All Shall Fade

Chapter 47

Whispers of the Heart

‘How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand… There is no going back.’

*

“Alice…”

I squeezed my eyes shut in an attempt to block out the soft voice calling my name. I didn’t want to speak to anyone right now.

“Alice…”

“Go away.” I whispered, feeling a tear slide down my cheek as someone lightly touched my shoulder.

“We both know you do not want that.”

I tensed as I felt the person sit down beside me on the bed I was lying on, and I looked up curiously, sighing as I recognised the familiar form of Arwen, perched on the side of my bed in this make-believe version of Rivendell she had created.

“Long time no see.” I muttered, sitting up as she smiled gently.

“I understand you have a choice to make.”

“Yeah… And I don’t particularly want to make it.” I mumbled, “I was happy enough to think I would be living out the rest of my life in Middle Earth, I didn’t think I had a choice in the matter but now that I do… I don’t know what I want.”

“Do you wish to return to your world?” She asked, and I bit my lip.

“I’d like to… So I could see everyone. My friends and family… But the fact that I could never return here if I did go changes things. I miss my old life but what if I missed this one even more? What if I couldn’t go back to the way I was because of the things I’ve done here? I’m a killer here! That doesn’t exactly go down well in the 21st Century.” I ran one hand through my hair as I further debated my choice. “I just don’t know what I’m going to do.”

“You will make the right choice. I know you will.” Arwen said, smiling at me as I wiped a tear from my eye.

“But how do I know which one is the right one?”

“You will know when you have made your decision.”

“Well that’s useful…” I grumbled sceptically as she stood. “Where are you going?”

“I cannot stay Alice.” She murmured apologetically. “I’m afraid this is the last time we will see each other.”

“What?” I cried, “Why?”

“After you have made your choice you will no longer need me to guide you.”

“B-but if I chose to leave, wouldn’t I see you in the Undying Lands?”

Arwen only smiled as she began to walk away from me into a glowing white light behind her. “Arwen wait! Don’t go!”

“I have to.” She murmured, pausing as I climbed out of the bed and ran to her. “I will miss you, Alice.”

“I’ll miss you too.” I whimpered pitifully as I hugged her tightly. She gently pulled away and smiled at me, holding my shoulders comfortingly.

“Goodbye Alice.”

“Goodbye.” I whispered softly, closing my eyes as the room faded away, and Arwen’s echoing voice drifted away from me as I descended into darkness.

I blinked awake uneasily, feeling the pillow beneath my head and realising that it was damp with tears that I must have shed during the night. I still felt exhausted, and wondered what could have woken me when I still needed sleep. My question was answered as the curtains at my window were roughly jerked open.

“Come on Alice! Time to wake up!” A cheery voice jarred my sleep-dulled ears and I cringed as I rolled over, trying to block it out. “It’s a big day today and you have to look nice!” I fired an angry glare at Eowdrin as her face entered my line of vision. “Hurry up – I’m sure Aragorn wants you to be the first person he sees as king so you’ll need to be in the front row!”

“I’m not going.” I mumbled.

“What?”

“I said I’m not going.” My aggravated growl seemed to worry her as I pulled the bed sheets tighter around my body.

“But Aragorn-”

“He doesn’t want me there.” I cut her off. “I’m sure of it before you say anything.” I rubbed my eyes, clearing them of the remainders of sleep as her confused expression swam before my eyes. “Look, we had a bit of a disagreement last night and I’m pretty sure he won’t want to see me right now, so it’s probably better if I’m not there. You go on ahead. Enjoy yourself.”

She seemed somewhat crestfallen as she placed what looked like a box on the table beside my bed. I didn’t know why. Her life was perfectly fine and dandy. Her world was safe, she was in love, and she didn’t need to make any obscurely difficult choices. No… It wasn’t right to be bitter like this. I needed to concentrate on making my decision.

“I’ll leave this here.” She said quietly, indicating towards the box. “In case you change your mind.” And with that I heard her walk across the room and close the door, leaving me alone with my thoughts once again. With a sigh I tightly shut my eyes, wondering how long it would be before Elrond came knocking at my door, and what he would say when I revealed that I didn’t have an answer for him.

With a frustrated groan I rolled face-down onto the pillow and picked up where I had left my train of thought off last night. I must have lain there for some time – as the pale light of the rising sun which had illuminated my room when I woke up had escalated to the heat normally experienced as the day crawled towards noon. I could also tell time was passing, as I could hear crowds of people passing my room. I figured they must all be making their way up to the citadel for the coronation. I wondered what it would be like to get out of bed and go watch… Only for a minute before I made my decision. I mean… If I chose to leave I might never see him again…

“Oh God…” I groaned, smashing my face down into the pillow repeatedly. “Oh. My. God… I can’t do this.” I felt the tears coming again but I made an effort to force them back as I curled up on my side, whimpering pitifully as I tried to drag a clear answer out of the murky depths of my befuddled brain.

Suddenly, an unnaturally loud noise make me jump, and I sat up, looking around for the source of it, and realising it had just been somebody knocking on my door. “No…” I moaned, swinging my legs out of bed and running my hands through my hair. I needed some more time. I needed to stall him. “Just a minute!” I yelled, “I’m, uh… Changing? Yes! I’m changing! Give me a second!” I dashed around, quickly pulling on a pair of leggings under the white nightgown I was still wearing and grabbing a long, navy shirt from where it was sitting folded on top of one of the wooden chests that lined the walls. “Yeah… Uh…” I mumbled as I swiftly changed into it and tossed the nightgown into a corner. “Come in.”

The door swung open and my already wildly beating heart increased its speed tenfold as Elrond entered my room. I couldn’t force out any words of greeting as my tongue seemed to have mysteriously become stuck to the roof of my mouth. “It is time, Alice.” He said softly as the tears that I’d worked so hard to hold back resurfaced and I had to cover my mouth with my hand to muffle my sob as I sat back down on the bed – my legs unable to support me. “I do not mean to upset you.” He said as I cried into my hands, “But it is time to make your choice.”

“No!” I gasped, “Why do I have to do this? Why are you making me choose?” My voice broke towards the end of my statement and it only seemed to make me cry harder. “I can’t… I just can’t.”

I felt the bed dip slightly as he sat down beside me and lightly touched my shoulder. “I know this is hard for you-”

“Damn right it is!” I choked, rubbing fiercely at my eyes with my sleeve. “Y-you have no idea! I want to go back, I do, but what if things have changed? I know I’ve changed, what if my life there is ruined and I would be better staying here?” I hiccupped as my stream of tears seemed to ebb a little, leaving me to compulsively continue dabbing at my eyes with my sleeve. “I-if I left then I’d be leaving all my friends behind and… And Aragorn.” My throat seemed to close over as I sniffled, wondering if he’d have noticed that I wasn’t at the ceremony yet. “If I left he’d probably hate me… He probably already does…” I fidgeted with the bed sheets as I felt Elrond’s hand tighten its grip on my shoulder in a comforting way.

“He could never hate you, Alice. He loves you.” He said softly.

“And I love him.” I whispered, blinking slowly. “Oh my God… I love him. I love him!” I stood and began pacing with agitation, “How could I be so stupid? I can’t live without him! I can’t leave him… I love him.”

“Has your choice been made?” I turned to look at Elrond’s knowing smile and answered it with a beaming once of my own and a soundless nod. “Then you had best hurry, the ceremony has already started.”

“Oh!” I gasped, turning and grabbing my boots – already halfway out the door by the time I had finished tugging them on. “Thank you!” I called over my shoulder as I dashed out of the room and onto the empty street outside. I glanced around, seeing no one around as I began running up in the direction of the citadel. Despite the fact that my bedroom was in the upper level, I still had quite a distance to run, and so little time to do it in.

I lengthened my strides in an attempt to cover more ground – cursing my short legs as the burning sun already began to draw beads of sweat to the surface of my skin. The sky was a brilliantly clear blue above me, illuminating the porcelain streets that I wound my way through, trying to find the fastest route to the summit of the city. The deafening pumping of my heartbeat nearly blocked out all sounds, but I was beginning to hear the unmistakeable din of a cheering crowd somewhere above me.

“Come on, just a bit further…” I reassured myself breathlessly as I forced my legs to carry me faster. As I turned a corner I skidded to a halt as something white flew in front of my face and I dodged it wildly, glancing around in confusion as the mystery object seemed to vanish just out of the corner of my vision – and then I realised that it was a delicate flower petal, caught in the tendrils of my outrageous hair. I plucked it out and quickly resumed my running, knowing that I was close now.

Suddenly I found my path blocked by a crowd of people that seemed to have spilled out onto the street, all waving and craning their necks in an attempt to see over the thick horde of people that had formed a barrier against me. I held back a scream of frustration as I dove towards them, pushing them aside and ignoring their loud cries of protest which were quickly lost in the joyful cheers of their oblivious companions. Using any methods necessary, I cut a path through them, knowing the citadel was only metres away… I just had to reach it.

Shrugging off a yell of ‘Watch it!’ as I elbowed a stranger out of the way, jumping up and down as I caught a glimpse of banners caught in the breeze and the shining helmets of soldiers up ahead. I was so close…

The crowd grew more compact as I fought my way onwards, and I notice the class of the people climb as I moved forward, from common city dwellers to courtiers. I briefly wondered what on earth I must look like, before battling my way past a young couple and ducking under the arm of what appeared to be a war veteran. I yelped in alarm as someone shoved me hard in the back and I fell, my boots catching on the cobbled ground as I crashed down onto the stones, hissing in pain as I lost a layer of skin on my hands and felt one of the knees of my leggings tear. “Bloody hell…” I grimaced, scrambling to my feet again, despite the protests of my exhausted body. I began shoving my way forwards again, forsaking any courteous mannerisms I may have previously employed as I reached a line of uniformed soldiers.

“Aragorn!” I yelled, trying to see past their tight ranks – there were at least another two rows in front of this one. “Aragorn!” I growled with frustration as my voice was lost amongst the hundreds of others screaming his name. Curling my hands into fists, I prepared myself to fight my way through the soldiers. It wouldn’t be pretty, but I needed to. With a swift, well placed elbow to the chest of one I got past the first row and attempted to barrel my way through the second before I was grabbed from behind. “Let me go!” I yelled, struggling with a new found ferocity, breaking away from them and dashing forwards through the small gap that had appeared as the soldiers in front turned to see what was going on – and then I stumbled as there was no longer a mass of bodies holding me up. The crowed behind me had slipped into a hushed silence as I realised I was through. I whipped around in confusion, not seeing a single familiar face in front of me. They were going to drag me away in a second, kicking and screaming like some madwoman. I had to find him before-

“Alice?”

I turned slowly towards the voice coming from behind me, my breath catching in my throat as I saw him standing there only a few feet away in his magnificent ceremonial armour, his hair and rugged features tamed beneath the gleaming crown that sat upon his head.

“I’m staying.” I gasped breathlessly, gazing into Aragorn’s unreadable eyes which didn’t betray any emotion at my words, so I couldn’t tell if he was still angry. “If you’ll have me, that is.” I added, nervously swallowing past the lump forming in my throat as I felt hundreds of eyes on me as the crowd looked on, but my own eyes were focused solely on the piercing grey pair that stared back into mine, seeming to gaze straight into the depths of my soul as he moved towards me. I couldn’t anticipate what he would do when he reached me, as his expression hadn’t wavered from the one of shock that had crossed it when I had burst through the crowd.

I blinked, breaking our eye contact for only a moment, but by the time I opened them again his lips were on mine, his arms wrapping around my body and holding me tightly to his chest as he practically lifted me off my feet as I gasped in shock and he pulled me deeper into the toe-curling kiss. I felt my eyes drift shut and my arms automatically reach to curl around his neck, like a flower reaching for the sun as I drank in the wordless passion that flowed between us. We were going to be alright.

I smiled against his lips as he broke away, and I caressed his face in my hands, unable to believe that he was welcoming me back with open arms after I had so very nearly broken his heart. I was too much of an idiot to deserve him.

“I will always want you by my side.” he murmured, just loud enough for me to hear over the sounds of the crowd, I only realised now that they were cheering. “Until the end of my days, if you will be mine.”

“I think I was yours from the day you jabbed that bloody sword at my neck.” I laughed softly, seeing my tears of joy reflected in his eyes as he also laughed, taking my hands in his.

“Will you walk with me?”

I nodded wordlessly, suddenly feeling nervous as I realised I was about to be lead past the crowds I had just so rudely shoved my way through. I slipped my arm through Aragorn’s as he offered it to me and kissed the top of my head. My beaming grin descended to a more demure shy smile as he began to lead me through the crowd. I scanned their faces as they bowed respectfully to Aragorn as we passed by, and I recognised a few, but it seemed that Aragorn had passed most of our friends before I showed up – but we’d have time to see them later, we had all the time in the world now.

As we passed a large group of people, Aragorn suddenly stopped, and I turned towards where his gaze was directed, my smile widening as I saw the four Hobbits, all neatly dressed, and standing before us. They nervously stared up at Aragorn and bowed shyly, as a look of concern crossed his face.

“My friends,” He said, waving his hand at them and smiling as they looked up, “You bow to no one.” And with that he lowered himself onto one knee before the Hobbits, and I followed him along with the rest of the city, my heart swelling with pride at the humbling sight of the four standing above everyone else, looking so unbelievably overwhelmed at the attention that they more-than deserved. I smiled as I looked down at the ground, realising how much had changed since this quest began, and at the same time I realised as I glanced up at the four small companions how much had remained the same.

*

As the afternoon drew to a close, I slipped away from the celebrations as Aragorn was ushered inside the hall to follow the necessary steps required for him to fully claim the throne. Quickly I made my way back to my room and opened the box Eowdrin had left by my bed, revealing the dress I had worn back in Edoras at the end-of-battle celebrations, when I had first began to properly explore my feelings for Aragorn. It was fitting that it should return for this event. After running a comb through my hair and taming it in a loose plait I dressed with some difficulty, finding the lacing of the corset trickier than I had expected, but I eventually found myself striding back into the hall with a much lighter step than this morning. Stepping through the open door I found a banquet already in full swing, with the upper classes of Gondor milling around the marble-decorated hall. I skirted along the edges, not wanting to be caught up in any conversations with people I didn’t know just because they happened to recognise me as the feral girl who’d torn her way through the crowd in order to lock lips with their new king. Suddenly I felt someone catch my arm and I turned to see Legolas grinning at me, his other arm linked with Eowdrin’s.

“He’s at the front of the hall.” The elf murmured as I laughed, winking at Eowdrin before turning and dodging through the crowds once again. It didn’t take me long to find him, I just had to search for the largest huddle of people, most of whom were bowing and curtseying obscenely. I wove my way through them, smiling as I caught a glimpse of the face I had been searching for. He had removed his armour and was now dressed in an elaborate tabard bearing the symbol of the White Tree.

“My Lord.” I said softly as I stood close to his ear, curtseying with an unnecessary flamboyance as he turned to me. He took my hand and kissed the back of it lightly, causing me to giggle as he pulled me towards him and slipped his arm around my waist.

We stayed like that for the entire evening, enduring countless conversations ranging from endearing to woefully dull, until I couldn’t bear it any more. “Meet me outside.” I whispered in Aragorn’s ear as I excused myself from the conversation under the pretence of going to get something to drink. I quickly slipped out of the hall and out into the deserted courtyard. The sun had almost fully set in the distance, and the majority of the light illuminating the scene came from the streets below. As I walked to the wall that edged the parapet I saw that a city-wide street party seemed to be taking place in the lower levels, with cheerful traditional music floating up through the air to meet my ears. It was a few minutes before I felt an arm slip around my waist and a pair of soft lips on my cheek, and I smiled, looking up at the smile that never failed to send my heart racing. “So you escaped the conversations?” I murmured jokingly as Aragorn’s other arm encircled my torso, holding me against him as I rested my hands on his muscular arms.

“I can foresee us having to endure a few more in our future I’m afraid.” He said, and I let my face fall.

“I wonder if it’s not too late to leave…” I muttered, pretending to be thoughtful as I made to run away from him, but he just laughed and pulled me closer as I span around in his arms, laughing as I did so. I bit my lip as he buried his face in my hair and sighed softly, creating a moment of peaceful calm as a new song was struck up on the streets below. “It looks fun down there.” I smiled as he loosened his hold on me and turned me to face him.

“Would you care to dance then?”

“I…” I started to refuse, and then looked up at his playful smile, realising that he was probably no better a dancer than I was. “Sure.” I took his outstretched hand and placed my other on his shoulder as he held me close. We stumbled around for a moment, laughing as I continually stepped on his toes before he spun me around. I bumped back into his chest, my laughter quieting as he brushed a loose stand of my hair behind my ear, causing my heart to flutter in my chest as his hand moved downwards over my skin to rest on my neck. He didn’t say anything as he leaned forwards, brushing his lips carefully over mine as I sighed with longing, before he pulled me closer, his lips moving over mine with a gentle force, making me feel like my legs had tuned to water as I melted against him.

Any doubts that may have remained in my mind about my decision had long been washed away the second he had kissed me this afternoon. This kiss just sealed the deal, ensuring that I would never be able to live without Aragorn by my side, telling me that no matter what happened in our future, we would always have each other.

Our paths had crossed so abruptly that day back in the forest, and had since then intertwined with each other, and now joined, leaving the mystery of what was to come stretching ahead of us, and that thought made me smile against the lips passionately pressed against my own.

I knew that I had made the right choice.

‘And thus it was the Fourth Age of Middle Earth began, and the Fellowship of the Ring, though eternally bound by friendship and love, was ended.’

The End