Lizzy took her time getting ready for dinner.  Quinn had decided that they would all go out for the meal since they had just finished updating the old dance hall that they had all gone to as kids, and he was eager to see it. 

She had sat through lunch doing her best to act like she hadn't been bothered by Brian's presence.  Maybe if she kept pretending to have as little feeling for him as she had professed that night in her apartment she would actually start to feel that way?

All through lunch he had seemed relaxed and sure of himself as he always did.  It had been hard for Lizzy to eat her meal and keep her eyes from straying to him as much as they wanted to.

She studied her appearance in the floor length mirror. Quinn had put her in her girlhood bedroom and it hadn't changed.  The walls were still a warm butter yellow with white bedding and curtains the overall effect was sunny. Growing-up it had fit her personality, but now she thought it would be better if the room was painted a dark moody blue.

Her cheeks were pink after her nap and her shower. She had lost a few pounds over the last few weeks.  She didn't have a lot to lose so to her it was noticeable. She would have to eat well tonight. The last thing she needed was her family worrying about her. After Brian had left eight years earlier she had stopped eating, not because she was trying to hurt herself, but she just didn't see a point in it.  It had put her in the hospital for two weeks and she had to see a counselor to make sure she didn't have an eating disorder.

Walking over to her closet, she opened the door to find something to wear.  She had brought plenty with her but she was curious to see if any of the clothes she had worn when she was younger still fit her. They were all there, Quinn hadn't gotten rid of any of them. Her eyes landed on a white sundress that brought back memories. It was the one she wore her first day working for Brian,and the first time they had made love. They had had a running joke that the dress was the one who made the decision that night not them.

Did she dare?

She pulled it out of the closet and took it over to the mirror. She was trying to prove to Brian that she was putting the past behind her. This could be a way to do it. It looked like it still fit. After all it used to be her favorite dress.

Why not, Lizzy decided, throwing caution to the wind. She pulled the white gauzy sundress over her head. It had spaghetti straps attached to a ribbed tube top. The top hugged her breasts and stomach with the full flouncy skirt falling just above her knees. She rummaged through her old jewelry case and found a matching set of turquoise earrings, bracelet and necklace then she rummaged in the back of her closet until she found her old red cowboy boots.

She walked back over the mirror to take in her appearance. She was astounded. She looked like she was eighteen again. She decided that she would leave her hair down. She knew there was a shawl so she rummaged some more and found a pretty white one that matched.

Taking one last glance at herself she felt good. She felt in control, just the way she had that night with Brian years ago.

"Lizzy! Let's go!" Caleb shouted up the steps.

It was too late now to change her mind.

When she got downstairs Quinn and Caleb looked at her with equally stunned expressions.

"Lizzy you look beautiful," Dana said as she gave Quinn a quick push.

"You look like you're from Texas," Janie said slowly.

"Lizzy you look like you are eighteen again," Quinn said, shaking his head.  "You're aging, or rather not aging, just like our mother."

They piled into the truck for the short drive to the hall.  Lizzy was mesmerized by the beautiful sunset.  The red and gold streaked sky was a perfect foil for the hills of Bluebonnets. She hung back a little behind the group as they entered the hall, not as eager to see Brian, Helen, and Heather as the others were.

"There they are," Quinn pointed out before he surged forward, pulling Dana behind him.

Lizzy's eyes followed the direction they were moving. Brian had his back to her. She would recognize that strong back and silver hair anywhere.  He was talking to a tall thin man who looked to be her age. She saw the man notice her and watched as his gaze raked over her from head to toe, and the look immediately set her on edge. It was a feeling that she had had on some iffy blind dates before and it had saved her on more than one occasion.

However, as soon as Brian turned around she forgot the other man. 

She watched his eyes widen and then narrow as his gaze raked over her just as the other man had done, but this time no alarm bells went off at his heated gaze.  She felt her knees go weak and could feel her hands tremble as she pushed her hair off of her shoulders.  Did he remember the dress? She watched as the muscle in his jaw jumped, a sure sign that he was tense. 

He remembered the dress.

She moved towards the group and Helen greeted her warmly.  "You look so sweet Lizzy."

"Thank you," she murmured as she took her seat, noting that the band must have been on a break because the juke box was playing and no one was dancing.

"Lizzy, this is my other son Patrick," Helen introduced the tall thin man to her.

"Patrick." She nodded, not extending her hand because she had no wish to make contact with him no matter how brief.

"Beautiful Lizzy," he greeted, sitting next to her. "Where have you been all my life?"

Lizzy could have slid away from him, the bench she was sitting on allowed for it, but she was afraid that she would appear rude to Helen's son so she held as still as possible.

"Does that line work often?" she asked with a polite laugh.

"Often enough," he whispered, allowing her to smell the alcohol on his breath. 

She supposed some would consider him handsome. He had dark hair like Brian had years ago and the same dark blue eyes, but that was where the similarities stopped.  Brian was tall and broad, with sharply defined features and a strong jaw line, which she noticed, currently, had a silvery shadow to it.  She moved her gaze away from Brian, where it had wandered, and back towards Patrick who had moved closer.

He was thin and his skin was flushed from all that he had had to drink, and his nose looked like it had been broken more than once.

"So, I hear that you're decorating my mother's house. Is this something you do to pass the time until you find yourself a man to marry?"

"Excuse me?" she asked, affronted. "I actually own my own interior design firm and work very hard at making it a success. Something I plan to do for a very long long time," she defended, moving away from him in the process.

"But you're a Stevens, surely you don't need to work," he scoffed as if she was crazy for wanting to work.

Lizzy's eyes narrowed, and she had just opened her mouth to tell Patrick exactly what she thought of his insinuation when Quinn grabbed her arm. "Lizzy, the band has started, come dance with me."

Lizzy turned her angry gaze on Quinn, but he gave it no notice as pulled her arm again, giving her a big grin. Lizzy's anger faded and she allowed Quinn to pull her out on the dance floor and start her in a two-step. Eventually her big brother's vibe allowed her to feel reasonably calm enough to open her mouth. "Is that really Brian's brother?"

"Yep, he has been down a few times to visit Helen since she rented her house to stay in while they restore the old farmhouse. I do my best to keep Dana away from him.  He is bad news for sure."

"Why doesn't Helen tell him to stay away? It's obvious that he is making everyone uncomfortable," Lizzy said, looking back at the table. Patrick had wandered off but Brian was leaning back in his chair.  He had on a pair of well-worn blue jeans and a crisp white button down shirt open at the collar. He had also broken out his very well worn pair of cowboy boots.

Lizzy quickly looked away before she started to drool.  Drooling would not do for a girl who didn't care about the past. But not looking at the man didn't keep her from sensing it every time he looked at her.

"I think Helen is oblivious to her youngest son's faults."

"Or in denial," Lizzy added. How could two brothers be so different?

Brian was self-assured, owned his space, and didn't give a damn about what others thought. His brother had none of those traits. It was actually sad to watch. Lizzy saw Patrick trying to pick-up another girl at the bar.

"We are often blind in love.  We can't always see the obvious even when it is apparent to those around us."

Lizzy's gaze narrowed as she looked at her brother.  Was he trying to direct the point at her?

"You've learned that one the hard way, huh?" Lizzy teased, realizing he was talking about himself, and the way he had denied himself Dana for so long before he gave in and let her catch him.

He just laughed as he spun her around in a twirl, when Lizzy fell against him she was laughing too. They stopped talking and started to dance.  Quinn had always been a good dancer, and there had been many a night when they had gone out and spent the evening dancing the Texas Two Step just as they were now.

Lizzy was breathless by the time they got back to the table. Someone had ordered pounds of bar-b-q and Lizzy didn't have to remind herself to eat as she made a plate and dug into the mountain of food.

"You and Quinn look so good out there.  He's been trying to teach me to dance but I'm afraid that I have two left feet," Helen said sadly in between bites of food.

"How about a dance?" Patrick asked, sitting next to her again.

"Not right now Patrick." Lizzy held up her bar-b-q stained hands. "I'm a little messy." 

She lingered over dinner as long as she could, watching as Quinn led each of the ladies onto the floor.

"Aren't you going to ask one of the ladies to dance Brian?" Helen asked.

Brian shot his mother a smile. "Well since you asked." He pulled Helen from her seat and moved her out onto the floor while Patrick glared at the two of them before excusing himself to go to the bar for another drink.

Dana who was sitting on Lizzy's other side sighed as she watched the dancers.  Quinn was twirling Heather around, and Caleb had seen a group of his friends so he had joined them on the other side of the hall. Leaving only Janie, Lizzy, and Dana at the table.

"He really is a good dancer," Janie said, watching Brian.

"Yes, Brian seems to be good at everything," Dana whispered and started to giggle.  Lizzy looked at her sister-in law shocked, realizing that she was a little tipsy.

Janie was suffering from the same condition and started to giggle too. "He is so gorgeous, but I bet he is even better looking with his shirt off."

Lizzy started to shake her head, both amused and uncomfortable with the conversation.

"I mean Quinn is so handsome, and I love him more than anything, but that doesn't mean a girl can't enjoy the view.  Just look at his butt in those jeans." Since both Janie and Dana's eyes were glued to Brian's butt, she was surprised it wasn't burning.

"Can you imagine what a night with him would be like?  All that unleashed power." Janie's eyes grew dreamy. Lizzy was getting now extremely uncomfortable, she had firsthand knowledge of what a night with Brian was like and Janie wasn't that far off from the truth.

"He used to be an Army Ranger," Dana confided in Janie, "but he got shot and they gave him a medal or something." She waved her hand as if to move the fog from her brain

"Really?" Lizzy asked stunned.  Why did she not know that?  "How do you know that?" she asked Dana.

"Oh, Helen told me.  She is so proud of him. He joined the Army really young."

Lizzy watched as Brian moved across the floor. Even at forty-one his build was in top condition. She suddenly remembered the tattoo that took over one of his shoulders.  She had asked him what the tattoo meant once, and he had told her that it was to hide the past.  She had thought that he was being unusually dramatic, but he must have been telling the truth because she knew every inch of his skin and there was no apparent scarring, but under the tattoo, her fingers traced the tablecloth remembering Brian's shoulder, there had been a roughness to his skin. Had he gotten the tattoo to hide the scar?

Had she been that blind, or had he been that good at hiding?

"Excuse me," Lizzy said as she rose from the table, needing to get away.

When Lizzy hit the ladies room she went to the sink and splashed some cold water on her face.  "How?" she asked herself aloud. How had she missed so much? What else had she missed that she still didn't know about? Was Rainer right? Could Brian have cared for her? Could he still?

She held back a groan as she remembered the night he had come to her apartment.  She had all but warned him off so if he was still interested she had pretty much shot herself in the foot. Suddenly, she remembered he had been about to say something, but she had cut him off, and now she would never know.

No, she couldn't let herself think like that, he had left her eight years ago; there was nothing that she could have done differently. You could have told him you loved him a little voice in her said, but she flinched at the thought, certain that it wouldn't have helped, and it would have made her look like a fool.

She looked at herself in the mirror, taking in her flushed cheeks and wide eyes. She really did look like she looked all those years ago. Forget about looking the fool then, she looked like a fool now. To have worn the dress after all of these years only showed Brian that she was not over it, and that she remembered everything; the opposite of what she had intended it to mean. She pushed herself away from the mirror and rushed out of the bathroom, she had to get out of there, she had to put it all behind her once and for all.

"Dance with me Elizabeth," Brian said, grabbing her hand as she raced out of the bathroom. Before she could object he pulled her out on the floor. It was a slow song so he pulled her close, and she was powerless to resist the feel of his arms around her, so she gave in and leaned into him.  It felt so good to be held by him.

"Why did you wear that dress Elizabeth?" he asked, his voice nearly breaking.

Lizzy looked hard at him, trying to see if his expression matched his voice.  When she realized that he looked as bored as usual she shrugged. "I was trying to prove a point."

"And did you, prove a point?" He was looking over her shoulder not at her, and his voice sounded like it always did, meaning she must have imagined his earlier gruffness.

She shook her head. "Not the one I wanted to prove."

She tilted her head back and looked into his eyes. Everything stopped as she tried to find all of the answers to her questions there, but as usual they were free of any real emotion.

"How do you do that? How do you not feel? I would love to be able to turn it on and off at a moment's notice."

"I feel Elizabeth, I just do my best to control what I feel so others don't get hurt by it."

"Is that what you tried to do back then? Control what you felt so that I wouldn't get hurt? Is that what you're trying to do now? If that's the case, it might have hurt less to know what you were feeling.  At least I would have known that you felt something."

Brian gave a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Or did you not want to be bothered by what I felt because my feelings might have tempered what you felt?" he asked in response to her heavy statement.

Lizzy was more confused than ever, was he saying he did care or that he didn't? She was too scared to ask the question.

"I really didn't know anything, did I? I still don't. I'm just sweet innocent Lizzy, Bryce's kid sister, good for a laugh but not anyone to take too seriously. I really can't blame you. You were honest and up front from the start." She looked over his shoulder to watch their table watching them.

"I was never honest Elizabeth, and I was always afraid that you would make me into some kind of white knight. I'm not.  I'm human. If I were a white knight I would have stayed well away from you." She could tell he wanted to shake her.

To Lizzy's relief the song ended and the band said they were taking a break, so Brian followed Lizzy back to the table, neither one saying a word.

"That looked like a serious conversation," Dana said as they took their seats.

"Well, I was just suggesting that we start on Mother's house tomorrow, but I think Elizabeth was hoping to have a little vacation before she got started," Brian lied easily.

"I informed him that he was paying the bills so we could start whenever he was ready." Lizzy smiled sweetly.

"Why do you call Lizzy, Elizabeth?" Janie asked, her tipsy state making her bold enough to talk directly to Brian.

"You're a little drunk Janie," Brian said, avoiding the question.

"Yep," Janie started laughing and looked a Dana who started to laugh too.

"Quinn, I think it is time that we head home," Lizzy suggested, putting her arm behind Janie to keep her from falling out of her seat.

"Yep," Quinn said, mimicking Janie's earlier comment with a grin, enjoying watching his wife's school girl behavior.

"I think you might get lucky mister." Dana wagged her finger in Quinn's face.

Quinn pulled her close kissing her hair. "I think I already did."

Lizzy's eyes met Brian's over Janie's head. His eyes were expressionless, but his knuckles were white because they were gripping his beer bottle so tight. Something had upset him, but Lizzy was too busy trying to get Janie to stand up to figure it out.