All Shall Fade

Chapter 44

Last Night, Goodnight

***Alice’s Point of View***

I wandered aimlessly around my bedroom, singing quietly under my breath as I carefully placed my boots under my bed and hung up my coat – overdoing the simple activities in an attempt to push down the fluttering butterflies that were rising so high in my stomach that I thought the metaphorical insects were about to come spewing out of my mouth. What were the chances of us surviving tomorrow? Zero. Well, being generous it could be around one in a million… I sighed and ran one hand through my tangled hair, just as soon as the door to my bedroom flew open and I jumped about a foot in the air.

“Jesus Aragorn!” I yelped, my hand flying to my chest as I spun around and saw him standing in the doorway, his hand still on the handle of the door as he stared at me. I could immediately tell that something was wrong; there was something unsettling about the way he was looking at me. “What… What’s wrong?” I panted, catching my breath as his eyes searched mine. It was a stupid question really, what wasn’t wrong right now?

Aragorn didn’t say anything; he just closed the door and quickly walked over to me, catching me in a tight embrace and burying his face in my neck. “Aragorn, what’s wrong?” I repeated in a whisper as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I could feel him sighing as his warm breath tickled the delicate area of skin that surrounded the bite marks that I had sustained in the battle.

“Do you… Do you still wish to fight tomorrow?” He asked hesitantly, and I pulled away.

“Aragorn…”

“Please.” He murmured, keeping a hold of my arms. “Please reconsider your decision. I could not bear it if you were harmed. I wish for you to stay.”

I opened my mouth, preparing to argue and launch a full on fight, but as I stared up into his eyes I realised that I’d never seen him so sad before. It was almost like he was on the verge of heartbreak. “I have to do this.” I breathed, reaching up to caress his face with one hand. “I don’t want to, but I have to. I still have a responsibility to my world. I need to do everything I can to make sure that it is safe. I owe it that much.” I spoke softly, hoping to reason with him as he sighed forlornly.

“I can not help but think that you would have been safer if we had never met.” He half-whispered, refusing to meet my gaze as he lifted his hand to cover mine.

“No.” I almost gasped, moving closer to him so our foreheads brushed together. “You can’t say that…” I could feel tears gathering in my eyes at his words, even though I knew that he didn’t really mean them. “You can’t… You have no idea how much you mean to me.” I brought up my other hand to gently cup his face and sighed quietly. “Whenever I first arrived in Middle Earth, you were the first person I met, you kept me safe in this foreign world, even though you didn’t know me and could have left me to die.” Aragorn shuddered a little, realising how greatly our past decisions had influenced our present, and what was left of our future.“You are the one who holds me here and stops me fading away. You are the one I fell in love with.” My voice dropped to little more than a whisper as I closed my eyes. “You are my world, Aragorn.” I murmured, “Without you I’m so lost.” I could feel him leaning closer to me so that our lips hovered over each other, occasionally brushing with each breath we took. “I would rather die tomorrow, than live a thousand years without knowing you.” My hoarse whisper was accompanied by a small tear that slid down my cheek, just as Aragorn moved and closed the minute gap between our lips, pulling my body tightly against his chest. He lifted his hand to gently wipe away the tear that had continued to slide across my skin as I relaxed under the gentle pressure of his lips and closed my eyes.

“I love you.” Aragorn moaned softly, cupping my neck as he ran his lips over my jaw line. I sighed as my fingers slipped through the soft strands of his hair and curled around the locks that settled at the nape of his neck.

“Will you… Will you stay with me tonight?” I asked breathlessly, the words slipping past my lips before I could even properly consider them.

“Alice…” Aragorn pulled away from me in an attempt to distance us before he began to reject my request. I could see this coming though, so I clung to him, drawing him close to me again.

“I-I didn’t mean…” I sighed and dropped my gaze after realising that he was refusing to make eye contact with me. “I just… Really don’t want to be on my own tonight.” I stared down at my bare feet, expecting to feel him pulling away again. “Please, just one night? If we survive tomorrow we’ll have all the time in the world to be together but if we don’t… I don’t want to have to leave you without spending every second I possibly could in your presence.” My voice had dropped to what was less than a whisper as I cautiously glanced up at him past my eyelashes. “I love you.” He didn’t reply. He didn’t even look down at me. Of course he wouldn’t want to stay; it just wasn’t something you did here obviously. Probably a matter of honour or something…

To my surprise I felt Aragorn’s arms tighten around me as he pulled me against his warm chest, letting me lay my head on his shoulder. I instantly relaxed as I felt him kiss the top of my head and run his fingers through my hair.

“I want to stay with you too.” He said, slipping one arm around my waist, “For as long as you want me.”

“Really?” I instantly mentally kicked myself for questioning his answer as Aragorn smiled and nodded a little. “Uh… Thanks.” I mumbled with a nervous smile as I suppressed a yawn.

“You’re tired.” Aragorn stated and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Of course I was tired… But I didn’t say anything; I just took his hand and pulled him across the room to the bed where I flopped down and rolled onto my side so I was facing him. The bed dipped under his weight as he sat down and pulled off his boots and coat whilst I closed my eyes, just feeling better knowing that he was there. I crawled under the covers and rested my head on the soft pillow as he lay down, leaving a careful gap between our bodies.

“Whatever happens tomorrow, I hope it happens to us together.” I murmured, opening my eyes halfway to watch as he rolled over to face me. I couldn’t imagine my life without him; he’d been a huge part of it for so long now, if something happened to him I knew I wouldn’t be able to cope – hell, when I’d thought he was dead back in Helm’s Deep I almost got dragged away from this world completely.

“Are you frightened?” Aragorn asked softly.

“Yeah…” I half-laughed at my obvious answer as Aragorn held out his hand for me to take and pulled me against his chest, wrapping his arms around me and kissing the top of my head.

“I know that there’s nothing I can say that will change the outcome of tomorrow,” He said, stroking my hair, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be… It’s not your fault.” I sighed.

“I suggested the plan of going into battle.” He muttered under his breath, and I shifted to tuck my head under his chin.

“If you’re going to start blaming yourself then I’ll kick you out of this bed.” I grumbled, feeling him pull me a little closer against his chest, saying nothing as I closed my eyes and suppressed a yawn.

“Are you worried?” Aragorn asked quietly, breaking the silence, “About tomorrow?”

“Of course,” I sighed, “Not that it’ll make any difference if I am or not.” I smiled weakly, opening my eyes halfway and staring at his shirt front. “I guess it’s impossible to die without regrets anyway.”

“What do you regret?” He whispered in my ear.

“I suppose never being able to see my home again.” I murmured, “Or my friends or family… I just hope that something we do makes a difference over there. As long as Sauron can’t get into my world I’ll be happy enough.”

“Do you regret coming to Middle Earth?”

I glanced up at him and smiled, “No, because I met you here – I could never regret that.” I shifted so I could look up into his face without craning my neck. “Do you regret anything?”

“If I were to die tomorrow, all I would regret is losing my future with you.” His voice dropped to a whisper as I felt my chest tighten. His hand found mine, entwining our fingers together as he brought them up to his lips. “Is it selfish of me to wish to be by your side until the very end?”

“No…” I murmured, “But don’t say stuff like that yet… We still have some time.” I didn’t want to admit to myself just how little time we had. Aragorn seemed to sense my fear and kissed the top of my head as I yawned.

“You should get some sleep Alice.” He whispered in my ear.

“I’m fine.” I muttered, “I want to spend more time with you.”

“I’ll be right here.” He said, squeezing my hand and kissing it again. “I promise.” I rested my head on his chest – deciding against protesting, knowing he was right. If I was to have any chance tomorrow I had to be well rested.

“Alright… Goodnight.” I sighed reluctantly, closing my eyes and trying to clear my cluttered mind as Aragorn rhythmically stroked my hair. The last thing I remember before dropping off to sleep was feeling his warm lips on my forehead and hearing him softly whisper something that sounded like ‘I love you.’

*

It felt like no time since I had dozed off before I heard Aragorn gently whispering my name in my ear.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t want to wake you.” He apologised as I groggily opened my eyes and realised how closely my body was curled against his, his arms locked tightly around my waist and his face buried in the tangled mess of my hair, and for a moment I totally forgot why he was lying here beside me, and then it all came back in a horrible rush of stomach-churning dread. Aragorn must have felt me tense with realisation because he quickly began soothingly stroking my hair. “Don’t be frightened.” He assured me, “You… You don’t have to-”

“I do have to go today.” I interrupted him, already know that he was about to try and persuade me to not go into battle today. He smiled and nodded sadly, as if already knowing that his efforts were futile.

“Then we need to get ready.” He said softly, taking my hand and sitting up. I followed him slowly to the edge of the bed, sitting down beside him with a quiet sigh as I stared at the ground. I waited for him to move, to initiate some action that would motivate me to get up, but he didn’t. We just sat there, my fingertips slightly brushing his as we sat side-by-side in silence. Possibly the last silence we would ever share. At least until the end. The ultimate and final silence.

“What do you think happens?” I blurted out in an uneasy whisper. “After…?” I trailed off, and felt his hand close around mine, the last words that I could bring myself to say still lingering just behind my lips: After we die?

“I don’t know.” He admitted, revealing that he was just as utterly ignorant as I was. As frightened as I was by that thought, there was a comforting undertone to it. We were facing the unknown together. We weren’t alone.

“At least we’ll know soon enough, right?” I smiled weakly down at the white marble floor. “It’s like the last great joke, and now we’re going to be in on it.”

Aragorn’s hand squeezed mine before he stood; kissing the top of my head before letting my fingers slip out of his.

“I’ll be back soon.” He murmured, “I promise.” I swallowed past the lump forming in my throat and nodded wordlessly as he walked across the room, gathering his belongings from where they had been discarded the night before. I imagined myself not looking up until he had closed the door to my room behind him and the sound of his boots against the cobbled street outside faded away, but then I realised that this could be the last time we were alone together.

“Aragorn…” I called after him, and he hesitated in the doorway as I stood and dashed across the room to him, the stone floor freezing the underside of my feet with every step until I reached him and threw my arms around his neck. “I love you.” I choked on the words that used to come so easily and without consequence as I fought back tears of hopelessness. I never thought I’d give up fighting, but it was hard to keep hold of the determination that once possessed me when everything already seemed to be lost. I felt Aragorn’s arms curl around me, holding me to his body as he fiercely brought his lips to mine and pulled me into the passionate kiss. I pressed myself closer against him, and then as his lips broke away from mine I made an involuntary whine of disappointment, which made Aragorn laugh softly.

“Do you remember the day I told you why I had developed feelings for you?” He asked, and I nodded silently. “It was because of how fiery and lively you were.” He kissed me again, the brief contact of our lips making my heart hammer wildly as he pulled away again. “Don’t let that fire go out before it’s time.” Again his lips found mine and my eyes fell shut – and then he was gone. I opened my eyes just in time to see the door close behind him and hear his inappropriately lively footfalls die away as he walked up towards the citadel.

I smiled, reaching up to touch my lips with my fingertips as I stared at the door, my heart still beating furiously in my chest, reminding me that it was still there. That I was still alive. Just because this could be my last day didn’t mean I should live it like I was already dead.

“Idiot…” I muttered with a smile, unable to tell whether I was talking about myself or Aragorn as I turned around and began to get ready, tugging on my boots and coat and fastening my leather gauntlets to my forearms. I had just finished sheathing my swords when I heard a knock on the door. “Back for more?” I mumbled to myself as I stood and went to open it, but it wasn’t Aragorn who stood outside, but Legolas.

“Are you ready?” He asked quietly, and I nodded, spotting Gimli standing behind him. I looked at my two friends that I’d known for almost all the time that I’d lived in this world, and the idea that they might not be here tomorrow was almost inconceivable.

As if reading my thoughts, Gimli stepped forward. “Don’ worry about us lass.” He said, his usual gruff tones softening, “There's still enough fight left in this dwarf to take on Mordor – although I can’t speak for the elf.” I laughed in spite of myself as Legolas reached out his hand for me. I took it and quietly shut the door behind me as I stepped out into the street. The white buildings were tinged a lemon-yellow colour in the light of the rising sun as I walked hand-in-hand with my elfish companion and flanked by a dwarf. We probably looked more than odd, but I doubted anyone was actually paying any attention to us as we walked down the already crowded street lined with soldiers wearing the armour of Gondor and their families saying tearful goodbyes. How many orphans and widows would be made today? How many sons and sweethearts would never come home? I looked away and focused on making my way down to the lowest level of the city. The decimated courtyard was already filled with soldiers on horses, some of which were spilling out of what had once been a massive wooden gateway, but was now only good for kindling. There were hundreds of men, many wearing the sturdy silver chest plates stamped with the white tree of their city, but mingling amongst them the rustic golden brown shades of Rohan were scattered. The last united front of men.

“Alice!” I turned as I heard my name being called and let my hand drop from where it was entangled with the hand of the blonde price beside me as Eowdrin came running up to us, a familiar dappled grey horse in tow.

“Eowdrin!” I cried in delight at seeing her out of her bed, and caught her in a careful hug, still mindful of her injuries.

“Legolas and Eómer won’t let me fight with you.” She sighed as she stood back, disappointment clear in her eyes as Legolas moved to her side and she cast him a wistful glance. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to stay here in the city and watch Aragorn leave for battle without me, knowing deep in my heart that I wouldn’t see him again…

It was for the best at Eowdrin stayed, just like it was for the best that I left. She was still recovering from her injuries, and she’d be safe here with her sister. I still had a duty to fulfil. My world wasn’t safe yet.

I felt her press a familiar pair of leather reins into my hand, and only then did I remember the horse that stood behind her. “I promised you I’d look after her, didn’t I?” Eowdrin smiled weakly as I ran my hand down Aduial’s neck and kissed her pale grey forehead.

“Thank you.” I whispered, once again holding back tears as I hugged my horse. “I don’t think I could do any of this without you guys.” Eowdrin hugged me again and I sniffed loudly. “I’m not crying, I swear.” I muttered as she pulled away. “We’ll see each other again someday, I can feel it.”

“I feel it too.” She smiled, clasping her hands around mine as I felt tears gather in my eyes. “So no goodbyes, Alice.” I nodded and she looked at something just over my shoulder, bowing her head respectfully and stepping away. I sighed as Aragorn’s familiar scent flooded my senses, giving me a second’s warning before he appeared at my side and took my hand.

“We’ll be alright.” I breathed, glancing up at him and seeing the regal armour he was wearing, emblazoned with the white tree of Gondor. He looked like a king, but would he ever get to sit on the throne? He smiled gently and pulled me closer into his warm embrace, kissing the top of my head as I hugged him tightly.

“Stay close to me.” He whispered in my ear, “Whatever we’re facing, we’ll meet it together.” I nodded as I felt him release me and stood up on my toes to plant a soft kiss on his lips. I didn’t care that hundreds of soldiers could be watching as my eyes drifted shut. It didn’t feel like this would be our last kiss, but every one was precious. I drew back as he rested his forehead against mine and I gazed up at him, noticing now that his normally ruggedly unkempt hair had been tamed. I didn’t like it as much as his usual wild, windblown style, but I could live with it. Behind us, someone cleared their throat and I turned, blushing as my arms slipped from around Aragorn and I spotted Gandalf in his blindingly white robes looking at us with an understanding smile. My eyes darted back to Aragorn briefly as he gently caressed my cheek, our gazes locking for a moment before he turned away and followed Gandalf through the crowd of men and horses.

I sighed as I watched him go and speak with the wizard at the other side of the courtyard. Men were beginning to mount their horses and were starting to assemble at the gates. I knew I should move but I stood, frozen to the spot, Aduial’s reins still looped over one arm.

“Alice?” I glanced at Legolas as he placed his hand on my shoulder and looked out at where I had been staring.

“I really thought we were going to make it.” I murmured, “When all the battles were over I thought we’d be free… It was stupid of me I guess. There’s always one battle you have to lose.”

“This day may not be our day.” The elf said gently, before turning away. I looked over my shoulder as he walked to Eowdrin and they embraced. He still had hope. He had to, of course. It was heartbreaking watching their goodbye, knowing that they had only recently discovered their love for each other, and now they were to be torn apart.

On the other side of the courtyard, I spotted Aragorn mounting a horse proudly bearing the colours of Gondor, and I couldn’t help but smile as I recognised Brego. Gandalf was already astride Shadowfax and the two began making their way towards the front of the assembling army.

I swallowed, feeling like my heart had leapt up into my throat, as if it was trying to flee from the mortal shell it was trapped in and escape to somewhere safer. There was nowhere to run though.

I hastily mounted Aduial and rested my hand on my swords, the final check before I began to guide her to the front of the column where I could see Aragorn waiting. I said nothing as I reached his side, seeing already that he was flanked by Gandalf and Pippin on Shadowfax, Legolas and Gimli, and Eómer and Merry. My arrival seemed to be a silent signal, and Aragorn spurred Brego to life, letting him walk briskly ahead of our small party that lead the last resistance of Middle Earth.

It had begun.