Midoriya POV

Well, he'd fucked up. Big time. There was no doubt about that. No sir. He'd been under so much pressure and stress from society that he almost forgot who he was which led him to act like a little bitch baby to someone who had always been there for him. After the death of hero and mentor All Might, he had been on a downward spiral from the grief and want to make him proud and as a result, ended up being a self-righteous jealous asshole. If he was really being honest with himself, although he admired his childhood friend and rival, he'd been jealous of him too.

He'd used the information Uraraka supplied him with to self-implode. Maybe it was his way to protect her considering everything he was currently experiencing. Death threats from unknown sources, hate mail saying he would never be All Might and an unrealistic expectation that he would still surpass him and become number one. How the hell did people do all this without exploding? All in all, he knew Uraraka had her own issues and her own traumas and needed a level of support he just was incapable of giving at this point in time. She deserved someone to give that to her. The truth of the matter was that when they had gotten together it was at a low point in both their lives. They tried to make it work but he sometimes thought they were better off as just friends. He thought maybe it would change if they felt more comfortable with being intimate, but that was easier said than done when neither of them seemed overly desperate to initiate it. Sometimes it was nice to have the company at night and they could cuddle, but it always seemed like enough. So it frustrated him when he realised that Bakugo could do something that he couldn't. That they had the chemistry between them that he and Uraraka just didn't. It made him feel like a failure considering the world always insinuated how good they should be together. It was stupid and pathetic of him, but nothing was turning out like he had expected it to.

When he ended up drunk at the reunion, he embarrassed himself more than he'd care to admit. Their friends clearly saw that something was up and looked between them curiously, but said nothing about it other than asking if they were okay. There had been a couple of tense moments in the past few months with them all when Uraraka started backing off and withdrawing. They all saw it and none of them knew how to help. He didn't know how to help, but then again, he didn't know how to help himself either.

"I think you should go home." It was Todoroki that made the suggestion. Always one to point out the logic, that one.

"I agree." Traitor Tsuyu added, tapping her chin and eyeing him cautiously. "It's unlike you to start a fight, particularly where Bakugo is concerned."

"They slept together." His words were slurred and he could barely see straight. "He always gets things I want because he isn't broken like me."

"I don't think that's true." Todoroki looked thoughtful for a moment. "He's been in love with Kirishima for years and nothing has happened until now." Looking over to where the two friends were, Midoriya noticed that they were involved in a tight lip lock. Was he the only one who had no idea about the two? Evidently.

"Maybe I should have slept with Kirishima." He muttered, throwing back the last of his drink. As much as he knew he'd fucked up tonight, it did still hurt that he wasn't able to figure things out with his own girlfriend. He desperately wished that they could somehow reignite the spark, but there was something dark and sinister holding him back.

"Okay, now we know you're drunk." Tsuyu commented, taking his glass off of him. "You don't like men like that."

"True..." Midoriya muttered, slumping down on the chair. "I don't even like myself."

"You're stressed." Tsuyu told him easily. "Maybe you need a holiday?"

"I just wish my life was easy." He sighed, resting his head down on the table. "Kaachan's life is easy. People love him even though he is like he is."

"That's not true either." Todoroki replied, looking over to the two making out by the bar, all loved up and a little drunk.

"Then why did she sleep with him?" He groaned, unhappily knowing deep down it had nothing to do with him and more the circumstances of their jobs.

"You know why." Again it was so blunt, yet so typical of the man. "Maybe you should see how they felt about it instead. I hear that solves problems to do with the heart." Groaning, he knew he was right so he swallowed his pride and a glass full of water before going to find the girl he once thought he was going to spend his life with.

"Can we talk?" He finally found Uraraka giggling in the corner with Mina, eyes slightly red from having cried earlier in the night.

"Depends," She glared right through him. "Are you going to slut shame me again?"

"No." He sighed, swallowing the lump in his throat. "I shouldn't have said those things in the first place. It's been pointed out to me that I've been massively insensitive."

"Understatement of the year." Mina muttered, ignoring the looks she got as she manoeuvred out onto the dancefloor. "Maybe Jiro will dance with me."

"So?" Uraraka looked at him expectantly as he sat down beside her.

"I'm sorry." He conceded, running a hand across his face. "I don't know what going on with us... with me. I lost my cool and used it as an excuse to push you away because we aren't working."

"I don't understand." She answered, uncrossing her arms and looking at him with confusion. "You picked a fight with me to end things?"

"No, I was jealous he could give you something I couldn't." He admitted sadly. "I'm not in a good place. You're not in a good place and I don't know how to give you what you need. I don't know if I can."

"I don't know if I can either." She spoke softly, eyes pricking with tears as she touched his cheek. "I was in love with you for so long, that's something nobody else can give me, but you're right. We aren't working."

"So what do we do?" He dared to ask sadly.

"I think we should take some time." Uraraka told him, wiping the tears away from her eyes. "I'll move my stuff out in the next few days."

"Okay." He swallowed. "I might go away so you can organise yourself. For what it's worth, nothing I said was true. I really do care about you."

"I know." And just like that, they were done.

~~~

When he woke up alone, sad and hungover, his chest felt heavy with sadness and regret. It was fucking bitter. This isn't what he wanted his adult life to be, but how the hell do you fix something so terribly broken? Hauling himself up, he decided to do something he hadn't done in a long time.

It took him only thirty minutes to shower, get coffee and make his way to the train station. He applied for a couple of weeks off, just to disappear and work his shit out. Judging by the text messages on his phone, Uraraka was going to start moving her stuff out this afternoon... and honestly it had come more as a relief than anything. Maybe she would find what she needed and deserved. He just hoped they could go back to being friends one day after all the awful shit he'd said to her. Maybe these weeks away would allow him to think of a way to apologise properly.

Finally, he had made it back to his home town. It was familiar and comforting being back there and he had no idea why he'd avoided it for so long. It had been at least a year and a half since seeing his mother, all because he didn't want to worry her. She probably did anyway, but it was easier to pretend she didn't if he didn't take her calls. It was selfish, but maybe he just needed that self-preservation. With a hesitant, slow knock he waited with baited breath.

"Izuku!" His mother's eyes went wide and excited before filling with tears as she pulled him into a hug. That was when he finally lost it and let all his emotions out his eyes. "Oh honey, what's wrong? Why are you here?"

"I don't know, it's just really hard." He sniffed as she ushered him inside. "I ruined everything and I missed you."

"Okay, you sit down and I'm going to make your favourite dinner and you're going to tell me everything." Boy it was good to be home.

The two weeks went by ridiculously quickly and he found himself not wanting to go back to reality. He'd actively avoided every text and phone call he could and even went as far as to not turn on the television. It was a great reprieve and he honestly had forgotten what that felt like. The day before he was due back, he decided to take a little visit down memory lane and return to UA, hoping that this would bring back all the reasons why he had wanted to be a hero in the first place. Had he been kidding himself all this time? He'd tried so hard and now, he was just lost and confused. Is this what happens when you're forced to grow up so young? Were any of them really okay? Probably not.

Walking through the ground, he noticed a group of teenagers by the river, talking about their idols and who they wanted to be like when they were finally able to be heroes.
A young girl with red hair was talking about Red Riot and his genuine nature and unbeatable manliness. A boy that reminded him a lot of Bakugo was rolling his eyes at the rambling. Beside them was a couple of girls talking about Uravities new costume updates while another boy was throwing pebbles into the river with a pair of red shoes... The nostalgia became very apparent in that moment and he realised that this place, this school, had been where he was the happiest. Maybe it was time to recapture that.
With new found determination, he walked to the principal's office, ready to make a case as to why he should be granted privileges to teach in the hero training course. It was time to get his passion back and maybe these young, bright minds would make him remember why he chose this career in the first place.