All Shall Fade

Chapter 5

Mad World

Our party – now depleted in number – walked on through the night, and through into the next day. Everything hurt, my feet, my ribs, but mostly my arm. The dull throbbing was now peaking at an almost unbearable pain. Unbearable or not, I tried my best to ignore it. It was probably nothing compared to what Frodo was going through… I didn’t dare think of any alternative to his fate. I had to remain positive.

Every now and then, I’d pull up the sleeve of my hoodie to examine my arm. The lines had been creeping further across my skin. Last night they had been around halfway up the inside of my arm, but now they were closer to the inside of my elbow, and had been spreading onto the other side of my arm too. Whenever I touched it, a searing pain would fire up my arm, giving me a headache and making me dizzy, so I tried to avoid contact with the lines. I couldn’t figure out what had caused it, but it was scaring me a lot.

We walked on through the day, over different terrains like grasslands, but mostly through forests. I couldn’t recognise any of the landscape, and what confused me most was that the only mountains I could see were in the distance. If we were in the Mournes, we should be surrounded by them. Things just kept getting stranger and stranger… What made it worse was the fact that nobody spoke. We were all wrapped up in our own individual thoughts and worries. I attempted to bottle everything up, shut all my worry and confusion away in the back of my mind, and pretend that I was just on a walk, but I couldn’t. I had so many unanswered questions, and the pain in my arm made it impossible to ignore the fact that something very much out of the ordinary was going on here. I just wanted to go home. Was that too much to ask for?

Apparently it was.

The sun was beginning to get low in the sky as we entered another forest. I wondered if we would once again walk on into the night, but Strider stopped beside a small stream and turned back to us.

“We can rest here for the night; I’m just going to look around.” He stated, and I heard the Hobbits behind me sigh with relief. I’d taken to referring to them as ‘Hobbits’, it was an easier collective term to use instead of ‘short guys’. I sat down by the stream as another bout of dizziness hit me – once again caused by the mysterious, spidery vein-like markings on my arm.

“Are you alright Alice?” Pippin asked concernedly, and I nodded – even though the movement made my head spin.

“Y-yeah,” I stammered, “I think I just need a drink.” I gingerly got to my feet, testing my balance before standing up straight and walking over to the water’s edge. I crouched down and splashed my face with the cool water. Only then did I realise that my skin was ice cold and much paler than usual. Was I sick? I frowned as I stared at my rippling, distorted reflection in the flowing water. I wasn’t a pretty sight; my hair was a tangled mess of leaves, twigs and mud, my skin was grubby and as pale as death, and I had massive, bruise-like dark circles under my eyes. I rubbed at them, but it didn’t seem to make it any better. The sun was beginning to sink below the horizon of trees and stars were appearing overhead as I pulled back the sleeve of my hoodie and lightly traced my fingertips over the pulsing marks which had crept past my elbow and had almost reached my upper arm. I flexed my fingers, but they felt stiff and brittle, as if I would break them by moving. It was the same when I tried moving my arm from the elbow down. Brittle and painful. I sighed and timidly touched once of the thicker lines – wincing in pain as it throbbed in protest. To the touch it was a curious mixture of hot and cold sensations, but it was still sore. In a desperate, almost panicked attempt to cure myself, I began to wash my arm in the river, ignoring the pain as I rubbed at the lines, but they wouldn’t fade.

“What is wrong with your arm?” I looked up in alarm to see Strider standing over me.

“N-nothing.” I stammered, sitting up and pulling my sleeve down – wincing as the fabric brushed against my skin.

“Let me see.” He said softly, although to me is sounded more like a command as he crouched beside me and held out his hand. I silently outstretched my arm and he caught the back of my hand in his. He stared for a long moment at the vein-like black lines that twisted around my thin fingers, and had spread across my palm. With his other hand, he carefully pushed back my sleeve and frowned at the inky marks that extended further and further. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked quietly.

“I…”

“Why didn’t you?” He snapped and I looked at him in confusion, unable to figure out why he was angry. His hand tightened its grip on mine, making my arm throb painfully.

“T-that hurts…” I whispered, holding back tears of confusion that I refused to set free.

“Did you touch one of them?” He asked harshly, using my arm to pull me towards him and making it spasm in pain.

“I-I stabbed one.” I stammered, wincing in his vice-like grip.

“Why?” He growled as the pain in my arm reached a peak, making it feel like it was being stabbed with a thousand white-hot needles.

“Because I was trying to protect Frodo when you weren’t there!” I cried, trying to pull my arm back, but he jerked me towards him, causing a yelp of pain to escape my lips. “Let go of me!” I yelled, pulling away and tumbling backwards. I pulled myself up into a seated position and carefully examined my arm. Large, purplish bruises in the shapes of his long fingers were already blossoming on the pale skin beneath the marks as I gingerly held my arm and silently cursed myself as a single tear escaped my eye. I clamped my eyes closed, forbidding any other tears to fall as I held my arm against my chest. The searing pain wouldn’t fade as I bit down on my lower lip until I could taste my own blood. Why was this happening to me? If only I hadn’t run into that stupid forest in the first place…

I could hear Strider rising to his feet and walking towards me, but I didn’t open my eyes. He stopped beside me and lightly touched his hand to my shoulder, but I flinched away from him. “Just leave me alone.” I whispered, echoing the last words I had spoken to Toby before all this crap had happened. For some reason, it only made me want to cry more. Probably because I regretted saying those words in the first place. He hesitated, and then walked away, leaving me alone, just like I’d asked him to. I curled into a tight ball where I sat and buried my head in my knees. I could allow myself to cry now that no one was watching, but I no longer felt the need to. My mind was in some kind of emotional turmoil, I was confused, and angry, upset, worried, hurt… Lots of things.

I don’t know how long I sat like that for, out of sight of everyone else, but it was long enough for me to be aware of the fact that I was hungry. I’d probably missed whatever food the Hobbits had been making, but I stood – carefully cradling my arm against my chest – and looked up at the sky. It was pretty dark now, so I walked back to where we had originally stopped and saw the three Hobbits lying asleep beside each other, all wrapped up in their own blankets and cloaks. I shivered and cast a glance around, spotting Strider sitting on a nearby boulder staring out at the night. I walked over to the boulder and sat at its base on the opposite side to Strider, curling into a ball again and laying my head on my knees. I closed my eyes, but I couldn’t sleep, so instead I just stared up at the sky. The moon was almost full tonight, and it cast an eerie glow across our camp. I didn’t take my eyes off it until I felt a light tap on my shoulder. I jumped a little before realising that it was only Strider. He had his hand outstretched and I realised that he was holding an apple.

“You should eat something.” He stated quietly. I looked at him for a moment, before timidly taking the apple and holding it in my hands. I felt odd and unbalanced, as one hand was stiff and aching, whereas the other was the same as ever. I fixed my gaze on the shiny red surface of the fruit as he sat down beside me, but keeping a careful distance between our bodies. I’d realised that the apple was some form of peace offering, but I was too proud to speak first, so I just continued to stare at nothingness. I blinked hard as I realised that my vision was blurring and slipping in and out of focus. “May I see your arm?” He asked, breaking the silence. I looked up at him, meeting his steely grey eyes as he stared intently at me.

“Why?” I frowned, turning to face him.

“Because if I don’t, you will die.” He explained with a startling calmness as I jolted in shock.

“W-what?”

“I said you will-”

“I heard what you said, but…” I trailed of uncertainly. Was I going to die?

“I will explain if you let me look at your arm.” He held out his hand expectantly and I placed the back of my hand in his, just like I had done earlier. He carefully pushed my sleeve up, casting me an apologetic glance as I flinched. I watched as his fingers lightly touched one of the thickest, darkest lines that ran up the middle of my arm and I winced in pain. “I apologise for hurting you earlier,” He murmured, “I was angry, and I wasn’t thinking.”

“S’alright.” I mumbled as he delicately traced down the line, “What’s wrong with me?” I asked. I had almost been too afraid to enquire, but I felt like I needed to know.

“The Black Breath.” He whispered, as if the words left a bad taste in his mouth, “You were affected by it on Weathertop. Could you feel it then?”

“It was dark.” I nodded in reply, “But why is my arm like this?”

“When you stabbed the Wraith, you made a direct contact with the Shadow.” He spoke as he pulled several of the small-leaved plants out of his pocket, “It begins at the point with the most contact, and will spread to your mind, and then you will enter a Wraith-like state.” My eyes widened in alarm as I looked down at my arm. He seemed to sense my fear, and I could feel him looking at me. “Do not be afraid, I will not let that happen.” I glanced up and met his gaze as he crushed some of the leaves in his hand and handed them to me. “Breathe in the scent; it will help clear your mind.” He instructed me as I held the leaves close to my face and breathed deeply. It smelt sweet and fresh, and everything suddenly seemed lighter. I blinked a little, suddenly finding my vision clear. As I focused on breathing, I could feel him gently rubbing a pulp he had made from the leaves onto my skin. It hurt, but it was number than before. I looked down to see that slowly, the blackness of the lines was fading, and they were now more of a sickly grey. He carefully finished by running his hand over my ticklish palm and I couldn’t stop my lips twitching into a small smile.

“Thank you.” I whispered, glancing up and smiling at him.

“It was the least I could do.” He replied, “It’s not fully healed, but it will delay the spreading until we get to Rivendell.” I nodded, glad that I wasn’t about to drop dead or go all Wraith-y just yet. “You should get some rest.”

“What about the Ringwraiths? Are they still out there?” I asked.

“Possibly, but I will be keeping watch, you’re quite safe.” He assured me and I nodded, lying back against the rock as he stood. I pulled the arms of my hoodie down past my hands and curled up so I wouldn’t get cold. Suddenly, Strider unfastened his slightly muddy cloak and handed it to me. “Goodnight Alice.” He murmured, climbing back up onto the rock as I smiled to myself. That was the first time he’d said my name. Normally he’d just ignored me.

“Goodnight Strider.” I whispered, pulling his cloak around me and slowly drifting off to sleep.