Remember that the point of this review is to guide you to improvement. If you have any questions, do not before afraid to talk to your reviewer or to @ericson119. We are here to help you, not review your book and simply move on to the next one.

How to: Survive Inside This Forsaken World With Me! By avidreaderjune

Reviewer: The_Scarlet_Writer

Cover/Title: 5/10

. The cover is really creative and I do love the colors. My suggestion is to maybe change the color of the title on it because the purple is too flashy on the red and pink background.
. The title is just a little too long and not that catchy in my opinion.

-

Blurb: 7/10

. Reading the blurb made me really interested in the story, but I'd personally find it better if it was a tad shorter.

-

First chapter: 8/10

. This chapter was amazing, your descriptions were on point and I found myself excited to keep on reading.

. This is something I find myself repeating way too much, but it's just my honest opinion. Capital letters throw off the reader and make them lose this deep focus they have on the story.

. In the second paragraph, there is a slight grammar mistake. Knowing that, you are using the past tense to tell the story. "Dare" should be "Dared".

-

Grammar/Punctuation: 6/10

. In chapter 2, the first paragraph after the stars ***: The citadel was too massive to actually know it's size... "It's" should be "its".

. One exclamation mark should be enough.

. Chapter 2: She was younger then everyone..., "then" should be "than". If you're wondering why, "then" indicates time or a chronological order of some sort, and "than" is used for comparisons.

. You've got some run-on sentences. To fix this, just add commas where appropriate.

-

Vocabulary: 9/10

. The description is really good, and you did a good job at choosing the right vocabulary to go along with the story's idea.

-

Plot/Pacing: 9/10

. I find the pace of the whole story really satisfying, not too slow nor too fast.

-

Characters/Characters development: 7/10

. I love the characters so much, and the way you introduce them progressively into the story is really good.

. The names are really creative. I especially laughed at Bane Nomura's personality, he's so cute and funny (He's my favorite).

. Now, I do feel like something is laking when it comes to the emotions and reactions for each character. Usually these two elements help you relate to the events, and make you want to cry or laugh, sending you on an emotional rollercoaster.

-

Originality: 10/10

. Honestly in this department, you got it down to the Z.

-

World Building: 9/10

. You built a whole world of your own, giving us an escape of the real world which I feel is something any reader would dream of.

-

Imagery: 8/10

. Imagining the scenes was mostly very easy, but I was always interrupted by either too many punctuations, capital letters. Some things ruin the flow of the story, and you should take the time to consider this while writing.

-

Overall: This story is really lovely, but still needs some editing. Hopefully, you take my advice into consideration, and don't hesitate to ask if you've got any questions.

-

Questions for the author:

- What do you think of the review? Did it help you improve?

- What kind of story are you going for? Tell us so we can understand you.

- What do you enjoy about writing? Tell us how it makes you feel.

- What is your writing process like?