TW: SH, underage smoking

CHAPTER ONE:

"how'd you get in here"

while the harmon family were on their drive to california esme had blocked their conversations out.

hi i'm esme harmon, i go by essie or ess. i'm a hard to deal with kinda gal. a lot of people would say i'm more on the insensitive, lonesome, depressed type. i don't really like people, i'm very antisocial after the worst night of my life. but i don't think we should take a deep dive on that at the moment. but a lot of people think the harmons are a perfect happy little family, money, mom and dad, daughter, a charity case and a dog. although that's not true. i would say we're more, dejected, and boring. i mean for instance, ben had an affair with his student, vivien walked in on it, violet is unexplainable and me. well you already know.

"alright girls we're here." ben said pulling up to the house. as they had all gotten out of the car, esmes red converse hit the pavement of the driveway. "yeah, it's— it's interesting." violet said with a snort. "great." ben said after ringing the doorbell. "so we're the addams family now." esme said folding her arms over her chest.

"hey! crabby pants' come here." ben said to the two girls. "what are you doing?" viv asked the girls. "isn't this place amazing? hmm." ben said putting his arm around his daughter. esme never really felt included in this family. but it was better than being with a foster family.

the hinges to the door creaked catching the fours attention. "welcome." a women in blue said with a smile. "it's a classic L. A. victorian, built around 1920 by the doctor in the stars at the time. it's just fabulous. these are real tiffany fixtures. as you can see, the previous owners really loved this place like a child. they restored everything." the women explained.

"gay?" vivien asked. "what do you think?" the older women replied raising her eyebrows at the comment. "tiffany, wow." ben whispered to the two teen girls, before bumping his shoulder against violets which collided with esmes. violet looked over at esme with a slight smile before rolling her eyes.

"do you cook?" the older women asked. "viv is a great cook. i got her cooking lessons a few years ago, and she ended up teaching the teacher a few things." ben replied. "cooking lessons. romantic." she commented, "aren't you a psychologist?" she asked yet another question.

"psychiatrist." ben corrected, "you said something on the phone about there being a study that i could use as a home office?" he asked. "i'm planning on seeing patients here so i can spend more time with my family." he said in this calm voice. esme rolled her eyes in annoyance.

her uncle and her haven't really gotten along ever since the affair he had on his wife. viv never likes the idea of esme moving in with them. viv gave her the cold shoulder, she always said how esme would corrupt their daughter, make her suicidal herself. but esme would never suggest that to someone. after she found out violet was cutting herself she tried to stop her. although esme did it too, esme would either cut herself which was rare she didn't like it much, or she'd get high on pills, but the one she did often would burn herself with a lighter. it was a different type of pain. but esme hadn't really liked viv from the beginning because she made it out as if esme was a killer.

the dog barking took esme out of her thoughts. "violet, honey, would you go see where hallie went?" viv commented, violet grabbed esmes hand taking her with. "thank you." viv told the girls.

"what are you yapping at?" violet asked her dog. violet opened the basement door. "come with." she motioned for esme to join. and so she did. the two girls looked around. esme ran her fingers along the cold brick walls. he fingers tingled at the sudden coldness against the tips. "come on ess." violet said heading back upstairs. esme just nodded but she had a feeling. a really bad feeling about this place. she felt like she had been here before.

esme finally followed violet back upstairs. "when i saw the pictures of this room online, i thought maybe you could use it as your music room." ben said to vivien. "are you a musician?" the women asked, "i was." vivien replied "cellist. very good one, in fact. my niece over there esme she writes songs. someday i think she'll become someone big." ben said smiling at his niece.

she didn't really talk much at least not infront of ben and vivien. around violet when it's just them, or a friend she would but she wasn't a person to talk around people she wasn't fond of. so with that she just sent him a nod with a fake smile. it quickly fell. "why did you quit?" the women asked viv cutting the tension.

"this wallpaper is peeling over here." viv avoided the question. "looks like maybe there's a mural underneath it." she said picking it off. "the last owners probably covered it up. they were modernists. speaking of the last owners, full disclosure requires that i tell you about what happened to them."

"oh, god. they didn't die in here or anything, did they?" vivien asked, "yes, actually. both of them. murder-suicide. i sold them the house too. they were just the sweetest couple. you never know, i guess." the women explained. "that explains why it's half the price of every other house in the neighborhood, i guess." ben replied.

"i do have a very nice mid-century ranch, but it's in the valley, and you're going to get a third of the house for twice the price."

"great. where'd it happen?" violet spoke up. "the basement." the women in blue simply said. esme had chills send down her back, along with the hair on her neck stand up. she looked behind her, but nothing was there. "we'll take it." esme finally spoke up. violet bumped her shoulder against esmes with a smirk, while viv and ben looked back at the two as if they were crazy.

🪞

while esme was unpacking she grabbed a pair of scissors off of her bed. she took the scissors to the tape and opened the box. she had lived in california before. she didn't like it very much. she grew up here actually. she always got bullied, for being different. especially when her dad left when she was eight.

as she reach into the box she pulled out a picture frame with a picture of her and eli five years ago. she was ten and he was six. she loved her little brother with all her heart when her dad was around all he did was work, while her mom would stay home bring random men over and fuck them. and when her father came home the abuse would start. it wasn't her father who was abusive. it was her mother. she had boiling hatred for her mother. her mother was so hostile. she cared for no one. her infidelity was horrid.

another thing esme pulled out was a letter her father had sent her when he left. stating to her that he had cancer. she wanted to see him but he didn't want her to see him like that. but when he suddenly stopped calling and sending letters she assumed the worst. he must've died. but she was extremely close with her dad so it hurt.

she picked up another picture. it was of her and her mother when she was around three after eli was born that's when collie, her mother had her downfall. her brother was diagnosed with CCD and she always said she had failed as a mother because he so called wasn't beautiful enough. but esme thought he was perfect as he was. he wouldn't be eli without it. and with her dad working all the time and her mothers hatred towards eli. four-year-old esme would make his bottles from formula considering her mom refused to breast feed him. she would get him dressed and she even begged her father to homeschool her but he didn't allow it. and when she'd come home he'd have a full diaper, puke all down his clothes, and he reeked of piss. he would be crying, and when she'd look for her mom most of the time she'd walk in on her getting fucked.

esme threw the picture at the wall. the sound of glass shattering had caught violets attention. she knocked on the door first. "ess?" she then came in. esme wiped away a tear. "are you okay?" violet asked. esme sat down on her bed slumping her shoulders. "no. i hate myself. that night i could've saved them. i could've, but instead i was selfish. you know eli would be eleven right?" she said sadly picking at her nails.

violet sat next to her cousin. "i know. and i wish you would stop blaming yourself. and it's not selfish for not wanting to be in a world like that." vi said looking at her cousin with empathy. esme laid her head on violets shoulder. "yeah but i had eli. i didn't need to do that." she said with a sniffle.

violet laid her head on-top of esmes with a sigh. esme sniffled slightly.

🪞

the next morning she had gotten up, she got undressed and got in the shower as the warm water splashed down her pale face, her icy blue eyes staring at the water as it collided with the pupils it burned but she liked that sensation.

after her quick shower she wrapped a towel around her body and wiped the fog off the mirror and when she did someone in a black rubber suit appear she gasped in horror but when she turned around no one was there, and she then turned back to the mirror and they were actually gone. she sighed before splashing some water on her face and brush her teeth.

after she had gotten out of her bathroom she got dressed in a pair of low rise jeans that were loose fitting, with a small rip in one knee, and a long sleeve shirt, the base was a olive green and the sleeves were a dark brown, and a pair of dark brown converse. her hair laid straight down her back.

(UNDERAGE SMOKING TW)

after the two harmon cousins got dropped off at school later on they were walking down the campus smoking cigarettes.

"hey! student council passed a rule against smoking in public spaces. second hand smoke kills." a random girl said walking up to the two. "we're new. we didn't know." violet said throwing her cigarette on the ground and stepped on it. esme did the same. "what the hell is wrong with you?" the girl yelled at the two before picking up the cigarette buds, "people sit here. they eat here." she shouted.

"you don't know us. why are you doing this?" violet questioned. "leah's grandmother died of lung cancer. she takes this stuff pretty seriously." one of her minions stated.

"eat it. eat it or i'm gonna kick the shit out of you." she said to the two. "no." violet said sternly. leah looked over at esme before shoving the cigarette in her mouth. "come on, leah. thats enough." one of the girls said as they watched esme cough up the cigarette, "no, no, no. i want to see them eat it."

violet looked at esme, violet didn't like when people messed with esme. she didn't talk unless she liked someone and it was clear she didn't like this leah girl and the fact that she shoved a cigarette down her throat pissed violet off.

leah then lunged at violet trying to shove it down her throat as well. "no! no!" violet yelled, "yes! eat it!" leah shouted back. "leah, seriously, they're like, twelve." esme lunged at leah pushing her back and as she fell violet spit in her face. "you two are dead!" she screamed at the girls. "come on essie." violet said grabbing esmes hand the two ran off laughing. "you are dead!" leah repeated. "bad shit back there essie." violet gave her a high five.

🪞

(UNDERAGE SMOKING AND SH TW)

later on that day when the two girls got home esme went to her room. with a sigh she closed the door, and walked over to her bed flopping down. she then thought back to earlier when that bitch shoved a cigarette down her throat. it then got her thinking. someone did that because she didn't speak. she never spoke. but what was the point in speaking when all people do is either twist your words or use them against you?

she then reach over for her lighter and a cigarette, she lit it and took a hit, as the smoke flowed out of her mouth into little smoke clouds she lit her lighter again watching as the flame went up, and then gone, and then up and then gone. she set her cigarette on the side table and sat up. she pulled her sleeve up before putting the lighter flame to her wrist. she hissed in pain, you could see the burn and cut scars all down her wrist and forearm. as she felt the pain she laid her head back on her headboard after the flame went away. she sighed. but soon enough there was a scream. she pulled her sleeve down before quickly standing up and walked out of her room violet did as well and the two went off to the attic.

as the two climb up the latter, violet asks "what happened?" the two girls finally seen it, "holy shit." esme said with a smirk on her face. "let's get rid of it. come on. let's go downstairs. come on." vivien said motioning for the two girls to go. "watch the stairs."

🪞

the next day it was the weekend so that was good.

the sun had woken esme up this time she checked the clock and it was seven in the morning. she could never sleep in, she groaned before sitting up. she reach under her bed pulling out a notebook. she opened the page up, before scribbling some stuff down. "hey, i heard you move up here you mind to come downstairs and help me with something in a few?" vivien asked through the door.

"sure." esme responded, "gotta get dressed. i'll be down in twenty." she said getting up. esme threw on a long sleeve brown shirt, a brown and white flower printed dress that stopped right at the top of her knee, a pair of black tights, a pair of white white converse, she had her hair in braids the night before so they had the braided waves. she also had some mascara and lipgloss on all the time

the young teen walked downstairs and helped vivien with the groceries. ben walked through the room. "hey, um, ben. can i talk to you?" esme asked. "hurry, come on, a patient will be here in a little." he said motioning her to follow him, once they got into his office. she took a deep breath. "alright, shoot." he said grabbing a file.

"what actually happened to my dad?" she asked, "we've talked about this esme. i don't know why you keep bringing it up." he said with a hint of annoyance. "i know it wasn't cancer." she urged, "come on esme. you have this mind that makes shit up. and i'm getting tired of it." he said with venom on his tongue. "maybe viv was right." he said under his breath. she was used to him saying that. for the past year that's all he said when she had a feeling, idea or did one bad thing.

"i just want to know. i know you know." esme begged. "esme, i will tell you once again. even if he died from anything else i wouldn't tell you. okay. why would you want to know you never even appreciated what he did for you, nor did your slutty mother." ben said getting closer to his niece. "because i deserve to know." she stood her ground although she was terrified. "esme." he said with anger flowing through his veins, he looked over her shoulder her and backed up. she turned around to see a blonde boy around her age. she had glossy eyes and he could tell she'd been on the verge of tears.

"hopefully you can be a better talker with your patient." she whispered to him, before turning around and pushing past the boy. "teen girls am i right?" ben said with a chuckle as he seen the boy watch her walk away.

the boy turned back and shrugged his shoulders before sitting down.

(SH TW)

she was so mad she stormed upstairs to her room anger flowing through her veins. after a few she decided she'd go downstairs to the smaller bathroom, which was where her blade was. she put it against her skin, as it moved smoothly against her skin blood started to come out slowly. she did another one. but soon enough a voice peered in her ear.

"you're doing it wrong." she looked up in the mirror to see the boy from earlier. "if you're trying to kill yourself, cut vertically. they can't stitch that up." he said, she turned around, "how'd you get in here?" she asked slightly frightened. "if you're trying to kill yourself, you might also try locking the door." he said in a slight whisper voice she watched as he closed the door. before looking down at her wrists. she sighed.

OUTFITS:

first outfit:

second outfit:

(pretend those are white converse)