The next time you're in ya feelings let it be known right then and there and NEVER try to push me into someone else's arms. I ain't feeling that shit" he said and mugged her.

"I'm sorry"

"Uh huh now come on I know they're looking for us" Dave said and stood up from his seat and helped April up from the couch.

"Hopefully the food is ready. I still can't believe mama denied me and the baby food" April pouted thinking about it all over again.

Dave laughed. "The food wasn't ready ma and she still fed y'all"

"Uh huh" she said as they made their way out the studio.

As soon as they came out of the studio Dave swiftly and gently pushed her up against the wall and looked down at her. April could see nothing but love in his eyes as he looked at her and smiled.

"I love you ma" he said and gently cupped her jaw.

"I love you too Papi"

"What's going on over here" Ian asked as he snuck up on them looking like he was on his way to the backyard.

April and Dave looked over at him with April looking like she had gotten caught doing something she wasn't supposed to.

"Just telling ya daughter that I love her" Dave answered honestly.

"Say less I just hope ya actually telling her and not showing her while ya in a house full of people you know like me" Ian said making April cough.

"Daddy" April said and clutched her chest.

Ian raised his hands. "What I'm just making sure y'all keeping shit PG13 my granddaughters are running around. They don't need to see all this" he motioned at them.

"Daddy" she looked at him while Dave laughed. His ass hadn't even attempted to move.

"I'm just saying you can at least wait till we leave. I don't want to see, hear, or think bout you doing none of that"

Obviously he was still stuck on that bumping coochie shit so he wanted to see nothing looking remotely close to anything sexual going on with her which is understandable. "You know what I'm outta here" April smooth tried to dip but forgot her big ass stomach was in the way. "Lawd" she leaned her head against the wall and closed her eyes.

Ian and Dave laughed at her. "Love ya Peanut" Ian said. "Aye son we in the back once ya finish telling my child how much you love her so feel free to join us" Ian said laughing as he walked away.

"Go head and join them I'm a go find mommy"

"Bet, I'll see you in a few beautiful" Dave said then bent down and gave her a kiss before he walked off to join everyone in the background while she headed to the kitchen.

"Hey my babies" April's mother said as she walked into the kitchen. Ananda and Mama Faye were both seated at the table looking like they were in the middle of gossiping as usual as Mama Joyce strolled into the kitchen right on time.

"Just the women I was looking for. Can we talk" April asked as she took a seat at the table next to her mom joining them.

"Always" both women answered and laughed.

"Don't start without me" Mama Joyce said and took a seat beside Mama Faye.

"What's wrong" her mother questioned as she really took the time to look at her. April knew that she knew something was wrong and she like Dave was waiting for her to come and talk to her.

April placed her elbows on the table and her head in her hands. "Pregnancy brain sucks. I've been stuck in my head for a few months. How did y'all deal with being pregnant" April asked.

"It does suck but pregnancy is different for every woman. When I was pregnant with you me and ya father were already struggling and all I could think bout is how I didn't want to be struggling once you were born. I was scared because I knew things were going to get harder on us but you were made out of love so I knew we had to do what we had to do to make sure you didn't want or need for anything. We were both working and it was just barely enough to get by so he did what he had to do and started messing around in the streets" she said and paused.

"You know we still struggled for a while but you were always taken care of even when me and daddy had to go without. I was scared that something would happen to daddy while I was pregnant and thinking bout how we were going to make sure you were good so I was constantly in my head thinking of things I didn't need to. I would sit around the apartment and think bout everything that could go wrong" Ananda said as she looked about remembering the days they had to struggle and now they didn't want or need for anything. They had everything they needed and wanted. April nodded as she remembered the struggle that they hid from her but she always knew what it was that's why she went so hard. She wanted to make sure they'd never have to struggle and go without ever again even if they did have their own.

"That's why when y'all were growing up we stressed to y'all the importance of not being into materialistic things. Those come and go but no one can ever take away ya education and ya grind. Be humble at all times. Y'all started from the bottom now look at y'all. You own ya own company and ya sister is a teacher so yeah I was scared out my mind and my mind always had me thinking terrible things while I was pregnant with y'all but it was worth it because y'all turned out to be better than I could ever imagine and I'm proud of y'all. So don't let ya mind keep you in a dark place. You know what it is"

"We did turn out pretty good" April said and smiled.

"Damn right" Ananda said smiling proudly at her.

"How bout you Mama Faye" April asked.

"Ya mother is right pregnancy is different for every woman. When I got pregnant with Dave I wasn't ready to have a baby but we were having one and I had no choice but to get ready. One day ya all fit and slim and the next ya all round and swollen and everyone's telling you ya glowing but you don't feel pretty you don't feel attractive but you roll with the punches because you're baking a lil human being so that overrides everything" Faye said and to April it felt like she was preaching to the choir because she damn sure knew that feeling all too well.

"For me my head was stuck on how I'm bout to give birth to a lil black boy and how he will forever be a target whether he's in the wrong or the right. We lived in the projects, didn't have much, and I never wanted my child to witness or be a part of any shit that was going on outside but shit happens and all you can do is pray to god to watch over them. So although I was in my head while I was pregnant with Dave and he did get into shit he still got up out of it and turned out to be one hell of a man along with his brother. Sometimes you have to go with ya heart because the brain is pretty tricky"

"Exactly" Ananda agreed with her.

"What bout you Mama Joyce" April asked and focused on her.

Mama Joyce looked at her and laughed but every woman at the table knew it wasn't anything funny. "Well when it comes to me and men I have bad luck so although my heart was all in it my brain was always in a place it didn't need to be. I know when I was pregnant with Chris I was so in love with his father so I prayed that we stayed in a happy place. All I could think bout is would he still find me attractive, will he change up on me, will he want someone else, will this last, and will it bring us a lil closer because we were definitely going through some ups and downs" Joyce said as she recalled what she had been through.

"We made it work and he stuck by my side throughout the whole process but during pregnancy I couldn't escape my head. The worst thing I could do was keep it to myself instead of speaking up and letting it fester because all it did was put us in a place where neither one of us wanted to be. Pregnancy should be a happy and peaceful moment but it doesn't work like that for everybody" Joyce said and gave them a small smile while both Ananda and Faye placed their hands on hers silently comforting her.

"See everyone goes through something different and some are the same. So what's on ya mind" her mother asked.

April sighed and explained to them everything she had told Dave. Mama Faye looked at her and smiled.

"I can see why you're thinking the way you are but we both know my son and the type of man he is. Junior ain't going anywhere. He's not the type to do something he doesn't want to do. If he's in he's in so get that all out ya mind" she said.

"This is true but every time I try to get out that place it seems like it just wants me to stay there"

"Then you think bout all the good things going on in ya life Thing 1 and get out of there. You have a good man by ya side and a whole family that supports you. If something's wrong one of us if not all of us will be there for you" her mother said and pulled her in her arms.

"Amen because everything could be the complete opposite of what it is" Joyce said and nodded her head in agreement.

"You got my baby's nose wide open. That man is smitten and he's in love like I've never seen before. He's pretty tough and he has his moments but he'll be ok. You said this was unconventional and it is to some people but do you know ya not the first and you won't be the last woman to go through this. The only difference between you and most of these other women is that ya child's father didn't walk away. He decided to stay whether y'all were together or not. He's still here to be in his child's life so he and Dave will have to find a common ground and work together which I think they do already" Faye said which was true.

There were plenty of women whose boyfriends or husbands walked out on them during their pregnancies or possibly died and somehow during their pregnancy someone new came along and entered their lives. That new man that came along changed their lives around for the better. That man became the man the women needed and a father to her child and treated them as such. So yes it was unconventional but it wasn't anything new. Then again nothing is new under the sun.

"That's true" Ananda said.

"You know how I was in the beginning. I questioned my role in the baby's life and you told me what it was. Guess what I did? I called up my good sis, she called up Joyce, and we all talked bout what was going on. A week later we all met up for lunch and things went smooth. Senior and I started coming around, we saw ya family dynamics and how everyone got along, and it works. We are a family and we work better as a unit. So stop trying to give me a different daughter in law. The position has already been filled and there isn't any replacement" Faye said and cocked her brow.

"Say that shit sis. I'm happy with my son in law and my grandbaby" Ananda said. Between Ananda and Faye Dave and April were on their way to the aisle any minute now. "Throughout all the bad some good things happened. You fell in love again, you and Chris patched things up, I got not one but two grandbabies, and a new one on the way. Not to mention you brought me, Faye, and Joyce back together, and now I have my own crew" she said all hype.

"Yesssssss" Joyce and Faye said in unison acting like April, Alaina, and Ebony.

"Lawd" April laughed and shook her head.

"I'm not gonna block ya blessings. I know you and my son didn't work out but you will forever be my daughter. You treat Royalty as if she's yours and even throughout all of Chris's shit you came back around and got him back on track. Not only that I have a new grandbaby on the way and I don't have to deal with any of the shit I have to with Nia. I know my grandchildren are good when they're with you. So me and Faye just gonna have to share and that's that" she said as a matter of fact. April knew what was up she knew that no matter what Mama Joyce was always going to claim her.

"Okay" Faye said as they slapped five. April just shook her head. Those three together were like the older version of her, Alaina, and Ebony.

"Speaking of grandbabies care to give me a hint on what I'm baking" April asked her mother wiggling her eyebrows.

"No can do ya father is acting ass. He's holding that shit like he's taking it to his grave" Ananda said and rolled her eyes mad as hell making them laugh. April knew why her father was guarding the gender so heavily though. If he'd a told her mother she was going to end up telling Faye and Joyce because she would be to hype to keep it to herself.

April sat there and talked with them a little while longer until it was time for everyone to come inside and eat. It was yet another successful family dinner with the Triple B family. The Triple B's were going to be a triple threat. Two baby Browns, One baby Brewster, and hopefully in the future April and Dave would be welcoming another baby Brewster.

_________________________________________
-Happy reading I hope you guys enjoy 😊
-April got some issues she needs to work out and Dave ain't here for the fucks 😔
-I know some were worried how Dave would act during this time but he's good and he's taking a positive approach it's April who has the issues 😬
-Do you think these insecurities will hurt their relationship along the way 🤔
-Sorry I know we all wanted April to have a happy pregnancy and she is for the most part but I wanted to make it a lil realistic because everyone's pregnancy is not filled with rainbows and sunshine 🤷🏾‍♀️
-It's about to be a problem Ananda, Faye, & Joyce done joined forces it's bout to be lit 😝
-Any, who sharing is caring so tell a friend to tell a friend. Don't forget to comment, vote, & add to your library 🥰
-If you are reading and not commenting no problem just make sure you color the ⭐️ please and thank you 🥰