Chapter 66: What Have I Done
Hazel

"I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity"
[Chris Rock]

"I fucked up I fucked up" Hazel cried into her hands as she rocked back and forth in despair and this time she had no one to blame but herself. She had willingly put herself in this situation and it backfired right in her face. It turned out nothing like she had planned. April didn't run to her to cry on her shoulder. April didn't call her to vent. If anything April left her in the dark. April didn't need her like she thought she would. April required no rescuing from her and no helping hand. Hazel was so busy being jealous, in her feelings, being bitter, and keeping shit bottled in that it just cost her the most precious and important thing in her life...her family. Hazel had just lost it all. They had literally taken her from off the streets and raised her and treated her as is she belonged with them from the start. She was their child and they were her sisters. Everyone in the hood and beyond recognized Hazel as April and Alaina's sister and Ian and Ananda's daughter. Ian and Ananda wouldn't have it any other way.

Hazel could remember the nights where her biological parents left her home alone in their dank drab two bedroom apartment where her only friends were the mice that traveled back and forth in and out of their apartment as if they owned it. She never understood why they even stopped by it wasn't like it was food in the house. There wasn't even anything to snack on. She could remember the roaches that lined the kitchen sink as if it was a pool party but as soon as the lights were turned on and that's if the lights were on they scattered as if the cops had been called to cut their party short.

She could remember the restless nights she spent wondering when her parents would finally walk through the front door and just for the moment she wouldn't be so lonely even if they didn't pay her any attention. Hazel could remember that the best place in their apartment was inside of her head because she could makeup millions of stories of a place where she could call home, family that loved her and friends that adored her. She could remember wearing the same beat up hand me down outfits for days at a time as if she was in a real life cartoon and it was her only outfit. She could remember each hole, each stain, each hanging piece of thread, and the smell, the stench of her body that penetrated through every piece of fiber that was still holding on. She tried her best to keep up with her hygiene but with the lack of supplies and guidance on how to clean herself properly she fell a little short in that department.

Hazel could remember the way her stomach ached, the sound of the rumble it made when it was empty, and the way it ate at her back trying to feed off the little bit of fat that she had left. She could remember asking and begging for food. Shit crying for food only to be handed scraps of food that her parents had ate off of and didn't want anymore. The shoes on her feet that barely had a sole, fit too small, and how her big toe hung out of the beat up and battered opening. She could remember how her peanut butter complexion looked dull, dingy, and damn right dirty or how her long natural kinky curly hair looked just the same as it fell at her cheeks because it wasn't taken care of but was longer than it appeared but no one would ever know. Drugs and the night life had always been more important to Hazel's parents than she was. She understood that from an early age.

Hazel could remember being picked on, laughed at, and bullied day in and day out. Kids mistreated her, teachers looked at her in pity, but there was that one person who treated her as a friend. Who might that be? April! April was the little girl who also didn't have much but her parents always made sure she looked decent. She was one of those kids who got along with everybody and it was because of her personality and the way she treated others. She could blend in, in any crowd. April never treated her different she was always kind to her.

She was her best friend and her protector. She was the littlest one in their grade and her bite had proved time and time again to be bigger than her bark. She defended her against the bullies, she literally fought for her, she shared her lunch with her, snuck her clothes even if they didn't always fit, and whenever Hazel needed someone to talk to she was there. She actually listened and she actually cared. Now she had completely lost it all and knew that no matter how much she apologized April would no longer be in her life and that shit hurt. Then Hazel remembered how every time Ananda and Ian came to pick April up after school she would literally beg and cry for them to take her until they eventually did and now she had lost them too.

"Hazel Marie" Ian said sternly as his voice bounced around the empty room making Hazel jump in her skin and look at him. She had thought she was the only person in the room. The man who sat before her didn't look like the loving father she had come to love and call her own. He looked as if he couldn't stand her and she understood why. The disappointment was written all over his face. He didn't need to say it she saw it clear as day. He had taken her in when he didn't have to and loved and cared for her more than her own father did. She knew he went to bat for his kids so for her to do what she did and was considered his child she knew she had fucked up. Family meant everything to the Blackmon family and once you turned on one you turned on them all. They all lived by a code family first above all.

"You don't have to stay here. I know I fucked up. I'm sorry I'll leave you all alone" Hazel spoke just above a whisper she had no more fight left in her and Ian was someone she didn't dare want to fight even if it wasn't physical.

"Get up and sit down. Talk to me like the woman I raised you to be" he spoke with his eyes trained on her. Hazel got up and sat next to him but she couldn't bring herself to look him in the eyes. She couldn't stand to see those eyes looking back at her.

"Was selling ya sister's secrets worth it" Ian asked as he folded his hands together and laid them on the table.

"No, no it wasn't" she answered honestly but it was already too late to apologize.

"The one person that had ya back since day one and this is what you do to her. I can remember my baby girl coming home every day with tears in her eyes literally begging me and her mother to take in her best friend. Mind you she was only ten and even she knew something wasn't right at ya household. That woman has a big heart. It's bigger than most. We took you in and no one ever came looking for you until we had money and guess what? They didn't even ask to take you back or how you were doing. They pretty much said fuck you and gave up their rights without even blinking. Do you even know how much they asked for? It was nowhere near the amount of money you gave Agnes to screw over my child" Ian spoke calmly but she knew this wasn't the time to say shit, ask questions, or push her luck. She didn't know any of this shit about her parents signing away their rights or even asking for money for them to keep her. They pretty much sold her and didn't give a damn and she didn't know how she felt about that. Then again if she never fucked up she would've never known that her parents had even done something that low.

"Every night my little girl laid in the bed with you while you cried yourself to sleep telling you everything was going to be alright because her, her mommy and her daddy wouldn't let anything happen to you. What did we do? We loved you and never let anything happen to you. She was sharing a small ass cramped bedroom with her lil sister sleeping in bump beds and here you came along and she never hesitated to have you sleep with her. She gave up the lil space that she had for you and she never complained even when I asked her was she ok with sharing" Ian said never once removing his eyes from her. "I treat you as if you're my blood. You're my fuckin child. I fuckin raised you. You weren't thinking bout nobody but yourself" he shook his head even she knew he was trying to keep it together. He was a hard man to crack and here she was pushing him to the edge.

"Daddy I'm sorry" Hazel said as she wiped her tear stained face but it was no use each and every word struck her chest as if she was getting stabbed by a knife over and over again. She felt every wound as it stabbed her in her heart.

"You can keep your sorry. Sorry isn't going to fix anything. You're not even sorry that you fucked her over you're only sorry you got caught. All I want to know is what triggered you to the point you had to contact someone you absolutely knew didn't like my child and plot against her like I wasn't going to find out. You thought ya plan was so good that you moved around carelessly and forgot what we were capable of. You thought that because it was you shit was going to be sweet and it would just cost you a lil slap on the wrist" he said through gritted teeth as he slammed his hand against the table making Hazel jump.

Flashback...

"Quick question though...are you really mad that Dave broke bro code and I took the chance on him instead of you. Cause bruh the way you bitching is like you was my nigga instead of my brother. I think you got ya signals crossed" April chuckled as Hazel looked at Trey confused. "I mean I don't forget shit. Yea I introduced you to my sis but I remember how you use to look at me before I introduced you two. Use to look at me like you wanted to what you say" she laughed and tapped her chin with her index finger as if she was thinking hard. "Oh yea Diveeeeee in" she sang. "But that's neither here or there. You need to handle ya feelings another way cause bruh you big mad for nothing"

Hazel had tuned out she could care less what else was said. The man she had been with for years whom she loved and cared for had liked her sister. The very same sister that introduced the two and never once had neither one of them had mentioned this beforehand. It made her wonder what else had the both of them been keeping from her. Slightly tipsy and now in her feelings she didn't know what to think so she sat back and played her role right up until the time April and Chris left to visit Mama J.

"I'm done with tonight" Hazel mumbled as she looked down at a once drunk Trey and rolled her eyes. "Get the fuck up and let's go" Hazel lowly snapped as she stood up and fixed her clothing and walked off heading upstairs to her bedroom to get her belongings. She was silently fuming as she came back downstairs with everything she had brought over the night before.

"Hey sis I'm a take Trey home" she said as she walked in the living room where Alaina and August had come back to. She was acting as if she needed to get Trey home but in reality she needed to get home before she snapped and the person she wanted to snap on wasn't even there so it was pointless to even stay there.

"Please do" Alaina said as she gave Hazel a hug and rolled her eyes at Trey who was getting himself together. Trey didn't even speak he just walked off and soon Hazel followed suit walking off behind him and out the door they went.

As soon as they hopped inside the car Hazel went off. She felt stupid embarrassed and wondered why Trey was really with her. What were his true intentions? Did he really love her or was it to get closer to April? But then again did he really need her to get close to April.

"My sister though Trey" Hazel yelled as she pulled off angry. The way she was going at him it was as if Trey and April had slept together but her brain couldn't process it.

"Can we talk bout this later. I just got finished getting chewed out" Trey said as he leaned his head against the window just done with the night himself.

"What the fuck ever" she said as they continued their journey home in silence. All the silence did was fuck with her head. Walking inside the house she tossed her keys in the dish by door still silently fuming and in her feelings. She stomped and mumbled all the way up to their bedroom.

"Look you know I don't do attitudes so calm the fuck down already" Trey said looking at her as he came out of his clothing.

"I don't give a fuck what you don't do. You were trying to get with my sister before me" she looked at him with her arms folded against her chest. Her attitude was on a hunnid.

"It's not that serious as you making it" Trey said as he cautiously walked up on her. She hated being mad at him but she just couldn't let this shit go. She couldn't wrap her mind around it.

"The hell if it ain't? What the fuck was she talking bout Tremaine" she asked. It was just like April to get everything. She always got everything.

"Look when I first met sis I did look at her but it wasn't that serious. She belonged to Chris and I wasn't on her like you think I was" Trey said as he wrapped his arms around her waist looking in her eyes making her insides melt but she wasn't ready to bow out just yet. She needed to get to the bottom of this.

"So why was you beasting so hard bout her fuckin around with Dave" she questioned with her brow raised.

"Because she knows that, that's Chris's homie" he replied. "Besides sis introduced me to you and all I'm worried bout is you. I love you Hazel Marie. Trust me it was never as serious as she's making it" he said looking into her eyes. She knew he was telling her the truth. He had never lied to her. "She was just mad and talking out the side of her neck and it was my fault. I overdid it. I said some things I shouldn't have"

"You sure it wasn't nothing" she questioned again trying to ease her wondering mind.

"Hazel I'm absolutely positive. It wasn't serious. I only got eyes for you. I'm here with you because I love you" he said.

"Ok" she rolled her eyes and sighed satisfied with what she had heard.

"Now gimmie a kiss and tell daddy you love him" Trey gave her that sexy smile showing off his dimples and pearly whites of his that she loved.

"I love you daddy" she smiled and kissed him.

"I love you too. I'm a go hit the shower. You want to join" he asked smirking.

"Nah I'll let you have this one" she replied and smiled back at him.

"Bet, the invitation is still open" he said as he walked away disappearing into their bedroom bathroom.

Hazel plopped down on their bed and ran her fingers through her hair still pissed as fuck that April would even mention some shit like that. Ok he might've went overboard with what he said but to blurt out that he was checking for her she could've kept that shit to her fuckin self. When it came to April Hazel was tired of feeling like she was second best and like she was never enough. April had everything else but she wasn't getting Trey. Trey belonged to her and only her. He was hers and she was his.

"It's war bitch. You won't get this one" Hazel mumbled to herself as she picked up her cell phone and went straight to her Instagram DM's. "What the fuck is that bitch's name" she mumbled again until she found exactly who she was looking for and smiled.

m_colon: Hey you don't know me but I know of you. I got a proposition for you. We have the same common enemy.

Thing3_hazelneverson: Who dis and who you talking bout?

m_colon: The best friend to the bitch dating ya baby father.

Thing3_hazelneverson: 😂 girl bye

m_colon: Look it's not a game. I know you ain't feeling her and I ain't either so how bout I make this worth ya while?

Thing3_hazelneverson: What do I get out of this?

m_colon: You do what I need you to do and I'll pay you and just so you know it's not a game send me ya cashapp info and I'll slide you some pocket change.

Thing3_hazelneverson: Yea right stop playing games. I don't know what shit ya on but count me out.

m_colon: Want a bet? Send me ya info.

Millie left her on read but a few minutes later Millie was hitting her up with the information she needed. Sending her a quick $200 Hazel sent her another message.

m_colon: You do what I need you to do and I can have ya bank account laced. What's good?

Thing3_hazelneverson: Count me in!

Little did Hazel know that, that was the end of something she never wanted or ever saw coming. Jealousy had got the best of her.

Present...

"So all it took was a measly ass $200 bucks to get Agnes to do ya dirty work. We already knew what was going on but it's good to know that she told the truth bout something even though it was pretty much beaten out of her. You know how my daughters and my niece are and I'm pretty sure you knew Millie couldn't defend herself. You got that girls ass whooped because you were so damn jealous and you weren't brave enough to do ya own dirty work...fuckin coward. You sent that girl right into the lioness den without a care in the world" Ian shook his head at her disappointed and pissed off.

Hazel sighed. "I lost it all haven't I" she asked but she really didn't need an answer because she already knew what it was. She felt it in her heart that loneliness she felt when she was just a little girl and this time April wasn't coming to her rescue. She knew she didn't deserve to be rescued this time around. She was on a boat sinking and no one was even going to throw her a raft let alone a life vest but hey she knew she brought this on herself and now she had to deal with the consequences.

"What you think? You just told a stranger that my child ya supposed to be sister couldn't have kids. You told her bout her relationship with Chris and you had to tell her bout her relationship with Dave or else she wouldn't had even known what April called him. Not to mention April just let everyone in on what was really going on between them and it wasn't a good situation but you knew that already because y'all all witnessed her unhappy. She didn't have to tell y'all she was unhappy for y'all to notice it. You probably basked all in it but its cool my baby girl is loved by many and hated by a few" he said sternly.

"Some advice before I leave since you forgot what we taught you. Never bite the hand that feeds you that's number one. Never take anyone or their help for granted either and ya best bet is to comply when it comes to the documents you've been served. You know like I know going against April won't be easy and it's pretty much pointless. You won't win. She's still giving you a chance to eat so you should take it. Next time you feel a way bout someone act like an adult and handle it the right way. I don't know if she will ever forgive you and want you in her life again but now it's time to live ya life on ya own without us backing you up no matter how bad it hurts"

"I pray you make it. I love you lil girl but I can't have someone on my team who goes against my family even if it is family. Wrong is wrong. I taught you that. I wish you nothing but the best" Ian said as he looked at her and stood up from his seat. "By the way never mention someone's child or lack thereof especially when you keep aborting ya own. Hopefully when you do decide to finally have children of ya own there won't be any complications. Luckily for you Agnes could care less bout being a mother to take offense when y'all both mentioned my child taking caring of other women's children. Ya lucky Nia hasn't said anything to her because this could've gotten bigger than just family" he said looking dead at her.

"You should see April with those two lil girls she loves them both as if they were her own and they love her just the same. Now she's bout to get a second chance at bringing another life in the world and you won't even be a part of that. People like you should be happy someone as nice as my child is around. The least you can do is thank her. She helped save ya life" and with that Ian walked to the door, looked back at Hazel, and finally walked out of the door and Hazel's life altogether. She had no one left and didn't know if Trey would even stick around or not. The look in his eyes looked like the end all be all but she was willing to do whatever she had to do to make it right because she had just lost her family she wasn't about to lose her man. So she picked up her phone and shot him a text.

Hubby👅🍆: Can we talk?

______________________________________
-Happy reading I hope you guys enjoy 😊
-Welp Ian has spoke and he said what he said 🤷🏾‍♀️
-Now y'all know what triggered Hazel to pop off the way she did 🤦🏾‍♀️
-Do you think Ian and Ananda are really done with her 🤔
-Do you think Trey will stick around 🤔
-Any, who y'all know the drill sharing is caring so tell a friend to tell a friend. Don't forget to comment, vote, & add to your libraries 🥰
-If you are reading and not commenting no problem just make sure you color the ⭐️ please and thank you 🥰

🛑Heyyyy new readers I see you boos 🥰 Thanks for taking the time out to read this emotional roller coaster 😂 I hope you all have been enjoying so far 🥰