"What the actual fuck was that?" Dylan yelled as Addison drew closer to him. "Are you insane?"

"I told you to stop the car." Addison snapped walking past Dylan and fumbling in her pocket for her keys.

"You are insane." Dylan said as he followed Addison into the house.

"Dylan just go away, you've driven me home so you can just go home now." Addison said as she made her way into the kitchen and threw her bag down.

"I'm not leaving until we've talked Addi." Dylan said firmly. He was such a suborn asshole...

"Fine then, settle yourself in for the night" Addison with a voice full of bite. She walked over the coffee machine and switched it on into life. She made herself and Dylan a coffee even though Dylan hadn't asked for one. Addison really wasn't sure why she did it. She slid the mug towards Dylan without a word then walked out the kitchen. She was not remotely surprised to hear Dylan following her.

"Ok seriously, what the fuck is going on with you?" Dylan called as he followed Addison up the stairs towards Addison's bedroom. "You act like you can't stand me half the time then other times it's like we're...like we're...friends or whatever. You ignore me for days but will happily talk to Niamh about even the most trivial of things and I'm just so fucking tired of not know where the hell we stand with one another"

By this time they had reached Addison's bedroom which Dylan had never actually stepped foot in. Addison wasn't too fussed what Dylan thought of her room which was littered with art supplies, albums, clothes and books.

"Addi...Addi can we please just...just..."

"Can we please just what Dylan?" Addison asked. "What exactly do you want from me?"

"Can we just talk? I don't understand what's going on because really you're like a completely different person half the time and I really don't get it." Dylan said. "You're round our house and acting like you don't have a care in the world then the next moment you're blanking me, acting like a total bitch and trying to be more badass than you are."

"Oh really?" Addison asked with a voice dripping in sarcasm.

"Yes so shut the fuck up and stop being so damn sarcastic for once." Dylan snapped. "Why can't you just tell me what is going on and why you're acting like this?" Dylan asked as the anger from his voice ebbed away.

"Dylan you really wouldn't understand." Addison said.

"How would you know that I wouldn't understand if you don't just tell me?" Dylan asked. He didn't sound remotely angry, he just sounded concerned which made what he said even more difficult for Addison to hear.

"Because most people don't understand, ok? Apart from maybe Brigid and Aaron no one really understands. Don't pretend that you would be any different because you wouldn't be." Addison said turning away so she wouldn't have to look at Dylan's open and questioning face anymore. Dylan sighed loudly and reached out for Addison's wrist to make her turn back round. Addison ripped her wrist from Dylan's hand and felt her breath hitch.

"Why don't you just tell me? Like, what was all the stuff with your mother?"

"Please don't ask me about my mother." Addison said quickly. "I don't like talking about her."

"I get it ok? My dad isn't around anymore so I know what it's like to lose a parent."

"I didn't lose her, I know exactly where she went when she just upped and left us." Addison said. She hadn't meant to let that out, her anger had gotten the better of her yet again. "Why can't you just leave me alone Dylan?" Addison asked, her voice cracking. Dylan took a step backwards, his eyes widening at the sadness in Addison's voice.

"Because I'm not just going to leave you here alone. I care about you too much to do that. Because even though you're a total cow, I might actually think of us as friends and I do care about you." Dylan snapped back just a fiercely. "Why can't you just fucking see that already? Are you blind or something?"

"Dylan you just don't understand ok? You couldn't understand!"

"Fucking hell Addi! Make me understand then!" Dylan yelled. "Make me fucking understand!" Addison stood her ground despite Dylan's yells, her breath now shallow as Dylan continued to glare at her with a look of pure and desperate fury.

"Dylan-"

"Make me understand Addi. Make me." Dylan said his voice breaking on the last two words which sent a jolt of pain through Addison's stomach.

"Why?" Addison asked, her hands and voice shaking.

Dylan's look had changed from that of fury to that of imploring need. "Because...I think...I think that I'm..." Addison quickly shook her head to stop him from talking.

"Don't." She said, her voice cracking.

"Addison, I think that I'm fall-"

"Wait, before you say anything else you need to see something." Addison said.

With a small and strangled sigh Addison braced herself for a moment before she slowly rolled up the shelves of her hoodie. The pale scars that marked her skin seemed to be so prominent now that Addison was showing them to Dylan. Her heart actually hammered against her chest because these weren't just small scars from falling off a bike when she was seven or something like that. The scars were remnants from a period of Addison's life that she despised with every fibre of her being. The scars showed Dylan that Addison was a broken person that hadn't been able to cope with an illness that slowly infected her mind and very nearly ruined her life.

"Addi..." Dylan breathed out as he stared at the ghostly pale scars that feathered across Addison's arm. Addison had been so determined on looking at Dylan's face for signs of revulsion that she hadn't noticed that Dylan had moved closer to her until she felt the cool touch of Dylan's fingers on her skin. With a shaky exhale she looked down to see Dylan's fingers, which were slightly trembling, placed ever so gently on Addison's skin.

Dylan's fingers ran feather light touches along Addison's arm; the feel of Dylan's fingers on her skin caused an eruption of goose bumps along her arms and a desperate need for intimacy pooled deep within Addison's chest. It had been so long since someone had touched her like that, Addison almost craved for the cool touch of Dylan's fingers along her skin.

Dylan would stop every now and then to run a finger along the white lines of scars that littered Addison's arm like a road map until he came to the most prominent one that ran down Addison's wrist. It was violently white, slightly raised, and it was one of the main reasons why Addison wore long sleeves all of the time. Dylan stopped and rested two fingers on the scar; his breathing became heavy and he looked up at Addison with searching eyes.

"What did you do? How did it happen?" Dylan asked quietly. Addison looked away and wanted to rip her wrist away from Dylan's touch but she felt a hand enclose around her wrist. She looked down to see Dylan gently holding on, anchoring Addison so she would not run. "Addi?" Dylan asked in a quiet and gentle voice that still managed to resonate deep within Addison's body. "Talk to me...please" Dylan beseeched with a hoarse voice.

"I...it...Dylan please..." Addison tried to say but her words, the thoughts jumbled up in her brain, wouldn't come out. "I can't...I can't talk about it." She stuttered. She wanted to, God she wanted to tell Dylan everything so badly just so she would feel less heavy, but Dylan might run. He might realise that Addison was just too broken for him to be around and Addison would lose him completely. She would lose the friendship that she'd been trying so hard to push away and deep down that wasn't what she wanted at all. . "You...you might run" Addison nearly whispered.

"I'm not going anywhere Addi." Dylan said. "Ok? I'm not going anywhere. I think I'm falling for you."

"Please don't say that if you don't mean it." Addison said almost pleadingly. People had said it to her in the past and they hadn't meant it, if they had meant it then they wouldn't have left her. "No one ever means it. They say it to get what they want but they never mean it."

"Jesus Christ, you really can't see it can you? Do you just see yourself as a body? As some pretty girl who is some prize to be won? You're not a conquest and you don't have to see yourself like that. I don't."

"How? How can you not see me like that? How come you are the only person who doesn't?"

"Because I can see through all your bullshit. The attitude, I see through it. I get it, ok? You're fucked up but that doesn't mean you're just some empty shell. Why won't you just let me in? Why Addison? Why?"

"Because you could just use me. You'll just use me like everyone else and then you'll leave. The only thing people are ever good for is leaving."

"Have I ever given you any reason to think I'm using you? If I was just in it to use you do you think I'd put up with how you treat me? How one minute you smile at me and the next you're blanking me? Have I given you a reason?"

"No! No but..."

"But what? But what Addison?"

"It's all I'm used to ok? I don't know how to let someone in without being terrified that they're going to get sick of me! Get sick of me then just go."

"That's not going to happen with me Addison, I'm not going to run out on you." Dylan said, his hands holding on tightly to Addison's.

"It was a kitchen knife. The scar. I got it with a kitchen knife." Addison stuttered out in a small voice. "It was such a cliché really. I didn't mean...I got carried away. My brother found me and called an ambulance." Addison explained as she closed her eyes and briefly remembered hearing Aaron's panicked yells to Eric when he had found Addison dipping in and out of consciousness. Her wrists raw and bloody. She hadn't meant to cut so deep, she hadn't meant for the blood to flow so freely. She had had just gotten carried away with the feeling of escape that had run through her when the cold steel had met her flesh. It wasn't a cry for attention, which was what Eric had said, it was just...Addison was just trying to escape and yet no one seemed to understand that apart from Brigid. She was the one that had made her feel less hopeless and Addison wasn't sure what she would have done without her.

Addison opened her eyes when she felt a thumb slowly run over the scar. Dylan was looking down at Addison's slender wrist not with disgust or pity like others but with a composed look, it was almost as if he was simply observing the change in colour of where the pale scar ran down Addison's wrist clashing with the tanned skin.

"How long has it been...since you last did this?" Dylan asked running his thumb over the scar again. Addison's heart began to race with nervous terror. This was dangerous territory; outside of therapy Addison only ever spoke to Brigid about this and that was only because she had been her best friend since she was five years old and she had moved in the house across the street with her parents. Addison never talked about this to anyone but Brigid and her family knew better than to bring it up in any conversation. "Addi...please tell me...I...I don't want to worry about you." Dylan said.

"I don't want you to worry about me."

"Yeah well I'm going to. That's what happens when you care about someone." Dylan said pointedly and a flush of warmth slowly crept up Addison's neck. This wasn't right, Addison was supposed to be cold towards nearly everyone and carry on through life until it ended. She wasn't supposed to have someone truly care about what happened to her.

"I'm not a good friend. I'm not a good person." Addison almost whispered and hating how his voice caught on the last word. Dylan's brow furrowed as he shook his head, clearly disagreeing with what Addison was saying. "I won't be a very good friend either...I fuck things up too much Dylan. I fuck everything up in the end and there's nothing I can do about it."

"You seem to be a good friend to Niamh at the moment, I mean...you're a good friend Addi. I just worry about you, that's all." Dylan said and once again his fingers traced along the small scars on Addison's wrist. "I worry about you." He added as his voice dipped until it was nothing more than a hoarse whisper very much like Addison's. Every single thought in Addison's head was telling her that she needed to get out of the room; she needed to be as far away from Dylan as possible because all Addison wanted to do was kiss Dylan on the lips as hard as she could and never let him go. Dylan cared about her, he cared for Addison and made her feel so damn alive it was terrifying.