All Shall Fade

Chapter 12

Breaking the Ties

A month flew by without me even noticing, and soon the day approached when the Fellowship was set to leave Rivendell. I only had one more night in this place before I left it, possibly forever. So help me, if I haven’t gotten home by the time this quest was over, I’m going to march all the way back here and sue Lord Elrond for every single elvish penny he has!

My training with Legolas and Aragorn had ended a few days ago, and Legolas had even presented me with my own bow, quiver and set of two short swords, much like the ones he used. I had to admit, when I was strapped up in all my awesome gear, I actually looked like I knew what I was doing! I couldn’t shift the thought that lay at the back of my mind though, that they were training me to be a killer. The idea of ending anyone’s life sickened me, but when I had asked Aragorn about it, he’d just said; “Kill or be killed Alice. You only have to do it in self-defence; when the time comes, I know you’ll do the right thing.” Somehow I had a feeling that he was putting a little too much faith in me.

I sat on the floor of my bedroom, staring at my few possessions. I was to pack light, so that meant one change of clothes, my weapons, and the clothes on my back pretty much. Come to think of it, that was almost all I owned in this world… Actually, most of it I didn’t own, things like my shirts and boots I’d borrowed from Arwen. I just counted myself lucky that I’d decided to wear leggings that day I went hiking instead of jeans or shorts… I’d be pretty screwed by now if I had. My eyes scanned the floor for anything that I had forgotten to shove into my pack – again, borrowed – and I spotted my battered phone lying on the ground. I had barely looked at it since that first day, so I turned it on and light sprang up behind the cracked screen. No signal - of course. I almost laughed at my weak expectations before I focused on the background photo. Toby, Claire and Me holding Jess as a puppy… I sighed and lightly traced my fingertips over the screen, my heart aching as the familiar sense of homesickness came back to haunt me. The phone bleeped, complaining of low battery, so I turned it off and slipped it into my pocket, just as someone knocked the door.

“Come in!” I called, scrambling to my feet as Arwen slipped through the door, carrying what looked like a bundle of clothes. I smiled as I sat down on my bed and she joined me.

“Um, thanks for letting me borrow your things whilst I was here… And for letting me use the stuff I’m taking with me.” I mumbled awkwardly as she smiled.

“There is no need to thank me; I trust you will use them well.” She nodded, holding out her bundle for me, “These are also for you; you will need them on your journey.” I curiously unwrapped the grey bundle, and my eyes widened as I picked up a dark coat of tough, leathery material, wrapped in a silvery blue-grey cloak.

“Arwen…” I breathed, running my fingers over the gifts, “Thank you.” I smiled.

“They were mine, but I will need them no longer.” She sighed, glancing up at me, “We will not see each other again Alice.”

“What are you talking about?” I frowned, “I know I’m still trying to get home, but if I find a way to get back I’ll try to visit you before I go, or who knows, maybe I’d be able to come back here from my world!” I protested as she shook her head.

“If you do return, I will not be here.” She whispered.

“Arwen?” I tilted my head in confusion as she sighed.

“I am leaving for the Undying Lands Alice; it is my father’s wish.”

“B-but Arwen!” I cried, “What about Aragorn? I thought you two were…” I trailed off as I saw tears glisten in her radiant eyes, and found myself struggling to hold back tears myself.

“He knows of what I intend to do. He understands.” Her voice dropped to an almost inaudible whisper as she lowered her head.

“But what about all that crap you hear in the movies? True love always finds a way and all that? Why aren’t you fighting to stay?” I cried, tears escaping my eyes and rolling down my cheeks as she shook her head, saying nothing. “God damn it… Someone please give me a reason to believe in true love.” I groaned, wiping at my eyes as I stared at the ground. Arwen reached out and took my hand in hers, squeezing it a little, before I flung my arms around her neck. “I c-can’t believe I’m n-never going to see you again…” I whimpered between sobs as we hugged each other. We sat like that for a while, minutes… Hours even. The sky outside was growing dark as she sat back and I wiped my eyes. “I hate goodbyes.” I hiccupped.

“Then do not say goodbye.” She smiled kindly, “I will be watching over you from afar.” I looked up at her, doubting her words until I met her eyes, and then I believed every word. I nodded silently as she pulled me into another embrace. “Will you do something for me?” She asked and I nodded.

“Anything.”

“Take care of Aragorn for me.”

“S-sure…” I sniffed, sitting back and blinking back my tears. To me, the idea of having to look out for Aragorn was borderline hilarious – he was the one who routinely stopped me from impaling myself on my own arrow or something ridiculous like that.

“Thank you Alice.” Arwen whispered.

“It’s ok.” I smiled a little, brushing my tangled hair out of my eyes. “I guess it’s going to be weird being the only girl on this trip… I’ll miss you Arwen.”

“And I you.” She sighed, “Be safe Alice, I will be there to see you off in the morning.” And with that she stood and left, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I sighed and stared at the clothing she had left me, before picking it up and moving to put it on top of my pack for tomorrow. As I stood, something fell out of the bundle and hit the floor with a light tinkling sound. I frowned and looked down before picking up the thin silver chain that lay on the floor. I held it in front of my face and my eyes widened as I saw the perfect white teardrop crystal hanging from it. As clear cut as glass, but it glittered like a diamond. “Oh my God Arwen…” I whispered, feeling tears gather in my eyes again. “Stop giving me stuff and making me feel like crap.” I sniffed, rubbing at my eyes as I doubled up the chain and looped it around my wrist for safekeeping as I guiltily realised that I had nothing to give her in return. I glanced out my balcony window and the urge to be outside hit me. This was my last night here after all… I might as well make the most of it. I walked out to my balcony and vaulted over the rail, sliding down it using my bare feet and fingertips, until I was dangling from the edge and the only thing stopping me from falling was my grip on the ledge. The thought crossed my mind that it would have been much less stupid to go down the stairs as I swung myself back and forth, before releasing the balcony and catching the trellis below my window. I quickly climbed down it – not wanting to damage the delicate flowers. Once my feet were safely on solid ground I looked up at my balcony. It would have been definitely easier to take the stairs. What if I’d fallen? The quest would have been delayed, or I might even have been left behind. I shook my head, refusing to dwell on ‘what ifs’ as I turned and walked across the courtyard. The stone was smooth under my bare feet as I followed a narrow path that I’d never taken before. Unlike every other area here, it was untended and overgrown, as if it was rarely used. It only made me want to follow it more. I curiously followed it out of sight of the main courtyard, and jumped as Lord Elrond appeared from amongst the trees ahead of me. “Oh, hi.” I smiled nervously.

“Good Evening.” He nodded, moving to walk past me as if we were simply meeting in the street.

“Erm…” I turned as he passed me by, and then hesitated as I spoke, “What’s beyond those trees?” I asked, gesturing further along the overgrown path.

“It is a place where we lay to rest those who have passed on.” He murmured as I shivered a little. A graveyard? He then turned and left me standing alone as I debated whether or not to go on. Graveyards had always creeped me out. Whose brilliant idea had it been to put dead bodies underground where we would inevitably stumble across them again someday? Humanity confused me sometimes. My persistent curiosity won me over eventually, and I continued walking down the path, mentally preparing myself for the typical gloomy-grey-cracked-headstones-and-ominous-birdcalls place I was about to enter.

As I ducked under the low-hanging branches of a tree that had grown across the path, I gasped quietly. It wasn’t what I had been expecting at all. The path split into several forks and snaked off between the trees as I entered what might have been once a clearing, before the trees claimed it. The area was illuminated by the dying rays of the setting sun as it slipped below the horizon beyond the trees. Here and there, a white stone statue or headstone was placed. Not cramped together or set out in orderly rows, they were just there… As if they had always been there. It wasn’t a sad place; it was just full of memories. The air itself seemed thick with them.

My feet carried me along one path and I peered curiously at the stones that were all inscribed in Elvish. I imagined that they said something similar to the stones in modern graveyards – something about the person that lay under them or something like that. I walked a little further along the path, and then jumped as I realised that I wasn’t alone. I peered around a young sapling that grew at the edge of the path and spotted a figure kneeling by a grave. They looked up and noticed me, and I quickly recognised that it was Aragorn.

“S-sorry,” I stammered, “I didn’t mean to intrude…” I trailed off as he glanced back at the grave.

“It’s alright.” He murmured loud enough for me to hear. I sighed a little as I walked over to him, figuring that it was ok. I knelt down beside him and looked at the delicately carved statue of a woman that adorned a stone. For several minutes, we sat in silence, before my curiosity got the better of me.

“Who was she?” I whispered, locking my hands together in my lap to stop them fidgeting.

“My mother.” He replied quietly.

“Is that her?” I asked, nodding to the statue.

“Yes.” He looked up very slightly as I reached up and brushed a leaf off the shoulder of the statue.

“She’s very beautiful.” I smiled, looking at the soft, kind features of the woman, knowing the elves that had carved the statue would have done her justice. I was aware that Aragorn was looking at me, but I couldn’t bring myself to look over at him. “What does it say?” I asked, gesturing to the elvish script on the stone. Aragorn reached out and brushed his fingers over a single sentence.

“Onen i-Estel Edain, û-chebin estel anim.” He whispered, drawing his hand back. “The last words she spoke to me… ‘I gave hope to the Dúnedain, I have kept no hope for myself.’” He lowered his head as I realised that I had stopped breathing, and proceeded to inhale quietly.

“What about your father?” I asked.

“He fell in battle when I was two years old.”

“Oh…” I mumbled. No wonder he had issues. I sat back slightly as silence fell and only the evening sounds of the forest surrounded us. “You know,” I sighed, running a hand through my hair, “I used to think you hated me.” I admitted quietly as he looked up.

“I don’t hate you.” He whispered, causing my cheeks to warm and I knew I was blushing; at least my freckles would hide it a little.

“I-I know… It’s just, the way you sometimes acted around me, it was like you didn’t trust me.” I stumbled over my words as I wondered why I had started the conversation in the first place.

“I didn’t trust you.” He stated, and it was like someone had just dropped a ton of bricks on my head.

‘Ouch…’ I thought as he carried on.

“I didn’t when we first met, and then when I found out that you weren’t from this world I was suspicious of you. But I trust you now. I apologise for the way I acted, my behaviour was unforgivable.”

“Not totally unforgivable. You’ve saved my life once or twice already; I think I can afford to let you away with this one.” I smiled as I glanced up at him, and caught sight of the jewel that hung around his neck. I remembered seeing Arwen wear it, but recently, he had been wearing it. “How long have you known?” I whispered as he noticed what I was staring at.

“Since the night we spoke on the cliff-top.” He murmured. He’d known that she planned to leave for all that time and not said anything?

“I see.” I mumbled quietly. Arwen’s departure undoubtedly hurt him more than it hurt me, so it was probably hard for him to talk about. I looked back up at the statue and frowned a little. “Where do you think they go?” I murmured to myself.

“Hm?”

“What do you think happens when people die? Do they go somewhere, or does everything just stop?” I elaborated, more so speaking my thoughts aloud than having a conversation. “Where I come from there are so many theories… And it’s all because people can’t accept that one day; it’s all going to end. They need to know that there’s something after that, an escape. It’s so stupid…” I sighed, “It’s stupid to be afraid of something you can’t prevent.”

“What do you believe?” Aragorn asked, making me glance up.

“Well, technically I’m an Agnostic.” I explained as he looked at me in confusion, “Basically, I believe that there’s something out there, something bigger than all of this…” I gestured with my hand to our surroundings, “I just don’t know what it is… Maybe we’re not supposed to know what it is.” I shrugged, “Either way, I’m not scared of death; I can accept that someday, I’ll be gone. It’s the dying part that scares me… If that makes sense.” I smiled weakly, “It’s a strange thought, isn’t it? Here we are, sitting with our conscious thoughts, and at some point, they might be gone. It’s hard to wrap your head around.” I laughed a little, “It’s like a candle being blown out. One second there’s light, and the next second, nothing but darkness.” I glanced up at Aragorn and smiled, “Sorry that was a bit of a depressing rant wasn’t it?”

“Your mind is fascinating.” Aragorn smiled, “I found it interesting.”

“Oh… Well thanks. I’ve always figured I was a little insane, and I’m not doing much to prove myself wrong.” I laughed nervously, shoving my hands into my pockets and frowning as I came across my phone. I pulled it out and stared at the blank screen for a long moment.

“Is something wrong?” Aragorn asked and I shook my head.

“No… There’s just something I have to do.” I muttered, climbing to my feet. To my surprise, Aragorn also stood and followed me as I walked back along the path. “You don’t have to come.” I said as he caught up with me.

“I know, I want to though.” He smiled a little as we left the clearing and he pushed aside the branches of the trees for me as we made our way back along the path.

A few minutes later I found myself standing at the edge of the cliff above the waterfall, turning on my phone as a night breeze tousled my loose hair. Aragorn stood a short distance behind me as I stared at the picture of my friends.

“I’m scared Aragorn.” I admitted quietly as I traced my fingertips across the screen.

“Scared of what?” He asked taking a few steps towards me.

“That I won’t get back.” I whispered, “What if something happens to me here and I never make it home? What if I never see my friends or family again?” I felt tears gather in my eyes as I looked down at the screen. Aragorn approached my side and gently placed his hand on my shoulder, just as my phone bleeped, claiming that I only had a minute’s worth of battery left. Aragorn stiffened, clearly alarmed that the little box I held was making noises, but he said nothing as I stared intently at the screen, trying to absorb every last detail of my friends faces, before ‘Battery Empty’ suddenly flashed up on the screen, and the light faded. I sighed, tightening my hold on the now-useless lump of plastic in my hand as I stared out at the dark river.

“Alice?” Aragorn murmured quietly, “I won’t let anything happen to you. I promised Arwen I would keep you safe.”

I smiled and looked up at him. “Thank you.” I whispered, glancing back down at my phone, before drawing my arm back and throwing it as hard as I could. Severing my last physical tie with the world I knew. I watched as it travelled through the air, almost in slow motion, before landing with a quiet ‘plop’ in the river below.