Addison sipped from a large mug of coffee that Eleanor had just poured for her. She watched as Dylan teased Leo over something before Leo grumbled loudly. Addison tried to stop but after last night it was becoming increasingly difficult to not watch Dylan.

Don't leave. Dylan had asked her not to leave the night before. The sound of his voice, gruff but tender with sleep was as loud as a gunshot in Addison's head. She needed to leave, she had to leave because someone would end up getting hurt. That's how it always ended before and that's how it would end now, there was no other way it could possibly end.

"Dylan! That's my Pop Tart you bitch!" Leo snapped punching his brother on the arm and pulling Addison out of her thoughts.

"Dylan, please leave your poor brother alone." Eleanor said with a sigh. "If you want to be useful you can take this rubbish outside."

"It's Leo's turn." Dylan said ruffling his brother's hair.

"Dylan get off!" Leo cried.

"Stop pouting Leo and take the rubbish out." Dylan said with a huge smirk spread across his face. Leo grumbled loudly again as he stomped outside with a full bag of rubbish.

"Nice of you to join the land if the living." Dylan smirked as Niamh slumped into a kitchen chair and practically clawed at the coffee pot. "What no witty comeback?"

"It's too early to point out you're more of a buzzkill than a dementor." Niamh grumbled filling up her mug with coffee.

"Ouch, that hurt." Dylan said sarcastically.

"Good, it was meant to." Niamh shot back as she yawned loudly.

"Well, that's what you get for staying up most of the night watching lame TV shows."

"That's rich coming from the person who cried when they cancelled Firefly." Niamh said smirking while Dylan glared at her.

"We don't mention that injustice." Dylan muttered darkly taking the last Pop Tart off Leo's plate. Dylan offered a grin at Addison who returned it weakly.

Everything about being at the Willis's was different than when she was at home. Breakfast on a weekend wasn't a silent affair filled with awkward silence and dark looks over black coffee. Niamh, Leo and Dylan's sibling fights wouldn't end up with needing riot police if they were left to escalate and, unlike at the Harper household, they were always overjoyed to see Addison no matter what. It had taken some time to get used to and the fact that she was getting used to it made Addison uneasy. When things were good that usually meant that someone would get up and leave. Her childhood had been a good one then her mother left, her teen years had been less than perfect but she had pushed through and done well until she had started to feel her passion for everything slowly leave her. She couldn't let herself become reliant on the feelings the Willis's gave her because that too would soon be gone. That was the only thing Addison had ever known.

Don't leave.

You stayed.

Dylan was becoming reliant on Addison and that wasn't fair on either of them. Addison had a tendency to run when things became too difficult. She shut down and just ran because that was easier than dealing with the clusterfuck around her. Dylan was a good person, a better person than her, Addison thought. He deserved so much more than Addison could give him. He deserved someone that would be there, someone that wouldn't run.

Dylan deserved someone who wasn't completely broken.

"I best get going; I have coursework that I've been neglecting recently." Addison said quickly rising from the kitchen table. This was the truth, she had nearly a month's worth of Film Studies work she needed to do but if she was being perfectly honest she knew the only thing she'd work on would be her art portfolio. Eleanor and Niamh looked up in surprised but Dylan's face clouded with doubt. "Thank you so much for having me again Eleanor."

"Its fine Addison, you know you're welcome over here anytime you want." Eleanor said as Addison gave her a polite smile and hurried out the kitchen.

"Addi! Addi, wait up!" Dylan called hurrying after her. "What's up? Are you ok?" he asked with a worried look on his face. That look only made Addison feel even guiltier. She'd allowed herself to become friends with Dylan...become more if she wanted to and God how she wanted that now that she was finally admitting it to herself.

"Yeah, I just have to get back home. I have work to do and then I'm meeting up with Brigid and Lisa at Bowen's this afternoon." Addison said trying to brush Dylan off.

"Oh, are you two going to be playing matchmaker again with Brigid and Brett?" Dylan asked clearly trying to lighten the air that had started to feel heavy.

"Hardly." Addison shot back. Dylan's eyebrows rose at Addison's tone and an affronted look fell across his face. "Dylan I have to go." Addison said more firmly.

"Addi, what's going on?" Dylan asked placing a hand on Addison's arm, more importantly on her wrist. Dylan's fingers were wrapped around her wrist, ghosting over the scars that Dylan wouldn't know were there.

The sense of heat radiated from the touch, sending warmth up Addison's arm and even to the pit of her stomach. Addison looked down at the hand, feeling the heat from Dylan's skin even through her jumper sleeve. Just seeing Dylan's strong and capable hand wrapped around her wrist made Addison's mouth dray and she hated herself for it.

"Look Addi...Lisa told me...well she told me that you have this thing with blocking people-" Dylan started to mumble. Instantly the heat was gone, drained away from Addison body as if someone had taken a block of ice to her chest.

"Lisa doesn't know what she is talking about and I prefer it if you didn't talk about me behind my back or drag my friends into your gossiping session." Addison said as her heartbeat began to quicken. Lisa didn't know much about Addison, certainly not the stuff Brigid knew, but she knew enough. She knew enough to make Dylan see just how shitty of a person Addison's was.

"Gossiping?" Dylan snapped. "I wasn't gossiping Addi! I was just worried about you after Molly's party...well before Molly's party actually and I wanted to know-"

"You have no right to be worried Dylan." Addison shot back. Dylan's face darkened as he pursed his lips. Addison tried to stop feeling guilty about making Dylan look like that but that was easier said than done. Just knowing she was infuriating Dylan made Addison feel exasperated with both her and with Dylan. Dylan had no real right to feel or at least look so damn annoyed so why was he?

"So we're back there again? We're back to how we were the other week? When are you just going to fucking admit that we are friends and that you don't have to close me off over everything little fucking thing?" Dylan asked, his voice laced with annoyance.

"I am not having this conversation with you in the middle of your hallway Dylan; please just let me go home." Addison hissed back pulling his arm out of Dylan's grasp and opening the front door. "Please thank your mother again for having me." Addison said.

"Addison! Addison just wait up!" Dylan called out as Addison marched out the house.

"Why? Why should I?" Addison asked.

"Please don't leave." Dylan begged, his face full of hurt.

"You should know something Dylan, leaving is the only thing I know how to do. It's the only thing I know. It's the only thing I'm good at." Addison said as she turned away from Dylan and started walking down the road. Her eyes stung with tears as she tried, and failed, to push the image of Dylan's stricken face from her mind.

---

"Addison?" Brigid said with a baffled look on her face when she opened the door to see Addison standing there. "I thought we were meeting Lisa at three? You're two hours early...is anything ok?" Brigid asked ushering Addison into her hallway.

"No, no it's not." Addison admitted and she watched as Brigid's face broke into that of pure concern and love because she never admitted when she wasn't feeling ok. For her to admit it to Brigid it had to be big. Without saying another word Brigid pulled her into a hug and guided her upstairs.

"Tell me what's happened, it's to do with last night and Dylan isn't it?" Brigid asked. Addison nodded. "What's going on?"

"I can't be friends with Dylan...I just can't Brigid. I can't be around...I can't do any of it. I can't." Addison said as her eyes began to sting with tears. She hadn't cried for a long time.

"Oh, Addison..." Brigid said as she pulled her friend into another tight hug. "You're just having a bad day. You and Dylan-"

"No Brigid...I mean it. I can't be friends with him." Addison said between her tears. "There's too much good in him and he's just so fucking loyal, almost to a fault. I'm a shitty person and when I up and run it's going to break something in him. I don't want to break someone so much that they turn into me." Addison explained.

"Oh Addison-"

"No Brigid. I should have just told him that first day that we met, I should have told him that we couldn't be friends but instead, I let him in and let us become...become whatever we are...were...whatever we were. I did this and it's all my fault."

"It's not your fault for God's sake! Why do you always act like this? Why can't you see that you are a good person and that you deserve people around you? Look at Niamh, look at Lisa...Christ, look at me! I've been there from the very beginning and I'm still here. Would you really be that much of a terrible person if I were still here? I'm still here Addison and I'm not going anywhere because you're my best friend...you're my best friend ok and I'm not going to let you beat yourself up over this."

"So what the hell am I going to do?" Addison asked flopping down onto Brigid's bed.

"Talk to Dylan?" Brigid offered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Already tried that." Addison said.

"Did you give him the 'I'm not a good person' speech?"

"No...I snapped at him and told him that he had no right to worry about me."

"I hate that fucking speech." Brigid muttered shaking her head. "You're an idiot." She added with a snap. "You're a fucking idiot."

Addison sighed with frustration as she asked "Because I told him that he had no right to worry about me?"

"Yes but I suppose some good has come out of this because at least you're admitting that you like him."

"I'm not admitting shit Brigid." Addison shot back. Brigid just pursed her lips in a perfect impression of her and stared Addison down until she felt her face redden. "I'm still not admitting anything." She added.

"You are such a child sometimes." Brigid muttered rolling her eyes. "Why can't you just accept that you like Dylan then work out some clinched hare-brained scheme to get him to notice you in the style of a terrible film from the nineties?" she asked

"I really do worry about you sometimes."

"Answer the question Harper."

"Which question was that?" Addison asked feigning innocence.

"Oh for God sake....why can't you just accept that you and Dylan are friends?"

"Because we're not."

"Bullshit! You care about him enough to push him away! Either you're trying to replace me and have Dylan as your best friend or you like him! You push away all the people who you love. That is just what you do, so this proves you and Dylan are some weird form of friends!" Brigid said. "The sooner you admit it the better because it's starting to get really old. You might even feel better about it all in the end."