Brendon hasn't been clean for about a year. Dallon still doesn't know why, but this is his best friend. He promised he would be there for him, but this was getting too much. Every week, Brendon would come home with a new boy. A new boy that would never step foot into the house again because of him. Sometimes there will be parties, but Dallon usually isn't home for them. He loves the boy, he really does, but he doesn't know how much longer he can do this.

He came home from work to find Brendon passed out on the couch. He sighed as he walked over to wake him up. The boy jumped, but relaxed when he saw Dallon. "Oh, you scared me! I thought someone broke in." Dallon smiled and sat down a coffee he picked up for Brendon. "This is for the headache I'm sure you have." Brendon nervously chuckled and took a sip. "What happened last night? I barely remember any of it." Of course he didn't. He barely did. "I walked in and you were passed out in the bathroom. I went to take you to your bed, but there was someone already there. I brought you to my bed instead, and when I woke up, they were gone." Brendon sighed. "I'm sorry. That's the last guy I'm bringing home for a while. I mean it." He always said that, but Dallon could tell he was going to try. "I hope you mean it this time, Bren." He looked down at his coffee. "Well, I have to work on my music. Come get me if you need anything." Brendon nodded as Dallon walked into his room. He loved writing songs. It helped him calm down and express his emotions. He strummed on his ukulele and got lost in his lyrics.

But I still act surprised.

Dallon was asleep when he heard a bang. He got up to see what it was. He found Brendon in the bathroom, knee's shaking as he dropped something into the trash can. "D-Don't you knock?" He wasn't intoxicated. He could tell. Then what is he doing in here? "I had to make sure you were okay. What are you doing in here, anyways?" Brendon's eyes widened as he said "n-nothing." He'd check the trash can tomorrow, he just needed to get him to bed. "Come on, let's go to my room." Brendon unwillingly followed him. His bed was comfier, so Brendon likes it more. He lied down as Dallon went to leave the room. "Wait, where are you going?" He looked back at the brown-eyed boy. "The couch. You can have my bed tonight." He went to open the door when he heard Brendon groan. "Stay in here? I don't like being alone." Dallon rolled his eyes and walked towards the bed. "Keep your hands to yourself, and I will." Brendon chuckled as Dallon lied down next to him. He knew he hated being alone. Maybe that's why he had a new guy every week. But maybe the guy he really needed was closer than he thought.

TRIGGER WARNING: If mentions of self harm trigger you, please move on to the next chapter. Be safe :)

It was the next morning. Dallon had to get ready for work. Brendon was still asleep, and he didn't wanna wake him up. He went into the bathroom to get dressed, brush his teeth, fix his hair, all that jazz. He was about to leave when he remembered last night. It looked like Brendon panicked and dropped something into the trash can. He decided to look through the trash and see what he dropped. He almost teared up when he found what Brendon threw away. A razor blade. "Y-you found it." Dallon turned around to see a tired Brendon in the doorway. His eyes looked a little puffy, like he was about to cry. Dallon didn't know what to say other than "Why?" Brendon looked down at his feet to avoid eye contact. "I just want it all to stop.." Dallon dropped the blade back into the trash and stood up. "I know I'm fucked up Dallon.. I want to stop, but I just can't.. I thought the only way to stop was..." He heard quiet sniffles from the younger boy. He walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. "Brenny, I cant lose you. I won't lose you." It's true. Dallon still liked the boy, even if he had some problems. Brendon sunk his head into Dallon's shoulder and began to sob. Dallon wrapped his arms around him.

"It's gonna be okay. I'll help you through this."

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A/N: this is gonna hurt to write