Finally

Saina's

HANIEL had been a little sad these past few days. Napapansin ko iyon kahit na parang pinipilit niyang h'wag ipakita sa akin. He smiles, he talks, he tells me things about school pero may isa akong napansin, he doesn't talk about Joshua anymore. He used to tell me all the things that him and Joshua did all day at school, pero ngayon, wala siyang binabanggit. He talks about their other friends, he talks about his activities but as of this week, there's no Joshua involved. Tinanong ko rin si Uriel kung nakikita niya bang naglalaro ang dalawa pero tulad ng hinala ko ay walang kaalam – alam ang tatay sa nagaganap.

Haniel is extra quiet these days too. Tahimik na bata ang anak ko. pero may times na talagang madaldal siya, pero ngayon, nakikita ko siyang nakatingin lang sa malayo, o kaya man ay nagbubuntong – hininga.

I smiled at myself while I was watching my son answer his assignment. I took a leave from work and I requested that I won't be contacted at all this week. Kapag kasi may mga creative discussions o kung anumang desisyong gusto ni Rai ang opinyon ko ay bigla – bigla siyang tatawag, kaya nagbilin akong pabayaan muna akong mag – isa buong linggong ito. I need to rearrange my priorities. Si Haniel pa rin ang number 1 ko, number 2 used to be myself, but when Gerry happened, nawala sa linya ang huwisyo ko. I got so comfortable and I thought that things will be better, that this time, iba na ang ending nito, pero sa ganoon pa rin napunta.

"Love, do you want some pizza for dinner?" Tanong ko kay Haniel. Noon lang siya tumingin sa akin. Pinilit niya lang ngumiti.

"Anything is fine, Mom." Wika niya. It doesn't settle with me. Paborito ni Haniel ang pizza. He grew up in Italy and the first struggle I met as his mom when we came back here in the Philippies is finding an authethic Italian pizza. Wala akong nahanap agad, but I found this place and Haniel loved it. Iyon ang balak kong ipakain sa kanya ngayon pero wala siya sa mood. I sighed. Sinamahan ko na siya sa sahig, hinawakan ko ang kamay niya tapos ay tiningnan siya nang mata sa mata.

"Anak, you can tell me what's happening. You're not okay and Mom is not happy seeing you like this. What's wrong anak?"

"Joshua and I aren't talking." It was almost a whisper. Napabuntong – hininga ako. "He didn't go to school on Monday and I was really worried, he was absent too on Tuesday and on Wednesday, he went to school but he's angry with me because he said that you and Uncle Gerry broke up because you don't love his dad..."

Hindi ako nagsasalita. Nakatingin lang ako kay Haniel. He really looked upset.

"Is that true, Mommy? You don't love Uncle Gerry? But I saw you kissing. Tita Avery and Daddy always kiss and they love each other, even Lolo Popsi and Lola Momsi, also si Mamita Mara and Papa Gabriel, they all love each other but why if you do it with Uncle Gerry, you don't love him? Sabi ni Joshua, ganoon daw ang sabi ng Tito Alberto niya, na hindi mo mahal si Uncle Gerry kaya hindi na kayo magkasama. Kaya hindi na rin kami friends, kasi sinaktan mo ang Papa niya, Nagalit ako, Mommy kasi sabi ni Joshua salbahe ka pero hindi naman totoo iyon.

Hindi ko alam kung anong sinabi ni Gerry sa mga kapatid niya para dumating sila sa konklusyon na hindi ko siya mahal. Malinaw at klaro kong binitiwan sa kanya noong huli kaming nag – usap nang araw na iyon na mahal ko siya, iyon nga lang mas pinipili ko ang sarili ko dahil sa tagal nang panahong ginugol ko para muli akong mabuo. Ayokong masaktan, ayokong maulit ang nangyari noon sa akin. Naiintindihan kong palaging mauuna sa kanya ang anak niya, that's his son, and that's one of the reasons why I fell for him too, because we understand each other, may mga anak kaming dalawa and we have this agreement that we will always put our kids first. Alam kong tulad ko kay Haniel ay ayaw niyang masasaktan rin si Joshua. I ruffled my son's hair.

"Sometimes, love, grown ups have misunderstandings, pero hindi ibig sabihin noon ay hindi na kami magiging maayos." I smiled at him. Mukhang hindi naman siya kumbinsido.

"You don't love him?"

"I do..." I kept that hollow smile in my face. He shouldn't be thinking about this things, napakabata pa niya – sabagay, kahit ilang taon na yata si Haniel ay bata pa rin ang tingin ko sa kanya whatever happens. "But not all love prospers anak."

"What does that mean, Mommy?" He asked me.

"Just... just... you'll understand at the right moment, but for now, kailangan muna nating kumain. Pizza?"

"Chicken wings." He finally said something about food. Natuwa naman ako.

"Then chicken wings it is. I'll order na lang ha. You finish your homework tapos you can play roblox until 10pm but dinner first okay?"

"Opo." I kissed the top of his head. Tumawag ako for food delivery pagkatapos ay nagpunta na ako sa kusina para iayos ang dining table. Habang ginagawa iyon ay lumilipad ang isipan ko. How did the brothers concluded that I don't love Gerry? Kahit ako ay nagulat sa realization na iyon, kaya nga sa ngayon ay nananahimik ako dahil iniisip ko ang mga bagay na nag-lead sa akin dito. I want to be with him but that only means being second only to his ex- wife. I can live with being only next to his son. I know that he will always prioritize him, pero ang hinding – hindi ko matatanggap ay si Alona. They don't have to have that kind of connection anymore, but there he is, palaging si Alona pa rin ang nauuna.

He could've called me. I shook my head. I took my phone again and dialed Uriel's number. It rang for three times and when he answered, I took a deep breath.

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Sigaw ko sa kanya.

"What did I do? I am only taking care of my kids here at home, Saina!" Defensive na wika niya.

"You cheated on me many times, I lost count, even when you're telling me you love me that I was your world, even when you're chasing me, even when I feel like we are okay, you seek for other women's attention and now it's so hard for me to trust other people!"

"Did I again answer the phone of the past?" Nagtatakang wika niya. I grumbled.

"Sana hindi masarap ang ulam mo!" I hissed at him. I ended the call. Hindi naman na ako dapat ganito. I should be confident, ang tagal – tagal kong nagsumikap para maging maayos ako pero hindi pa rin pala. I sighed. My phone rang, this time, it's my mother, sinagot ko agad ang tawag niya. Wala siyang ideya sa nangyayari sa akin ngayon, it's not like I can't tell her anything pero alam ko naman na masyado siyang maraming ginagawa para alalahanin pa ako. I'm a grown woman and I can deal with my problems.

"Yes, Ma?"

"How are you, anak?" She sounded so busy. "Uriel texted me saying that you needed someone to talk too." Sabi pa niya sa akin. Napabuntong – hininga na lang ako. Nagawa pa talaga niyang magsumbong sa nanay ko. Ang pangit ka-bonding ni Uriel.

"I'm fine, Ma... pero naisip ko na baka dapat kaming bumalik ni Haniel sa Italy." I said in such a low tone, na halos hindi yata marinig ni Mama kaya hindi siya kaagad nakapagsalita, but when she spoke, what she said left me speechless.

"Iiwanan mo na rin ako?"

"Ma..."

"Saina, you are my only child, Haniel is my only grandson, your father is in jail and he will rot there for a long time. Bakit iiwanan mo ako? Tayo na nga lang ang magkakasama tapos iiwanan mo rin ako..." Kinagat ko ang ibang labi ko to keep myself from crying. "Don't go back to Italy, if you need someone, I am here, Saina. Live with me, I want to see my grandson every day, anak, live with me."

"Ma..." Napaluha na ako. "Gerry... he will never be mine..."

"Then he's not the one for you, anak. You deserve someone who is willing to be yours, if that person will never be yours, then move on, it's hard, but you deserve the whole world, anak. There are too many men around you, even women – you swing that way too, diba?" There's amusement in my mother's voice. Hindi ko naiwasang matawa.

"Pakakainin ko po muna si Haniel." Wika ko sa kanya. "I love you, Ma. We will talk again." Sa pagkakataong iyon ay iniwanan ko na ang phone ko sa may table. I went to the living room to call him. But when I got there, wala si Haniel. Agad akong nagpunta sa silid niya pera wala rin siya roon. Wala rin siya sa silid ko at sa mga bathroom. Ikot ako nang ikot sa unit ko, I looked for him at the balcony, at the entertainment room, but he's not there.

Ang lakas bigla ng tibok ng puso ko. I went to the foyer to look for his shoes and when it's not there, nanghina ang tuhod ko.

Haniel... he left...

xxxx

"HANIEL... he left home..."

My tears kept falling, I couldn't even see the road anymore. Hilam na hilam ang mga mata ko ng luha. Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. I've been looking for my son for the last three hours and it's driving me crazy! Ang sabi ko, hahanapin ko si Haniel, he's a kid. Hindi siya makakalayo mula sa residential building kung saan kami nakatira. Maybe he was just in the park, or in the pool area. I even looked for him in the rooftop, thinking that he'd be there even though I told him countless times that he shouldn't go up there.

But he wasn't.

I asked our neighbors if they had seen him, but nobody did. Doon ng sobra – sobrang kumabog ang puso ko. I cannot lose my son. He is my sunshine, he is my better half and if I lose him, I'd go insane.

"WHAT THE HELL, SAINA?!" I gasped hard after hearing Uriel Consunji's voice on the other line. He is Haniel's father. We're not together. We used to have a complicated relationship, but now, we're friends and we are co-parenting. He's always there for Haniel, in every school activities, in ever milestones in our son's life, Uriel is involved. Ayoko nga sanang sabihin sa kanya ang nangyayari ngayon, pero hindi ko na kaya. Uriel needs to know, and I need his help. Kahit na magalit siya sa akin ngayon, kailangan ko ng tulong niya.

I sobbed harden when he raised his voice at me. Alam kong magagalit siya. Nawala ko iyong anak namin. Haniel is just a kid. What does he know about life? Nothing! He's only ten years old and he's so innocent! Oh my innocent baby boy, where could he be? It's six in the evening already and we usually have dinner this time of the night. Sure akong gutom na ang anak ko. Sure akong natatakot na siya. I pampered him so much, baka mamaya iyak nang iyak na si Haniel kung nasaan man siya ngayon.

"What the fuck happened, Saina? Where are you?!"

"At the parking lot near my unit. Uriel, anong gagawin ko? He must be very scared now."

"Ahh fuck!" I winced when Uriel cursed on the other line. "I will be there! Stay still, Saina." I was biting my lip. I ended the call and got out of the car. I was looking around, people are staring at me – probably because of the way I am now. Gulo – gulo ang buhok ko, tapos iyak pa ako nang iyak. I was only wearing my house dress, I don't even have the same pair of slippers.

I tried to think back of what happened earlier today. Haniel was playing with his toys in the living room. I was peeling soma apples for him. He seemed to be enjoying himself, nakatingin lang naman ako sa kanya, he seemed quiet, but to me, he looks normal, tahimik naman talaga si Haniel but he's a happy kid despite of his silence, and then my phone rang. Sinagot ko ang tawag na iyon. I told Haniel that I'll be at the balcony. I swear I closed the sliding door, but when I turned around, I found the sliding door ajar and Haniel nowhere to be found.

That was three hours ago, and now, I can't find my son.

I leaned on my car door. I was shaking. Where could he be?

"Baby, where are you?" I sobbed again. I looked around and I realized that I didn't even look at the park in front of our building. Ang lakas – lakas ng kabog ng puso ko. Naalala kong madalas niyang sabihin sa akin na gusto niya raw iyong mga monkey bars sa park na iyon. We go there every weekend morning to walk the dog and then I'll watch him play.

Dali – dali akong tumawid upang makapunta sa park na iyon. May kaunting liwanag pang natitira mula sa palubog na araw. I kept on crying while looking around. Where is he? Sana nandito na siya. All I could think about is finding Haniel and getting him back home to feed him, tuck him in bed and hug him all night. I want to make sure that he is safe.

As if it's not enough, it started raining. Lalong napalakas ang iyak ko. I need to find my son, asap!

I started to run. I stayed under a huge tree near the slide. I stood there, I crossed my arms while biting my lower lip.

"Haniel, baby, where are you?" I prayed hard for him to be okay, and maybe that's how fast my prayers are answered because not a moment later, I heard little sniffles. Nanggagaling iyon sa may slide. My heartbeat so fast – so fast that I could almost hear it. Ang bilis ng lakad ko. There is something familiar about those sniffles. I followed the sound and my heart melted when I saw my baby boy, under the long slide, crying while embracing himself.

He must be so cold.

"Haniel..." It was a whisper but it was loud enough for him to look up at me. He pouted and that pout turned to loud cries.

"Mommy!" He stood up, I walked to him, he embraced my waist. I enveloped him in my protective arms. I thanked all the angels above because I found my boy, and he's safe – wet, but safe and that's the most wonderful thing.

"Why did you leave our home? Baby, what happened?" Lumayo siya sa akin, I cupped his face and looked at him with so much worry. I am waiting for his answer.

"I don't want to go back to Italy." He sobbed. My heart broke. "I'm sorry, Mommy, but I don't want to go back to Italy. It's lonely there and I'm going to miss Papa, and Tita Avery and the twins. I don't want to leave..."

"Baby, why did you think of that?" Malumanay na wika ko. Sakto naman na huminto ang ulan. Nakaupo na kaming dalawa sa isa sa mga benches roon. Basa na kaming mag – ina, I don't mind, what's important is that I have my son now, and I am going to listen to whatever he wants to say.

"I heard you... it didn't work out with him, Mommy and now you want to leave."

Wala akong masabi. Haniel bit his lower lip.

"It's okay if I change schools, if I don't talk to my best friend anymore, Mommy, I just don't want to go back to Italy." Muli na naman siyang umiyak at yumakap sa akin. Tulad ni Haniel ay napaiyak na rin ako. He's too young to mind my problems – lalo na iyomh problema pagdating sa puso ko.

"Shhh, baby, stop, we're not going back to Italy, okay?"

"But... but... you said, on the phone..." His voice was muffled because he was crying so hard. I just sighed.

"No, baby... Mommy will do everything for you. I love you, if you don't want to go back, we won't and no you don't need to avoid your best friend or change schools. You don't need to deal with anything Mommy is dealing, anak. Okay? Okay?"

He continued crying, I did too.

It wasn't like this before, Haniel and I are completely happy, but as they say, change is the only constant thing in this world, and that change brought some good and bad things in our lives...

I just wished that I could go back to where we are happy. Although I know that we're going to be okay, pero baka matagalan pa, baka hindi ko pa kayanin, pero kakayanin ko para kay Haniel...

xxxx

Gerarado Birada's

"OKAY ka lang?"

Hindi ko alam kung ilang beses na akong tinatanong ni Andres ngayong araw na ito, pero iisa lang naman ang sagot ko sa kanya. Okay lang naman ako. Hindi ako malungkot pero hindi rin ako masaya. Hindi ko alam kung sasaya pa ako, kaya nga pinipilit ko na lang libangin ang sarili ko ngayon.

It's a Thursday night and usually, Joshua and I spent it at home, just the two of us, nito nga lang naiba kasi nitong mga nakaraang linggo, kapag Thursday ay kasama naming dalawa sina Saina at Haniel, kung hind isa bahay namin ay sa bahay ni Saina, it's either we watch the kids play or we watch a movie with the kids, then we'll cuddle in bed, although all I wanted to do is make love to her every time we're on bed – hindi dahil sa malibog ako – it's just that when I thought that words aren't enough to express how happy I am that she chose to spend the evening with me – I want to show her how grateful I am to her.

But that's not the case now. Ayaw niya akong kausapan. I tried calling her, but she changed her number, nagpunta ako sa office niya pero sabi sa akin ni Ramona ay nag-leave si Saina at ayaw makipa-usap kahit kanina and that if I still have any respect for Saina, hahayaan ko muna siya sa ngayon. I sighed, napakahirap noon, pakiramdam ko habang tumatagal na hindi ko siya nakakausap at nalalapitan ay lalo siyang lumalayo sa akin.

Alam ko naman kung saan ako nagkamali. Alam ko namang may kasalanan ako, hind inga lang ako nakapagsalita dahil na-overwhelmed ako sa galit ni Saina sa akin. Naiintindihan kong nag – aalala siya sa akin, tapos sinabi niyang mahal niya ako, lalong hindi sko nakapagsalita. That;s not how I wished to hear those words, hindi habang galit siya at umiiyak dahil sa akin.

"Gerry, huy..." Tinapik ni Andres ang balikat ko. I looked at the people around the table, naroon si Andres, si Jestoni, si Adi at ang asawa niya. Nasa bahay kami ni Mama, mula nang makabalik ako galing sa pinakamalas na gabing iyon ay hindi na kami muna umuwi ni Joshua sa bahay naming dalawa.

Alona is being taken care by her mom, malinaw na sinabi ng doctor na maayos si Alona kaya lang kailangan niyang magpahinga dahil naging mahirap para sa dati kong asawa ang naging operasyon sa kanya. She's trying to make it up to our son, nakikita ko namang unti- unting binubuksan ni Joshua ang sarili niya sa nanay niya and I am proud of my son.

"Hindi pa rin ba kayo nag-uusap noong jowa mo?" Tanong ni Jestoni sa akin.

Umiling ako. Napatingin ako sa mag-asawa. Lalo kong na-miss si Saina. Nakasandal si Annie kay Adi, Adi was feeding her chicken wings – na si Mama ang nagluto. Parang nauubos na nga ni Anne iyong nasa plato, hindi ko na matandaan kung ilang serving na ang nilagay ni Andres doonm, pero mukhang masayang – masaya si Anne habang paulit – ulit sinusubuan ni Adriano.

Hindi kami nakarating ni Saina sa ganyang stage. We were always eating with the kids and I think nahihiya pa siyang ipakita sa mga bat ana naglalambing siya sa akin o ako sa kanya. Pero kapag kaming dalawa ay talagang napakalambing niya.

I miss her. Galit pa kaya siya sa akin.

"Luh!" Biglang nagsalita si Anne. Lahat tuloy kami ay napatingin sa kanya.

"What's wrong, love?" Mukhang nag – alala rin si Adi.

"Nag-text si Barang, nawawala si Haniel!" Napatayo ako.

"Ano raw nangyari?" Nag-aalalang tanong ko.

"Hindi ko pa alam, pero papunta na si Kuya Uriel doon. Iyak nang iyak si Momsi, baka raw napano na iyong apo niyang iyon. Wait, tatawagan ko muna si Barang!"

Umalis ako mula sa dining area at kinuha agad ang susi ng kotse ko. Tinawag ako ni Andres pero hindi naman ako bumalik para makipag -usap sa kanya. Nag-aalala ako para kay Haniel, sigurado akong hindi mapakali si Saina ngayon. Nawawala ang anak niya, alam ko kung gaano niya kamahal ang bata, I need to find him, I don't know where, I don't know how, but I need to find him and bring him back to his mother.

The first thing I did is drive to their residential building. Hindi ako magkamayaw, ang lakas – lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko. Saan naman pupunta si Haniel gayong mag-gagabi na at umuulan pa? Iniisip ko kung paano ngayon si Saina, sigurado kong umiiyak na siya ngayon. I parked my car and got out of it, Balak kong puntahan siya sa unit niya sa 15th floor pero mas maganda sigurong hanapin ko muna ang bata, pero saan ako magsisimula?

Suddenly, I remembered Joshua saying that they really love the ice cream in that ice cream shop just a few blocks away from the building, doon ako nagpunta, I asked the middles aged man behind the counter – may nameplate siya and in it, his name was there – Yckos. I asked for Haniel's description, natatandaan naman raw niya pero hindi raw nagpunta ang bata sa shop kasama ang Mama nito. I thanked him and then I proceeded on looking for the boy.

Nagsisimula nang umambon. Nagmamadali naman akong maglakad – lakad para makapunta agad sa kabilang daan sa park, nananalangin akong sana ay naroon si Haniel para maiuwi na siya sa Mama niya. Saina might be dying of stress now. Naiisip ko ang malugkot niyang mukha, iyong mga luhang umaagos sa pisngi niya, I saw the pain in her eyes and immediately, I wanted to pull the hands of time. I need to see the boy and take him home to his mom.

Nakalipat naman agad ako sa park, kahit umuulan na ay hindi ako tumigil sa paghahanap. I need to find him. Saina she... she...

I stopped on my tracks when I saw two familiar figures running towards a black car on the sidewalk.

It's her and Haniel. She found him and they were running towards Uriel. Niyakap ni Uriel ang bata tapos ay agad na sinuotan ng jacket, ganoon rin ang ginawa niya kay Saina. Nakatayo lang ako roon, pinanonood sila. Bigla akong nahiya sa sarili ko, bakit ba kasi nandito ako? Saina has made it clear that she doesn't need me. All I wanted at that moment was to let her know how much I want to be with her, how the thought if her made me want to survive that unlucky night... pero tulad nga ng sinabi ni Rai sa akin noon ay hindi siya handang makipag – usap. I know that she has her own issues, I have my own, but I miss her.

I turned my back, walked away, planning to drown myself from all these uncertainties and sadness I am feeling. Kailan kaya ako kakausapin ulit ni Saina at kung kakausapin niya ako, magiging okay pa ba kami o usap – closure na lang? I don't want the latter to happen. I want us I each other's lives.

Someone suddenly grabbed my arm, I looked back, I was ready to fight but I saw Uriel. Napakunot ang noo ko.

"She won't get down the car to call you. She's that prideful. She told me to do whatever the fuck I want, so here I am."

"What?"

"I'll be taking Haniel home. Mag-uusap kaming mag-ama. I guess it's time for you two to talk."

"She's not ready..."

Uriel chuckled. "One thing about Saina, Birada is that even when she's saying she's not ready, she is always ready. Keep that in mind."

Binitiwan ako ni Uriel at iniwan roon. I watch them as he drives the car away. Sinunod ko naman ang instinct ko, sumunod ako sa kanila.

I watched as he drop Saina off, natagalan pa nga si Saina sa loob ng kotse ni Uriel, siguro nagpapaalamanan silang mag – ina. Bumaba si Saina, bumili ang tibok ng puso ko. Nasa gilid lang ako ng building, pero hindi niya ako tinitingnan, is she even aware?

Nagpalipas ako ng 15 mins bago ako pumasok sa loob, I rode the elevator, and finally, I reached for her floor. I stood outside her door, shaking. My nerves are bothering me, kakatok ba ako o uuwi na lang?

Hindi ko alam kung gaano ako katagal doon, pero matagal, akmang kakatok pa lang ako nang bumukas ang pinto, sinalubong ako ng nakataas na kilay ni Saina. Nakahalukipkip siya, suot pa rin niya ang jacket na inilagay ni Uriel sa kanya.

"How long are you going to just fucking stand there?!" Angil niya sa akin. I guess Uriel was right, even when she said she's not ready, she is ready.

"Can- can we...talk..."

"We're already talking, idiot." Inis na sagot niya. "You talk, I'll decide if I'll let you in after." She said to me. Napatango na lang ako. Ano nga bang sasabihin ko sa kanya? That I want her? That I love her? Will that be enough? Ang dami – dami kong gustong sabihin, ang daming tumatakbo sa utak ko ngayon, pero isa lang ang lumabas sa bibig ko.

"I just want you to know that when I picture myself happy, it is with you."

I fucked up. I know I did. Hindi iyon ang inaasahan niyang sasabihin ko. I know that I lost my chance. I know... Saina looked at her right side, nakahalukipkip pa rin siya, I noticed that she was taking in a deep breath. Paaalisin niya ako. As she should, wala namang kwenta ang sinasabi ko.

But to my surprise, Saina launched herself on me.

Napakabilis ng mga pangyayari, one moment, she was standing near the door, and then the next is her legs are around my waist, she was cupping my face, looking straight on my eyes.

"I am taking this chance for once, we need to work it out, Gerry, you know that. I don't want to get hurt again. I have issues that you are very well aware of, but, but... I am taking the risk so you better fucking take care of me." She sobbed. I looked at her so gently. I caressed her hair.

"I love you, Saina and I plan to take care of you for a long time." She nodded at me. Saina wrapped her arms around my nape and she buried her face on the crook of my neck. I miss her – so much. I hugged her back and I started to walk us inside her home. We settled in the couch – still in that position.

"Why did Haniel left?" I broke the silence.

"Thought we're going back to Italy." She answered in a muffled voice. I felt my whole body stiffened. "But we're not so you can calm down." Tumingin siya sa akin at hinaplos ang mukha ko.

"Uriel told me everything in the car a while back. Why didn't you say something..."

"How can I?" I asked back. Napabuntong – hininga siya.

"I'm sorry, kapag galit ako hindi ako nakakapag – isip nang maayos."

"I'm not blaming you. I think it's sweet that you were worried about me being alone and hurt somewhere but you have to know that I will never do that to you, I will never cheat on you, I will never be under someone's beck and call except for you. Ikaw ang gusto kong makasama, okay? I will never ever choose someone because there's no other choice but you and Haniel."

Again, Saina buried her face on my neck.

"I'm sorry, you must have been so scared that night."

"I was, but the thought of you waiting for me was enough to kept me going. Hindi lang ako nakabalik dahil nabaril si Alona, I didn't want to leave the hospital without good news for my son." Naramdaman kong tumango siya.

"I hope she's okay now."

"She is... she's with her mom. Araw – araw siyang tinatawagan ni Joshua. Joshua is missing you."

"Did you know that the kids had a fight? She informed me. Napakunot ang noo ko. "A certain Tito Albert told Joshua that I don't love you and Joshua got so upset, nag-away sila ni Haniel."

"I never told anyone you didn't love me. I was overwhelmed with the fact that you do."

"Ako rin naman..." She giggled. Finally, she let me see her face. She kissed the tip of my nose. "I love you, I don't know when it started but I guess it was when I didn't see you as a nayapakang chewing gum na." Natawa pa siya sa sinabi niya. Napailing naman ako.

"Are we done making up now?"

"Yep! We're okay now. I don't want you telling me any promises. Let's just make this work." Sabi niya sa akin. Realistic si Saina, alam niyang lahat ng pangako ay may tendency na hindi matupad, pareho kaming dalawa ng paniniwala. I smiled at her and kissed her cheek.

"We will make this work."

"Yes."

"Now, can we go have some make up sex?" I winked at her. Saina grinned.

"Bedroom or couch?"

"I missed you so much, we need to get to the bedroom, I might be hard on you."

Saina looked at me with this sensual expression in her eyes.

"I love it when you do me hard, Daddy." Nilandian niya pa ang boses niya. I groaned and carried her to her bedroom.

Oh this is gonna be a long – long night for the two of us.