All Shall Fade

Chapter 46

Wherever You Will Go

I screamed, reaching out and catching the ledge that stood in front of me with my fingertips. The ground had stopped shaking. If only I’d been able to take another step…

I gasped with pain as my fingertips dug into the jagged rock, sending blood trickling over my hands. My flailing legs couldn’t find any rock beneath me to grip on to, and my arms were weakening. I yelped in fear as my injured arm suddenly gave way, leaving me clinging to the rock with only one hand. Tears began forming in my eyes as I heard a loud explosion somewhere behind me and the ground shook again, almost causing me to loose grip. I couldn’t hold on anymore, it hurt too much. I’d have to let go. My heart was already beating a mile-a-minute, and it seemed to increase in speed as this thought crossed my mind.

“Oh God…” I breathed, squeezing my eyes shut and waiting for the moment when my other arm would give out. The rock beneath my fingertips began to crumble and I felt a tear slide down my cheek.

It wasn’t supposed to end this way.

I couldn’t help but scream as the rock gave way and I began to drop – and then jerked to a halt, my arm wrenching painfully as I felt hands close around my wrist, stopping me from falling.

“Alice!” My eyes flew open in shock as I heard the voice above me, strained with the effort of supporting my weight.

“Aragorn?” I spluttered in disbelief as I took in the sight of his face as he lay on top of the ledge that I had previously clung to, his arms outstretched with both hands firmly grasping my wrist.

“It’s alright Alice, I’m here!” He reassured me, “Give me your other hand!” I nodded and tried to swing my injured arm upwards for him to catch, but as he released my other wrist by one hand, I felt myself suddenly slip.

“Aragorn!” I cried as my wrist slid from his grasp and he was forced to take hold of my hand.

“Just… Just hold on Alice.” He groaned with effort as he tried to pull me closer to him, but only resulted in him sliding further over the edge – he was going to fall if he kept this up.

“Aragorn,” I gasped, realising what I had to do, “You have to let go.”

“No!” He growled instantly, sliding further over the edge as part of it crumbled under our combined weight.

“Aragorn, listen to me!” I cried, “I won’t let you die for me!” I gently loosened my hold on his hand as I tried to reason with him. “Please, you have to let me go.”

“No, don’t say that Alice!” He argued, “I couldn’t live with myself know I’d let you go!” I gazed up into his eyes, finding they were filled with tears, “I love you.”

“I love you too Aragorn.” I choked on my own tears, “I love you so much, that’s why I can’t let you do this, please.” I begged softly as he closed his eyes, as if to block out my request.

Suddenly, as if in slow motion, my fingers slid out of his and his eyes flew open as I gasped in terror. “Alice no!” He lunged forwards, grabbing my hand as I screamed, realising he was about to fall – and then we both juddered to a halt.

I clamped my eyes shut, afraid of the hundreds of potential scenarios I could see if I opened them. I could hear Aragorn breathing, that was a good thing, and ruled out several of the possible scenarios that I had been dreading, so I slowly opened my eyes and looked up, gasping quietly as I spotted a hand firmly grasping the back of Aragorn’s cloak.

“Legolas.” I breathed as the elf hauled us both upwards. A large gloved hand grasped my upper arm and I felt myself get dragged onto solid ground, rolling onto my back and panting heavily as tears continued to fall from my eyes.

“Alice?” Aragorn’s face swam into my field of vision, and I could feel his hands on my shoulders, supporting me as I sat up and lightly touched his cheek. “It’s alright.” He whispered, covering my hand with his, “It’s over.” I choked on a quiet sob as I flung my arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder. I couldn’t quite believe that it was over, that we had no more challenges to face, no more battles. As Aragorn held me close to him, I began to relax, feeling him softly kissing the top of my head and rubbing soothing circles on my back. With a quiet sigh I sat back and looked over my shoulder, seeing both Legolas and Gimli looking on. I wordlessly reached out my hand for the pain of them and pulled them down into a tight hug. I wanted to thank them, but no words would come out as they stepped away and I saw Legolas cast a worried look at something behind me. I turned, and once again felt like I was falling as I took in the sight of the erupting volcano buried deep behind the mountains of Mordor, now visible due to the gaping hole where the gates had once stood. Frodo and Sam where in there somewhere, they couldn’t have gotten out that quickly… I covered my mouth with my hand to try and hold back the silent sobs that shook my body as Aragorn gathered me back into his arms, softly murmuring comforting words in my ear, but I didn’t really hear him as I closed my eyes, feeling a sense of emptiness creeping up on me. I gladly accepted it, allowing my overpowering emotions of grief to float away as I slipped into the merciful darkness.

*

Mindless patterns danced behind my closed eyelids in shades of pinks and reds as I felt the warmth of sun on my skin. I rolled onto my side with a contented sigh, wanting to return to the peaceful realms of sleep. I was afraid that if I opened my eyes, the events I could recall from when I was last conscious would turn out to be a dream, that I’d still be lying in bed with Aragorn waiting to march off into battle, only this time we wouldn’t make it.

I was almost sure I was right when I felt a familiar, warm, calloused hand close around mine, and another lightly touching my forehead. He was going to wake me up and tell me to get ready, I was sure of it.

My opinion suddenly changed when I felt someone prod my arm where I distinctly remembered receiving a rather painful cut.

“Ow! Quit it!” I growled, swiping blindly at the offending hand which – when I managed to grab it, closed around my fingers, mirroring the situation my other hand was in. My scowl softened into a smile as I heard him laugh quietly, bringing my fingers to his lips to kiss them gently. “Aragorn...” I murmured, still keeping my eyes closed as I rolled over to where his laughter had come from. I couldn’t feel him lying on the bed beside me, and now that I thought about it, this didn’t feel like my bed. It was slightly firmer, and smelt cleaner.

My eyes fluttered open with curiosity as I looked down at the white sheets, and then at the white walls of the room, realising I must be in the Houses of Healing. The last thing in the room my eyes settled on was the man sitting in a chair at my bedside.

“Good morning.” Aragorn smiled, releasing my hand so I could use it to sit up and brush away the few strands of loose hair that had fallen into my eyes. Looking down, I realised I was wearing a white nightgown that must have been swapped for my battle armour at some point.

“Morning.” I murmured as he shifted from his chair onto the side of my bed and held out his arms for me – which I gladly crawled into. “Have I missed anything?”

“You have.” He said softly, a hint of a smile in his voice as I looked up curiously. “Gandalf found Frodo and Sam.”

“Really? Are they alright?” I asked, sitting up quickly.

“Sam is fine, but Frodo has been unconscious since he was recovered.” He spoke softly as I nodded.

“How long was I out for?”

“Almost two days.”

“You made him positively frantic with worry.” I glanced up as a new voice joined our conversation, and smiled as Legolas pushed open the door to my current bedchamber and walked in, accompanied by Gimli.

“Feelin’ better lass?” The dwarf asked as I smiled.

“Much.” I nodded, leaning my head on Aragorn’s shoulder as the pair walked over to my bedside and Legolas placed his hand on my companion’s shoulder.

“The Council are waiting to speak with you, Aragorn.” He said, casting me an apologetic glance as Aragorn sighed.

“The Council?” I frowned, figuring that the Gondorian authorities probably wanted a word with their future king. “What about?”

“The Coronation.” Legolas answered, “It’s to be held as soon as possible.”

“As soon as Frodo wakes up and Alice feels well enough.” Aragorn corrected him quietly, glancing down at me as I smiled gently.

“Of course I’m well enough.” I said, sitting up a little to kiss his cheek as Legolas cleared his throat.

“Be that as it may,” He smirked, “The Council are still waiting.”

“Of course.” Aragorn mumbled, untangling himself from our embrace and turning to me, “I will not be long.” He kissed my forehead before standing and walking to the door with Legolas and Gimli.

“See you later.” I waved, just as Legolas turned back to me.

“I believe you have another visitor Alice.” He alerted me before quietly slipping away, and I frowned, wondering who it could be.

Even as my ‘visitor’ entered the room my question wasn’t answered, as whoever it was wore a long, floor-length dark cloak with the hood cast over their face. I sat up and swung my legs out of bed, staring curiously at the apparent stranger as they lifted their hand and cast their hood back.

“Lord Elrond!” I exclaimed, as one of the last people I would have guessed nodded politely to me as I stood, feeling the cold stone floor beneath my bare toes. “This is, well, um, a surprise.” I frowned in confusion as he walked slowly towards me and gestured for me to sit.

“I have come to discuss your fulfilled quest.” He said, as I sat down on the edge of my bed, leaving the chair Aragorn had vacated free for the Elvish lord, but he chose not to sit.

“Oh…” I breathed, wondering if he already knew the reason I had been brought to Middle Earth in the first place. Something in his knowing look told me he did.

“You have succeeded in protecting both your world and this one.” He began, his piercing eyes never once leaving mine, “You will recall that you left Rivendell as a part of the Fellowship, with the intention of finding your way back to your own world. Do you still desire this?”

I felt my heartbeat falter a little as I took in his words, was he suggesting what I thought he was?

“W-well I… T-that depends…” I stammered, “Have you found a way for me to get back?” I treaded carefully, trying not to let my emotions carry me in any particular direction as I waited for his answer.

“I believe so.” He nodded, “I believe there may be a way to return you to the world you previously lived in, but it would involve travelling to the Undying Lands.” I gripped the white sheets of my bed in both hands to stop them trembling as he carried on. “There are precious few ships left to travel there, and one leaves shortly after Aragorn’s Coronation. If you should choose to make the journey, I must tell you that there is no way you would ever be able to return to Middle Earth.”

I let out a shaky breath that I didn’t realise I had been holding. He was giving me the chance to go back?

“You can choose to leave or stay,” He added, “I will not try to sway you in any one direction, but you must make your choice by tomorrow morning.”

“T-tomorrow?” I stumbled over the single word as I looked up at him in shock. I had so little time…

“Yes.” He nodded, “I believe the Coronation will be held in the morning, as I sense Frodo is about to wake.” I closed my eyes in an attempt to calm myself as I heard him take a step towards the door. “I will call on you before the ceremony.”

I didn’t say anything as I heard the door close softly, signalling that I was now alone. I stood up, and then sat down again. And then stood again, and began pacing, before once again sitting down. I closed my eyes and ran my hands through my hair, letting out a long, low moan as I did so.

“What the hell am I going to do?” I muttered out loud, staring at the floor. If I stayed then I’d be left with so many unanswered questions that I needed answered, but if I left… I’d be leaving everyone.

There were too many variables. What would have happened back in my world after I came here? What if loads of time had past and I’d been missing the whole time? What if I’d been declared dead or something like that? How the hell was I supposed to get my life back?

Could I even go back to how I was after my experiences here?

“Alice?” I jumped as someone poked their head around my door. “I knocked but I don’t think you heard…” Eowdrin apologised as she observed my distraught state, “Is something wrong?”

“I… I don’t… Oh God…” I groaned, standing and beginning my pacing all over again. “No… Yes… I… I can’t…” I turned and began walking towards the door. “I need to take a walk.” I finally managed to get an understandable sentence out as Eowdrin looked at me in alarm.

“B-but Legolas sent me to tell you that Frodo’s waking up.” She stammered as I halted.

“Oh… Well I’ll have to…” I tried to swallow past the lump gathering in my throat as I tried to get my head straight. “I’ll have to go see him then.” I breathed.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Eowdrin asked as I grabbed a long grey robe from the back of the door and pulled it on.

“No.” I sighed, opening the door and glancing back at her. “Sorry, I just… I need some time to think about stuff.” I muttered my apology as I slipped out the door and out into the hallway. I didn’t even really know where I was going, I don’t think I was even registering where I was or what I saw until I heard someone call my name in an achingly familiar rural accent.

“Miss Alice?”

“S-Sam?” I stumbled over the Hobbit’s name as I found myself staring at him from down a corridor. I quickly walked up to him and caught him in a tight hug, pushing my preoccupied thoughts away as I smiled down at him. I wanted to say something meaningful, but what could you say to someone who’d gone through hell to save your life? “Wow… It’s great to see you.”

I’m so lame.

“Likewise, Miss.” He smiled, seemingly not noticing my awkwardness. “Would you like to see Master Frodo?”

“Is he awake?”

“Just this minute, I believe.” He beamed with delight as I looked to the half-open door we were standing outside. Inside I could hear the clear laughter of Merry and Pippin, and another voice that I felt like I hadn’t heard for years.

“Aren’t you coming?” I asked as I made my way over to the door and saw that Sam was hesitating.

“You go on Miss. I’ll come in a moment.” He nodded, and I smiled gently before pushing the door open. The sight that greeted me warmed away the chills that had crept into my heart after my discussion with Elrond. On a large bed sat three Hobbits – Merry and Pippin, who were both talking excitedly, and Frodo, smiling with delight as he listened to their stories, laughing light-heartedly, and yet there was something about him that seemed more aged. Not troubled exactly, it was more like he was looking at the world through different eyes. Those blue orbs turned to me and he smiled as I entered the room, looking around and seeing Gandalf sitting at the foot of the bed, flanked by Legolas, Gimli and Aragorn. I walked to Aragorn’s side, suddenly remembering the decision I had to make as he took my hand in his. I saw Frodo’s eyes travel down to our entwined fingers and watched as his smile widened with understanding – wiping away the expression of despair that threatened to overwhelm me. He then looked to something behind us, and I glanced over my shoulder, smiling as Sam entered the chamber.

As I looked around the room filled with smiles and laughter, I decided I would wait a little while before my thoughts returned to my inevitable decision.

*

For several hours we stayed in Frodo’s room, listening to him and Sam tell their horrifyingly thrilling tale of what happened to them after they left us during the battle on Amon Hen, to the point where we all met in this room, and in return we shared our story of what had happened to the other parts of the Fellowship – sometimes branching off to tell of what happened to our smaller groups, before backtracking to explain another feature of the story. I’d stopped contributing a short while ago, leaving the others to tell the tale of our journey through the Paths of the Dead as I let my gaze travel around the room, my eyes lingering on the individual members of the Fellowship – as if I was trying to drink in every last detail of their faces… Because right now there was a fifty-fifty chance I would never be alone with them all in the same room ever again.

Finally, when the growing pain in my chest became almost too much to bear, I mumbled an apology and slipped out of the room. I barely registered my journey from the Houses of Healing up to my bedchamber, and when I arrived I simply made my way over to the bed and lay down, curling my arms around a pillow and hugging it to my chest as my mind wandered back to the choice I now had to make. I felt like it should be more obvious than it was right now, but I couldn’t see a clear path through the thick fog of indecision that was clouding my mind. Closing my eyes, I tried to once again weigh up the positives and negatives of both my options, but it seemed like every good point I thought up there was always something to counter it, bringing me back to square one. And still there was the one question I couldn’t answer – all pros and cons aside, what did I really want?

With a sigh I closed my eyes, forcing back the tears of confusion that I could feel welling up as I remained in this limbo.

I wasn’t sure how long I lay like that for, but I must have been almost dozing off as I heard a soft knock on my door – which jerked me back to reality.

“Come in.” I called quietly, feeling my heartbeat increase notably as Aragorn walked into the room, his expression becoming concerned as he saw me curled in a foetal position on the bed. I rubbed at my slightly damp eyes and sat up, still hugging my pillow as he walked to my side and sat down.

“Are you alright?” I paused for a moment before shaking my head. “What’s wrong?”

“Elrond came to see me this morning.” I whispered, and he looked at me curiously, but didn’t say anything as he waited for me to explain further. “He… He told me he’s found a way for me to return home… To my world.” I glanced up, half fearful of Aragorn’s reaction as his expression hardened and he remained silent. “H-he said that I have to make my choice about going by tomorrow… And if I leave I’ll never be able to come back.” I swallowed past the lump gathering in my throat as I watched him, waiting for him to say something. Anything that would break the developing silence.

“What is your choice?”

I take it back. I really didn’t want him to ask that.

As he turned to me I felt tears forming in my eyes again, and I knew I’d have to tell him sooner or later.

“I don’t know.” I choked softly, wanting nothing more than for him to pull me into his arms and tell me that it would be alright.

But he didn’t.

He stood abruptly, making me flinch at the suddenness of his movements as he clenched his fists and started walking towards the door.

“I’ll leave you to make your choice.” He said in a deceptively calm tone. “So as my presence wont sway you.”

With that he opened the door and slammed it behind him, leaving me alone as tears began to slide down my cheeks.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered to the empty room as I lay down on my side again, clutching the pillow to my chest as sobs shook my body. I simply couldn’t make my decision… But Elrond was coming in the morning to hear it… I had to do it tonight.

I tried to think past my distressed tears, but in the end it proved futile as I quietly cried myself into an exhausted sleep.